That's soooo random!

ohhhh, no, it's not!

It's not random, just... unexpected.

Driving back from the grocery store yesterday I was going over the notion of randomness (or rather, apparent randomness) in advance of my upcoming lecture Monday night on probability. And people use that phrase today "that was really random" to describe what is really something they just didn't expect. Randomness is a convenient mental construct we use to help us explain why things happen unpredictably, or perhaps in semi-predictable patterns. But the things that happen to us that we think about that way - aren't really random.

We live in a very deterministic universe. Cause produces effect. Precisely. The only reason things *appear* random to us is that we don't have perfect information about either the initial conditions, nor the actions of the forces coming to bear on those conditions. If we had perfect information on both... we could predict everything. But we don't, so we can predict... nothing.

Even the act of shuffling/dealing cards or flipping coins or rolling dice, which we all universally think of as random processes, are not random at all. The actions of our hands on the cards, coins or dice MAKE them do what they do (in cooperation with air pressure, temperature, weight, texture of surfaces, etc.) They are merely responding to those actions. If we could duplicate those initial conditions and those actions precisely, the outcome would be the same every time. But we can't, so it's not.

What we call randomness is really variation in initial conditions and actions of forces. Since we can't quantify the variation, we throw up our hands and say "it's random." But even the shuffle program in your iPod isn't random. It's a mathematical algorithm with enough built-in variation that will appear to produce a different order every time. But it isn't random; it's deterministic. Everything is.

Everything is deterministic. But not everything is expected.

Most things are unexpected. And some... are more unexpected than others. As Mark Twain once said about Adam, when you see the sun come up in the morning a few times in a row, you pretty much assume it will do that every day. :) And we get into a routine of expecting certain things to continue. Like your engine starting when you turn the key. Power being there when you flip a switch. Continued employment. Health. Friendship. Love.

When some things that we come to expect aren't there any more... we look for reasons. When something highly variable (like weather in New England, or a woman's mood.. oops, sorry) changes often, we don't think much about it and chalk it up to either inherent unpredictability or randomness (or plain old perversity) depending on our view of the world. But when a stable process changes suddenly, there has to be a reason! Like Tiger Woods misses the cut in a major! Something's wrong and needs fixing. The highly unexpected event throws us for a loop, forces us to reevaluate if things are really as stable and predictable as we thought.

The priest this morning used the example of the visitors from God sent to Abraham (under the terebinth tree at Mamre) to announce that he and Sarah would conceive. Which, by the way.. caused it to dawn on me that this is really the OT version of the Annunciation to Mary. Sarah just had a very different response to it. ;) Wonder why I never saw that before...

What a disruption that event caused! Life got very different for Abraham and Sarah after that. Unexpectedly so. The Gospel reading for the day described a similar unexpected experience for Martha when Jesus visited her (and Mary and Lazarus) and told her that, contrary to custom, women ought to stop serving so much and come sit and listen to the Teacher with the men. Also very unexpected.

The priest then went on to talk about how God uses the unexpected (which He has ordained to happen - deterministic, but unpredictable because we don't know His mind and will much of the time) to stir up our lives and make us reevaluate whether certain things we do and think are a pattern we should cling to... or abandon for something new (and scary.)

Job loss, health loss, loss of loved one, crisis of faith, you name it... God uses these things to stir the pot of soup we call life, and add new ingredients, in order to (I suppose..) make it better. That's where faith comes in, I guess. Trusting that He knows His way around our kitchen.. and is the Master Chef, better than we will ever be.

(sigh)

Yeah, yeah. I get it. I don't like it, but I get it. :)

Oh, and... I keep learning stuff. Today's mass was mostly from the same mass (and there is apparently more than one mass, varying mostly in style, not content) as the church used last week, something called the Mass of Angels and Saints, or some such? I like it. Lots of 3/4 time, good use of minor keys, simple and catchy melodies. Just... no harmony anywhere! Do Catholics not do harmony?

And I'm amazed at what's in their... do they use the word hymnal? Service book? Whatever it is.. the hardbound thing with all the songs in it. Lots of stuff by Wesley and revivalists, some by the old reformers (!) even. Ha - they actually used one called "Sing of the Lord's Goodness" that was in 5/4 time! I've never heard anything in church done in 5/4. I thought Dave Brubeck was at the piano! ;)

And oh... they used one of my very favorite melodies (the old Irish tune Shane), but with different words than I ever sang before. They called it "Lord of All Hopefulness", but I know it as "Be Thou My Vision", and couldn't help but sing to myself my favorite verses:

Riches I need not, nor man's empty praise
Thou mine inheritance, now and always
Thou and Thou only first in my heart
High king of heaven my treasure Thou art

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

And that pretty much did it for me. :) It was during the preparation of the gifts, and it didn't take long for the priest to get to the line in the Communion service that cuts me to the heart whenever I hear it. He adapts the Roman Centurion's words to Jesus: "Lord I am not worthy for you to come into my house; but just say the word and my servant shall be healed." He (and the congregation) personalizes it.. "I am not worthy to receive you.. but just say the word and I will be healed..", and that's when my cheeks get wet. I just.. can't help it. Such great grace and such infinite mercy. And ... toward such a one as I.

So undeserved, it almost seems like "God, that's so random of you! Why me of all people?"

And He says: it's not random, son, it's determined. Ordained.

But at the same time, so very very... unexpected. :)