It's official

I'm now a member of the old guy club.   :(

Dang it!  I knew this would happen sometime, but it sure snuck up on me unawares.

Here I am in the locker room after my run yesterday, sitting in front of the fan, drinking a diet coke and dripping sweat, and this white-haired guy with a huuuuuge belly slowly waddles in from the pool.   

(You know the kind of belly I mean, right?  It's big enough to be separately introduced...)

Besides the belly, he's sporting a pretty snappy transportation assistance device, too - "a combination walker & workout gear caddy", he says, as he fishes his gym bag out from an open compartment between the wheels. 

(Actually, it looked suspiciously like a large infant stroller, but who am I to undermine an old guy's manhood?)

So with a big sigh, he plunks his ample butt down on a bench nearby, and a conversation ensues:



You look kinda worn out there.

Yep, three miles'll do that to ya. To me, anyway...

Hoh!  I guess it would.
They say it's good for you.

Yeah, I think they're right. I do feel better. 

Except when I'm actually doing the running part.

Ha. Yeah. That's why I don't run. 

That and my two knee replacements.

Two!

Yeah.  See these scars? And that bump? 

It's a piece of my hip that they had to transplant. 

Don't ask me why - never figured that one out.

Hm. How about that...

They're guaranteed for 25 years each, the doc said.

Like I'm going to live that long.

Yeah, imagine what you could do with all that extra time.  

Provided you could find something useful to do, that is.  

Personally, I'm hard pressed to find something useful 

to do right now, much less 25 years from now. 

 

A'yup, that's the trick, ain't it?

My surgeon was a runner, and he said after he replaced these two babies for me, that I oughtta take it up myself, having fresh knees and all. Somehow, I never felt like it. 

(grins and pats his massive belly proudly..)

Hm. I guess I'm just glad I can run at all. 

Just had knee surgery last month myself. 

Only arthroscopic, so just these little puncture marks here, see?  

And just like the surgeon said, after four weeks, 

here I am back running again.  Oh boy, huh?

I suppose so. It'd be nice if a fella could enjoy working out, you know?

Yeah, I know. That'd be nice.

Well.. I think I'm cooled off now. See ya around.

Yup.  Oh hey?  Turn that fan off on your way out, would ya?  

I haven't worked up a sweat like you.

Oh, okay.  Sure.  So long then.

And as I walked out I realized... oh no. I've crossed over.

.

old guys at the gym

talk about their surgeries

senior bragging rights

.

First there was the AARP direct mail solicitation, now this.  Yikes!  What's next, 25 cent coffee at McDonald's?  Meals on wheels?  

For now, though, I think I'll hold off on buying a stroll.. oops, sorry, I mean the custom walker-and-workout-gear-caddy combo. 

I think I'll wait until after I've walked around the Swiss Alps in April and run a 10K right here in May.   Then maybe.  ;)