silence

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fearful therapy
can it be God is still heard
when there's no answer


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Some people claim that they can best hear God in the silence, whether of nature, or of meditation. In certain types of meditation we are encouraged to empty the mind of extraneous thought, focus on one word or phrase, and eventually yield to silence. Do all who practice meditation hear God that way?

My niece, E, is heading to the wilderness of the Sierra Nevadas for several weeks, where I'm sure she'll experience much profound silence. But will she come back having heard God speak in it? Will she have, as I call it, "disrobed her soul" there, and experienced communion with the Almighty in a way made more profound by the rawness of the environment (including the silence)?

Others, like Mother Teresa (in her "Come Be My Light", which I'm now reading), claim that God sometimes closes off communication with us, for reasons we don't understand. And for God to be silent to one like her, who served God wholeheartedly, for so long.. is inexplicable. What kind of God is this?

Is God capricious when it comes to communication? There is a debate in theology over Divine Hiddenness. And I myself have often had a bone to pick with God over giving us these five senses with which we encounter our environment, but not allow us to encounter God with them. What is up with that, anyway?

(As an aside, tonight the author of this last link [a new friend from Seminary] and his wife are coming over for dinner. I get to cook! Salmon on the grill in a marinade of sesame oil dressing and dijon mustard with some dried cranberries sprinkled on top. Mmmm.. then the wild rice & mushroom soup [broth-based], and homemade cantaloupe/strawberry sorbet for dessert.) Oooh. :)

Back to the point. :) At times, I just throw my hands in the air and say "God will be what God will be. Who am I to say what that should be?" That hearkens back to Exodus 3:14, where God essentially refuses to be defined, and to Exodus 33, where God refuses to be seen, except in passing, even by Moses.

Sometimes, though, when I'm not particularly looking for it... God shows up, unbidden, and hauls off and says something unsettling or profound. God speaks! Well.. I do use the terms "shows up" and "speaks" loosely. :) Let's just say I get the message, anyway.

So.. should I really care if God speaks or is silent? Since what I mostly mean by "speaks" is "speaks on MY timetable", anyway?

The answer is... no? God will speak when God will speak. There's, um.. no need for God to consult me on when (or if) that happens. ;)

And yet...

I do crave hearing the voice of God. Even if it's unsettling.