AARP!

Yikes!  They found me.

My AARP card showed up in the mail (unsolicited!) the other day. Or, rather, a fake one did. A tenative one. A marketing teaser.

Yeah, like *this* is going to whet my appetite, pique my interest. Hahahahaha.

You take all your discounts and your great services and you can just...

Dry up, already. Why don't you go pick on somebody your own age?

(Ooops.  Oh, yeah...)

;)

Purple Peppers

at the Farmers' Market yesterday.  They're kind of Vikings-colored. And if green and purple ones are out now, can yellow, red and orange bell peppers be far behind?  So out came the chopping knife and into the freezer they went!

Zucchini and eggplant were there, too, and the year's first sweet corn! Plus, there are still fresh green beans and berries.  Tomatoes, cauliflower.  Next week maybe I'll get kohlrabi, if I can figure out what to do with it.  I love this time of year.  :)

I don't know if this is a good deal or not, but here's what $20 buys around here:

Yeah, it's a little blurry, but.. I was so excited!  ;)  Oh, and in the upper right corner you can see my raspberries infusing into white vinegar for a raspberry vinaigrette.  Should be almost ready..

Stand up, pick up..

.. start walking.

Sunday the pastor at Encompass preached a sermon on the account in John 5 (excerpted below) of Jesus healing the guy who was lying on his mat by the pool of Bethesda.

The guy was quite a whiner and had a real defeatist attitude about his illness (I might, too, after 38 years of it), thinking he was stuck being that way forever.

Jesus asked if he wanted to get well, and he sort of went "but, but, but..."; finally Jesus simply said:

1) stand up,
2) pick up after yourself,
3) start walking.

Later on He added 4) stop sinning.

So the pastor made the point that we all have these negative images of ourselves that we carry around and wallow in at times. Bad things may have happened to us, through our own mistakes or the cruelty of others, and we carry those things around for so long that they *become* us.

We personalize our afflictions. We let the scars from the wounds disfigure us, and then define us. We listen to the words in our heads.

I'm a victim (of corporate greed, of discrimination, of abuse, of cancer...) I'm an alcoholic. I'm an under-achiever. I have low self-esteem. I'm fat. I'm old. I'm dumb. I'm sick. I'm ugly.

The pastor's point was that Jesus says the same thing to us, today – stand up, pick up, start walking, (and stop sinning.)

We all (including those of us on worship team) wrote on slips of paper the one thing that keeps us "lying on our mats, sick" at heart. Then we laid the notes on a mat that the staff took, rolled up, and threw out.

What I wrote down was: (well, never mind.)

Some of you already know that it has a lot to do with what I see in the mirror. (That phrase I wrote down) is my self-image, or has been since grade school. And I've spent years either subtly trying various means to prove otherwise, or surrendering to it in a destructive attempt to validate it.

Endocrine medication, counseling, key relationships, exercise, and a new faith journey, have all helped me see that I am not (what I wrote down) anymore. I’m really okay as is, and I think that now I can stop either: going out of my way to try to prove that I’m okay, or giving in to the memories of all the words that said I'm not..

It was a good insight for me. And I'll never hear this passage again without thinking that *I* am the man Jesus healed that day.

John 5 (New Living Translation)

Jesus Heals a Lame Man

1 Afterward Jesus returned to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish holy days. 2 Inside the city, near the Sheep Gate, was the pool of Bethesda, with five covered porches. 3 Crowds of sick people—blind, lame, or paralyzed—lay on the porches waiting for a certain movement of the water, 4 for an angel of the Lord came from time to time and stirred up the water. And the first person to step in after the water was stirred was healed of whatever disease he had. 5 One of the men lying there had been sick for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, “Would you like to get well?”

7 “I can’t, sir,” the sick man said, “for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me.”

8 Jesus told him, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!”

9 Instantly, the man was healed! He rolled up his sleeping mat and began walking! But this miracle happened on the Sabbath, 10 so the Jewish leaders objected. They said to the man who was cured, “You can’t work on the Sabbath! The law doesn’t allow you to carry that sleeping mat!”

11 But he replied, “The man who healed me told me, ‘Pick up your mat and walk.’”

12 “Who said such a thing as that?” they demanded.

13 The man didn’t know, for Jesus had disappeared into the crowd. 14 But afterward Jesus found him in the Temple and told him, “Now you are well; so stop sinning, or something even worse may happen to you.” 15 Then the man went and told the Jewish leaders that it was Jesus who had healed him.

comfort

.


hold commitment close
reach exhaustion in its arms
let its love soothe you


.

Ceremony, or casualness?

Catholic, or Evangelical?

Some say there's ritual in one but not in the other, or structure in one but not in the other.  I don't think so.  Both churches have ritual and structure.  In the Evangelical church there are certain ways you do things, patterns that you follow.  We wouldn't *call* them rituals or structures, but they are.

The application of those terms (ritual, structure) to how we "do church" on Sundays (or even to "informal" midweek activities, like study groups) is kind of embarrassing.  We like to think of ourselves as not bound to ritual or tradition.  

Bosh.  We have them.  They're patterns and forms, no less than those in the liturgical churches.

What they aren't... are ceremonies.  In the Catholic church there is an embracing of ritual, a celebrating of ceremony, an honoring of tradition.  That lends a formality to the patterns and forms of worship and fellowship.  But that doesn't mean they're necessarily stiff, unchanging  and inflexible.

This weekend was a good example.  I had a chance to compare and contrast the two by serving "up front" in both settings.  I was a lector (read the Scripture and led the Prayers of the Faithful) for the first time at St. Rose's on Saturday, and was on worship team (helping to lead the singing) at EnCompass on Sunday.

In both, I had to pay attention.  Neither was casual.  Outwardly, I looked more casual at EnCompass, wearing a black t-shirt & jeans.  At St. Rose's, I wore dress pants & shoes, polo shirt and blazer.  But in both settings I had to concentrate on what to do and when.

And although the liturgy at St. Rose's specified when I got up, sat down, and the very words I uttered, it's not like there was no deviation.  It was "celebrating summer" day, and the servers & priest all wore hawaiian shirts (or robe) and leis.  Me, too (matched my shirt, even.)  :)  

Then the weekly liturgy guide (with the songs for the week in it) had a misprinted page, so.. the priest and the cantor just... made stuff up!  Improvisation - it was almost Evangelical.  ;)  Plus, we vary things (liturgy, colors, songs) by where we are in the church calendar.  There's change.

At EnCompass, while the songs and prayers are never done the same way twice, yet we rehearse it to a pulp beforehand, so that we all know *exactly* who does what part and what our cues are.  We really leave nothing to chance, even though it seems very informal.

There is something wonderfully majestic about processing into the sanctuary at St. Rose's, holding the Gospel high, placing it on the altar, stepping back, bowing..   I felt honored to carry the Word, to speak it, and to lead prayer.  :)

And there is something wonderfully intimate about creating a fresh harmony of voices, and seeing people's faces glowing in worship when the vocals swell from quiet unison to soaring parts..  I felt honored to assist in worship, to point toward God in song.  :)

Time-honored ceremony.  Studied casualness.  

Both are good.  And I'm honored to help.  Really.

Music Reviews: Keane, Maroon 5, Bon Iver, Eric Clapton

Gee, I think I have some catching up to do before I can review the music from my latest road trip.  :)

Keane - "Under The Iron Sea", "Hopes and Fears": They're the next Coldplay, I guess. Or so they say. But just one listen and you can see why people might think so. My goodness, what a clean, full, and enjoyable sound. You can relax to it during a meal, or listen more attentively to the content and musicianship. They're good.

Favorites: What's not to like? :) But if I have to pick... From "H&F", This Is The Last Time, Bend & Break, Somewhere Only We Know, Everybody's Changing. From "UTIS", Crystal Ball, Is It Any Wonder?, Nothing In My Way, A Bad Dream, Broken Toy.

Maroon 5 - "Songs About Jane", "It Won't Be Soon Before Long": Yeah, yeah, don't even. They're packaged and pop. So, okay. I still like 'em. :) They do easy ballads just as well as they do uptempo thumpers and every bit as well as their Stevie-Wonder-ish moderate funk. 

And without seeing them... I'll bet they put on a good show, too. Too expensive now, though. I'll stick to CDs.

Favorites: from "SAJ", She WIll Be Loved, Sunday Morning, This Love. From "IWBSBL", Won't Go Home Without You, Better That We Break, Back At Your Door, Makes Me Wonder. The rest of the tracks on each CD are still strong, just don't stand out quite like these do. Good windows-down, summer-driving music, all.

Bon Iver - "For Emma, Forever Ago":  He was the opening act at Rock the Garden in June, and while the crowd went nuts for his "Skinny Love", he seemed very spare in his orchestration, with a voice that had a quality reminiscent of playing a saw with a bow.  So I wondered if that was just a live thing or if his studio effort was similar.

Pretty much, yeah.  He sure is hot right now, and is really developing a following, though I'm not sure why.  He sounds like he's singing in a tunnel, and the songs are a bit shapeless.  Yes, it's interesting that he composed the songs while wintering in a cabin in NW Wisconsin, but.. does that make the music good?  Ehh.  I really only liked Lump Sum, Blindsided and For Emma.

Eric Clapton - "Unplugged": Wow. He can really play (and sing) the blues. And not just the grinding Chicago or bayou styles - the fun stuff, too. :) I think the reason this album was so successful and spawned a series of imitators was that you never thought of the guy just playing acoustic and singing.

But he's so good at it! He even does one of my favorite renditions of Over The Rainbow (not on this CD, but - get it from iTunes!) which was the concert closer from his most recent tour. Even for a live CD (which I usually avoid), I love all this stuff, but my favorites are Tears in Heaven, and Old Love. Just great.

Introducing... The Beetles!

the Japanese Beetles. :(

Stinking little things. I discovered holes chewed in some grapevine leaves a week or two ago. Just two leaves on one plant. I didn't think much of it.

Then, a few days later, I saw one of these sitting on it:

Creepy.

And if I don't stop them, they do this:

It just so happens that grape leaves are one of their favorite foods, as well as roses. So out came the sprayer, squirt, squirt, squirt. And while I'm away, D is on bug patrol.

I suppose they have as much right to live as any organism, but that doesn't give them license to destroy my plants!

Grrrr... Eat somewhere else, buglets.

As for me, I'm heading home.  It's about time I head back... to right where I belong. :)



(blogger's note: the Three Track Party post is updated for pictures. well, all right, only one, but.. it's cool.)

Duty vs. Desire

or Needs vs. Wants...

One of the things we talked about in the training class this week (albeit in a sales context) was how needs move to becoming wants. In sales, it's wants, not needs, that close the deal.

The example the instructor (the Brit with the pot belly) used was that he knows he *needs* to lose weight. But seeing the need doesn't translate into action, until you want it badly enough to DO something about it. So until a health crisis (or a relationship crisis, or...) intervenes and makes him *want* to lose the weight, he won't.

It could be quitting smoking, cutting back on alcohol (or sugar or caffeine or salt), getting in shape, etc. Whatever. It's the same process - you got to WANT to.

When you want to - you'll act; you'll buy.

It's like the difference between duty & desire. Duty says: "I ought to. I really should." Desire says: "Coming through, baby, that's for me!"

And it occurred to me... which would you prefer to have characterize a relationship? Duty or desire?

Granted, they're not mutually exclusive. You can have both. But typically, duty only takes over when desire fails. Desire is the stonger motivator, but it's subject to fluctuation.

Committment happens when desire becomes so strong that it's willing to allow itself to be channeled and focused and ... yes, even restrained... for a greater purpose.

There are times in every relationship when duty takes over. But ideally, those times are short in duration. Duty, even in a military setting, is given relief regularly, in order to reconnect with the original desire to serve your country.

Duty that endures without desire over a long period is held up in our culture as great "sacrifice", as in the example of someone caring for a family member with dementia who no longer knows you. But who *wants* a relationship characterized by sacrifice?

No one. Relationships are meant to be mutually edifying.

So, where am I going with this? Nowhere, exactly. Just musing. :)

We also went through the Maslow Heirarchy of Needs model, which does incorporate the notion of desire, and illustrates how it can change your focus on needs.

When you lose your job, as I did a year ago, suddenly your need for security is threatened. If the job loss is protracted, then you start to worry about basic needs like shelter and health care. Your needs for socializing and self-esteem and freedom and self-actualization start to take a back seat to the desire to eat and be safe.

So then the instructor got us into a discussion about how to ask probing questions to help us understand the needs that people (read: clients, customers) have.

If we know what it is that people need, we can set about moving those needs into wants (stimulating desire), and then satisfy those with our product or service. (Even if the service is just creating a spreadsheet that analyzes something they are puzzling over...)

This made me think about doing the same thing in relationships. If you have a relationship with someone (or... you want one!) wouldn't you want to understand what their needs are?

Maybe then you can move some of those needs to wants and then satisfy them with whatever it is you have to give. Desire for you then follows. And committment follows that.

Of course if you don't have what it takes to satisfy them... then either the relationship isn't in the cards, or... it may just motivate you to change and learn to be able to give them what it is they need. (If your desire for them is strong enough, of course. You got to WANT to change, right?)

So then, I got to thinking about how I would communicate (to anyone who asked) what needs I have that a relationship could meet.

Well, it depends on the kind of relationship of course. Friend? Relative? Lover? All three? ;)

So now here it gets a bit personal. I'll save most of this for the real conversations if and when they happen. :) But one last thought on this, in sort of a generic sense, for any kind of relationship.

To me there is a connection between intimacy and acceptance. They are symbiotic.

I want intimacy (and here I mean access to the head and heart) with the other person. I will give them acceptance (and here I mean assurance of love and emotional safety) in order to get it.

In reverse, if someone wants to be intimate with me, I need to feel accepted by them to be able to give it. The safer I feel with them, the more I will reveal - the more assured I am of their love, the more I will share with them about who I really am inside.

And the closer that acceptance comes to being unconditional, the more transparent with them I can become. The opposite is also true. If I feel rejected, I shut down and stop sharing. And so, it spirals, either upwards or downwards.

Now we go back to desire. If a relationship is based on duty, can the intimacy/acceptance cycle ever spiral upwards? Not very likely. It takes a desire for intimacy with a person to make you want to risk being known by them.

But if they make you feel safe and loved... getting past duty (I should share my heart) to desire (I want to share my heart) sure is easier.

Training Day(s)

There's a good reason to sweat going into the office down here.

Or more precisely to sweat *leaving* the office. When I drove back to the hotel Monday after the training class, the average of three different temperature readings was... 101! Ugh.

The training itself was better than I expected (but then again I didn't expect much.) To start with, the two trainers were named Graham and Raoul. One was a Brit and the other from Switzerland. The accents were charming.

Raoul spoke "Swinglish", as he called it, complicated by the fact that neither English or Swiss-German were his native language. Graham had me fascinated with the different words and pronunciations he brought with him from London. I made a list. :)

There were the usual, like "lift" for elevator, but there were several others I hadn't heard. Instead of being on the witness stand, one was "in the dock." We ate lunch in the "canteen" instead of the cafeteria.

Instead of an org chart, we reviewed an "organogram." Apparently he would prefer that we "flog" a dead horse rather than beat one. Daily drudgery became daily "muck & mire", and a class training manual became the "brochure" (pronounced BROshur.)

Other pronunciation was different, such as PROcess (with a long O sound), and conSULtative instead of consulTAtive. The premise for a meeting was pronounced "premIZE", and while became "whilst", etc. Fascinating.

From the content of the class itself, several things became interesting in application outside of work, such as how we filter information, relationship needs, duty vs desire, and others.

But that, folks... is for another post on another day. I'm off to dinner, and then homework. Case studies to read. Yikes!

Keeps me off the streets, I guess. :)

summer in winter

"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

----- Albert Camus



Albert. Dude. I can relate to this.

Not to invincible, maybe. That kind of assurance I don't have yet.

But... I did learn that summer *was* in there somewhere. Even in the coldest, harshest parts of winter, there was still a place of sun and warmth within. I just needed some help to find it. :)



invincible

no i don't think so
but i do know that i am
stronger than before

Love Show

Sit down, give me your hand.
I'm gonna tell you the future
I see you, living happily
With somebody who really suits ya
Someone like me

Stand still. Breathe in.
Are you listening?

You don't know
Somebody's aching. Keeping it all in.
Somebody won't let go of his heart but the truth is
It's painless
Letting your love show

Break down. Give me some time.
I don't want the fear to confuse ya
Right now, it's so wrong
But maybe it's all in the future with
Someone like you

Stand still. Breathe in.
Are you listening?

You don't know
Somebody's aching. Keeping it all in.
Somebody won't let go of his heart but the truth is
It's painless
Letting your love show

Maybe truth, maybe lies
Made me want you
Maybe dumb, maybe wise...?
I don't know

Somebody's aching. Keeping it all in.
Somebody won't let go of his heart but the truth is
It's painless
Letting your love show

You don't know
Somebody's hurting. Holding it all in.
Somebody can't let go of his heart but the truth is
It's painless
Letting your love show

Love show
Letting your love show



---- as sung by Skye

Three Track Party

:)

I haven't had this much fun in quite a while.

Five of us gathered Friday night in the party room of S's house, a friend of SQ's. Besides those guys and me, SQ's roomie (D) and S's friend (K) were there, too. Other than me, ages ranged from roughly mid-twenties to mid-thirties. But the musical tastes ranged further -
a *lot* further.

We listened to everything from rap to folk, classical to jazz. Obscurities from Bowie, The Doors, Jackie Wilson, and the Doobie Brothers. Classics from Vic Damone, Django Reinhart, Joni Mitchell and Beethoven. Plus modern stuff like The Postal Service and Sufjan Stevens, too. SQ even schlepped in his turntable so we could hear some tracks (like Damone) that he only had on vinyl.

The format was one track per person per round, in a sequence at least partly determined by rock/paper/scissors. You could either preface the track or follow it with comments. Some people told personal stories about why the song was meaningful, or suggested listening for this or that in the music. At some level, you connected the music to the person offering it.

K, the only female, was skeptical at first, and thought she might leave early, but after one round of music decided to stay. She was supposed to go out on a first date with some guy later that night, but she enjoyed it so much that she texted him to cancel. We toasted her good judgement with Leinie's and Red Stripe. ;)

But, girls, the secret's been revealed. :P We watched it happen. Now we all know that what we've always suspected is true - that what the girl says was the reason she couldn't make it... probably isn't.

"Car breakdown" was certainly easier to tell him than that she preferred sharing her appreciation of music with four men over beer, to drinking tea with only one. And a text message easily avoided the embarrassment of the sound of loud male voices and clinking glasses.

So naturally each of the guys began going back and rethinking every time that a girl told us that "something came up." Um, yeah. Right. It was really probably a better offer from another guy. Or for that matter... four guys.

Ah well. Another innocent male illusion shot to pieces...

But back to the evening. Round two was followed by champagne from SQ's recent wedding music gig, round three by sambuca from yours truly (with 3 coffee beans and served flambeau!)



When the three rounds were officially over, Dr. McGillicudy's Peppermint Schnapps followed, along with the playing of several "unofficial" tracks that did not make the souvenir party CD burned by the host on the spot.

The talk ranged as far as the music, from movies to relationships, from cars to families, from bands to careers. Wonderful stuff.

What a great time. This we will definitely do again. And despite the refreshments and the lateness of the hour returning home (2:30AM?!?) I recovered well enough to nearly break the 8 minute mark for the mile Saturday over lunch. Hm! No worse for wear, I guess.

Points of Inflection

... in a relationship?

Yes. Relationships (especially committed ones) are like mathematical functions. This is my thesis. See if you agree.

(Stay with me now, this may get obscure.)

I've been doing a little math tutoring at the college level the last few weeks, plus D was ooohing this week over her new graphing calculator for college algebra, so when the conversation over dinner drifted into polynomials of various degrees it wasn't too surprising. Geeky, maybe, but not surprising. It's always been that kind of relationship. :P

We then went over the relation between the degree of a polynomial function and the number of bends the curve of it makes on a graph. The relationship is:

Highest exponent = Degree of polynomial. The curve has (Degree - 1) points of inflection.

The point of inflection is where the curve bends and heads in another direction (related to the first, yes, still connected to the curve, yes, but different in direction and shape.)

A straight line is of the form Y = aX + b where a is the slope and b the Y-intercept (which is the value of X at which the line crosses the Y axis), hence what's known as the "slope-intercept" form. Slope is rise/run, or how many units of Y you get for every additional X unit. So Y = 2X + 3 looks like this:



Okay, so with that as background, every time you multiply that function by an additional X term, you get a different looking graph. Suppose you multiply the original function by another X. Then you get Y = 2X^2 + 3X (the X^2 is pronounced x-squared), which looks like:



Oooh. It bends! Now it's no longer a line, but a curve. And the place where it bends is the point of inflection, the point where the line changes direction.

Now, if you do that again, this time, say, by multiplying 2X^2 + 3X times (x - 1), and then do something else to it, too (like subtract 1), you get this: Y = 2X^3 + x^2 - 3x - 1, which looks like:




















Hey! It bends twice now. Funky looking thing. Notice that the highest exponent is 3 (from the first term which contains X to the 3rd power, or X-cubed.) So the degree of the function is 3, and it bends (3 - 1) or 2 times.

So that's the deal. The higher the order of the function, the greater the degree of the polynomial, the more points of inflection it has and the more times it changes direction.

***********

So? So what's my point?

We're clearing the supper dishes, and I'm finishing up this little discourse and D says. "Points of inflection. You mean like we have in our relationship." And I laugh. Ha. Hahaha. But then...

Bing! (the lightbulb goes on...)

Hey. I think you have something there.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think it's true. Relationships are like that. They can get more complex over time (or not. Some stay simple like straight lines.)

But I think there are often major life events that can function like a new factor that affects the curve of your relationship, like multiplying by (X-1) or something. And then, as you recalculate...

your relationship takes a turn. It becomes a higher-order equation, a function of a greater degree of complexity. It's related to the one before it, but... it's changed into something more complex, less straightforward, harder to describe.

And I suppose it happens the other way, too - you can divide by a "factor", and ... move to something simpler, easier to deal with and display. Different life events affect a relationship in different ways.

And this last year had a few life events for me. They affected my relationships. Some got more complex, and some got simpler. Some grew in degree, some shrank. Some just shifted left or right, up or down on the graph, as if you just multiplied by or added a number, but not another X, another variable.

How can this happen in a relationship? A change point, a tipping point, a point at which the relationship changes to one of another degree? Obviously a loss of job, losing a loved one, making a career change, going back to school, leaving home or moving back, or just saying goodbye...

all those things can affect a relationship.

But so can little things which may bring profound insights. Here's an example of something simple - but profound - for this couple. It's 8 minutes, but worth watching. (especially if you lasted this long!) ;)

Anyway, what do you think? Do relationships have points of inflection? Points at which they curve and go in a new direction? Changes in their level of complexity (greater or lesser)?

The X's and Y's make me think of men and women mostly, and how relationships are like functions. You do something to X... and there's a resulting change in Y. Or vice versa. When one person changes, the other one feels it... and adapts.

Makes sense to me. But then, I do math for a living. And occasionally - just for grins. :)

Music Reviews: Beck, Talib Kweli, Lupe Fiasco, Duffy, Jimmy Eat World

A mixed bag here, for sure. And soon, with a trip to KC coming up next week, another batch of odds and ends to come.

But before I dive into the material, I have to say... Sesame Street is getting so modern. :) Feist helps with counting in this video clip of her hit song 1-2-3-4. Aww..

Beck - "Odelay", "Guero": Well, the music world is just a-buzzing over his new release, "Modern Guilt", and so I downloaded the free track "Chemtrails" to see what the buzz was about. Hmpf. I don't know... sort of the same kind of obliqueness, rough edges, and afterthought-ish vocals that you might expect from the Flaming Lips or Radiohead. But then, I guess if you really like them, you'd probably really like this track, too. ;)

This was my first exposure to Beck, and what can you tell from one track? So upon further exploration of a couple of other albums, and a single or two, did my first impression change? Hmpf. I don't know... not much, I guess. Even going way back to his first big hit in 1991, "Loser", it's kind of the same thing. Obliquely quirky. Vocals not a real priority. Edgy, grating. And now, in between, what about the two CDs presently up for review?

Boy, the critics sure went nuts for Odelay, and loved Guero, too. Hmpf. I don't know... don't all critics (whether in art, film, music, literature) normally look for the new, the different, the groundbreaking, regardless of the quality of the skill exhibited or the value of the content? I think so. Mostly. *This* particular reviewer simply looks for what he wants to listen to more than once. :)

And in the case of Beck, that would be these tracks (and only these): Missing (my favorite), Go It Alone, Girl, Where It's At, Ramshackle, Send a Message to Her. You diehard Beck fans out there can enjoy the rest over and over. :)

Talib Kweli - "Eardrum": Yikes! Mommy used to always say "if you can't say something nice..." so I think we'll just leave it at that. Thanks for offering, but... I'll pass. Yikes!

Lupe Fiasco - "The Cool", "Food & Liquor": Now, that's more like it. :) If I'm going to listen to rap or hip-hop (which I, um.. won't very much), I might as well listen to some that's more melodic. On "The Cool", this guy lays smooth vocals over top of his flow, which makes the flow a *lot* easier to take, yo. What! ;)

And he's not so angry, either. Yes, there's still the references to N's and B's, P's & H's, but for the most part he's pretty positive, even about the low points of life. Better than the usual fare from this genre.

From "The Cool", I particularly liked: Fighters, Superstar, Go Baby, Streets on Fire, Paris Tokyo, Go Go Gadget Flow. From "Food & Liquor", check out American Terrorist, The Emperor's Soundtrack, The Cool, Daydreamin', Sunshine, He Say She Say, Kick Push. I'd skip the intro and 12+ minute (!) outro.

Duffy - "Rockferry": Borrowed this CD from J2 (who I think borrowed it from his gf?) and had never heard anything by this girl before, just seen the hype on iTunes about her. The very first song is the title track, and I thought for a second I was listening to Dusty Springfield. :)

Her voice is a real throwback to the days of white patent leather thigh high go-go boots and miniskirts. Those were, um... good days, man. ;) There was American Bandstand, Hullabaloo, Dance Party and Soul Train on TV (in glorious black & white) Saturdays from about 11AM until sports came on at 2. It was groooovy, baby.

Just like that pop organ sound she uses on "Mercy". I used to play one of those things in the bands I was in at age 14. We would play for junior high dances, stuff like "Gloria" by The Doors (or Hendrix, or The Grateful Dead, or Ted Nugent, or Van Morrison; whichever version you like - it's still the same three chords :P), and House Of The Rising Sun by the Animals. A little burnt orange Farfisa organ. It was so far out..

Sorry for that little flashback there. I still get those from time to time. :P So, it's not a rough-edged blue-eyed soul album like Joss Stone or Amy Winehouse, this one is pretty laid back 60's-70's sounding, with a lot of ballads. I liked: Serious, Syrup & Honey, Hanging On Too Long, Mercy, Distant Dreamer. Kinda sweet.

Jimmy Eat World - "Futures", "Bleed American": In honor of my coughing up my ticket last week to their sold-out show, so that his friend S could go with him, J2 in return coughed up his other two CDs of these guys. Rummaging in the piles, it was not unlike the process of a cat bringing up a hair-ball, but.. he found them. ;)

And, they're good. I really like their harmonies. The lyrics are emo, but the playing is more power pop. And they sure can play! But I think I like their ballads best. Favorites: from "Bleed American", The Middle, Your House, Hear You Me, If You Don't Don't, Cautioners, My Sundown. From "Futures", the title track, plus Kill, The World You Love, Pain, Drugs or Me, Polaris, 23.

Oh, and one last thing. Amazon is hooking me with their daily deals on .mp3 album downloads. Just Sunday for $3.99 I picked up Eric Clapton "Unplugged" from 1992 (same year as Beck's first CD. hm..) - and it's great! :) Sometimes they have new stuff, sometimes old gems, but it's always worth looking at.

Golf with the kid (and other fun stuff)

What a nice weekend.

First a movie night at home Friday night (Legal Eagles; Redford & Winger; fluffy stuff but good couch potato fare.)

Then the 5K run Saturday morning, which went a lot better than I expected. :) You read about that already, so I won't rehash my euphoria at finishing well. :P

Then an outdoor wedding in Stillwater in the afternoon, & evening indoors for the reception/dinner.



What a picturesque place. And a gorgeous day.



This pergola at the entrance to the wedding site prompted a good discussion for D and me about what we might put up around the grapevines next Spring. Maybe if we string wire between the posts so that the vines become the sides of the arbor... Hmm.



And weddings are so happy and fun! I always love the part with "I, Laura, take you, Jordan...". I haven't yet heard a bride speak in anything above a whisper at that point. It is so very intimate, and yet so public. The whisper somehow maintains the illusion of privacy for the couple, I think. :)

And then the minister says "...I pronounce you...", and shortly thereafter "...I present to you... ", and I haven't yet seen a groom walk down that aisle without "the look" on his face - you know, the smiling one where his eyes are saying "what the heck did I just do...??"

We're at the age now where the kids are going to (and standing up in) the weddings of their friends, and the parents...



are going to the weddings of their friends' kids (and waxing philosophical about them at the receptions.) Wine helps with that last part. ;)

So that was all fine and great, but it got me to thinking about some weddings yet to come, which I'm sure I'll have mixed feelings over when the time comes. You know, definitely happy, but... yeah. Kinda mixed.

Anyway, back to the weekend - worship team Sunday morning, feeling like God was there and lending an unseen hand with the vocals and harmonies (at least with mine...), and then golf in the afternoon with J2. Haven't done *that* in a couple of years. :) And we didn't have too bad a day, either, for such a long layoff and both of us hitting out of one bag (which was missing a couple of clubs.)

Another gorgeous day Sunday, too; but super windy. And the little course we played turned out to be tougher than we thought. Water, water, everywhere, and - of course - we both found it. But to go down the last fairway with the match all square (in holes and strokes) - that was fun. :) The Miller Chill and the Diet Mountain Dew tasted pretty good, too. (guess who had which? yeah, you think so? guess again.)

Finally the evening was spent making more progress on my summer reading, while listening to (and reviewing) some new music, all with one eye open to see what else of interest the internet might pop up while I was there... ahhh. So nice. :)

More weekends like this one, please?

Geek-speak

The CB2 catalog came in the mail Friday. I love their stuff. And I guess green and orange is still a hip color combination. I'm glad. :)

Also got a copy of my professional journal last week, and thumbed through the articles to see what the technocrats in my society were pushing as being hot research these days.

Ooof.

Here's a sampling:

"Interval Estimation of the Credibility Factor"

"The Bornhuetter-Ferguson Principle"

"Two Approaches to Calculating Correlated Reserve Indications Across Multiple Lines of Business"

"Models of Insurance Claim Counts with Time Dependence Based on Generalization of Poisson and Negative Binomial Distributions"

Yum! Doesn't it make your mouth water just to think of these topics?

Especially the one about Poisson distributions. Poisson is French for fish, as fans of Disney's "The Little Mermaid" will recall, when the chef is in the kitchen chopping the heads off fish and singing:

Les Poissons! Les Poissons!
hee hee hee ah ha haa!
Weeth ze cleeverrr I hack zem in two.
I pull out what's inside
And I serve eet up fried
'Cause I love leettle feeshes, don't you?

Mai oui, mon ami. Zat I do.

Poisson is pronounced pwa-sohn, but the statistical distribution has nothing to do with fish. They named it after some French guy who's the one who made the thing up. That used to be good to know, back in the days when I was taking exams for this stuff, but it's in the category of useless trivia now. I prefer to think about grilling salmon and the Little Mermaid. :P

So yes, I actually read a couple articles, and yes, understood them. Mostly.

One of them actually has application to a project I'm working on. Imagine that. It actually pays to read this stuff. Hm!

Or maybe I should say... "ah ha haa!"

Give me 5K or give me...

(... don't finish that, please.)

I'm still alive!

And feeling super. :)

The storm blew through last night - hard. And this morning dawned cloudy and cool with a little breeze.



Perfect. 67 or so at race time, sun was muted and the lake was rippling just a little.



Registration was at 7, starting gun at 8. I got there about 7:15, and the parking lot was fairly empty near the starting line.



It filled up later.



Big turnout. The event poster makes it look like a smaller event than it was. There were loads of people registering behind me,



and as it was, I was given number 100 to wear.



(Nice number. No fives, but.. at least it's a multiple of 5.)

It was crowded at the start. Had to start off slower than I wanted, but it thinned out nicely by the first half-mile and I could run as I liked.


And the music in my iPod Shuffle was ideal!

Thanks to the Propellerheads and Doobie Brothers, I turned the first 1.5 in 13:10, a great time for me, and was able to skip ahead through most of the Pogues. (Sorry, fellas. Nothing personal.)

And even with shortening that, the "kick" music at the end wasn't entirely needed, either. When I rounded the last bend and saw the race clock read 29:07, I didn't need any help to turn it up a notch. :)

Besides, I was determined to finish ahead of those two slender college girls that I had been trading places with back and forth throughout the run. :P I thought: "Hey, if I can do this... so can you, girlie. Get that thing moving!" ;)

So, though I don't know my official time yet (photos and times will get posted on the web later), I do know it's roughly 30 sec. under my 30 minute goal. I'm still so excited. :D

Got the obligatory t-shirt from the race.



And a flyer for another race next Saturday, this time a benefit for inner-city kids. Hmm... Let me check my calendar...

Maybe I'm actually starting to like running. God help me - I must be really losing it.

All Wrapped Up

Had my last session with Dr. Shrink-wrap. :)

The last planned one, anyway.

He offered "booster shot" sessions if I feel I need them sometime. Like when I ... oh, never mind. ;)

So we talked through the process of doing a periodic self-evaluation, a sort of "taking stock" of how I'm doing on the major areas we worked on together. I have a mental checklist of about a half dozen topics that he suggested I review roughly once a month to see how I'm doing.

I'll spare you the boring details. The point is, I've learned to catch myself thinking wrongly. I've learned the key areas in which I do that, how I view myself, and mostly why. I've learned how to stand outside myself a bit and assess the machinations of my emotions and thoughts.

Now, I need to continue to apply what I've learned and ask myself regularly how it's going. One Sunday afternoon a month ought to do it. Starting maybe... mid-August. There's a few events between now and then that I'll be able to look back on and check my reactions to things. :)

So, the "taking stock" sessions go in the calendar through 2009. That's long enough for now.

He was really helpful; but it feels good to be done. And better. :)

memories

.


images recalled
triggered by a sound or smell
feelings surfacing


.

Music Reviews: Bob Marley, Hjálmar, Michael Franti, Sam Sparro

This is sort of "music reviews: reggae edition". :)

Hjálmar - "Hljóðlega Af Stað": Um... yeah. Whatever that means. It's Icelandic reggae, so you go figure. Brings back memories of my visit there (nearly two years ago now!) In fact I vaguely remember seeing this title in a record shop in downtown Reykjavik, and wondering if anyone I knew would like it. ;)

The beats and style are definitely reggae, though the vocals could be stronger. And as far as what philosophy they're communicating... who knows? I assume it's rasta-friendly. :) All tracks made the studying playlist, since the lyrics won't engage my otherwise-occupied brain. Favorites: Borgin, Bréfið, Hljóðlega Af Stað, Svarið (ha - I just picked some of these because I love the little ð character...)

Next I think I'll review some of the master of the genre. Old Bob Marley his own self.

Bob Marley & The Wailers - "Exodus", "Burnin'": These two album are from 1977 and 1973, respectively. But they are the standard against which all other reggae is measured, and the influence that still ripples through the entire genre. You know.. one love; peace out. All that.

Maybe the horns on these arrangements aren't as prevalent today, the tempos aren't quite as laid back now, and perhaps the bass is a little less forward in modern reggae than in these recordings, but the rest is there. Marley's understated and easy lead vocal does the call and response with the choral-sounding backup vocals, in what feels sometimes like the 1970's funky soul gospel of Andre' Crouch & The Disciples, just... with a different agenda for how to achieve love, peace and harmony. :)

Favorites: from Exodus - One Love/People Get Ready, Natural Mystic, So Much Things To Say, Three Little Birds, Turn Your Lights Down Low (mmhmm.) From Burnin' - NOT "I Shot The Sheriff." I like Clapton's version much better. :) But I did like Duppy Conqueror, No Sympathy, Get Up Stand Up, One Foundation, Pass It On, Put It On.

Michael Franti and Spearhead - "Yell Fire!": I'm not sure what you'd call this guy's music. iTunes says "world" in one place and "hip-hop" in another. A lot of it sounds like reggae to me. And, listening to the lyrics, it is clearly motivated by a certain worldview, as reggae can often be.

But the dude can also just plain sing (exs: I Know I'm Not Alone, See You In The Light, Is Love Enough - the first two being pretty decent pop songs, the third more of a folk/rock lament.) Favorites: the aforementioned tracks plus One Step Closer To You, Sweet Little Lies. Nice CD.

Sam Sparro - "Sam Sparro": Debut CD in America from a UK artist. Okay, this is not reggae, but modern versions of old-school beats, a'la Gnarls Barkley. Cool. (Speaking of Gnarls, I need to get my hands on his newest: "Odd Couple" - c'mon library, hurry it up!) Like Barkley, Sparro has a great voice and is backed by techno, funk, DJ, soul... really good stuff, and fun. :) Favorites: Black and Gold, 21st Century Life, Still Hungry, Too Many Questions, Waiting For Time, Pocket, Sally, Cut Me Loose.

Oooh, and I just happened to see that Imogen Heap has a new single out on iTunes. ;) It's good, too. Very much her usual style, with lyrics that you can apply to more than one kind of situation. You apply them your way... I'll apply them mine. :P

So does that mean a new CD from her is coming? Hope so. She's due. :)

Final Tune Up

Today was my last run before the 5K this weekend. I'm following the advice of my friend SQ (who ran a half-marathon in May, so he knows the topic.) I've proven to myself now that I can actually go the distance, so don't need to tire myself out in getting ready, and will have 2 full days of layoff now before Saturday morning dawns.

I wonder if I'll be running in the rain. It's nice today but will get hot and sticky by Friday and a storm will go through Friday night. Maybe.. I keep thinking that the weather here behaves like Milwaukee, where things stall at the Lake, and you never know when it will move on. But I think here the weather systems do move though sort of on time. So we'll see..

Anyway, I only ran a mile and a half today, but at a good pace. If only I could simply double that pace, I'd be golden on Saturday! :) But, yeah.. I'd need some really pumped up music on the iPod Shuffle to push me along like that on the *second* mile and a half. ;)

I did settle on the final set list for the run, though:

Mile 1:
On Her Majesty's Secret Service; Propellerheads; 9:23 (I'll want to pass the mile marker before the last chorus..)


Next half-mile:
Dangerous; Doobie Brothers; 5:03 (this should easily get me to 1.5 on time. I love this tune. It rawks, dude. :P)


Next mile:

(These are all at a good sustainable pace through a section of the distance where all I want to do is quit!)

Una Mas Cerveza; Texas Tornados; 2:40
Luck Be A Lady; Frank Sinatra; 5:16
Bright Lights; The Pogues; 2:33 (I'd love to just skip past this one if I can hit the 2.5 mark while still listening to Frank.)


Final Stretch:
Shine; Frank Vignola's Hot Club USA; 4:07
Hot Pot Boogie; Indigo Swing; 3:04

(Both are way too fast to match my stride to the beat, but... they make me happy. And if I'm happy, I run faster.)



I've been keeping track of my runs since the doctor scolded me at Christmas. So I discovered today that since Jan. 17, I've run over 100 miles. Wow. The old guy hisself. I would never have thought it possible even 3 years ago. Now I actually think that a 5K race is do-able. Man, oh man. I must be nuts.

OK. I think I'm ready.

Giving up my bar stool

Had plans for last night to go see Jimmy Eat World at First Avenue with J2. I was sort of amped up for it, but then a better opportunity presented itself: cough up my ticket to let a friend of his go with him. :)

He doesn't have a ton of people here he knows, given that he's never really lived here. So he has this one good friend from here who he knew back in high school, S, who has made him feel welcome. They were having breakfast yesterday morning at a cinnamon roll place in Uptown (went there Saturday with the grandparents ... mmm), and it occurred to me:

"Hey, doofus - he will have a way better time with S, standing down in the pit, pressed body-to-body with total strangers, than he will with you sitting on a barstool on the second floor. So give it up, old man. Let the boy have some fun."

So while they were still there, I texted him and offered up the ticket. It was the Dad thing to do. :)

But we agreed that for the She & Him concert there on August 7 (Zooey Deschanel and some random guy... guess who I'm going there to see?), we will definitely go together, and do the barstool thing upstairs. It'll be more that kind of show, anyway.

They had a blast last night, so - happy 21st birthday yet again, kid. :)

How long a wait?

The sermon yesterday was on Luke 18:8 - where Jesus says "When I return, will I find persistent faith on the earth?"

The pastor was going in a different direction with his message than my mind was. :) He wanted to talk about persistency of faith. While he was talking I wound up thinking about how my view of the Second Coming of Christ has changed over time.

I used to think that Jesus' return was imminent - "at any moment." And in light of that, as good evangelicals, we needed to be "rapture ready." (Ha - I remember from my year at Oral Roberts U., a guy on my dorm wing demonstrated how his church back home would have "rapture practice" - hopping up and down with his arms in the air - it was hilarious.) Back then, and for 30 more years, I believed Christ would return in my lifetime.

But for the last 2-3 years I've been thinking that I will be long dead, and forgotten by the generations ahead, by the time Jesus returns to take His church home. There's no doctrinal support that I can find for an imminent return at any moment. And there don't seem to be any signs pointing to that return in this generation any more than in the last one (which is also a change in view for me - I'm not setting my prophetic clock by the state of Israel anymore.) I've pretty much given up on seeing Jesus' return first hand. :)

So in the first of the two views I've held there's lots of excitement and urgency, but not much of a motivation toward leaving a legacy for the generations to come after us.

In the second position, it's possible to have a long-term view of the kingdom of God coming on earth through the community of faith - a potential for the ongoing reconciliation of creation to Creator via the work of God in us. But there's little urgency to it. We've got lots of time... if we don't get to it, our children will.

I guess neither position I've held is quite right. Jesus uses a lot of His parables to teach a persistency of faith (hmm - just what the pastor was originally trying to say...) during what seems to be a really long wait for His return. There is a need for faith that is "a long obedience in the same direction", a need to take a long-term view of God's reconciling work on the earth.

But there's also a need to live as if today were my last, that the next breath I draw may take me directly into His presence where my deeds will be evaluated for what was done for God's Kingdom (and what was done for self.)

I'm not crazy about living in that tension. It's more complicated that way. And I'm not real good at it. But then, God's call is never simple, and living it never easy.

Take nothing for granted

Oh, how sweet the light of day,
And how wonderful to live in the sunshine!
Even if you live a long time, don't take a single day for granted.
Take delight in each light-filled hour,
Remembering that there will also be many dark days
And that most of what comes your way is meaningless.

You who are young, make the most of your youth.
Relish your youthful vigor.
Follow the impulses of your heart.
If something looks good to you, pursue it.
But know also that not just anything goes;
You have to answer to God for every last bit of it.


----- Eccl. 11:7-9

confession

.


dropping all pretense
admitting to God your need
being reconciled


.


what stands between you and Grace?

Music Reviews: Marvin Gaye, E!, Cloud Cult, Sia

In this edition, a couple of older discs as well as a couple from within the last year.

Marvin Gaye - "Here, My Dear": This is an oldie from 1978. I've never been a real Marvin Gaye fan, but this album is so different from his usual stuff. It's full of heartbreak and loss and grief over a messy divorce. He sounds like a completely different artist, dark-mooded and tired. Yes, it's still R&B/Soul, with some of the funk/jazz feel of that day. But his mind is clearly not on pop entertainment. Favorites: Is That Enough?, Everybody Needs Love, Sparrow.

E! - "A Man Called (E)": Mark Oliver Everett in 1992 before he became The Eels. Though still full of romantic melancholy (is it any wonder I'm a fan?) this is a fuller, lusher sound than his more spare and bleak later work. There are a lot more vocal overdubs here, and some stylistic nods to Beatles, Eagles and Beach Boys ballads. Plus the cover/CD booklet is cool. Favorites: Are You and Me Ever Gonna Happen, Looking Out The Window With a Blue Hat On, Nowheresville, Pray, You'll Be The Scarecrow, E!'s Tune.

Cloud Cult - "The Meaning of 8": They were one of the bands at the Rock the Garden event last month. I was pleasantly surprised by them. Yes, they were a little peculiar on some songs. I expected that from their promo material (and from a goofy e-zine/blog which features them sometimes.) But many of their songs were very approachable, too. I especially fell for "Pretty Voice" (lyrics in an earlier post), and decided to pick up the CD that one was on. Odd theme, this - sort of meditations on the mystical number 8. But it was a pretty good bargain at $10 for 19 songs. :)

The vocals could be stronger - from time to time they sound a little nasal and flimsy, but that may be purposeful, since on Pretty Voice they do just fine. The overall sound is primarily electronic, even when they bring in the strings (which they played on stage, it's not just studio stuff.) They do another interesting thing on stage. They have two professional painters creating artwork during the concerts, which they auction off after the show. Cool. Favorites: Pretty Voice, Chain Reaction, Chemicals Collide, Brain Gateway, 2x2x2, Hope.

Sia - "Some People Have Real Problems": You may know her from "Breathe Me" (lyrics just posted), a song from 2005 that still gets a lot of airplay. On this new album her sound seems to be maturing, as is her song selection. Several tracks are intense in lyric and arrangement, although her voice isn't really capable of being jarring in the way that PJ Harvey or Beth Orton can be.

She's cut more from the cloth of Feist, Imogen Heap, Emiliana Torrini. Sia will always be appealing to listen to and approachable even when she *tries* to be edgy or quirky. ;) Favorites: Lentil (in 3/4 time), You Have Been Loved, Academia (duet with Beck), I Go To Sleep, Death by Chocolate, Beautiful Calm Driving, Lullaby. Solid tracks all. Really, really good CD. I could listen to this one over and over.

E! Lyrics

Pray

never much of a hopeful man
nothing good to see
but i couldn't help it
when i saw her
i had to know if...

she don't know where to go
she don't know how to stay
but she don't know how good i can be
or how much i can pray
i pray

and soon i know her a little more
she's everything i dreamed
but still i wonder what it would be like
if she left me...

she don't know where to go
she don't know how to stay
but she don't know how good i can be
or how much i still pray
i pray

there must be something that's following her
that keeps her from this state
there must be something that make me want to...

pray
pray
i pray

she says she's all right but she's not sure
and i'm not sure what that means
she says she's all right but she needs some help...

i don't know how
i don't know how
i don't know how


----- E!




You'll Be The Scarecrow

one day i'll have to fly
to the next great unknown
one day i'll be outta here
back on my own
and when i come around for my goodbye

you'll be the scarecrow
you'll be the scarecrow
the one i adore
the one i'll carry with me forever more

you were the special one
something we shared
the one that i miss the most
the one who cared
so when i come around for my goodbye

you'll be the scarecrow
you'll be the scarecrow
the one i adore
the one i'll carry with me forever more

there may not be a day
for a due reunion
there may not be a day
for us

one day you'll look and see
a purple sunset
and then you'll know that i'm ok
i'm doing my best

and when i come around for my goodbye
you'll be the scarecrow
you'll be the scarecrow
the one i adore
you'll be the scarecrow
the one i miss most

and when i come around for my goodbye
you'll be the scarecrow


----- E!

Breathe Me

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me



----- Sia

Going the (5K) distance

Made it. :)

Not all running, but... out of 43 laps around the track (3.1 miles), only 5 laps were a brisk walk. Just enough to catch my breath.

And even with that, I was just 36 seconds above my time goal. So... if I don't overdo it and get all sore, I probably have 3 more workouts left to get that time down, and run the whole distance.

As incentive to pick up the pace, I am picking about 30 minutes' worth of good running songs to put on my iPod Shuffle, including one by Sinatra that is just the perfect tempo to keep me going at about the 2 mile mark, and a great closer by the Pogues to help me find a little extra at the finish line. Here's the tentative song list (subject to revision after the next practice run):

Song/Band/Album/Time

Hot Pot Boogie/Indigo Swing/Red Light/3:04
On Her Majesty's Secret Service/ Propellerheads/Decksanddrumsandrockandroll/9:23
Shine/Frank Vignola's Hot Club USA/Django Lives/4:07
Whadaya Want?/Casey MacGill & The Spirits Of Rhythm/Jump/3:17
Luck Be a Lady/Frank Sinatra/Sinatra Reprise/5:16
History Repeating/Propellerheads/Decksanddrumsandrockandroll/4:05
Bright Lights/The Pogues/Pogue Mahone/2:33

Wonder what number I'll get to wear in the race? Hope it's a lucky one... like #5 maybe. I like five. It was lucky for me in Vegas at the roulette wheel - my last $5 on #5 sent me home a winner.

So yeah, 5. Or 555. Or something. Five is just a really good number. ;)

(Especially for a 5K run...)

In Training

...for a 5K run. :)

I just signed up for one on 7/12. Now I *really* have to push myself so that I'm not embarrassed publicly. :P

It would be great if I could finish in under 30 minutes, but at this point.. I just want to finish, still running. :)

Should be nice (and fairly cool at 8AM), running around Como Lake, which is in a picturesque near-in neighborhood with quaint little Cape Cod homes ringing the small lake. Plus, at the adjoining zoo I can go ride the carousel afterwards and cool off. ;)

There's a $20 entry fee, but.. it's a charity event for a diabetes foundation, and that's a cause dear to my heart, given that my parents and siblings all had it, one actually dying from it. Besides that, I've just gotten off the medicine I used to take for it, and running (even though I still hate it) was a big reason why.

So.. 5K, here I come!

Can I run a distance I haven't finished yet? My friend SQ says "yeah, if you're already running 2.5 miles, then the rest is all mental." Right. Tell that to my legs.

I'm apprehensive... but excited! :)

Grapevines as a marker?

Readers of this blog will remember that a few weeks ago I planted grapevines, in hopes of making some wine from their fruit in a few years. I've made pretty decent wine from juice for a long time now, but never attempted the whole process from start to finish, taking it from plant to bottle.



Friday afternoon I went to check on them after a rain, and oh! they've grown. :) I actually caught myself talking to a couple of the plants and saying "Awww, well, look at youuuu! How *big* you've gotten!" :) Like they were new babies or something...



It's a long, slow process, growing grapes. It's three years before they even start to bear fruit, and a couple more after that before any wine made from them will be drinkable.

You have to protect the tender shoots until the trunk gets strong and tough, and carefully watch the leaves after that, because there are pests and diseases and herbivores and storms and droughts...

(do you see an analogy coming?) ;)

So it reminds me a bit of the long, slow process of changing thought patterns and behaviors, of making better choices, in the midst of living out life with its challenges day to day. It may take several years to get there, but one has to start somewhere...

A lot has happened in my life and in my relationships this Spring (April through June.) A lot.

I'm setting new directions, reinforcing relationships new and old, creating wonderful memories, making better choices, establishing healthier patterns of thought and behavior. But they may all take quite a while to come to maturity in a way that's visible, tangible and enjoyable to those around me. Just like wine from new vines.

Maybe I can look at these vines, as they mature and get big, get loaded with fruit, and then harvested and processed, and think... here's what I did in Spring of 2008. In my yard... and in my life. :)

Look. Smell. Taste.

It's good.