Gender, Sexuality, and Spiritual Formation

Like these should go together? The old-school me would say "no way".

But the new (grad-) school me says, "sure, why not?" Bring it on. Let's talk about it - you, me, and all the rest of the class!

Last week and this week in SP505 were devoted to Sexuality & Spirituality. It wasn't as awkward as the profs' disclaimers made it out to be, either. The premise is that God created us male and female, and in several places the Bible holds sexuality out as a gift, a blessing, an essential part of us, an aspect of Imago Dei, and even a human metaphor for intimacy with God. So... if sexuality is given to us by God, then there must be a spiritual component to it, and vice versa. Conversely, if you are "off course" in one of the two areas, you are likely negatively affected in the other one, too. So, they are deeply linked, and one affects the other.

Yeah, boy. Don't I know it? ;)

Gender is described as one aspect of human sexuality, along with one's sexual identity, sexual biology, and sexual orientation. These work together in a complex and incomprehensible process to compose one's sexuality as a whole.

Sure. If you say so. Complex, incomprehensible.. I'll grant you that.

It was definitely an interesting discussion of gender last night. Many stereotypes were bandied about by the class, along with much good humor. And the point was clearly made that gender is a culturally-defined concept, and varies from one culture to another, even from one sub-culture to another within the same larger culture.

But, as with both jokes and stereotypes, gender also is an exaggeration of an underlying truth. Culture takes biological differences (the hard-wired physiological and emotional characteristics driven by chromosomes and hormone levels), and blows them out of proportion, amplifies them to the point of distortion, while at the same time embedding those distortions in concrete, as if they were unassailable and timeless truths.

It was pretty interesting to see differences among same-sex classmates on how gender roles were perceived (as positive or negative). Not all women saw femininity the same way, nor did men see masculinity uniformly. I'm sure you get this without me going into a long list of examples, although there are plenty.

The rest of the night was spent on a question I asked from the prior week. One author duo we studied defined "authentic sexuality" as being that expression of sexuality that is whole, integrated and God-honoring. However, they talked about it exclusively within the confines of marriage. And yet, they made the point that sexuality is much broader and richer than the "simple" act of sexual intercourse.

So I asked: alright, if you take sexual intercourse out of the picture, whether due to dysfunction or inappropriateness, what is "authentic sexuality" in that situation? How do you live a life of fully integrated and God-honoring sexuality if you are... by circumstance or by choice... celibate? Like, for instance... Jesus. And Paul. Or the Ethiopian eunuch to whom St. Philip expounded the Scripture. Or Joni Eareckson Tada. Or Stephen Hawking. Or Mother Teresa.

The profs did some research and came back with answers. Cool. I like it when professors take your questions seriously. :)

What does it look like, for instance, to be a single person, fully expressing your God-given sexuality, while still honoring God in the process? On one end of the spectrum is an inappropriate total denial/repression/rejection of one's sexuality; on the other end is a no-holds-barred unconstrained licentious reveling in it. What's the balance? They quoted at length from this article.

For those of you who don't tend to click through, the point was that sexuality is a means of experiencing intimacy with another person, (ideally) without shame in each other's presence, as with Adam & Eve in the beginning, each seeing, knowing, and affirming each other fully. The desire for intimacy, though, while tied up with sexuality, is not confined to it. And all sexuality is, to some degree, really a distillation of a much greater desire for intimacy with God: to know and be known... and then to be loved unconditionally by that One who knows you. That desire for intimacy and unconditional love is translated to human relationships in many ways, sexuality being only one of many. We operate sub-optimally when we think that sex is the only path to intimacy, or that intimacy only occurs with sex.

Although... it sure helps. ;)