What Have I Learned About... ? (updated)

The other day, I was musing about retirement and what it might entail.  This led fairly naturally to thoughts about what a life well lived looks like generally, and more specifically what mine might look like had it been well lived.  I supposed that one could answer that question from the vantage point of "what have I experienced?", or "what have been my accomplishments?".  But those things for the most part die with you, don't they (at least the internal satisfaction you may have with them)?  What of your experiences or accomplishments persist after you cross over?

And the answer is, I guess, that what persists of your experiences and accomplishments are the ones that you share with others who are coming up behind you, whether you share them by bringing others into those experiences as they happen, or by preserving your experiences or talents in some way (print, audio, video) for others to absorb later, or by giving away some of your material accomplishments in a way that improves the lives of others you'll never meet.

I suppose you could call all this a "legacy".  I read in the writings of Stephen Covey that leaving a legacy is one of the three or four great drivers of our existence as people, but that we don't really start thinking about it usually until we are in the second half of life, when we can sense mortality bearing down on us, feel its approach in our bones (and joints, and muscles).

So I thought, well, what have I learned so far in life that might be shareable?  If I have insights that I have come to rely upon or perspective that have held up over the years as true, what would they be?  What would I tell someone younger than me about what I have learned about life?  Guess it's time to start writing them down.  :)  Whether anyone ever reads them, well... that's a topic for later.  First there needs to be something to read!  So, let's begin.

ABOUT CHOICE

Life is a series of choices, made daily, hourly, minute-to-minute.  Some choices loom larger than others, take more time to work through, etc., but the fact remains that we make them constantly, whether thoughtfully (choosing from a menu in a strange restaurant), or reactively (standing, vs taking the last open seat on the bus).  If you ever want to know how you wound up where you are today, you simply take the sum of all your choices so far, and that pretty much explains it.  It even accounts for the random good or bad things that happen to you.  In each of those, you have a choice of how to react to the randomness: hostility, joy, indifference, etc.  So, it's your choices that determine the outcome of your life, including your choice of reaction to circumstances.

Choices that are thoughtful, based on principle, are better than rules-based choices (especially if you didn't set the rules).  But rules-based choices are better than choices made on the basis of expediency (i.e. the least painful short-term consequences).  In turn, even those are better than choices pushed upon you by others, or by circumstances.

Every choice you make walls off many options.  Best to get comfortable with making choices and walling off options, otherwise you may wake up after 20, 30, years and wonder how you got here, nowhere near your dreams.  Make the decision thoughtfully; then don't cling to the options you walled off once you've made the choice.  Since where you wind up is no one else's doing but yours, you will at least arrive there with no regrets, since you made the choices thoughtfully, based on principle.

ABOUT PLEASING GOD

Fully pleasing God is impossible in our current state.  But fully pleasing God is not really necessary, fortunately.  It is true that without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.  (Hebrews 11:6) The earnestly seeking part is very important; it's a necessary but not sufficient condition for reward from God.

God is also a rewarder of efforts of the hands and efforts of the heart, as long as they are both present in the effort.  Efforts of the hands without the heart, He won't reward.  Efforts of the heart without the hands, He won't reward.  Earnest seeking, and efforts of hands & heart are two of three necessary ingredients to a recipe for reward from God.  Together they are sufficient.  Trust in God is the last necessary ingredient: the idea that you know that your eternal destiny is not in your hands but in God's hand, that your efforts and your seeking is not enough, but is the best you have to give.  You trust God to make up for your deficiencies due when you acknowledge your shortfall, confess your faith in God as Savior, and believe that there will not be a record of sins kept against you.  (Psalm 130:3-4)

ABOUT SUFFERING

Suffering is a normal part of life on this planet; what's abnormal is lack of suffering, especially if it's for long stretches.  The book of Ecclesiastes does an outstanding job of describing life as we know it, and has one word to describe it: frustrating (often translated meaningless, although I think frustration is a more fitting word choice).  The Apostle Paul in the New Testament echoes this idea when he describes all creation being frustrated at present, groaning impatiently for God to make things right (see Romans 8:18-25).

Here is a particularly pertinent passage from Ecclesiastes 9:11-12:

I have seen something else under the sun:

The race is not to the swift

    or the battle to the strong,

nor does food come to the wise

    or wealth to the brilliant

    or favor to the learned;

but time and chance happen to them all. 

Moreover, no one knows when their hour will come:

As fish are caught in a cruel net,

    or birds are taken in a snare,

so people are trapped by evil times

    that fall unexpectedly upon them.

More of the same can be found in chapter 8:11-17.  We want to have a clear link between act and result; we want good things to happen to good people and bad things to happen to bad people.  We want the rich to be not quite so rich, and the poor not to be  quite so poor.  We have an innate sense of justice, of what should happen in any given circumstance, so that it comes out right.  But a random and perverted injustice prevails in this life, so we are frustrated, and will continue to be... until this life is over, creation is rescued from its frustration, and God's justice has unimpeded full sway.  In the meantime, we suffer, both ourselves and on behalf of others who face tragedy.  All we can really do is control our own behavior and choose how we respond to suffering.  An excellent guide to how to do that is found in Micah 6:8:

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.

    And what does the Lord require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy

    and to walk humbly with your God.

As we wait for ultimate restoration and do our best while we live, we should not be surprised at injustice when we see it (Eccl. 5:8-9), but do our best to set a different standard for ourselves.

FULFILLMENT IN LIFE

Given my previous statement about suffering and injustice, what's a person to do to seek some level of fulfillment?  (other than, say, roll with the punches life swings at you)  Well, Ecclesiastes to the rescue again:  enjoy the life you've been given, be happy doing what you're made to do, make the most of the joy life does give, especially the people around you whom you love.  See Eccl. 8:15 & 9:8-10.

One of the best ways to find fulfillment is to discover what you are good at (hint: there's always more than one thing), your aptitudes and talents, the tasks that feel natural and easy for you but maybe don't for others.  Maybe for you it's math, or woodworking, or drawing, or public speaking, or writing, gardening, or languages, or playing music.  You may not be able to make your talents and aptitudes your source of employment (wouldn't that be nice if everyone could?), but you can still put them to use outside of work in a volunteer setting, or a home business or, as a hobby pursued to excellence.

Do... what you are well equipped to do.  You will most likely be good at it, and at the same time enjoy the effort you put in.  Others around you will benefit, too, both from the result that flows from applying your skills, and also from your happier disposition.  You may not believe that God has given you certain interests and talents for use in furthering His objectives on this earth, but you don't have to believe that.  Just do what you are good at, in a paid capacity or not, and you will find fulfillment in life, despite its challenges.

MISCELLANEOUS OBSERVATIONS

Lack of specificity in requests often leads to disappointment, particularly if you're paying.  :)

Your desires are often a very robust source for many of the problems you will have in life.  The ones you feed will grow stronger, and more hungry.  As they do, they will begin to dominate and threaten you.  Choose carefully which desires you want to feed, and let the others simply fight for the scraps.