Monday, August 20, 2007

A debtor to grace

We sang "Come Thou Fount" Sunday morning. Best part of the service.

The verse of that hymn that always grips me is this:

O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.

Even with a heart that's prone to wander from God, and wander from people I love, somehow God's grace overcomes that wanderlust, that tendency to drift. It redeems bad circumstances and even bad choices to produce good in and though me.

Some of you must get tired of hearing me bemoan my shortcomings and failings. It must seem to you that I dwell on them to the point where I begin to wear them like battle scars, badges of honor.

That's not it, really. It's just that the list of faults is so very long and pervasive, it's overwhelming to me on almost a daily basis, especially when juxtaposed against God's mercy and grace. Thinking about my uselessness to God and others tends to make me keenly aware of the amazing-ness of God's grace toward me, that grace which makes something good out of.. very little good.

In 2 Corinthians 12 Paul seemed to be bragging about his long list of weaknesses, too. Even when he pleaded with God to give him some relief from one of his trials, God said no - but kept him in suffering mode. He says: "But He said to me, 'My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, My power is made perfect in you.' So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ's power can live in me."

I'm amazed at the mercy of God, His unconditional love, and the kind extention of His grace toward me - for no good reason other than.. He chooses to give it.

Again from Paul in Ephesians 2: "But God's mercy is great, and he loved us very much. Though we were spiritually dead because of the things we did against God, he gave us new life with Christ. You have been saved by God's grace."

The more amazed I am at His mercy and grace toward me.. the more I can show mercy and grace to others who need it.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think I get annoyed with your whining because we operate with two very different definitions of God. Mine says that God does not *need* me to do anything for Him. Yours has you struggling to figure out some Master Plan that God has devised for you because you believe that if you do not figure it out, you will do something wrong and let God down.

I'm not God, but I'm ready to tell you to get over yourself. You don't need to understand how God could show you grace and mercy in order to be able to show it to other people. You just need to identify with their fears, and to understand the basics of behavioral motivation. Once you understand why they are doing what they are doing, it is easier to moderate your own reaction to them and give grace and mercy when you can.

You cannot hope to understand God, but you CAN hope to understand a whole lot more about yourself. What it means to be human, the human condition, the source of fear and anger and hate. Understanding is the light that enables you to see the path beyond where you are.

Paul in 2 Corinthians is seeking to secure and assert his authority. Study leadership and rhetoric and psychology and you will understand why he made the claims he did. Unless you identify with some element of his situation, or understand his motivation, you really shouldn't pretend his statements capture your feelings.

The power of the CHURCH comes from telling us again and again that we are weak and fragile and evil. Any experience of God you have will NEVER leave you with the feeling that your are worthless. God does not NEED anything from you (it's that whole omnipotent thing). So quit acting like your soul is in immortal danger everytime you have a selfish thought. If you REALLY wanted to secure a better way of being, you would learn about where those thoughts come from (NOT the devil) and take steps to see that you don't need to think that way in the future.

Okay. Rant over. For now.

Bill said...

Well..

I guess I know very little about God, other people or myself.

It just goes to show you.. I really should stop secretly aspiring to be a Rabbi.

Maybe I could still teach math? It's used for right or wrong, yes, but.. sort of morally neutral in and of itself. That might be safe ground.

I should probably stay away from philosophy, ethics, metaphysics and religion. They confuse me.

Bill said...

Oh, and again some advice from Thomas a’ Kempis seems pertinent, this again from his book “The Imitation of Christ”:

“Do not presume to probe the works of the Most High, but look into your own failings, into how far you have fallen short, and into how many good things you have neglected to do.”

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