Twilight Sleep

Went to the orthopedist today so that he could push on the place where the MRI says I have a torn meniscus. "Does this hurt?"

YES THAT HURTS!!!!! OW OW OW OW OW

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

Yeah, sure. You just love to do that to patients, you big meanie. :( That's why you check the MRI before you look at my knee, so you'll know just where to press to apply maximum torture. You ought to go do some pro-bono work at Guantanamo.

So after I got over wanting to kill him, we talked about it for a while. Surgery is in order, he says. "Your present discomfort will disappear immediately, and there should be no reason you are not back to running like before within 3-4 weeks, and on an exercise bike in one."

My choices amount to basically two: when I have it done, and under how much anesthetic. Well, sooner than later, for sure, especially since, after Seattle the 15th-19th, I'm not traveling anywhere for several weeks. So, right after I get back, I guess.

As to the degree of numbing, apparently it can range from complete general anesthetic (with the breathing tube and the whole bit) to only local in the knee so that I'm alert and watching him cut me up on the 80" flat screen in-room monitor.

Ewww. I don't like either one. Is there an in-between, doc?

"Yes, we refer to it as twilight sleep. You are partially sedated intravenously, and given a lower spinal injection to numb everything below the waist."

Oh.

Everything?

I, um... oh.

Well?

I guess that's okay. The feeling all comes back, right?

"Gee, we certainly hope so." he says with a wink. That's not funny!

Apparently Dr. Feelgood stands there with a bag of joy juice, a pump and a dial attached to the IV, and tries to get you to a point of "titration", where you are "out of it" but not "out".

Sort of like nitrous oxide at the dentist, I suppose. "Are you feeling anything yet?", the technician asks you sweetly.

Oh, gosh no, not hardly yet. Crank that baby up some more, hey?



So... should be fun. :) Wonder if there's a hangover?

Oh yeah, I suppose that's called a sore & swollen knee afterwards, complete with compression bandage, ice and painkillers. Hmmmm.. Now depending on the painkiller...

Ah yes, the typical reaction of a guy who pretty much came of age in 1970. They didn't call it acid rock for nothing, man. Far out.

Reminds me of Steppenwolf: "Why don't you come with me, little girl, on a magic carpet ride..." Joy juice followed by painkillers? Oh yeah. Sign me up. :P