Someone sure knows how to write

As long as we're on a love theme lately, I can't resist one more. The "Missed Connections" section of Craigslist makes for fascinating reading: funny, stupid, heartbreaking, optimistic. People can be so hopeful, and at the same time so forlorn...

Last week, some anonymous person out on Craigslist posted this lament for their lost love. Reading it over, it sounds like the author was the one who chose to leave. Now she is dealing with regret, and a subsequent broken relationship which was spoiled by the fond memories of this boy she pushed away (and who apparently, despite his heartbreak, stayed away.) It's poignant to say the least. And, man, can she ever write.



I am here, still drowning in the confusion that was left
when I was no longer standing in the shadows of your smile.
If ever I found the warmth of your embrace,
then it was the cold emptiness I was left holding
when you left my letters unanswered.
Forever burned into my memories,
remains the impish smile that charmed me
and the velvety voice that I longed to hear.

I have heard many stories of what happened to you,
and how you wept bitterly for me but still I never heard from you.
The long nights turned into weeks and then grew into months
with no idea why you never answered.

The day I left, I too wept bitter tears knowing
that you might just as easily forget me
and your heart would soon belong to another.
It happened. I heard she broke yours too.
How familiar those words were to me.
I remembered the way my fragile
world fell apart because of you too.
He never knew you, only of you.
The ghostly memories that lingered
in our unstable world were more than he cared to deal with.

And now, as I find myself sitting in the dark of my room
and staring out the window at the rain,
I know I've been lying to myself again.
I should be able to let you go,
something that should have happened a long time ago.
I should not have come back to this place
where the memories flood my senses at all the wrong times.
I have no place in your life,
and you couldn't possibly know this was me talking about you now
because you are supposed to be in love again
and you have a family too.

My life wandered into unfamiliar territory
to show me things I didn't really want to know.
Maybe it's just that time of year when I think of you,
and it's been so long. I know where to find you,
but you will not find me at your door.
I know life has not been easy for you,
and though I'm not really allowed to care anymore,
I have to admit to myself and no one else I still do.
All it takes for you to bring me to that place in time
where your life was supposed to be a part of mine,
is the familiar scent of something that is not really there.
But I'm stuck somewhere between trying to let you go,
and the memory that refuses to leave.

If you made the wish for me to never forget you, I guess it came true.
Now all I have is the fading memory
of my brown eyed angel in baby blue,
forever comparing everyone else to you.