Major Dad, reporting for duty.

So as of July, we were back to empty-nesting again, after a brief stint as every-day, active-duty parents for J2 while he re-attempted college. While that experiment did not go well, what did go well was a temp job that turned into full-time with benefits. As a result, by next month, he'll be financially independent of us again as well. So, no dependents will be listed on 2013's 1040 form, except the basic two you get from filing jointly. In the meantime, during this same stretch J1 lost her job, and for the last 3 months, she's been unemployed and searching, which has gotten us involved as well. (She's now fully employed again, though, thanks be to God).

There is kind of an oscillation to this grown-child parenting phase of life. One kid is nicely settled but the other one is facing some sort of life trauma. Then that kid's trauma resolves, with said kid settling in to better circumstances, and ... the formerly solid one gets rocked by some unexpected jolt. You're not neck deep in their circumstances the way you used to be when they lived at home, though. As a parent of grown kids, your main involvement with them is a sweet/sour cocktail of joy and worry, with the exact blend varying from one serving to the next. For the most part, it's essentially passive involvement, reacting to their ups and downs.

But occasionally, there is a need to become actively involved. I've experienced this with each kid a couple of times in the last couple of years. What it kind of feels like is a reservist being called to active duty. Sometimes you can see it coming, just by seeing circumstances develop, other times it's a total surprise. But, surprise or not, convenient or not, you do what reservists are expected to do: report for duty. And right now, soldier!

When J1 and then J2 went off to college, I essentially went from being a father on active duty, to a weekend warrior in the parenting reserves. Maybe once a year, you have a couple weeks of active duty, refreshing your parenting skills, but mostly it's just a light weekly or monthly contact keeping current with a SitRep briefing by phone, by email, or over Sunday dinner. But now and then, sometimes without warning, you get the call: "Hey, Dad? Um...", and you dig the uniform out of the closet and put it on, hoping it still fits.

"Reporting for duty, sweetie (or buddy, as the case may be), Major Dad at your service. So what's our situation?"

As for me, after hearing positively from both children about their life circumstances, I think I just got my orders being released from my latest deployment. This father-soldier is putting his civvies on again. :)