When Jenny actually finds that first job, or decides to move to where the prospects are, which is likely to be about when Jonny heads off to college, it will be empty nesting time for Deb & me.
Hm. I've always looked forward to this - in theory, anyway. Now it will be out of the realm of theory and into practice, and how will I feel about it? Free? Relieved? Lonely? Anxious? I don't know yet. This is another age thing, I guess. I don't know, either, how I will feel about growing older at the same time, even though this is the season for it. I told a friend the other day that I felt like the last bits of my youth were about to leave, and when that happens I would truly grow old. It's not just because of the job change - there's much more to it than that.
One of the things I fear most is my vitality, my enjoyment of life, slipping away because of all that's going on. And as empty nesters, I think I am going to need that joie de vivre, so as not to be a drain but a help. How awful it will be if I am down in the dumps about all I'm losing right now, including what I'm losing to youth and time, when what I need to do is bring some vitality into the house to make up for what's leaving it. I'm worried. I need to heal up from loss - and quick. But I don't know how I can do it alone, without bringing others I love down with me. :(
No comments:
Post a Comment