Well, another trip to KC and back safely handled. :) Weather was not a factor in my drive down, or back, so it was as predictable and uneventful as usual.
Even the cop who stopped me by Owatonna was nice. Really, he had no specific complaint (and I gave him no cause for one), he just felt like cautioning me about the blowing snow outside of town. I think he was bored. ;)
And, other than the morning backaches from an uncomfortable mattress, the way too early meetings, and the 30 minutes from the hotel to the office... I can hardly complain (though I do seem to try.)
What really struck me was a combination of the self-focused tone of the meetings, getting news (by email) of people I know facing job cutbacks, and the same-old-same-old partisan wrangling in Washington about the stimulus package. It was a juxtaposition that worried me, and I think I need to air it out a bit. For my own sake.
I guess it's part of my ongoing frustration/disappointment with supporting myself by working for Corporate America. With the news being all about the stimulus package (both the dire need for it and the lack of bipartisan consensus in congress over it), with sidebar press releases from one large corporation after another announcing layoffs or forced furloughs, it was disheartening to spend another 3 days in meetings with people whose only thought was personal success via contributing to corporate success (i.e. a better bottom line).
In our discussions of planning for 2009, and how to achieve the corporate targets we'll be held to, not once - not once - did we discuss the welfare of the customer. The only individuals whose welfare we discussed were the people in the room. How can WE succeed? If WE can bring in what the company wants, they will be happy and WE will be better off. The customer? The injured worker whose claim we will handle? Not relevant to our discussions except in a tangential way.
There were points in the conversation where I simply wanted to walk out in protest. Maybe my idealism was showing itself again.. at least it was under the surface. I've learned not to voice it, if I want to be seen as a "team player". And so I feel hypocritical, not being willing to practice my convictions.
And then, I read the emails I've gotten with news about layoffs that have reached old friends, of forced retirements and buyouts. And my hypocrisy takes a back seat to my desire to NOT go back to being unemployed again. At least not while I have bills to pay, for myself and for others. Which is the position I'll be in for several more years.
But, I did come to a decision today, driving home from KC. A long trip like that is good for hashing out ideas. I think it's time I set myself a target date for graduation from Seminary. And I have a plan now, a stake in the ground, a finish line in sight. May of 2012. :)
I can do it. And God willing, I will do it. Until then I will not be thumbing my nose at Corporate America. Later, maybe. When I stop fearing the consequences of living my ideals. ;)
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To live and die by one's ideals is a glorious thing. But perhaps a luxury afforded only to the truly fearless and the very young who have not been tempered by reality's cruel hand.
Sometimes life IS about compromise.
In order to go to seminary, one must be able to pay for it, somehow, and perhaps God wants you, while working for the man (to pay for the inevitabilities of life), to be a witness to those in the corporate world by treating others as Jesus would if He had to literally suit up.
To whom much has been given, much will be required. This is much very a witnessing opportunity and holing up in the ivory tower of I'm-better-than-you is never a convincing example of Christianity as it truly should be.
Consider it a privilege that you even have a job (to gripe about) while so many do not.
This is not to excuse corporate hypocrisy, but there's hypocrisy everywhere, even and especially in the Church. But as Jesus also said, let he who has no sin cast the first stone.
I think somewhere we think that we were told that happiness is a right, not a privilege, that we DESERVE to be happy. We were created in God's image and we should be thankful for what He has endowed us with, but He never ever promised sunshine and skittles EVERY day that we walk His earth.
He delights in us and we should delight ourselves in Him, but that's not to be confused with a free pass to Happy Feleings All the Time Town.
Hey, at least "at home" you can blow off some steam. But don't forget to be grateful. :) I look forward to seeing you accept that diploma tiger. Love ya, J1
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