This snow lion will melt, but the old adage proves once again that there's rhythm to life, an ebb and flow to things.
.
snow buries our hopes
March keeps us waiting longer
we have springtime faith
.
Monday, March 31, 2008
lion
6-8" today..
This snow lion will melt, but the old adage proves once again that there's rhythm to life, an ebb and flow to things.
.
snow buries our hopes
March keeps us waiting longer
we have springtime faith
.
This snow lion will melt, but the old adage proves once again that there's rhythm to life, an ebb and flow to things.
.
snow buries our hopes
March keeps us waiting longer
we have springtime faith
.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Multi Concerti
Wow, what a musical weekend. And variety galore - folk, classical & rock. Widely varied venues, too: a 100 year old restored opera house, a new state-of-the-art concert hall, and a converted movie theatre. :) Fun. Love this music therapy. Thanks, Dr. Shrink-wrap! ;)
Saturday night was dinner out followed by a show by Pat Donohue, a folk/blues guitarist and songwriter. Half the band were regulars with Prairie Home Companion, and talented musicians all - my goodness, could they play! And did they ever, from blues to bluegrass, from gospel to swing, from classical (a bach gavotte!) to jazz, they did it.
And they played for 2 1/2 hours in the Fitzgerald Theatre, which is owned by Minnesota Public Radio, and hosts the PHC radio show each week. Cool old place.
The special guest was a favorite country singer of mine, Suzy Bogguss. She is just as cute as can be, and has one of those voices that makes a guy want to put his arms around her and take care of her. :) To top it off, the girl can yodel! I mean, what more can a man ask for in a woman? At least.. one that's on stage that he's paying $30 a seat to see. At that price, she ought to be able to yodel. ;)
Sunday afternoon was the St.Paul Chamber Orchestra in the Great Hall at Bethel, with a program of baroque music, including a great little suite by Telemann, and both a Violin Concerto and one of the Brandenberg Concertos by J.S. Bach. I've always preferred Telemann to Bach. Bach is incredibly complex and precise, but.. after a while I get tired of all that counterpoint. Telemann, to me, seems to have more humanity in his music - more warmth and life. :) Anyway, D loves the Brandenbergs and I love Telemann's work, so it was great...
except that we each spent 5+ minutes out in the hallway during our favorite pieces on an extended coughing jag! :( Yuk. But then we got the tickets for nothing, so.. who can complain? Just - never go to a classical performance when you have a cold. Courtesy just demands that you leave, and of course once you're out of the hall you can't go back in until the piece is over. :(
At least at a rock concert nobody cares if you cough yourself silly. They couldn't hear you anyway. So after a run to Culver's for custard (medicinal reasons only - for our sore throats), I squared my shoulders, took some ibuprofen, rubbed my aching ribs, stuffed some cough drops in my pocket and headed out for the rock concert Sunday night.
Carbon/Silicon was the lead act, but I really went for the opener, Matt Pond PA. I have his CD, Several Arrows Later, which I reviewed here some time back, and liked a lot. He also has a new one out, which got great reviews, so I picked that up while there. Plus, it was a favorite venue - The Varsity in Dinkytown.
Boy, does Matt Pond ever sound different live than on his recordings. Four guitars and a drum, and really just straight up rock and roll, man. :) Nothing emotive about this guy tonight. No sir. Leave the string section for the studio, baby. And man oh man - he had absolutely zero personality on stage. Just wind him up and he plays, I guess. But I do like the new CD. :) Review to follow. Sometime.
Carbon/Silicon turned out to be why the crowd was a bit older tonight. I've never seen so many 40-somethings (and older) with straggly shoulder length hair and shades. And I don't mean the women. This act paired up two aging punk-rockers, Mick Jones from the Clash and Tony James from Generation X.
And it took exactly one and a half songs until I remembered why I never got into punk rock. Yikes! It has all the lyrical disappointment and despair of emo, but suppressed and covered over by angry and loud music with the focus squarely on minor chords. Eww. I beat it out of there while I still had my happy face on. :)
Saturday night was dinner out followed by a show by Pat Donohue, a folk/blues guitarist and songwriter. Half the band were regulars with Prairie Home Companion, and talented musicians all - my goodness, could they play! And did they ever, from blues to bluegrass, from gospel to swing, from classical (a bach gavotte!) to jazz, they did it.
And they played for 2 1/2 hours in the Fitzgerald Theatre, which is owned by Minnesota Public Radio, and hosts the PHC radio show each week. Cool old place.
The special guest was a favorite country singer of mine, Suzy Bogguss. She is just as cute as can be, and has one of those voices that makes a guy want to put his arms around her and take care of her. :) To top it off, the girl can yodel! I mean, what more can a man ask for in a woman? At least.. one that's on stage that he's paying $30 a seat to see. At that price, she ought to be able to yodel. ;)
Sunday afternoon was the St.Paul Chamber Orchestra in the Great Hall at Bethel, with a program of baroque music, including a great little suite by Telemann, and both a Violin Concerto and one of the Brandenberg Concertos by J.S. Bach. I've always preferred Telemann to Bach. Bach is incredibly complex and precise, but.. after a while I get tired of all that counterpoint. Telemann, to me, seems to have more humanity in his music - more warmth and life. :) Anyway, D loves the Brandenbergs and I love Telemann's work, so it was great...
except that we each spent 5+ minutes out in the hallway during our favorite pieces on an extended coughing jag! :( Yuk. But then we got the tickets for nothing, so.. who can complain? Just - never go to a classical performance when you have a cold. Courtesy just demands that you leave, and of course once you're out of the hall you can't go back in until the piece is over. :(
At least at a rock concert nobody cares if you cough yourself silly. They couldn't hear you anyway. So after a run to Culver's for custard (medicinal reasons only - for our sore throats), I squared my shoulders, took some ibuprofen, rubbed my aching ribs, stuffed some cough drops in my pocket and headed out for the rock concert Sunday night.
Carbon/Silicon was the lead act, but I really went for the opener, Matt Pond PA. I have his CD, Several Arrows Later, which I reviewed here some time back, and liked a lot. He also has a new one out, which got great reviews, so I picked that up while there. Plus, it was a favorite venue - The Varsity in Dinkytown.
Boy, does Matt Pond ever sound different live than on his recordings. Four guitars and a drum, and really just straight up rock and roll, man. :) Nothing emotive about this guy tonight. No sir. Leave the string section for the studio, baby. And man oh man - he had absolutely zero personality on stage. Just wind him up and he plays, I guess. But I do like the new CD. :) Review to follow. Sometime.
Carbon/Silicon turned out to be why the crowd was a bit older tonight. I've never seen so many 40-somethings (and older) with straggly shoulder length hair and shades. And I don't mean the women. This act paired up two aging punk-rockers, Mick Jones from the Clash and Tony James from Generation X.
And it took exactly one and a half songs until I remembered why I never got into punk rock. Yikes! It has all the lyrical disappointment and despair of emo, but suppressed and covered over by angry and loud music with the focus squarely on minor chords. Eww. I beat it out of there while I still had my happy face on. :)
Go Offline
The pastor at EnCompass started a new series today on "Jesus in the Suburbs", trying to relate His message to where and how we live.
As he said today, it's not so hard to envision Jesus in the heart of the city. You can see Him reaching out to the homeless, the drug-dependent, the outcasts, the despairing, the hoods, the whores. You can see Him wrangling with city officials and the leaders of inner-city churches. He'd be in His element, healing people, inspiring justice, working for acceptance.
It's also not hard to picture Jesus in jeans and flannel shirt out in a rural setting, singing to the cows during morning milking, working up a sweat in the haymow with the neighbors, talking with the boys at the grain elevator about the quality of the harvest, walking through the fields giving life lessons about how things grow, sitting on the porch at night loving the quiet.
But .. Jesus in the suburbs? Stuck in traffic, or running between soccer games and music lessons, or worrying about how to get a decent dinner on the table? Um.. no. Somehow it doesn't work.
So his first sermon text got right to the busy-ness issue with the story of Mary and Martha, where He says: "Martha, Martha... you're worried and upset about so many things" and basically tells her to sit still, stop all her fussing, and be more like her lazy-ass sister. ;)
The pastor suggested that we allow ourselves to be bored. No other species is even capable of boredom, as far as we know. It's a perfectly human state to be in, may actually be theraputic, and something that we ought to welcome now and then. :)
And all the while he was preaching, I kept hearing this nagging little Voice in my head. You know the One. Or .. at least I do. He doesn't do this often, so when He does, I have to pay attention. He said
"Go offline."
That's it. I checked again to see if I heard Him right. mmhmm.
"Go offline."
Would you mind elaborating a bit? I'm slow.
"Go offline."
He rarely does this, either, so even more important.. He elaborated.
"Not forever; a couple of hours a day will do. Just shut off your music, close your IM session, put the Mac to sleep, so you don't hear the ding of new email. You don't need the constant stimuli - it's okay to be bored. Go offline."
Wow. Okay. I guess I'll try it. Maybe while I'm studying? I'll try to figure out a time.
Thanks for the advice. I'll.. give it a try. :)
As he said today, it's not so hard to envision Jesus in the heart of the city. You can see Him reaching out to the homeless, the drug-dependent, the outcasts, the despairing, the hoods, the whores. You can see Him wrangling with city officials and the leaders of inner-city churches. He'd be in His element, healing people, inspiring justice, working for acceptance.
It's also not hard to picture Jesus in jeans and flannel shirt out in a rural setting, singing to the cows during morning milking, working up a sweat in the haymow with the neighbors, talking with the boys at the grain elevator about the quality of the harvest, walking through the fields giving life lessons about how things grow, sitting on the porch at night loving the quiet.
But .. Jesus in the suburbs? Stuck in traffic, or running between soccer games and music lessons, or worrying about how to get a decent dinner on the table? Um.. no. Somehow it doesn't work.
So his first sermon text got right to the busy-ness issue with the story of Mary and Martha, where He says: "Martha, Martha... you're worried and upset about so many things" and basically tells her to sit still, stop all her fussing, and be more like her lazy-ass sister. ;)
The pastor suggested that we allow ourselves to be bored. No other species is even capable of boredom, as far as we know. It's a perfectly human state to be in, may actually be theraputic, and something that we ought to welcome now and then. :)
And all the while he was preaching, I kept hearing this nagging little Voice in my head. You know the One. Or .. at least I do. He doesn't do this often, so when He does, I have to pay attention. He said
"Go offline."
That's it. I checked again to see if I heard Him right. mmhmm.
"Go offline."
Would you mind elaborating a bit? I'm slow.
"Go offline."
He rarely does this, either, so even more important.. He elaborated.
"Not forever; a couple of hours a day will do. Just shut off your music, close your IM session, put the Mac to sleep, so you don't hear the ding of new email. You don't need the constant stimuli - it's okay to be bored. Go offline."
Wow. Okay. I guess I'll try it. Maybe while I'm studying? I'll try to figure out a time.
Thanks for the advice. I'll.. give it a try. :)
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Relatively speaking
(...in this case I really mean relationally speaking, as in relative to one another.)
In TS503 we are starting out with the Doctrine of the Holy Spirit. In parallel with the required text, I'm also reading for my own benefit The Trinity in Asian Perspective by Jung Young Lee, referred to in an earlier post. No doubt you'll be seeing more quotes from him as the quarter goes along. :)
Here's a starter set, first discussing the fuzzily relative nature of the many opposites found in this world - cold/hot, dark/light, work/rest, male/female, East/West, happy/sad, movement/stillness, etc., and the way we use symbols to discuss them:
"It is important to recognize the symbolic nature of yin and yang. Yin and yang are not entities in themselves but only symbols that point to actual entities. In this respect, the yin and yang symbolic approach is different from a process approach, which uses entities to describe the world. Yin and yang are always symbolic. Thus, strictly speaking, yin is not dark, female, or earth, and yang is not light, male, or heaven. Yin simply represents or symbolizes these elements, just as yang represents their polar opposites.
"When relationship is more fundamental than substance, relativity is inevitable. Since [the concept of] yin only exists in its relationship to yang, and yang in its relationship to yin, the existence of one is determined by the existence of the 'other.' Yin cannot exist alone without yang, just as yang cannot exist without yin. This mutually dependent relationship makes yin-yang symbolic thinking relative. In the symbolic nature of yin and yang, any absolute is always relatively defined.
"I am 'yin' in my relation to my father, who is 'yang' in his relation to me. However, I am 'yang' in relation to my children, who are in turn 'yin' in their relation to me. As we see, it is not 'I' as an actual entity that determines the character of my being a yin or yang symbol. Rather it is my status in relation to the 'other' which determines my symbolic character.
"Light is relative to darkness, since light is [understood as] light because of darkness. In the same manner, darkness is darkness because of light. Light and darkness cannot exist independently but always in relation to each other.
"If we think that yang is masculine and yin is feminine, we must say that the masculine nature in men includes [aspects of] the feminine nature, just as the feminine nature in women includes the masculine nature. The male and female are opposite but are in complementary relationship. When yin is incomplete, it needs yang to complete it. Likewise, because yang is not complete [in itself], it needs yin to complete it. Yin is complete in yang and yang in yin, which is the Great Ultimate [the Tao].
"The complementary relationship of opposites is then necessary for the whole. When the whole becomes a primary concern of its parts, complementary dualism is possible. In yin and yang symbolism, the whole takes precedence over the parts.
"Yin and yang are relative to each other. Yin and Yang are complementary to each other. Yin and yang always coexist without losing their distinctive identity."
:)
I like that. The whole becoming a primary concern of its parts. Especially in human relationships. It's probably most easily understood in terms of a man and a woman, though it can certainly be broadened beyond that, too.
When the parts think less of their individual concerns and more of the concerns of the relationship as a whole.. they can be dualistic, but complementary. Retain their individuality, but see it in the context of relating with each other.
Yeah. Nice.
In TS503 we are starting out with the Doctrine of the Holy Spirit. In parallel with the required text, I'm also reading for my own benefit The Trinity in Asian Perspective by Jung Young Lee, referred to in an earlier post. No doubt you'll be seeing more quotes from him as the quarter goes along. :)
Here's a starter set, first discussing the fuzzily relative nature of the many opposites found in this world - cold/hot, dark/light, work/rest, male/female, East/West, happy/sad, movement/stillness, etc., and the way we use symbols to discuss them:
"It is important to recognize the symbolic nature of yin and yang. Yin and yang are not entities in themselves but only symbols that point to actual entities. In this respect, the yin and yang symbolic approach is different from a process approach, which uses entities to describe the world. Yin and yang are always symbolic. Thus, strictly speaking, yin is not dark, female, or earth, and yang is not light, male, or heaven. Yin simply represents or symbolizes these elements, just as yang represents their polar opposites.
"When relationship is more fundamental than substance, relativity is inevitable. Since [the concept of] yin only exists in its relationship to yang, and yang in its relationship to yin, the existence of one is determined by the existence of the 'other.' Yin cannot exist alone without yang, just as yang cannot exist without yin. This mutually dependent relationship makes yin-yang symbolic thinking relative. In the symbolic nature of yin and yang, any absolute is always relatively defined.
"I am 'yin' in my relation to my father, who is 'yang' in his relation to me. However, I am 'yang' in relation to my children, who are in turn 'yin' in their relation to me. As we see, it is not 'I' as an actual entity that determines the character of my being a yin or yang symbol. Rather it is my status in relation to the 'other' which determines my symbolic character.
"Light is relative to darkness, since light is [understood as] light because of darkness. In the same manner, darkness is darkness because of light. Light and darkness cannot exist independently but always in relation to each other.
"If we think that yang is masculine and yin is feminine, we must say that the masculine nature in men includes [aspects of] the feminine nature, just as the feminine nature in women includes the masculine nature. The male and female are opposite but are in complementary relationship. When yin is incomplete, it needs yang to complete it. Likewise, because yang is not complete [in itself], it needs yin to complete it. Yin is complete in yang and yang in yin, which is the Great Ultimate [the Tao].
"The complementary relationship of opposites is then necessary for the whole. When the whole becomes a primary concern of its parts, complementary dualism is possible. In yin and yang symbolism, the whole takes precedence over the parts.
"Yin and yang are relative to each other. Yin and Yang are complementary to each other. Yin and yang always coexist without losing their distinctive identity."
:)
I like that. The whole becoming a primary concern of its parts. Especially in human relationships. It's probably most easily understood in terms of a man and a woman, though it can certainly be broadened beyond that, too.
When the parts think less of their individual concerns and more of the concerns of the relationship as a whole.. they can be dualistic, but complementary. Retain their individuality, but see it in the context of relating with each other.
Yeah. Nice.
Cough, sneeze, cough some more
Ugh.
I feel the way Wisconsin must feel after being pounded by Davidson last night. Something that seemed inconsequential snuck up on me and then laid me flat.
What seemed to be a harmless little throat tickle has turned into a full blown head and chest cold. Ick.
And I've sneezed and coughed so hard over the last 2 days that my rib cage is sore. :(
The only time I don't cough is when I'm sleeping. So at least I haven't been up all night because of it.
Hope I feel better by the time the concert starts tonight, or the people sitting around me will be a tad resentful.
Cough, sneeze, cough.
Bleh.
I feel the way Wisconsin must feel after being pounded by Davidson last night. Something that seemed inconsequential snuck up on me and then laid me flat.
What seemed to be a harmless little throat tickle has turned into a full blown head and chest cold. Ick.
And I've sneezed and coughed so hard over the last 2 days that my rib cage is sore. :(
The only time I don't cough is when I'm sleeping. So at least I haven't been up all night because of it.
Hope I feel better by the time the concert starts tonight, or the people sitting around me will be a tad resentful.
Cough, sneeze, cough.
Bleh.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Music Reviews: Charlotte Gainsbourg, Mae, Straylight Run, Motion City Soundtrack, Relient K
Okay, one more review to clean up the old J2 inventory (along with one newer one not from him.) But before I launch into that.. here comes an NCAA weekend! Yay! Should be fun. And a concert weekend! Yaay! Should be even more fun. And a study weekend! Yaa..
Oh. Well, two out of three...
Charlotte Gainsbourg - "5:55": Breathy, smooth, acoustic, gentle, French accent.. mmmm. :) I like this girl. Simple piano and guitar most of the time, with a vocal delivery that reminds one of a poet reading her material and then gently breaking into song. Her songs sound a bit like those of Marketa Irglova from the movie Once, when she occasionally solos. Favorites: the title track, Somewhere Between Waking and Sleeping, Jamais, Little Monsters, Beauty Mark, The Songs that We Sing, Tel Que Tu Es, The Operation. Two thumbs up. :)
And now the last of the Christmas uploads from J2. Now I can head out to iTunes again. In moderation, of course, thanks to Lent's recalibrating of my appetites. ;)
Mae - "Singularity": Hey! These guys are really good! :) What a solid rock sound, with fine vocals, good songs, great playing. Not one bad track on this CD. They have been a favorite of J2's for a while, and I can see why. I like them, too. The songs I like best are Brink of Disaster, Crazy 8s, Just Let Go, Last Transmission II, Release Me, Waiting. Two thumbs up - good CD.
Relient K - "Five Score and Seven Years Ago": These guys are at the top of their game now. The sound has matured, the gimmicks are few and far between, the vocals and playing are solid, songwriting strong & unapologetic, same great harmonies and positive outlook on things. What a good CD this is. :) Deathbed is a really interesting track - an 11 minute tale of a 74 year old about to die, reviewing his life. Two thumbs up for this CD. I like all tracks, especially Up and Up, Plead the Fifth (very BeachBoysian and not nearly long enough, but the bonus track Sloop John B makes up for it), Must Have Done Something Right, Give Until There's Nothing Left, I'm Taking You With Me, Devastation and Reform.
Motion City Soundtrack - "Even if it Kills Me": Hmmm, let's see... Relient K but less positive? Matchbook Romance with better vocals? :) And with songs maybe not quite as catchy. Pretty good, though, for these MPLS natives. It wouldn't hurt for them to move the language from R to PG-13, though; they could still get their point across. Despite that, I liked This is for Real, It Had to be You, Last Night, Calling All Cops, Point of Extinction, Antonia. But still, only one thumb up.
Straylight Run - self-titled CD, and "The Needles The Space": Kinda nice. :) A little emo, but maybe with more variety and depth than that. Mostly laid-back stuff, with the occasional hard-driving rock song. The bulk of the songs are very accessible and either acoustic guitar- or piano-driven. The vocals are shared male and female, and it's a nice change from some of the mono-gender bands of this variety.
iTunes says they toured with Motion City Soundtrack and Taking Back Sunday, and I can see that they offered to the gigs a softer side. Very pleasant to listen to, but still a young sound. Favorites (from TNTS, the more uneven of the two CDs): The Words We Say, How Do I FIx My Head, Cover Your Eyes, This is the End, The First of the Century. From their first self-titled CD (the better of the two, I think): The Perfect Ending, The Tension and the Terror, Another Word For Desperate, Existentialism on Prom Night, Tool Sheds and Hot Tubs, Now It's Done, Sympathy for the Martyr.
So.. On Wisconsin! :) (with apologies to you badger-haters out there.)
Oh. Well, two out of three...
Charlotte Gainsbourg - "5:55": Breathy, smooth, acoustic, gentle, French accent.. mmmm. :) I like this girl. Simple piano and guitar most of the time, with a vocal delivery that reminds one of a poet reading her material and then gently breaking into song. Her songs sound a bit like those of Marketa Irglova from the movie Once, when she occasionally solos. Favorites: the title track, Somewhere Between Waking and Sleeping, Jamais, Little Monsters, Beauty Mark, The Songs that We Sing, Tel Que Tu Es, The Operation. Two thumbs up. :)
And now the last of the Christmas uploads from J2. Now I can head out to iTunes again. In moderation, of course, thanks to Lent's recalibrating of my appetites. ;)
Mae - "Singularity": Hey! These guys are really good! :) What a solid rock sound, with fine vocals, good songs, great playing. Not one bad track on this CD. They have been a favorite of J2's for a while, and I can see why. I like them, too. The songs I like best are Brink of Disaster, Crazy 8s, Just Let Go, Last Transmission II, Release Me, Waiting. Two thumbs up - good CD.
Relient K - "Five Score and Seven Years Ago": These guys are at the top of their game now. The sound has matured, the gimmicks are few and far between, the vocals and playing are solid, songwriting strong & unapologetic, same great harmonies and positive outlook on things. What a good CD this is. :) Deathbed is a really interesting track - an 11 minute tale of a 74 year old about to die, reviewing his life. Two thumbs up for this CD. I like all tracks, especially Up and Up, Plead the Fifth (very BeachBoysian and not nearly long enough, but the bonus track Sloop John B makes up for it), Must Have Done Something Right, Give Until There's Nothing Left, I'm Taking You With Me, Devastation and Reform.
Motion City Soundtrack - "Even if it Kills Me": Hmmm, let's see... Relient K but less positive? Matchbook Romance with better vocals? :) And with songs maybe not quite as catchy. Pretty good, though, for these MPLS natives. It wouldn't hurt for them to move the language from R to PG-13, though; they could still get their point across. Despite that, I liked This is for Real, It Had to be You, Last Night, Calling All Cops, Point of Extinction, Antonia. But still, only one thumb up.
Straylight Run - self-titled CD, and "The Needles The Space": Kinda nice. :) A little emo, but maybe with more variety and depth than that. Mostly laid-back stuff, with the occasional hard-driving rock song. The bulk of the songs are very accessible and either acoustic guitar- or piano-driven. The vocals are shared male and female, and it's a nice change from some of the mono-gender bands of this variety.
iTunes says they toured with Motion City Soundtrack and Taking Back Sunday, and I can see that they offered to the gigs a softer side. Very pleasant to listen to, but still a young sound. Favorites (from TNTS, the more uneven of the two CDs): The Words We Say, How Do I FIx My Head, Cover Your Eyes, This is the End, The First of the Century. From their first self-titled CD (the better of the two, I think): The Perfect Ending, The Tension and the Terror, Another Word For Desperate, Existentialism on Prom Night, Tool Sheds and Hot Tubs, Now It's Done, Sympathy for the Martyr.
So.. On Wisconsin! :) (with apologies to you badger-haters out there.)
Thursday, March 27, 2008
To _____
But once I dared to lift my eyes,
To lift my eyes to thee;
And, since that day, beneath the skies,
No other sight they see.
In vain sleep shuts them in the night.
The night grows day to me,
Presenting idly to my sight
What still a dream must be.
A fatal dream--for many a bar
Divides thy fate from mine;
And still my passions wake and war,
But peace be still with thine.
----- Lord Byron
(and yes, that really is the title! Still, it makes you wonder..)
I doubt that it's generic verse,
writ for every girl the same,
there is but one who knows it's hers -
she whom he must never name.
:)
I love poetry. It conveys so much with so little.
To lift my eyes to thee;
And, since that day, beneath the skies,
No other sight they see.
In vain sleep shuts them in the night.
The night grows day to me,
Presenting idly to my sight
What still a dream must be.
A fatal dream--for many a bar
Divides thy fate from mine;
And still my passions wake and war,
But peace be still with thine.
----- Lord Byron
(and yes, that really is the title! Still, it makes you wonder..)
I doubt that it's generic verse,
writ for every girl the same,
there is but one who knows it's hers -
she whom he must never name.
:)
I love poetry. It conveys so much with so little.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
They Say It's Spring
and it sort of looks like it. Sort of.
There is grass poking out from under the remaining snow.
The sun was warm on my face on a walk around the neighborhood tonight while dinner was cooking. 
The gardens have little shoots coming up in yellow-green and red. There is a pot of daffodils on the dining table.
They say it's Spring.
But then again, they say... it's going to snow tomorrow, and turn colder again. Yeah.
Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's better to not look for Spring on the outside, but.. in the heart. :)
I've always liked these stanzas from a Blossom Dearie song. There's other ways to look at Spring.
They say it's spring
Those bells that I can hear ringing
It may be spring
But when the robins stop singing
You're what I'm clinging to
Though they say it's spring
It's you
If poets sing
That when a heart's sympathetic
It's merely spring
Then poets plights are pathetic
Though I'm poetic too
They say it's spring
For lovers, there's where the lure is
That evil thing
For which September the cure is
This, they are sure is true
Though I know
That it's so
That my fancy may turn in the spring
With the right
One in sight
One can find a perpetual thing
Darling I thought we knew
That it wasn't spring
'Twas you
There is grass poking out from under the remaining snow.
The sun was warm on my face on a walk around the neighborhood tonight while dinner was cooking. 
The gardens have little shoots coming up in yellow-green and red. There is a pot of daffodils on the dining table. 
They say it's Spring.But then again, they say... it's going to snow tomorrow, and turn colder again. Yeah.
Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's better to not look for Spring on the outside, but.. in the heart. :)
I've always liked these stanzas from a Blossom Dearie song. There's other ways to look at Spring.
They say it's spring
Those bells that I can hear ringing
It may be spring
But when the robins stop singing
You're what I'm clinging to
Though they say it's spring
It's you
If poets sing
That when a heart's sympathetic
It's merely spring
Then poets plights are pathetic
Though I'm poetic too
They say it's spring
For lovers, there's where the lure is
That evil thing
For which September the cure is
This, they are sure is true
Though I know
That it's so
That my fancy may turn in the spring
With the right
One in sight
One can find a perpetual thing
Darling I thought we knew
That it wasn't spring
'Twas you
Pneumatology
Okay, deep breath..
This is the one I've been both looking forward to, and dreading, the most since I began the Systematic Theology series in Fall at seminary. TS503 covers the doctrines of the Holy Spirit, salvation, the church, the world to come:
pneumatology, soteriology, ecclesiology and eschatology.
(side note: one of the required texts is Models of the Church, by Avery Cardinal Dulles. Bethel does tend to refer to Catholic theologians fairly often.)
The one I'm most up in the air about is the first doctrine. As I began to think more seriously about the concept of the Trinity last fall, this is where I got stuck. The Divine/human nature of Christ I can see; two, no problem. But I just don't get the third part.
I have no questions, really, either intellectually or experientially, about the various activities and roles and influence of God's spirit. I know what the spirit does; I've felt it directly. But.. a third person? Boy, I just don't know..
There are too many references in the Scripture that discuss the spirit of Christ or the spirit of God, as if it were nothing more than an active extension of the personality of either the Father or the Son, to let me just jump directly to the idea of a co-equal partner with them, possessing real personhood, in a three-fold unity of essence. Unity of essence I'm okay with, but personhood is harder for me to get to.
One of the attributes of personhood is volition, an independent will. I see that clearly in Jesus, who voluntarily chose to follow the Father's will, but I don't see a voluntary *anything* about what the spirit does - no indication of free choice. Just tasks, assignments.
So far the thing that's made the most sense to me is the way Jung Young Lee sees it in his book The Trinity in Asian Perspective. He sees the Father and Son as the yin and yang and the spirit as the ch'i, which is the great harmonizing and binding force in the universe (in the Christian view, part of the essence of God; living & active, yes, but not personal.) The picture is from the cover; I'm sure you can follow the symbolism.
But I'm far from settled on any of this, and am looking forward to an airing out of the subject in class. What I'm dreading is a 30-point (of 100 for the course) Credo paper where I have to explain what I believe. I wish I knew.
This is the one I've been both looking forward to, and dreading, the most since I began the Systematic Theology series in Fall at seminary. TS503 covers the doctrines of the Holy Spirit, salvation, the church, the world to come:
pneumatology, soteriology, ecclesiology and eschatology.
(side note: one of the required texts is Models of the Church, by Avery Cardinal Dulles. Bethel does tend to refer to Catholic theologians fairly often.)
The one I'm most up in the air about is the first doctrine. As I began to think more seriously about the concept of the Trinity last fall, this is where I got stuck. The Divine/human nature of Christ I can see; two, no problem. But I just don't get the third part.
I have no questions, really, either intellectually or experientially, about the various activities and roles and influence of God's spirit. I know what the spirit does; I've felt it directly. But.. a third person? Boy, I just don't know..
There are too many references in the Scripture that discuss the spirit of Christ or the spirit of God, as if it were nothing more than an active extension of the personality of either the Father or the Son, to let me just jump directly to the idea of a co-equal partner with them, possessing real personhood, in a three-fold unity of essence. Unity of essence I'm okay with, but personhood is harder for me to get to.
One of the attributes of personhood is volition, an independent will. I see that clearly in Jesus, who voluntarily chose to follow the Father's will, but I don't see a voluntary *anything* about what the spirit does - no indication of free choice. Just tasks, assignments.
So far the thing that's made the most sense to me is the way Jung Young Lee sees it in his book The Trinity in Asian Perspective. He sees the Father and Son as the yin and yang and the spirit as the ch'i, which is the great harmonizing and binding force in the universe (in the Christian view, part of the essence of God; living & active, yes, but not personal.) The picture is from the cover; I'm sure you can follow the symbolism.But I'm far from settled on any of this, and am looking forward to an airing out of the subject in class. What I'm dreading is a 30-point (of 100 for the course) Credo paper where I have to explain what I believe. I wish I knew.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Tastes and cravings
Had my first Miller Lite (with lime) Sunday night after sitting out all of Lent in the alcohol department.
My taste reaction: Eh. Is that what I had been craving during those first weeks of Lent? Why? It's not *that* great.
My body reaction: a little woozy. :) After only 2/3 of a can. That's sort of different. Hm. Guess I'd gotten a bit too used to it.
At this point, I have no desire to go mix myself a martini or a gin & tonic. No longing to open a nice bottle of syrah. And I guess I should have known it would be like this, given the fight I've had in the past with sugar cravings.
After laying off sugar for a long time, the cravings went away, and a whole bar of chocolate actually was a bit too much to take. Deny yourself something long enough and you stop wanting/needing it so badly, I guess.
But then.. when you eventually DO have some.. your normal portion from before turns out to be almost too much. The effect that a little bit brings you is pretty substantial, the kick pretty potent.
After you've recalibrated yourself, if you still enjoy something that you used to crave, you can then proceed to enjoy it again, but... in moderation. That way, your appetites don't control you.. you control your appetites. Which, as my therapist would say, is just healthier all the way around.
Hm. I suppose there's application here to more than just food & drink, isn't there?
Wiser people than me figured that out a long time ago. Maybe it just took Lent and the events of Holy Week this year to adjust my perspective on things. I guess I'm kind of slow. :)
But eventually.. I learn. Eventually.
My taste reaction: Eh. Is that what I had been craving during those first weeks of Lent? Why? It's not *that* great.
My body reaction: a little woozy. :) After only 2/3 of a can. That's sort of different. Hm. Guess I'd gotten a bit too used to it.
At this point, I have no desire to go mix myself a martini or a gin & tonic. No longing to open a nice bottle of syrah. And I guess I should have known it would be like this, given the fight I've had in the past with sugar cravings.
After laying off sugar for a long time, the cravings went away, and a whole bar of chocolate actually was a bit too much to take. Deny yourself something long enough and you stop wanting/needing it so badly, I guess.
But then.. when you eventually DO have some.. your normal portion from before turns out to be almost too much. The effect that a little bit brings you is pretty substantial, the kick pretty potent.
After you've recalibrated yourself, if you still enjoy something that you used to crave, you can then proceed to enjoy it again, but... in moderation. That way, your appetites don't control you.. you control your appetites. Which, as my therapist would say, is just healthier all the way around.
Hm. I suppose there's application here to more than just food & drink, isn't there?
Wiser people than me figured that out a long time ago. Maybe it just took Lent and the events of Holy Week this year to adjust my perspective on things. I guess I'm kind of slow. :)
But eventually.. I learn. Eventually.
frittata
.
vaya con huevos
alimentos divina
no hay harina
.
And for those of you who don't quite get this... maybe you've never had one. I had my very first yesterday. mmmm...
vaya con huevos
alimentos divina
no hay harina
.
And for those of you who don't quite get this... maybe you've never had one. I had my very first yesterday. mmmm...
Monday, March 24, 2008
Music Reviews: Devendra Banhart, Matchbook Romance, Bob Dylan Tribute, Paramore, Silversun Pickups, Scary Kids
All right. Back to it. Break is over. Normalcy returns.
Plus, I have to hurry up and get these done so that I can break my Lenten fast and buy some new iTunes music. ;)
So.. here is a long overdue music review: one newer one, and half of the uploads from J2 that I accessed over Christmas (it's fun to see what the boy listens to in the car as he drives. Gives me some insights into what he thinks.) :)
Devendra Banhart - "Rejoicing in the Hands": I can't figure out if this guy is a deep-south blues man, a Django Rheinhart disciple, or is better categorized as world music, alternative, or straight folk. Whatever he is, he sure is interesting. :) What he's not, is background. You kind of have to listen. He doesn't let you contentedly snooze. Favorites: This Is The Way, Sight To Behold, Dogs They make Up The Dark, This Beard is for Siobhan, Fall, Todo Los Dolores, There Was Sun, Autumn's Child. Two thumbs up - fascinating musician.
And now the J2 stuff:
Various Artists - "Listen to Bob Dylan (A Tribute)": From Jason Mraz to James Blunt to Anberlin, kind of a mixed bag here paying tribute to Dylan. At least these people can sing. Unlike old Bob. ;) Never a real fan of Dylan, I'm not that crazy about the songs, either, even if they're sung well. But, a few highlights: Rainy Day Women is just goofy fun, no matter who sings it. Dave Melillo does a nice job with It Ain't Me, Babe, and Positively 4th Street is done fine, too. To Ramona is nice, done by Days Away. Steel Train does both I Shall Be Released and Don't Think Twice (It's Alright) well. Anberlin's Like A Rolling Stone is good. Finally Jason Mraz's 8 minute-plus version of A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall is swell - he sounds like Paul Simon at his most reflective. :) One thumb up for this 2-CD set.. unless you really like Dylan, then it's probably better.
Scary Kids Scaring Kids (eponymous): They're coming to The Varsity on May 16th. I, um.. don't think I'll be going. Screamers. :( Not that they can't make decent music. Watch Me Bleed and Goes Without Saying are fine. But they can't seem to do an uptempo hard rock number without turning vocal quality into a wall of white noise. Arghh. Retain some semblance of melody, will you? Back in the day I used to refer to this stuff as "head-banging" music. Do they call it that anymore? Regardless, I get enough headaches as it is, without trying to develop more. No thumbs up for this one.
Paramore - "All We Know Is Falling": My first impression of this straight-ahead (non-screaming) rock band is that I'm not sure that the female lead singer has the chops to hang with the intensity of the music. On the loud passages she sounds thin and overwhelmed by the guitars. But on the softer parts, she sounds like she'd be good to listen to if she sang more singer/songwriter acoustic stuff like Laura Viers or Tori Amos or Imogen Heap or any number of the current crop of girl singers. But maybe that's why she does this instead.. there's too much competition as a solo girl singer. Nothing all that remarkable about this CD - middle of the road in quality and energy and sound, I'd say. I kind of like Brighter a bit above the rest as individual tracks go. Catchy. My Heart is not bad, either.
Silversun Pickups - "Carnavas": Yawwwwwn. Hm. I don't see the appeal. The vocals are ragged (not in the "distinctive" sense, either, just.. not good), the sound seems to over-emphasize fuzz, and the songs are mediocre. Hm. Not much to recommend here, J2. What do you like about this, anyway? Oh, I guess Waste It On isn't too bad. And I've heard worse than Three Seed. So, a couple of highlights here.
Matchbook Romance - "Stories and Alibis": Now this is more like it. :) Straight rock, but with good vocals, plus strong playing, interesting arrangements, a mix of energy and chill. While the lyrics aren't all that clever, they're good enough to engage the listener; and while the lead vocals are not the strongest voices, there are two of them working together, and the combination does the trick. Good stuff. And for a debut album, no less. Favorites: Tiger Lily, Stay Tonight, If All Else Fails, Promise, She'll Never Understand. No bad tracks, except... the bonus track. It's no bonus, it's just - dumb.
Plus, I have to hurry up and get these done so that I can break my Lenten fast and buy some new iTunes music. ;)
So.. here is a long overdue music review: one newer one, and half of the uploads from J2 that I accessed over Christmas (it's fun to see what the boy listens to in the car as he drives. Gives me some insights into what he thinks.) :)
Devendra Banhart - "Rejoicing in the Hands": I can't figure out if this guy is a deep-south blues man, a Django Rheinhart disciple, or is better categorized as world music, alternative, or straight folk. Whatever he is, he sure is interesting. :) What he's not, is background. You kind of have to listen. He doesn't let you contentedly snooze. Favorites: This Is The Way, Sight To Behold, Dogs They make Up The Dark, This Beard is for Siobhan, Fall, Todo Los Dolores, There Was Sun, Autumn's Child. Two thumbs up - fascinating musician.
And now the J2 stuff:
Various Artists - "Listen to Bob Dylan (A Tribute)": From Jason Mraz to James Blunt to Anberlin, kind of a mixed bag here paying tribute to Dylan. At least these people can sing. Unlike old Bob. ;) Never a real fan of Dylan, I'm not that crazy about the songs, either, even if they're sung well. But, a few highlights: Rainy Day Women is just goofy fun, no matter who sings it. Dave Melillo does a nice job with It Ain't Me, Babe, and Positively 4th Street is done fine, too. To Ramona is nice, done by Days Away. Steel Train does both I Shall Be Released and Don't Think Twice (It's Alright) well. Anberlin's Like A Rolling Stone is good. Finally Jason Mraz's 8 minute-plus version of A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall is swell - he sounds like Paul Simon at his most reflective. :) One thumb up for this 2-CD set.. unless you really like Dylan, then it's probably better.
Scary Kids Scaring Kids (eponymous): They're coming to The Varsity on May 16th. I, um.. don't think I'll be going. Screamers. :( Not that they can't make decent music. Watch Me Bleed and Goes Without Saying are fine. But they can't seem to do an uptempo hard rock number without turning vocal quality into a wall of white noise. Arghh. Retain some semblance of melody, will you? Back in the day I used to refer to this stuff as "head-banging" music. Do they call it that anymore? Regardless, I get enough headaches as it is, without trying to develop more. No thumbs up for this one.
Paramore - "All We Know Is Falling": My first impression of this straight-ahead (non-screaming) rock band is that I'm not sure that the female lead singer has the chops to hang with the intensity of the music. On the loud passages she sounds thin and overwhelmed by the guitars. But on the softer parts, she sounds like she'd be good to listen to if she sang more singer/songwriter acoustic stuff like Laura Viers or Tori Amos or Imogen Heap or any number of the current crop of girl singers. But maybe that's why she does this instead.. there's too much competition as a solo girl singer. Nothing all that remarkable about this CD - middle of the road in quality and energy and sound, I'd say. I kind of like Brighter a bit above the rest as individual tracks go. Catchy. My Heart is not bad, either.
Silversun Pickups - "Carnavas": Yawwwwwn. Hm. I don't see the appeal. The vocals are ragged (not in the "distinctive" sense, either, just.. not good), the sound seems to over-emphasize fuzz, and the songs are mediocre. Hm. Not much to recommend here, J2. What do you like about this, anyway? Oh, I guess Waste It On isn't too bad. And I've heard worse than Three Seed. So, a couple of highlights here.
Matchbook Romance - "Stories and Alibis": Now this is more like it. :) Straight rock, but with good vocals, plus strong playing, interesting arrangements, a mix of energy and chill. While the lyrics aren't all that clever, they're good enough to engage the listener; and while the lead vocals are not the strongest voices, there are two of them working together, and the combination does the trick. Good stuff. And for a debut album, no less. Favorites: Tiger Lily, Stay Tonight, If All Else Fails, Promise, She'll Never Understand. No bad tracks, except... the bonus track. It's no bonus, it's just - dumb.
Flight and Freedom
Talk about incongruous.
Flight, once upon a time, was the embodiment of freedom. Not for me. For me it's driving.
I've just finished up this book by David Gessner, called "Soaring With Fidel", in which he narrates his experience of tracking ospreys down the Eastern seaboard during their winter migration. He actually sneaks in to Cuba to see them make a stop there before they head across the Caribbean to South America.
As he was watching them soar down the mountainous spine of Cuba, he thought about how hard it was for him to get there, versus how easy it was for the birds. He wrote this:
"While flight has been overused as a symbol of freedom, it is worth noting the obvious: that the ospreys were flying in and out of the United States and Cuba without passports. There are strong reasons that flight has always been so closely associated with freedom, that an eagle is our national symbol. Movement is our first freedom. On the most basic evolutionary level, flight allows for freer movement than other modes of getting around. Freedom, at its essence, is the ability to move without restriction."
Hm. I agree with his last sentence, but not the next-to-last. And this is why I avoid airports.
Flight today is the mode of travel that has the least freedom of movement. In order to fly today, you need to show your IDs at least twice, have in your possession a bar-coded boarding pass, be scrutinized by a federal official, submit to a search of your belongings and your person (so far the only clothing I've had to remove are shoes and belt, but I'm not optimistic about the trend), have your checked luggage scanned and perhaps searched (mine are opened roughly two out of five times I fly, judging from the TSA slips I find inside), and refrain from using certain words while flying or waiting to fly, even in jest (words like bomb and terrorist.)
However, when I can drive 400 miles door to door in 7.5 hours through 3 states without once minding my language, showing my papers ("no, Vasiliiy, no papers..") or asking anyone's permission, versus fly the same distance in 6 hours (door to door including time spent politely sitting on my thumbs in the airport) and submit to all the indiginities and restrictions on my essential freedom as Gessner thinks of it...
there really is no choice. I drive. Behind the wheel, alone.. I'm free.
Flight, once upon a time, was the embodiment of freedom. Not for me. For me it's driving.
I've just finished up this book by David Gessner, called "Soaring With Fidel", in which he narrates his experience of tracking ospreys down the Eastern seaboard during their winter migration. He actually sneaks in to Cuba to see them make a stop there before they head across the Caribbean to South America.
As he was watching them soar down the mountainous spine of Cuba, he thought about how hard it was for him to get there, versus how easy it was for the birds. He wrote this:
"While flight has been overused as a symbol of freedom, it is worth noting the obvious: that the ospreys were flying in and out of the United States and Cuba without passports. There are strong reasons that flight has always been so closely associated with freedom, that an eagle is our national symbol. Movement is our first freedom. On the most basic evolutionary level, flight allows for freer movement than other modes of getting around. Freedom, at its essence, is the ability to move without restriction."
Hm. I agree with his last sentence, but not the next-to-last. And this is why I avoid airports.
Flight today is the mode of travel that has the least freedom of movement. In order to fly today, you need to show your IDs at least twice, have in your possession a bar-coded boarding pass, be scrutinized by a federal official, submit to a search of your belongings and your person (so far the only clothing I've had to remove are shoes and belt, but I'm not optimistic about the trend), have your checked luggage scanned and perhaps searched (mine are opened roughly two out of five times I fly, judging from the TSA slips I find inside), and refrain from using certain words while flying or waiting to fly, even in jest (words like bomb and terrorist.)
However, when I can drive 400 miles door to door in 7.5 hours through 3 states without once minding my language, showing my papers ("no, Vasiliiy, no papers..") or asking anyone's permission, versus fly the same distance in 6 hours (door to door including time spent politely sitting on my thumbs in the airport) and submit to all the indiginities and restrictions on my essential freedom as Gessner thinks of it...
there really is no choice. I drive. Behind the wheel, alone.. I'm free.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
In between (updated)
Ahhh. Company's gone. Dishes cleared. Food put away. And a few hours left to my "week off" to enjoy NCAA and golf on TV, while browsing the paper and finishing my osprey book. :) Nice.
We had this nice older couple from church over for dinner. (and I know what you're thinking, you snots.. "older than what? dirt? must be, to be older than you." hahahaha, very funny.)
They had no family around this weekend, either, so it was good to just eat and yak for a while, swapped all the usual getting-to-know you stories. You know the kind. You've told them so many times, you have them down to a polished tale complete with punch lines guaranteed to get a laugh, or an "oh, my!" or something. :)
But eating with these two made me, at least, feel again like I'm at an awkward age. ;) I'm in between stages.
And maybe I should consider that normal. Maybe we're always in between stages. David Gassner makes that point on the last page of his book Soaring With Fidel when he tried to figure out whether the true home of the ospreys he was tracking was their summer nesting grounds (where they worked) or their winter resting grounds (where they played.) He says:
"In the end it was a human game trying to decide and define what true home was, and the ospreys didn't care one way or another for these distinctions. But ... it occurred to me that perhaps their true home was in flight. Perhaps their home, like all our homes, was a place in between."
Yeah, maybe. Have you seen that credit card commercial where different people talk about where they are in life as being in between this and that? Like the new dad with the three-year-old in his lap and a toy to build who says he's "in between 'where's the instruction manual' and 'they grow up so fast' ", and the young professional who says that he's "right there in between an 8% mortgage and a 3% raise."
I can relate. I think I'm in between "wanting to make a lasting difference before I'm done" and "having all these lingering responsibilities from earlier years that I'm *still* not finished with."
Is it too late to join the Peace Corps?
Can I go someplace where there's no bugs?
We had this nice older couple from church over for dinner. (and I know what you're thinking, you snots.. "older than what? dirt? must be, to be older than you." hahahaha, very funny.)
They had no family around this weekend, either, so it was good to just eat and yak for a while, swapped all the usual getting-to-know you stories. You know the kind. You've told them so many times, you have them down to a polished tale complete with punch lines guaranteed to get a laugh, or an "oh, my!" or something. :)
But eating with these two made me, at least, feel again like I'm at an awkward age. ;) I'm in between stages.
And maybe I should consider that normal. Maybe we're always in between stages. David Gassner makes that point on the last page of his book Soaring With Fidel when he tried to figure out whether the true home of the ospreys he was tracking was their summer nesting grounds (where they worked) or their winter resting grounds (where they played.) He says:
"In the end it was a human game trying to decide and define what true home was, and the ospreys didn't care one way or another for these distinctions. But ... it occurred to me that perhaps their true home was in flight. Perhaps their home, like all our homes, was a place in between."
Yeah, maybe. Have you seen that credit card commercial where different people talk about where they are in life as being in between this and that? Like the new dad with the three-year-old in his lap and a toy to build who says he's "in between 'where's the instruction manual' and 'they grow up so fast' ", and the young professional who says that he's "right there in between an 8% mortgage and a 3% raise."
I can relate. I think I'm in between "wanting to make a lasting difference before I'm done" and "having all these lingering responsibilities from earlier years that I'm *still* not finished with."
Is it too late to join the Peace Corps?
Can I go someplace where there's no bugs?
The Triduum, Part 3
Darkness and silence.
The lights were subdued to begin with, but when 8PM came, all the lights went out, and only the occasional cell phone glowed as they were being turned off.
Shadows of a procession began emerging from one wing of the church, necessarily going slowly because they couldn't see their way in the darkness. Eventually they made it to the middle of the center aisle, where a basin of tinder was lit and a flame rose in the dark, driving it back. An enormous Easter Candle was lit from the flame, little candles from that, and then the servers lit the candles in the pews that each of us had, the light spreading throughout the church.
Protestants may be used to a Christmas Eve candlelight service, where something similar is done, except this time there was no soft music being played underneath, no "Silent Night". Just that beautiful Catholic silence. So very still..
Fr. Fitz sang the Exultet (about 10 minutes worth of the Gospel.) That, plus the homily.. I told one of the other candidates (who came from a background in the Assemblies of God) afterwards that it was about the clearest presentation of the Gospel in word and song that I had ever heard, and she agreed. "Right on the money, too," she said.
You would have been hard pressed as a visitor tonight to walk away and not know what we believed and why. And even if you were a "cradle Catholic" raised in the church.. how could you not be moved by the service, and the renewal of your baptismal vows?
Well, the lights stayed down, only the Easter candle burning, through all the Old Testament readings and responses, then came up one bank of lights at a time, to each measure of the Gloria, until after one full verse the church was ablaze with light, and Fr. Fitz was smiling as broadly and genuinely as I have ever seen him.. and I sure know why. I was, too. :)
After the homily, which focused on our being reconciled to God because of Easter, it was time for the Litany of the Saints. Sort of a musical listing of the heroes and heroines of the faith from Adam & Eve onward, giving you the idea that you really are part of a "great cloud of witnesses" as the author of Hebrews says.
My senses were engaged tonight. The sprinkling of the congregation with Holy Water was back again. Three times the incense was used, and sitting in the front pews, the candidates got the full experience of the smoke billowing out and diffusing, first seen, then smelled - it seemed like the presence of the Spirit of God filling the temple. The music was delightful and rich to my ears, including the Hallelujah Chorus and familiar Easter hymns. I felt the warm touch of the oil on my forehead (still there as I type this), the priest's hands on my head, my sponsor's hand on my shoulder, saw the hands of the congregation extended toward me, saw them all smiling, heard the applause of welcome (almost a cheer!), and of course the taste of the bread and wine - finally! :)
All my senses engaged: thank you, God. I think I recognized you with them tonight. Finally. Finally.
After the Eucharist, since we newbies went first, there was lots of time to kneel and pray. I made good use of the time. :) I'm afraid I lost track of time, in fact. After praying for those I love, my mind went silent for a bit and I felt my heart warming, and a grin spreading across my face. Psalm 51 came unbidden to mind, and the section that begins "create in me a clean heart, O God", and ends with "restore unto me the joy of your salvation" looped through my prayers again and again, and I felt that joy being restored as I prayed. When my hands moved from covering my face to being cupped in anticipation of receiving grace, I must have had this beatific look on my face.. then I heard the kneelers thumping upwards and realized.. oops. I need to be done here. ;)
Now, who knows what lasting change has happened over these last months, culminating in Easter Vigil? Maybe lots, maybe none. But I will say this:
I felt new inside.
Now to sleep fast. 6AM alarm for a 7AM run-through of worship team at EnCompass comes really early. Then after second service some new people from church come over for Easter dinner.. it'll be a full day Sunday. But a good one, I think. :)
He is risen!
The lights were subdued to begin with, but when 8PM came, all the lights went out, and only the occasional cell phone glowed as they were being turned off.
Shadows of a procession began emerging from one wing of the church, necessarily going slowly because they couldn't see their way in the darkness. Eventually they made it to the middle of the center aisle, where a basin of tinder was lit and a flame rose in the dark, driving it back. An enormous Easter Candle was lit from the flame, little candles from that, and then the servers lit the candles in the pews that each of us had, the light spreading throughout the church.
Protestants may be used to a Christmas Eve candlelight service, where something similar is done, except this time there was no soft music being played underneath, no "Silent Night". Just that beautiful Catholic silence. So very still..
Fr. Fitz sang the Exultet (about 10 minutes worth of the Gospel.) That, plus the homily.. I told one of the other candidates (who came from a background in the Assemblies of God) afterwards that it was about the clearest presentation of the Gospel in word and song that I had ever heard, and she agreed. "Right on the money, too," she said.
You would have been hard pressed as a visitor tonight to walk away and not know what we believed and why. And even if you were a "cradle Catholic" raised in the church.. how could you not be moved by the service, and the renewal of your baptismal vows?
Well, the lights stayed down, only the Easter candle burning, through all the Old Testament readings and responses, then came up one bank of lights at a time, to each measure of the Gloria, until after one full verse the church was ablaze with light, and Fr. Fitz was smiling as broadly and genuinely as I have ever seen him.. and I sure know why. I was, too. :)
After the homily, which focused on our being reconciled to God because of Easter, it was time for the Litany of the Saints. Sort of a musical listing of the heroes and heroines of the faith from Adam & Eve onward, giving you the idea that you really are part of a "great cloud of witnesses" as the author of Hebrews says.
My senses were engaged tonight. The sprinkling of the congregation with Holy Water was back again. Three times the incense was used, and sitting in the front pews, the candidates got the full experience of the smoke billowing out and diffusing, first seen, then smelled - it seemed like the presence of the Spirit of God filling the temple. The music was delightful and rich to my ears, including the Hallelujah Chorus and familiar Easter hymns. I felt the warm touch of the oil on my forehead (still there as I type this), the priest's hands on my head, my sponsor's hand on my shoulder, saw the hands of the congregation extended toward me, saw them all smiling, heard the applause of welcome (almost a cheer!), and of course the taste of the bread and wine - finally! :)
All my senses engaged: thank you, God. I think I recognized you with them tonight. Finally. Finally.
After the Eucharist, since we newbies went first, there was lots of time to kneel and pray. I made good use of the time. :) I'm afraid I lost track of time, in fact. After praying for those I love, my mind went silent for a bit and I felt my heart warming, and a grin spreading across my face. Psalm 51 came unbidden to mind, and the section that begins "create in me a clean heart, O God", and ends with "restore unto me the joy of your salvation" looped through my prayers again and again, and I felt that joy being restored as I prayed. When my hands moved from covering my face to being cupped in anticipation of receiving grace, I must have had this beatific look on my face.. then I heard the kneelers thumping upwards and realized.. oops. I need to be done here. ;)
Now, who knows what lasting change has happened over these last months, culminating in Easter Vigil? Maybe lots, maybe none. But I will say this:
I felt new inside.
Now to sleep fast. 6AM alarm for a 7AM run-through of worship team at EnCompass comes really early. Then after second service some new people from church come over for Easter dinner.. it'll be a full day Sunday. But a good one, I think. :)
He is risen!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
You mean I get to relax?
Wow.
Now that company is gone and the snow on the drive is melting, Easter Vigil rehearsal is done, and there is no homework due for the first week of classes next week...
I'm freeeeeeeee!
Temporarily.
But I'll enjoy it. A day of recreational reading, catching up on music uploads from Christmas, going over my songs for Easter morning worship team, flipping between NCAA and the Doral Open on TV... ahhhh. Nice.
Sure, it's short-lived, but, between now and leaving for Easter Vigil tonight, I'm going to savor the unstructured moments. :)
Now that company is gone and the snow on the drive is melting, Easter Vigil rehearsal is done, and there is no homework due for the first week of classes next week...
I'm freeeeeeeee!
Temporarily.
But I'll enjoy it. A day of recreational reading, catching up on music uploads from Christmas, going over my songs for Easter morning worship team, flipping between NCAA and the Doral Open on TV... ahhhh. Nice.
Sure, it's short-lived, but, between now and leaving for Easter Vigil tonight, I'm going to savor the unstructured moments. :)
The Triduum, Part 2
Much less color and pageantry to this service. Somber, solemn.
It began with a tympani slowly tolling out a pulse, the officiants entering in silence, picking up where the prior service left off.
No liturgy guide this time. Every response was a simple tune, and easy to learn. Small ensemble vocal group and a few instruments - oboe, cello, french horn, piano, drum - but they were the best the parish had, and very very good. There was also good acapella singing (and they stayed on pitch - even when the congregation joined!)
Lots of time on our knees during this service. Mine ache a bit. Long intercessions this time around, too. No real time to pray for the silent intentions of your own heart, for those you love, but.. I found time. :)
The highlight of the service was the veneration of the cross. Early on, this idea of veneration made me a little suspicious, but as RCIA classes wore on, I got the spirit behind it. It's sort of a semantics issue to some degree. Protestants tend to think that veneration = worship. But that's not how Catholics view it.
Any and all sacramentals are nothing but worship "aids", designed to help you remember something, or assist in your devotion to Christ. They help you focus on and draw closer to God, so it's a high degree of respect you're showing for whatever it is, but not worship. What you worship is the God behind the symbol.
So, the church goes quiet again, and the officiants all go to the back. The tympani rolls its slow cadence, as the priest comes up the aisle with 6 strong men carrying a life-size hand-made cross of timbers. Every 10 paces or so the priest stops and sings a refrain, and the congregation echoes.
Once at the front by the altar, the cross is raised at about a 30 degree angle and propped up on two wood boxes. Then all kneel, and the priest prostrates himself on the floor.
Silence again. That wonderful Catholic silence... so majestic and profound. One minute. Two. Three.
Finally he rises and then calls the congregation to come forward and ... I guess I would call it "pay their respects" ... to that symbol of the extent to which God's love went to reach us. We all filed up the center aisle in a double column that split in the middle once it reached the long section of the cross, where people stopped to express their devotion in whatever way they wished.
Some just stood and bowed. Some took a knee, some let a hand drift across and linger on the cross beam. I went to both knees and bent my neck in submission, bracing myself on the rough beam as I rose. Then back to my seat and the kneeler again.
The Eucharist was brought back from seclusion in the little chapel, and processed to the altar for a wine-less communion service. But.. it was running long, and I had dinner to make for my brother-in-law and family who were coming here to fly to Florida for Spring Break. So... I left before they were done. :( Next year I'll stay.
But the basil and lime tilapia I made was really good! :) I still don't have a proper zester for the lime, though, so I used this cool little palm-held peeler thingie I got recently and shaved off some lime rind - got it pretty thin and fine, even though it wasn't exactly proper. ;)
Then a tenebrae service at the Evangelical church (tenebrae is Latin for shadows, and the meeting hall was lit only by candles, which was also very cool) followed dinner, with the visiting relatives along. Cards after, plus commiserating on how our NCAA brackets were falling apart.
A nice afternoon and evening. And part three is still to come - Easter Vigil, Confirmation and first Eucharist. :)
Right now, though.. I'm really tired. And the relatives get up at 4:30 AM tomorrow. Hope they're quiet.. shhhhh. You have nice time in Florida, now. Shhhhhh. :)
It began with a tympani slowly tolling out a pulse, the officiants entering in silence, picking up where the prior service left off.
No liturgy guide this time. Every response was a simple tune, and easy to learn. Small ensemble vocal group and a few instruments - oboe, cello, french horn, piano, drum - but they were the best the parish had, and very very good. There was also good acapella singing (and they stayed on pitch - even when the congregation joined!)
Lots of time on our knees during this service. Mine ache a bit. Long intercessions this time around, too. No real time to pray for the silent intentions of your own heart, for those you love, but.. I found time. :)
The highlight of the service was the veneration of the cross. Early on, this idea of veneration made me a little suspicious, but as RCIA classes wore on, I got the spirit behind it. It's sort of a semantics issue to some degree. Protestants tend to think that veneration = worship. But that's not how Catholics view it.
Any and all sacramentals are nothing but worship "aids", designed to help you remember something, or assist in your devotion to Christ. They help you focus on and draw closer to God, so it's a high degree of respect you're showing for whatever it is, but not worship. What you worship is the God behind the symbol.
So, the church goes quiet again, and the officiants all go to the back. The tympani rolls its slow cadence, as the priest comes up the aisle with 6 strong men carrying a life-size hand-made cross of timbers. Every 10 paces or so the priest stops and sings a refrain, and the congregation echoes.
Once at the front by the altar, the cross is raised at about a 30 degree angle and propped up on two wood boxes. Then all kneel, and the priest prostrates himself on the floor.
Silence again. That wonderful Catholic silence... so majestic and profound. One minute. Two. Three.
Finally he rises and then calls the congregation to come forward and ... I guess I would call it "pay their respects" ... to that symbol of the extent to which God's love went to reach us. We all filed up the center aisle in a double column that split in the middle once it reached the long section of the cross, where people stopped to express their devotion in whatever way they wished.
Some just stood and bowed. Some took a knee, some let a hand drift across and linger on the cross beam. I went to both knees and bent my neck in submission, bracing myself on the rough beam as I rose. Then back to my seat and the kneeler again.
The Eucharist was brought back from seclusion in the little chapel, and processed to the altar for a wine-less communion service. But.. it was running long, and I had dinner to make for my brother-in-law and family who were coming here to fly to Florida for Spring Break. So... I left before they were done. :( Next year I'll stay.
But the basil and lime tilapia I made was really good! :) I still don't have a proper zester for the lime, though, so I used this cool little palm-held peeler thingie I got recently and shaved off some lime rind - got it pretty thin and fine, even though it wasn't exactly proper. ;)
Then a tenebrae service at the Evangelical church (tenebrae is Latin for shadows, and the meeting hall was lit only by candles, which was also very cool) followed dinner, with the visiting relatives along. Cards after, plus commiserating on how our NCAA brackets were falling apart.
A nice afternoon and evening. And part three is still to come - Easter Vigil, Confirmation and first Eucharist. :)
Right now, though.. I'm really tired. And the relatives get up at 4:30 AM tomorrow. Hope they're quiet.. shhhhh. You have nice time in Florida, now. Shhhhhh. :)
Friday, March 21, 2008
Sole Provider, Sole Comforter
"As long as Jesus is one of many options,
he is no option.
As long as you can carry your burdens alone,
you don't need a burden-bearer.
As long as your situation brings you no grief,
you will receive no comfort.
And as long as you can take him or leave him,
you might as well leave him,
because he won't be taken half-heartedly.
But when you mourn,
when you get to the point of sorrow for your sins,
when you admit that you have no other option but to cast all your cares on him, and when there is truly no other name that you can call,
then cast all your cares on him,
for he is waiting in the midst of the storm."
----- Max Lucado
he is no option.
As long as you can carry your burdens alone,
you don't need a burden-bearer.
As long as your situation brings you no grief,
you will receive no comfort.
And as long as you can take him or leave him,
you might as well leave him,
because he won't be taken half-heartedly.
But when you mourn,
when you get to the point of sorrow for your sins,
when you admit that you have no other option but to cast all your cares on him, and when there is truly no other name that you can call,
then cast all your cares on him,
for he is waiting in the midst of the storm."
----- Max Lucado
The Triduum, Part 1
Oh, my goodness.
What a beautiful and striking service last night. So full of symbolism.
It didn't take long for me to recognize where they were going with it. As soon as the priest said "tonight we don't celebrate like other nights", I knew there would be allusions to the Passover Seder. Having led a seder myself for so many years, I could see what was coming when he said "put your books down, and listen to the story." :)
A child and an old man came to the microphone. The child asked the four questions (modified a bit to suit, of course), and an old man gave the answers. And a lector (which I'm on the list for and will get to do soon.. yay!) told the story of the outgoing from Egypt. The whole deal. Really good! :)
In addition to that, there was a renewal of the vows of the priest and deacon, and a call to renewal of service to the congregation. Knowing what I'll be volunteering to do, it felt good to stand and answer the questions, too. It seemed right.
Then a foot-washing service (more on that later), and after that the liturgy of the Eucharist. And we stood for the whole thing, and the whole thing was sung. The whole thing! :) Fr. Fitz sang all the usually spoken prayers, and every congregational response was sung. Non-stop singing for a half-hour. So cool..
After that, something called the transfer of the Eucharist. They move the unused elements to a small chapel that's kind of tucked away. I think the notion behind it is to represent Jesus' heading to a secluded place (Gethsemane) to pray, since after that was done, those words from Luke 22:39-43 were read, and everyone was silent. They just filed out without a word. It was very poignant - the silence. Catholics are so very good at silence. It's moving when they do it - not uncomfortable at all.
But both during the processional (the bread and wine were brought in immediately instead of halfway through the service), and during this transfer thing, it was led by a very discreet but lovely dancer who moved so majestically and beautifully, while carrying a basket of bread, or towels, or a bowl of burning incense. All this was accompanied by the choir singing verses by Thomas Aquinas from the 1200s, sung in Gregorian chant style. I felt connected to so many generations past who have celebrated these things for centuries upon centuries. Marvelous.
As the Eucharist was being processed around the church, the procession happened to go right in front of where I was kneeling. The fragrance from the hissing, crackling incense in the lead wafted over me, and reminded me of the presence of God in the twin pillars of cloud by day and fire by night that led the Israelites through the desert. Then, at the end of the procession, came the priest with the Eucharist. No one else was reacting to it, but as he passed by, I couldn't help but bow my head a little as the Presence passed by me. It really was a holy moment for me.
But back to the foot-washing thing. I've been part of those in other settings several times over the years. They have never connected with me, last night being no exception. It seems so anachronistic as to not be a viable metaphor anymore. Jesus clearly "threw a curveball", as the priest said last night, when he did this during the Passover meal. But does it connect with our culture today? At all?
I had a clue from the church website that this would be a part of the service, and I wound up thinking all day about what Jesus might have done if He wanted to make a similar stunning statement of servanthood in this culture. What would it be today?
Maybe.. if you were one of a bunch of invited guests at someone's house, and when they were busy entertaining others, you snuck off and cleaned the bathrooms for them? Hm. No.. kinda presumptuous. Weren't they clean enough for you?
Oh, how about this? Suppose you were holding a fundraiser for, say, Barack Obama, and you had a bunch of well-heeled potential donors over to your house to meet him when he was in town for a speech. You are going to have some hors d'ouvres catered in, when his campaign manager calls and says - don't prepare anything. Just have beverages, please.
Then, what if Barack himself comes in, greets everyone, chats a while and then heads back out to the car and comes in with a couple of grocery bags. What the..?
He says he has this great appetizer recipe of his mamma's that he wants to make for everyone. He did the shopping, then does all the cooking, talks about his political positions on issues while he serves the appetizer, and then does the dishes up afterwards, helps people on with their coats as they leave. :)
Now that would be a stunner, where the guest of honor does all the work, all the serving, all the cleanup. And it makes more sense to me than washing feet does today. Somehow I think we need a better metaphor for servanthood. I'll keep thinking on it. I like metaphor. :)
Anyway, lovely service last night. I can hardly wait to see what happens today at 3.
What a beautiful and striking service last night. So full of symbolism.
It didn't take long for me to recognize where they were going with it. As soon as the priest said "tonight we don't celebrate like other nights", I knew there would be allusions to the Passover Seder. Having led a seder myself for so many years, I could see what was coming when he said "put your books down, and listen to the story." :)
A child and an old man came to the microphone. The child asked the four questions (modified a bit to suit, of course), and an old man gave the answers. And a lector (which I'm on the list for and will get to do soon.. yay!) told the story of the outgoing from Egypt. The whole deal. Really good! :)
In addition to that, there was a renewal of the vows of the priest and deacon, and a call to renewal of service to the congregation. Knowing what I'll be volunteering to do, it felt good to stand and answer the questions, too. It seemed right.
Then a foot-washing service (more on that later), and after that the liturgy of the Eucharist. And we stood for the whole thing, and the whole thing was sung. The whole thing! :) Fr. Fitz sang all the usually spoken prayers, and every congregational response was sung. Non-stop singing for a half-hour. So cool..
After that, something called the transfer of the Eucharist. They move the unused elements to a small chapel that's kind of tucked away. I think the notion behind it is to represent Jesus' heading to a secluded place (Gethsemane) to pray, since after that was done, those words from Luke 22:39-43 were read, and everyone was silent. They just filed out without a word. It was very poignant - the silence. Catholics are so very good at silence. It's moving when they do it - not uncomfortable at all.
But both during the processional (the bread and wine were brought in immediately instead of halfway through the service), and during this transfer thing, it was led by a very discreet but lovely dancer who moved so majestically and beautifully, while carrying a basket of bread, or towels, or a bowl of burning incense. All this was accompanied by the choir singing verses by Thomas Aquinas from the 1200s, sung in Gregorian chant style. I felt connected to so many generations past who have celebrated these things for centuries upon centuries. Marvelous.
As the Eucharist was being processed around the church, the procession happened to go right in front of where I was kneeling. The fragrance from the hissing, crackling incense in the lead wafted over me, and reminded me of the presence of God in the twin pillars of cloud by day and fire by night that led the Israelites through the desert. Then, at the end of the procession, came the priest with the Eucharist. No one else was reacting to it, but as he passed by, I couldn't help but bow my head a little as the Presence passed by me. It really was a holy moment for me.
But back to the foot-washing thing. I've been part of those in other settings several times over the years. They have never connected with me, last night being no exception. It seems so anachronistic as to not be a viable metaphor anymore. Jesus clearly "threw a curveball", as the priest said last night, when he did this during the Passover meal. But does it connect with our culture today? At all?
I had a clue from the church website that this would be a part of the service, and I wound up thinking all day about what Jesus might have done if He wanted to make a similar stunning statement of servanthood in this culture. What would it be today?
Maybe.. if you were one of a bunch of invited guests at someone's house, and when they were busy entertaining others, you snuck off and cleaned the bathrooms for them? Hm. No.. kinda presumptuous. Weren't they clean enough for you?
Oh, how about this? Suppose you were holding a fundraiser for, say, Barack Obama, and you had a bunch of well-heeled potential donors over to your house to meet him when he was in town for a speech. You are going to have some hors d'ouvres catered in, when his campaign manager calls and says - don't prepare anything. Just have beverages, please.
Then, what if Barack himself comes in, greets everyone, chats a while and then heads back out to the car and comes in with a couple of grocery bags. What the..?
He says he has this great appetizer recipe of his mamma's that he wants to make for everyone. He did the shopping, then does all the cooking, talks about his political positions on issues while he serves the appetizer, and then does the dishes up afterwards, helps people on with their coats as they leave. :)
Now that would be a stunner, where the guest of honor does all the work, all the serving, all the cleanup. And it makes more sense to me than washing feet does today. Somehow I think we need a better metaphor for servanthood. I'll keep thinking on it. I like metaphor. :)
Anyway, lovely service last night. I can hardly wait to see what happens today at 3.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Write your name
"Write your blessed name, O Lord, upon my heart,
there to remain so indelibly engraved,
that no prosperity, no adversity,
shall ever move me from your love."
----- Thomas a' Kempis
there to remain so indelibly engraved,
that no prosperity, no adversity,
shall ever move me from your love."
----- Thomas a' Kempis
Why blue?
So why did they pick the color blue to describe feeling sort of down?
Having "the blues" can mean you're feeling lonesome, discouraged, blase', disappointed, somber, disaffected, grumpy, depressed, glum, despondent, morose... all of those things. Some of which sound kind of familiar. :]
But why blue?
There must be an etymology of the colloquial phrase. But I haven't found one that satisfies yet.
And that's the problem with having the blues, isn't it? Nothing satisifes. :( Except of course the thing you want but don't have. You know.. a home, a friend, a job, a girl, whatever. If you only had it..
Why then, your grey skies would turn to blue! :)
But wait.. I thought blue..
oh, never mind. This is why I'm not a linguist by trade. I get confused. Give me two columns of numbers to compare, though.. and I'm all set.
Or, give me a topic to write about. Even if it's one that I don't get. Like this one.
Ha - not understanding something has never held me back from writing about it before.. heck, I do that in seminary all the time. ;)
Having "the blues" can mean you're feeling lonesome, discouraged, blase', disappointed, somber, disaffected, grumpy, depressed, glum, despondent, morose... all of those things. Some of which sound kind of familiar. :]
But why blue?
There must be an etymology of the colloquial phrase. But I haven't found one that satisfies yet.
And that's the problem with having the blues, isn't it? Nothing satisifes. :( Except of course the thing you want but don't have. You know.. a home, a friend, a job, a girl, whatever. If you only had it..
Why then, your grey skies would turn to blue! :)
But wait.. I thought blue..
oh, never mind. This is why I'm not a linguist by trade. I get confused. Give me two columns of numbers to compare, though.. and I'm all set.
Or, give me a topic to write about. Even if it's one that I don't get. Like this one.
Ha - not understanding something has never held me back from writing about it before.. heck, I do that in seminary all the time. ;)
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
One defining moment?
"The notion that there is a moment - one moment - that defines a person's life is outdated. For post-postmodernists, or whatever we've become, it is hopelessly old-fashioned to think of human lives not just as narratives but as narratives with a climax. We are taught not to accept those fairy-tale notions, and for good reason.
What could be more archaic than stamping a narrative on the random moments of existence?
But at the same time we crave narrative."
----- David Gessner, Soaring With Fidel
This whole week Christians build toward a remembrance of one defining moment in a Person's life. How old-fashioned of us.
But then, Jesus was no post-modernist. He was both intra- and supra-cultural. Time and definition and convention He defies, but works within them all.
And for One with an infinite of moments to His existence (as the confession of faith says: He was, and is, and is to come), there was this one long holiday weekend in the amazing narrative of His life that pretty much stood out above the rest...
What could be more archaic than stamping a narrative on the random moments of existence?
But at the same time we crave narrative."
----- David Gessner, Soaring With Fidel
This whole week Christians build toward a remembrance of one defining moment in a Person's life. How old-fashioned of us.
But then, Jesus was no post-modernist. He was both intra- and supra-cultural. Time and definition and convention He defies, but works within them all.
And for One with an infinite of moments to His existence (as the confession of faith says: He was, and is, and is to come), there was this one long holiday weekend in the amazing narrative of His life that pretty much stood out above the rest...
catalyst
.
there's a poem inside
just waiting for a reason
to give of itself
it never takes much
just a touch, a look, a word
the floodgate opens
.
there's a poem inside
just waiting for a reason
to give of itself
it never takes much
just a touch, a look, a word
the floodgate opens
.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
"Wake up fundies!!!"
I stumbled upon this thread on the web last night, and couldn't help but comment. I must!
Maybe the person who had tagged this post only liked it because of being an astronomy buff or something, or thought the little scale planet models were cool, and didn't actually agree with the original poster's reasoning (for which you have to read all the way to the end..), I don't really know.
Regardless, I couldn't help feeling like I'd heard this line of argument somewhere before. Hmmm...
Turns out I had. About 3,000 years ago, my soon-to-be patron saint had roughly the same question: in light of the vastness of the universe, what would God care about puny little us, anyway?
Now, when the poster (from Uruguay, yet. hm. the internet sure makes the world smaller! it almost feels like the size of those little models..) was looking at these pictures and writing this thread, he/she must have thought (s)he was being original, I suppose. But, no. No real new thought here, just a remix of a lot of other people's musings over the millennia.
For example, the poster took the same sense of awe & wonder & incomprehensibility at the thought of the universe compared to us (v.3-4 below), but just came up with a very different conclusion than did the poet-king, David.
And as usual.. I prefer the original to the remix. :)
Psalm 8
For the director of music. According to gittith.
A psalm of David.
1 O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
above the heavens.
2 From the lips of children and infants
you have ordained praise
because of your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger.
3 When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
5 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.
6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:
7 all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,
8 the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.
9 O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
So one person looks at the vast universe and says: "look at this! There is no god who could possibly care about us." Another person looks at the same vastness and says: "how amazing! God's love and care for us is as vast as all this.."
What do you think?
Maybe the person who had tagged this post only liked it because of being an astronomy buff or something, or thought the little scale planet models were cool, and didn't actually agree with the original poster's reasoning (for which you have to read all the way to the end..), I don't really know.
Regardless, I couldn't help feeling like I'd heard this line of argument somewhere before. Hmmm...
Turns out I had. About 3,000 years ago, my soon-to-be patron saint had roughly the same question: in light of the vastness of the universe, what would God care about puny little us, anyway?
Now, when the poster (from Uruguay, yet. hm. the internet sure makes the world smaller! it almost feels like the size of those little models..) was looking at these pictures and writing this thread, he/she must have thought (s)he was being original, I suppose. But, no. No real new thought here, just a remix of a lot of other people's musings over the millennia.
For example, the poster took the same sense of awe & wonder & incomprehensibility at the thought of the universe compared to us (v.3-4 below), but just came up with a very different conclusion than did the poet-king, David.
And as usual.. I prefer the original to the remix. :)
Psalm 8
For the director of music. According to gittith.
A psalm of David.
1 O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
above the heavens.
2 From the lips of children and infants
you have ordained praise
because of your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger.
3 When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
5 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.
6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:
7 all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,
8 the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.
9 O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
So one person looks at the vast universe and says: "look at this! There is no god who could possibly care about us." Another person looks at the same vastness and says: "how amazing! God's love and care for us is as vast as all this.."
What do you think?
When I dream
When I dream that you love me, you’ll surely forgive;
Extend not your anger to sleep;
For in visions alone your affection can live,—
I rise, and it leaves me to weep.
Then, Morpheus! envelop my faculties fast,
Shed o’er me your languor benign;
Should the dream of to-night but resemble the last,
What rapture celestial is mine!
They tell us that slumber, the sister of death,
Mortality’s emblem is given;
To fate how I long to resign my frail breath,
If this be a foretaste of Heaven!
Ah! frown not, sweet Lady, unbend your soft brow,
Nor deem me too happy in this;
If I sin in my dream, I atone it for now,
Thus doom’d, but to gaze upon bliss.
Though in visions, sweet Lady, perhaps you may smile,
Oh! think not my penance deficient!
When dreams of your presence my slumbers beguile,
To awake, will be torture sufficient.
----- Lord Byron, "To M.S.G."
Extend not your anger to sleep;
For in visions alone your affection can live,—
I rise, and it leaves me to weep.
Then, Morpheus! envelop my faculties fast,
Shed o’er me your languor benign;
Should the dream of to-night but resemble the last,
What rapture celestial is mine!
They tell us that slumber, the sister of death,
Mortality’s emblem is given;
To fate how I long to resign my frail breath,
If this be a foretaste of Heaven!
Ah! frown not, sweet Lady, unbend your soft brow,
Nor deem me too happy in this;
If I sin in my dream, I atone it for now,
Thus doom’d, but to gaze upon bliss.
Though in visions, sweet Lady, perhaps you may smile,
Oh! think not my penance deficient!
When dreams of your presence my slumbers beguile,
To awake, will be torture sufficient.
----- Lord Byron, "To M.S.G."
Monday, March 17, 2008
Concert AND Brackets
Nothing like multi-tasking, and Sunday was a day for it.
After church, I finished and emailed off the last paper to the TS502 prof around 2PM, went for a run, read the Sunday paper, watched Tiger come back and stay undefeated for 2008, had some dinner... then when the NCAA selection show got finished, I quickly printed out the full bracket, and took a couple of copies along, folder away and tucked into a chest pocket in my bibs. Then, off to the concert venue!
By the time I got there, they still hadn't opened the doors, so.. I wasn't late! :) But, was the line ever long... And, it got a little colder, too, and a breeze had picked up, so I was chilled when I got inside. Brrr.. It certainly got warm in there later, but I left my coat on for a while.
People watching was interesting, both in line, and inside. Quite a mix of ages, too. There were a ton under thirty, but a large portion between 30 and 45, too. I could hardly believe all the smokers! Wow. I thought, I guess, that it was going out of fashion, particularly among the under-30 crowd. Guess not. People were saying "I need one more before we go inside.." Hm. Addiction is alive and well; reminds me of a topic for a theology paper.. ;)
First Ave. is not as intimate as The Varsity, and there is a decided lack of bar stools. Wound up standing for 4 hours. No sore feet this morning, though.. must be the running. At least I had a spot at a counter, so I could set down my water glass, and do some writing on a flat surface.
There was a loooooong wait for the first band, HoneyHoney. I wound up doing my bracket picks while I waited. :) I was a little miffed about Wisconsin's 3rd seed. Hmpf. I think they got disrespected. I have them running the bracket until they hit Kansas. So do some of my co-workers, I found out this morning during some pre-meeting chatter. I think they'll make the Sweet 16 for sure, but maybe the Elite 8, although I don't know. It's much like I feel about Marquette getting by Stanford; I hope so, but I don't know.. it's a good reason to have both a logical bracket and a sentimental one. :)
So by the time the first band comes on, I'm all set with my picks, just have to go to ESPN.com when I get home and enter them. One more task in a task-full Sunday. HoneyHoney was kind of alternative country, I guess. Mediocre. Then there's a solid half-hour wait for the next band. Why so long? At Varsity, they only need 10 minutes to switch gear. Much crisper.
But the second warmup... wow. Really, really good. Matt Nathanson is the singer/songwriter - no name for his band. But boy, they could play, and he had a great rapport with the audience. They were super-loud for him and were singing along with his songs. After Lent, I have a little iTunes shopping to do.. :)
Then, another long wait, and the lead act comes on. Lifehouse is a good band, strong playing, nice sound. It's just... oh, I don't know. Their music isn't as - happy? :) Lyric-wise, it's not that different, but their demeanor on stage and the approachability of the tunes isn't as good as Matt Nathanson was. So.. I listened to half a dozen songs.. and left. I saw the best of the night in full, I think. Funny how concerts are like that. Sometimes you just relate better to one of the warm-up acts. That's been the case for me three times in the last 5 concerts. Hm.
Anyway, not a bad night out. :) Felt like a reward after finishing the paper. Yeah. Good job.
After church, I finished and emailed off the last paper to the TS502 prof around 2PM, went for a run, read the Sunday paper, watched Tiger come back and stay undefeated for 2008, had some dinner... then when the NCAA selection show got finished, I quickly printed out the full bracket, and took a couple of copies along, folder away and tucked into a chest pocket in my bibs. Then, off to the concert venue!
By the time I got there, they still hadn't opened the doors, so.. I wasn't late! :) But, was the line ever long... And, it got a little colder, too, and a breeze had picked up, so I was chilled when I got inside. Brrr.. It certainly got warm in there later, but I left my coat on for a while.
People watching was interesting, both in line, and inside. Quite a mix of ages, too. There were a ton under thirty, but a large portion between 30 and 45, too. I could hardly believe all the smokers! Wow. I thought, I guess, that it was going out of fashion, particularly among the under-30 crowd. Guess not. People were saying "I need one more before we go inside.." Hm. Addiction is alive and well; reminds me of a topic for a theology paper.. ;)
First Ave. is not as intimate as The Varsity, and there is a decided lack of bar stools. Wound up standing for 4 hours. No sore feet this morning, though.. must be the running. At least I had a spot at a counter, so I could set down my water glass, and do some writing on a flat surface.
There was a loooooong wait for the first band, HoneyHoney. I wound up doing my bracket picks while I waited. :) I was a little miffed about Wisconsin's 3rd seed. Hmpf. I think they got disrespected. I have them running the bracket until they hit Kansas. So do some of my co-workers, I found out this morning during some pre-meeting chatter. I think they'll make the Sweet 16 for sure, but maybe the Elite 8, although I don't know. It's much like I feel about Marquette getting by Stanford; I hope so, but I don't know.. it's a good reason to have both a logical bracket and a sentimental one. :)
So by the time the first band comes on, I'm all set with my picks, just have to go to ESPN.com when I get home and enter them. One more task in a task-full Sunday. HoneyHoney was kind of alternative country, I guess. Mediocre. Then there's a solid half-hour wait for the next band. Why so long? At Varsity, they only need 10 minutes to switch gear. Much crisper.
But the second warmup... wow. Really, really good. Matt Nathanson is the singer/songwriter - no name for his band. But boy, they could play, and he had a great rapport with the audience. They were super-loud for him and were singing along with his songs. After Lent, I have a little iTunes shopping to do.. :)
Then, another long wait, and the lead act comes on. Lifehouse is a good band, strong playing, nice sound. It's just... oh, I don't know. Their music isn't as - happy? :) Lyric-wise, it's not that different, but their demeanor on stage and the approachability of the tunes isn't as good as Matt Nathanson was. So.. I listened to half a dozen songs.. and left. I saw the best of the night in full, I think. Funny how concerts are like that. Sometimes you just relate better to one of the warm-up acts. That's been the case for me three times in the last 5 concerts. Hm.
Anyway, not a bad night out. :) Felt like a reward after finishing the paper. Yeah. Good job.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
The Kingdom of God
1. Is different.
2. Is about the heart.
3. Relates to real life.
4. Is in your face.
5. Is paradoxical.
Success in the Kingdom of God is:
A. Servanthood.
B. Humility.
C. Selflessness.
This was the thrust of the sermon a couple of weeks ago. Today the pastor talked again about the upside-down nature of the Kingdom, as Jesus taught about it. You know, the last shall be first, the greatest among you will be servant of all, to lose your life is to keep it, one person sows and another reaps, the weak are made strong and the strong weak, blessed are the poor, the hungry and thirsty, etc. Very counter-intuitive, this Kingdom.
He then talked about senseless tragedies. Which is really redundant, isn't it? Who ever heard of a sensible tragedy? I mean, aren't all tragedies senseless? Isn't that what makes them tragic? Jesus' suffering and death was certainly tragic - he didn't deserve what happened.
But.. it went from senseless to making sense, after the Resurrection. Then, it all clicked. With the disciples and with us. From the vantage point of the other side of the Resurrection, the tragedy of the cross makes sense. We see God's design in it.
And we can rejoice despite the tragic suffering, because.. there was a purpose to it after all. "For the joy set before Him, Christ endured the cross", St. Paul says. And what was the joy set before Him?
Us.
"God was reconciling the world to Himself through Christ", St. Paul says. We are the prize, the reason for Jesus' suffering... and the reason for His joy.
The Kingdom of God is upside down. Suffering brings joy. And not just for Jesus. But for a whole history of martyrs. And for us who have not yet suffered to the point of shedding our blood. We have joy because of the suffering of others.
Not schadenfreude. Not joy AT the suffering of others. But as a *result* of. Very counter-intuitive, this Kingdom. We can expect the unexpected here.
Oh, the worship leader said something today that I both liked and didn't like. He said:
"The truth we experience always trumps the truth that we think."
Which sounds a lot like "the heart has reasons which reason cannot know", but not exactly.
His point was that you can reason something out, know it intellectually, but until it's lived, it isn't really known. You can know some things about true love, for instance. But until you do love, truly.. what do you really know? What's lived out is always more powerful than what's only thought about.
Now, I don't like all of that idea, because I like to imagine that reason is enough, and that we can know things to be true even if we haven't experienced them.
But his point, which I can't argue with - I've lived it - is that when we experience something that runs counter to what we think is true.. what we know by experience tends to overthrow our beliefs.
And I get that. It's been the nature of my life for several years now. I know some things by experience now that shake, disprove and completely unravel principles that I have held to be true for years.
But isn't faith "the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen"? Sure it is. But faith is never pure reason - there is always an experiential component to faith, albeit a spiritual one. And without the spiritual component to that experience - a sense of meeting God, of closeness to Him - faith is understandably weak and ripe for upset.
With the experience of encountering God, though.. faith becomes strong and sure, because we have known, in some measure, Him in whom we believe. And the truth of that experience either trumps what we may think... or reinforces it. St. Paul on the road to Damascus, or St. Thomas in the upper room - they are our brothers in this lived out experience of spiritual truth.
So, dear reader... this Holy Week... will you seek God with me? Seek this upside-down, counter-intuitive Kingdom with me? Will you look to experience Him in the course of your walk toward Easter? Will you let your heart be touched by His?
Know along with me then, by your own experience, the mercy and grace that He offers you - let Him remind you of it this week, in a tangible, spiritual way. Know the truth of God's love for you - and let that truth make it possible for you to live, and love, freely.
2. Is about the heart.
3. Relates to real life.
4. Is in your face.
5. Is paradoxical.
Success in the Kingdom of God is:
A. Servanthood.
B. Humility.
C. Selflessness.
This was the thrust of the sermon a couple of weeks ago. Today the pastor talked again about the upside-down nature of the Kingdom, as Jesus taught about it. You know, the last shall be first, the greatest among you will be servant of all, to lose your life is to keep it, one person sows and another reaps, the weak are made strong and the strong weak, blessed are the poor, the hungry and thirsty, etc. Very counter-intuitive, this Kingdom.
He then talked about senseless tragedies. Which is really redundant, isn't it? Who ever heard of a sensible tragedy? I mean, aren't all tragedies senseless? Isn't that what makes them tragic? Jesus' suffering and death was certainly tragic - he didn't deserve what happened.
But.. it went from senseless to making sense, after the Resurrection. Then, it all clicked. With the disciples and with us. From the vantage point of the other side of the Resurrection, the tragedy of the cross makes sense. We see God's design in it.
And we can rejoice despite the tragic suffering, because.. there was a purpose to it after all. "For the joy set before Him, Christ endured the cross", St. Paul says. And what was the joy set before Him?
Us.
"God was reconciling the world to Himself through Christ", St. Paul says. We are the prize, the reason for Jesus' suffering... and the reason for His joy.
The Kingdom of God is upside down. Suffering brings joy. And not just for Jesus. But for a whole history of martyrs. And for us who have not yet suffered to the point of shedding our blood. We have joy because of the suffering of others.
Not schadenfreude. Not joy AT the suffering of others. But as a *result* of. Very counter-intuitive, this Kingdom. We can expect the unexpected here.
Oh, the worship leader said something today that I both liked and didn't like. He said:
"The truth we experience always trumps the truth that we think."
Which sounds a lot like "the heart has reasons which reason cannot know", but not exactly.
His point was that you can reason something out, know it intellectually, but until it's lived, it isn't really known. You can know some things about true love, for instance. But until you do love, truly.. what do you really know? What's lived out is always more powerful than what's only thought about.
Now, I don't like all of that idea, because I like to imagine that reason is enough, and that we can know things to be true even if we haven't experienced them.
But his point, which I can't argue with - I've lived it - is that when we experience something that runs counter to what we think is true.. what we know by experience tends to overthrow our beliefs.
And I get that. It's been the nature of my life for several years now. I know some things by experience now that shake, disprove and completely unravel principles that I have held to be true for years.
But isn't faith "the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen"? Sure it is. But faith is never pure reason - there is always an experiential component to faith, albeit a spiritual one. And without the spiritual component to that experience - a sense of meeting God, of closeness to Him - faith is understandably weak and ripe for upset.
With the experience of encountering God, though.. faith becomes strong and sure, because we have known, in some measure, Him in whom we believe. And the truth of that experience either trumps what we may think... or reinforces it. St. Paul on the road to Damascus, or St. Thomas in the upper room - they are our brothers in this lived out experience of spiritual truth.
So, dear reader... this Holy Week... will you seek God with me? Seek this upside-down, counter-intuitive Kingdom with me? Will you look to experience Him in the course of your walk toward Easter? Will you let your heart be touched by His?
Know along with me then, by your own experience, the mercy and grace that He offers you - let Him remind you of it this week, in a tangible, spiritual way. Know the truth of God's love for you - and let that truth make it possible for you to live, and love, freely.
Concert or Brackets?
Such a dilemma.. do I watch the entire NCAA selection show this afternoon, or leave it early to get to First Ave. when the doors open at 7PM for the Lifehouse gig?
Hmm.. maybe I should ask myself: WWJ2D?
Would J2 be so interested in getting a decent seat for Lifehouse that he'd stand in line in the cold to be there as soon as the doors open?
No. He would be much more chill about this. He would enjoy himself wherever he is, live in the moment, and not plan. Me, too, then! :) I'm going to show up for the concert when I feel like it, and just "enjoy the moment" with the NCAA selection show.
At least I'll have that stinking paper done that was hanging over my head. The final draft is set, and all I have to do is reread and edit, and I'm golden. Yay! Then I can email it to the prof and have all of Holy Week free of homework.
Hey! I might even get in some recreational reading? Wow, read for fun? What a concept..
Hmm.. maybe I should ask myself: WWJ2D?
Would J2 be so interested in getting a decent seat for Lifehouse that he'd stand in line in the cold to be there as soon as the doors open?
No. He would be much more chill about this. He would enjoy himself wherever he is, live in the moment, and not plan. Me, too, then! :) I'm going to show up for the concert when I feel like it, and just "enjoy the moment" with the NCAA selection show.
At least I'll have that stinking paper done that was hanging over my head. The final draft is set, and all I have to do is reread and edit, and I'm golden. Yay! Then I can email it to the prof and have all of Holy Week free of homework.
Hey! I might even get in some recreational reading? Wow, read for fun? What a concept..
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Are all bloggers self-absorbed?
Well, gee.. I guess we have to be to some degree, right? I mean, why else do we keep what amounts to a public diary displayed prominently in a shop window for passers-by to see?
Now in my own defense here I'll state that I began writing this thing right after hearing that I was losing my job due to a corporate reshuffling (again!) Since I like to write, I thought it might be good therapy. A constructive outlet, so to speak.
After a while it evolved into more of a news-sharing device with friends and family, an update on the status of job searches and moves (of which there have been several more since this started), but still kept its bent toward self-expression.
And, as I've gotten to the point of wanting to deal better with the various disappointments and losses that have come my way over time, and let some of the emotions out that I've been stuffing.. it's become more therapy and less news again.
Sure, once in a while here there are opinions, for the sake of opinions. :) But the main thrust of the postings here is still emotional, not factual.
So, self-absorbed? Yes, of course. Struggles, annoyances, failures, disappointments are mingled here with hopes, dreams, successes and loves. I write about how I feel, what moves me.
But, an overblown sense of self-importance? Oh, I hope not. That's not the idea.
The idea is to get out (with minimal filtering - although I have to apply at least some, for decorum's sake) what's going on inside, whether it makes sense to the reader (or the author) or not.
And if you happen to be walking by.. these days I do tend to leave the windows to my heart wide open to let some sunshine and fresh air in there (it had gotten awfully gloomy and musty inside..) so - you're free to stop and stare if you like. :)
By the way, if you're looking for an update on confession.. I can't. Not yet. It's all still sinking in. I don't have the words right now.
And besides.. I need all my spare words for my last paper for TS502. Time to get busy..
Now in my own defense here I'll state that I began writing this thing right after hearing that I was losing my job due to a corporate reshuffling (again!) Since I like to write, I thought it might be good therapy. A constructive outlet, so to speak.
After a while it evolved into more of a news-sharing device with friends and family, an update on the status of job searches and moves (of which there have been several more since this started), but still kept its bent toward self-expression.
And, as I've gotten to the point of wanting to deal better with the various disappointments and losses that have come my way over time, and let some of the emotions out that I've been stuffing.. it's become more therapy and less news again.
Sure, once in a while here there are opinions, for the sake of opinions. :) But the main thrust of the postings here is still emotional, not factual.
So, self-absorbed? Yes, of course. Struggles, annoyances, failures, disappointments are mingled here with hopes, dreams, successes and loves. I write about how I feel, what moves me.
But, an overblown sense of self-importance? Oh, I hope not. That's not the idea.
The idea is to get out (with minimal filtering - although I have to apply at least some, for decorum's sake) what's going on inside, whether it makes sense to the reader (or the author) or not.
And if you happen to be walking by.. these days I do tend to leave the windows to my heart wide open to let some sunshine and fresh air in there (it had gotten awfully gloomy and musty inside..) so - you're free to stop and stare if you like. :)
By the way, if you're looking for an update on confession.. I can't. Not yet. It's all still sinking in. I don't have the words right now.
And besides.. I need all my spare words for my last paper for TS502. Time to get busy..
Shhh... just listen...
"I've learned, too, that I don't really know much about anything. I mean, I used to have all these theories about life. I thought I had everybody figured out, even God, but I don't.
"And yet the chemicals in my brain that make me feel beauty when I look up at the stars, when I watch the sunset, indicate I must be here for a reason.
"I think I would sum it up this way: life is not a story about me, but it is being told to me. And I can be glad of that.
"Relationships between men and women indicate something of the nature of God - that He is relational, that He feels love and loss. It's all metaphor, and the story is about us; it's about all of us who God made, and God Himself, just enjoying each other.
"I think we are supposed to love our friends and introduce people to the story, to the peaceful, calming why of life. I think life is spirituality."
----- Donald Miller, "Through Painted Deserts"
"And yet the chemicals in my brain that make me feel beauty when I look up at the stars, when I watch the sunset, indicate I must be here for a reason.
"I think I would sum it up this way: life is not a story about me, but it is being told to me. And I can be glad of that.
"Relationships between men and women indicate something of the nature of God - that He is relational, that He feels love and loss. It's all metaphor, and the story is about us; it's about all of us who God made, and God Himself, just enjoying each other.
"I think we are supposed to love our friends and introduce people to the story, to the peaceful, calming why of life. I think life is spirituality."
----- Donald Miller, "Through Painted Deserts"
Friday, March 14, 2008
Good for the soul?
Hope so.
My first confession is this afternoon, following my interview with Bethel's Dean of Arts and Sciences to see about that potential math adjuncting opportunity in Fall.
Where do I start in confession? There's just so much..
Do I stick to the 10 Commandments version, focus on the outward acts? Or do I go with the Sermon on the Mount version, and delve into the acts of the heart?
I just hope it's the sacrament of healing that they make it out to be.
Maybe it's good that J2 and Rooms are coming up for a quick 24 hour visit, in case it doesn't go so well.. I'm nervous. :(
My first confession is this afternoon, following my interview with Bethel's Dean of Arts and Sciences to see about that potential math adjuncting opportunity in Fall.
Where do I start in confession? There's just so much..
Do I stick to the 10 Commandments version, focus on the outward acts? Or do I go with the Sermon on the Mount version, and delve into the acts of the heart?
I just hope it's the sacrament of healing that they make it out to be.
Maybe it's good that J2 and Rooms are coming up for a quick 24 hour visit, in case it doesn't go so well.. I'm nervous. :(
Dancing Has Certainly Evolved
So here I am, sitting at home after 3 hours of chest-pounding bass and drum and really loud (but not screaming) vocals, trying to let the ringing in my ears gradually go away, and keeping track of the score in the Marquette - Notre Dame game.
Woo! They were down by 6 at half, and came back to win by 10. :D Great way to avenge the regular-season loss..
Maybe I should have bought the earplugs they were selling behind the bar for $1. If I did this concert thing every week, I would. Anyway, it was a fun night. Egg foo yung at a little Chinese place 3 doors down from the Varsity, and decent seats when we got inside the theatre. :)
Plus, two warmup bands, both of which J2 knew and liked (we texted back and forth - he was sooo jealous - not to mention embarrassed that his Mom sang along to one of the songs, and glad he didn't have to watch that. I thought it was kind of cute.) They were The Higher, and Houston Calls (both available on iTunes, except I need to wait until after Lent for that.)
This really was pretty good music, even to old ears. I commented to D that if we had had this music back in the day, it would have been a real improvement over a steady diet of the Carpenters, Bread, The Captain and Tennille, B.J. Thomas, and stale leftovers from Three Dog Night. Well, there was Kiss, but they were just too weird-looking. And Jim Croce was a favorite, but again.. not a rocker. Elton John, Bee Gees, yeah, sure. Eagles - hmm, now you're talking! Still, not a lot of solid rock being played. These bands would have been good to have around back then.
The quality went up with each band, as you'd expect. The sound and musicianship got better. They all knew how to put on a show, but the sound and the songwriting were where you could see a real improvement. Sherwood was great. So when I got home I had to listen to more (which I had gotten last year from J2.) They talked about making a music video and having the video out on MySpace. Yup. They did. :) I like the video - and the song.
So about the dancing. Um.. yeah. That is what they called it, but boy, I really don't know...
Each band would say: "This next one's a good dancing number", and the crowd (at least the half that was way forward and packed together with no sense of personal space whatsoever) would all do the same thing. It was what the bands called dancing, and apparently what the crowd thought of when the bands said it, because it happened the same way each time.
Picture this. The song is done in a straight 4, about 150 bpm (yes, I counted), and there are the usual loud and loud-ER parts. The "dancing" happened on the -ER parts. The form to follow was: raise one arm in the air (only one), keep hand loose at wrist and tipped toward the stage. Extend one or two fingers toward the band. Pulse hand at wrist. While pulsing hand, jump vertically, on the beat, like jumping rope without the rope.
That's it.
Really.
At 150 beats per minute, for a good 4-5 minute song, there is a workout aspect to it. And the bodies are pretty packed in together. Incidental body contact appeared to be... tolerated? Expected? Preferred? (as long as it stayed unintentional. Although I can imagine one or two of the boys out there having certain intentions...)
So when the band goads the audience to dance to another one, they get a little tired and hot. So some guy comes up from backstage and takes the cap off a bottle of water and flings it out into the audience, to cool them off. They yell for more. :)
Sort of reminded me of sprinkling the congregation with Holy Water during Mass, but.. not really. There's more decorum in Mass. You don't, um.. yell at the priest for more. :P
Hm. I suppose for some of the crowd, concerts *are* their version of a worship service. And the concert mentality has sure invaded the contemporary Evangelical church in worship. It blurs Christianity and culture a bit. A bit too much.
There is a symbiosis between band and audience, with music serving as the connection. Similarly, there is a symbiosis between worship team and congregation. But in "concert" mode, that's where it stops. There is no third party.
In worship, the symbiosis is supposed to be between the congregation and God, with music, lyrics and the spoken word the connections that facilitate it. The worship team should get out of the way, becoming a part of the congregation, disappearing into the crowd in a way that the band on stage never does. This is what I think many contemporary Evangelical worship leaders don't get. They are in concert mode, and God... sometimes doesn't show up at all.
I'm on worship team one Sunday in each of the next three months, beginning with Easter morning. God help me stay out of Your way.
Woo! They were down by 6 at half, and came back to win by 10. :D Great way to avenge the regular-season loss..
Maybe I should have bought the earplugs they were selling behind the bar for $1. If I did this concert thing every week, I would. Anyway, it was a fun night. Egg foo yung at a little Chinese place 3 doors down from the Varsity, and decent seats when we got inside the theatre. :)
Plus, two warmup bands, both of which J2 knew and liked (we texted back and forth - he was sooo jealous - not to mention embarrassed that his Mom sang along to one of the songs, and glad he didn't have to watch that. I thought it was kind of cute.) They were The Higher, and Houston Calls (both available on iTunes, except I need to wait until after Lent for that.)
This really was pretty good music, even to old ears. I commented to D that if we had had this music back in the day, it would have been a real improvement over a steady diet of the Carpenters, Bread, The Captain and Tennille, B.J. Thomas, and stale leftovers from Three Dog Night. Well, there was Kiss, but they were just too weird-looking. And Jim Croce was a favorite, but again.. not a rocker. Elton John, Bee Gees, yeah, sure. Eagles - hmm, now you're talking! Still, not a lot of solid rock being played. These bands would have been good to have around back then.
The quality went up with each band, as you'd expect. The sound and musicianship got better. They all knew how to put on a show, but the sound and the songwriting were where you could see a real improvement. Sherwood was great. So when I got home I had to listen to more (which I had gotten last year from J2.) They talked about making a music video and having the video out on MySpace. Yup. They did. :) I like the video - and the song.
So about the dancing. Um.. yeah. That is what they called it, but boy, I really don't know...
Each band would say: "This next one's a good dancing number", and the crowd (at least the half that was way forward and packed together with no sense of personal space whatsoever) would all do the same thing. It was what the bands called dancing, and apparently what the crowd thought of when the bands said it, because it happened the same way each time.
Picture this. The song is done in a straight 4, about 150 bpm (yes, I counted), and there are the usual loud and loud-ER parts. The "dancing" happened on the -ER parts. The form to follow was: raise one arm in the air (only one), keep hand loose at wrist and tipped toward the stage. Extend one or two fingers toward the band. Pulse hand at wrist. While pulsing hand, jump vertically, on the beat, like jumping rope without the rope.
That's it.
Really.
At 150 beats per minute, for a good 4-5 minute song, there is a workout aspect to it. And the bodies are pretty packed in together. Incidental body contact appeared to be... tolerated? Expected? Preferred? (as long as it stayed unintentional. Although I can imagine one or two of the boys out there having certain intentions...)
So when the band goads the audience to dance to another one, they get a little tired and hot. So some guy comes up from backstage and takes the cap off a bottle of water and flings it out into the audience, to cool them off. They yell for more. :)
Sort of reminded me of sprinkling the congregation with Holy Water during Mass, but.. not really. There's more decorum in Mass. You don't, um.. yell at the priest for more. :P
Hm. I suppose for some of the crowd, concerts *are* their version of a worship service. And the concert mentality has sure invaded the contemporary Evangelical church in worship. It blurs Christianity and culture a bit. A bit too much.
There is a symbiosis between band and audience, with music serving as the connection. Similarly, there is a symbiosis between worship team and congregation. But in "concert" mode, that's where it stops. There is no third party.
In worship, the symbiosis is supposed to be between the congregation and God, with music, lyrics and the spoken word the connections that facilitate it. The worship team should get out of the way, becoming a part of the congregation, disappearing into the crowd in a way that the band on stage never does. This is what I think many contemporary Evangelical worship leaders don't get. They are in concert mode, and God... sometimes doesn't show up at all.
I'm on worship team one Sunday in each of the next three months, beginning with Easter morning. God help me stay out of Your way.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Frothing at the mouth
not literally, but figuratively.
I'm writing this last big paper on "Addiction: Disease or Moral Failure?" for TS502, and finding myself getting more and more upset as I write it, ranting against this or that organization or denomination or movement (or .. school! Yikes! puts one's grade in jeopardy to criticize the institution responsible for grading you..)
And the hardest part is, I'm not sure that I really believe everything that I'm getting all riled up about. Maybe I'm emotionally too close to the topic. My brother and I are shot all through the pages so far. :(
I have the thesis written, as well as the summary of my findings, and my personal reflections on the topic. I've only just begun summarizing the research material. But the thesis/findings/reflections are so emotionally powerful to me that I'm afraid I can't be very objective about the topic.
Ran the above material by my in-house editor and critic, and.. she, um.. expressed caution. ;) With good reason, I think.
Here's the thesis. It's the calmest part of the paper so far.
*****
The medical community has viewed addiction (specifically alcoholism) as a disease for several decades. With the advent of the Human Genome Project, considerable research has been done on the impact of genetics on the likelihood of contracting various diseases. In this paper I will argue that the theological community is far behind the scientific community in recognizing the existence of a biological component (indeed, a substantial one) of what has traditionally been seen as a sin problem alone, albeit perhaps aggravated somewhat (but not excused) by environmental factors.
I will also argue that, in the realm of diseases not normally associated with moral failure (ex’s: cancer, heart disease, diabetes), the theological community has not recognized the moral aspects of lifestyle choices that may hasten the onset and hinder the management of those diseases. I will also show that there is, in fact, very little difference between alcoholism and diabetes when it comes to their biological (incl. genetic), environmental and moral aspects. As such, the Church should not view or treat those who suffer from these conditions any differently, but rather support both without stigma or shame.
*****
I think going out the next couple of nights will be good to give me a bit of distance from the subject before I pick it up again Saturday. Maybe I'll calm down by then.
I'm writing this last big paper on "Addiction: Disease or Moral Failure?" for TS502, and finding myself getting more and more upset as I write it, ranting against this or that organization or denomination or movement (or .. school! Yikes! puts one's grade in jeopardy to criticize the institution responsible for grading you..)
And the hardest part is, I'm not sure that I really believe everything that I'm getting all riled up about. Maybe I'm emotionally too close to the topic. My brother and I are shot all through the pages so far. :(
I have the thesis written, as well as the summary of my findings, and my personal reflections on the topic. I've only just begun summarizing the research material. But the thesis/findings/reflections are so emotionally powerful to me that I'm afraid I can't be very objective about the topic.
Ran the above material by my in-house editor and critic, and.. she, um.. expressed caution. ;) With good reason, I think.
Here's the thesis. It's the calmest part of the paper so far.
*****
The medical community has viewed addiction (specifically alcoholism) as a disease for several decades. With the advent of the Human Genome Project, considerable research has been done on the impact of genetics on the likelihood of contracting various diseases. In this paper I will argue that the theological community is far behind the scientific community in recognizing the existence of a biological component (indeed, a substantial one) of what has traditionally been seen as a sin problem alone, albeit perhaps aggravated somewhat (but not excused) by environmental factors.
I will also argue that, in the realm of diseases not normally associated with moral failure (ex’s: cancer, heart disease, diabetes), the theological community has not recognized the moral aspects of lifestyle choices that may hasten the onset and hinder the management of those diseases. I will also show that there is, in fact, very little difference between alcoholism and diabetes when it comes to their biological (incl. genetic), environmental and moral aspects. As such, the Church should not view or treat those who suffer from these conditions any differently, but rather support both without stigma or shame.
*****
I think going out the next couple of nights will be good to give me a bit of distance from the subject before I pick it up again Saturday. Maybe I'll calm down by then.
The One Song
Saw this poem in the sculpture garden at the art museum in Fresno, CA, last week. The picture turned out okay, so those of you who have an interest in poetry can click on it, expand, and read. Those of you who aren't fans of poetry.. can skip it. Like you always do anyway. ;)
But I liked it. Especially the conclusion. :)
But I liked it. Especially the conclusion. :)
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Music Reviews: Ceu, Enigma, Braveheart, Kodo, Sounds of Wood and Steel
Here is a set of reviews where there are no favorite tracks because they are fairly uniform on each CD. Each of these CDs is good for setting an ambience for dinner or reading or whatever. :)
Ceu - "Ceu": It certainly helps that this CD is in Portuguese. :) No English lyrics to interfere with thought or conversation. It's a throwback to the Bossa Nova music of the 60's, but with an updated style. Very smooth, and laid back, and the singer has a voice not unlike Astrud Gilberto's. All that's missing is Stan Getz's saxophone. ;) Well, maybe it's more modern than that. The beats and bass are certainly not 60's bossa. Lovely CD - two thumbs up.
Enigma - "MCMXC A.D.", "Sadeness, Part 1", "Mea Culpa, Part II": Not sure what to call these people, or this music. It's a hodgepodge of Gregorian chant, American Indian tribal singing, operatic soprano warbling, soft spoken parts in French, all overlaid with jazz/house drums, chimes and winds, plus electronica. Religious overtones abound. I guess it's as much background chill music as anything.
London Symphony Orchestra - "Braveheart Soundtrack": as the title says, soundtrack music to the Scottish epic, replete with bagpipes. James Horner is the composer, who has also done soundtracks to other epics like Titanic, Troy, Apocalypto, plus The Spiderwick Chronicles, Legends of the Fall and Zorro. This, I think, is his best music. The songs conjure up the movie, as they should, but they stand on their own as well. Some of the best background music I've heard in a while. Two thumbs up. :)
Kodo - TATAKU (Best of, II): Japanese tataku drums, made more approachable with the addition of pipes and acoustic stringed instruments. Percussionist will love it, but.. I can even listen, too; there's more going on than just drums. :)
Various Artists -"Sounds of Wood and Steel": Taylor Guitars brings in a wide variety of players to do sampler albums to showcase their steel string instruments. Gorgeous sound and the best players in the business doing their favorite pieces on Taylor instruments. Fantastic stuff for ambient and chill. Two thumbs up for this 3-CD series.
Ceu - "Ceu": It certainly helps that this CD is in Portuguese. :) No English lyrics to interfere with thought or conversation. It's a throwback to the Bossa Nova music of the 60's, but with an updated style. Very smooth, and laid back, and the singer has a voice not unlike Astrud Gilberto's. All that's missing is Stan Getz's saxophone. ;) Well, maybe it's more modern than that. The beats and bass are certainly not 60's bossa. Lovely CD - two thumbs up.
Enigma - "MCMXC A.D.", "Sadeness, Part 1", "Mea Culpa, Part II": Not sure what to call these people, or this music. It's a hodgepodge of Gregorian chant, American Indian tribal singing, operatic soprano warbling, soft spoken parts in French, all overlaid with jazz/house drums, chimes and winds, plus electronica. Religious overtones abound. I guess it's as much background chill music as anything.
London Symphony Orchestra - "Braveheart Soundtrack": as the title says, soundtrack music to the Scottish epic, replete with bagpipes. James Horner is the composer, who has also done soundtracks to other epics like Titanic, Troy, Apocalypto, plus The Spiderwick Chronicles, Legends of the Fall and Zorro. This, I think, is his best music. The songs conjure up the movie, as they should, but they stand on their own as well. Some of the best background music I've heard in a while. Two thumbs up. :)
Kodo - TATAKU (Best of, II): Japanese tataku drums, made more approachable with the addition of pipes and acoustic stringed instruments. Percussionist will love it, but.. I can even listen, too; there's more going on than just drums. :)
Various Artists -"Sounds of Wood and Steel": Taylor Guitars brings in a wide variety of players to do sampler albums to showcase their steel string instruments. Gorgeous sound and the best players in the business doing their favorite pieces on Taylor instruments. Fantastic stuff for ambient and chill. Two thumbs up for this 3-CD series.
50 degrees!
Wow. It really warmed up yesterday. :) So much so that I took a run outdoors instead of at the indoor track. And I think that the concrete dust I sucked in on one of my two runs in Vegas is starting to break up in the lungs. It was still hard to breathe heavily, so only went a little over a mile, but.. I think that will get better. I'll lift today, and then run on Thursday and see if I can go longer.
I do love March. :) There is such a promise of Spring in the air, especially on days like this. And there's the NCAA tournament, which is always fun.
But it's a long month, too. And I have a feeling it will seem especially long this time around.
I know that classes and Holy Week and concerts will keep me busy. But I still feel like I'm waiting for something.. something that can't come soon enough. I don't know.. maybe I'm waiting for... May? the end of school? a chance to have some free time? grape vine planting? a vacation trip? something, something.. something fun.) I guess I'll know it when it happens. :)
Last class of TS502 was last night. Yay! One last paper to write and .. I'm off for a week before I start the doubled-up Spring quarter.
I do love March. :) There is such a promise of Spring in the air, especially on days like this. And there's the NCAA tournament, which is always fun.
But it's a long month, too. And I have a feeling it will seem especially long this time around.
I know that classes and Holy Week and concerts will keep me busy. But I still feel like I'm waiting for something.. something that can't come soon enough. I don't know.. maybe I'm waiting for... May? the end of school? a chance to have some free time? grape vine planting? a vacation trip? something, something.. something fun.) I guess I'll know it when it happens. :)
Last class of TS502 was last night. Yay! One last paper to write and .. I'm off for a week before I start the doubled-up Spring quarter.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
To Music
For Music
There be none of Beauty's daughters
With a magic like thee;
And like music on the waters
Is thy sweet voice to me:
When, as if its sound were causing
The charmed ocean's pausing,
The waves lie still and gleaming,
And the lull'd winds seem dreaming:
And the midnight moon is weaving
Her bright chain o'er the deep;
Whose breast is gently heaving,
As an infant's asleep:
So the spirit bows before thee,
To listen and adore thee;
With a full but soft emotion,
Like the swell of Summer's ocean.
-----George Gordon Byron, Lord Byron
There be none of Beauty's daughters
With a magic like thee;
And like music on the waters
Is thy sweet voice to me:
When, as if its sound were causing
The charmed ocean's pausing,
The waves lie still and gleaming,
And the lull'd winds seem dreaming:
And the midnight moon is weaving
Her bright chain o'er the deep;
Whose breast is gently heaving,
As an infant's asleep:
So the spirit bows before thee,
To listen and adore thee;
With a full but soft emotion,
Like the swell of Summer's ocean.
-----George Gordon Byron, Lord Byron
solomon
.
tested all of life
denied himself no pleasure
human pursuits failed
they still fail today
pleasures never satisfy
although some come close
.
tested all of life
denied himself no pleasure
human pursuits failed
they still fail today
pleasures never satisfy
although some come close
.
paradise now
.
move an audience
love a woman breathlessly
work at what I love
one of three ain’t bad
if the others never come
it will be enough
.
move an audience
love a woman breathlessly
work at what I love
one of three ain’t bad
if the others never come
it will be enough
.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Up and over and...
...home. :)
Fun as it's been to see J1 and the flora & fauna of the San Joaquin, I am feeling like it's time to click my heels together three times and say:
(everybody, now; say it with me. you know how it goes..)
:)
Wow, I am not used to being up before the hotel has the breakfast buffet set. Moving a little slow here..
But, no time to dawdle. A few more things in the suitcase, one last check around the room, and .. I'm off!
Happy Birthday, Liz. :)
Hey! A new first digit. :) Congrats on sticking it out here another decade.
Thanks for being a faithful blog reader. And a great niece, not to mention a pretty cool person...
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Keeping Up and Catching up
It's been interesting traveling with the company laptop as my only real connection to the rest of the civilized world (read: the internet.) Oh, I suppose you could say that my cell phone accomplishes much of the same, and I guess it does. I can access the web via the phone, too, but.. silly me.. I failed to pack along my battery charger for an 8 day trip. Hahahaha. Bright boy.
(Really, I intentionally left it home, and took my spare battery instead, figuring that between the two of them I could make it 8 days and not have to crawl under my desk to disconnect the charger and then have to crawl under it again when I get back to put it where I had it before I left, see? Except that being on the web really sucks the battery level down fast – about as fast as the 20-somethings in Vegas sucked margaritas down from those neon-colored-plastic-bong-like-tube-with-a-funnel-on-one-end-thingies they carried as they gamboled down the Strip in the wee hours of the morning. Not that I was out in the wee hours of the morning to see this, mind you. They sucked it down pretty well during the day, too. I'm just assuming they repeated the behavior all night until unconscious. Actually, I'm just trying to see how long I can make this parenthetical comment last. Pretty long, I guess. I could go for more, but you're probably already pretty annoyed by it, aren't you?)
So as I was saying before I distracted myself, the company laptop isn't the easiest way to keep up on email and blog entries, etc. It uses a secure VPN, and only certain networks (wired or wireless) meet the security standards. And of those, only a few have made advance arrangements with my company to direct-bill the usage charges. The most ubiquitous of those few is.. Starbucks. L I hate Starbucks! It's big-box coffee, just served in a smaller box. Yucko.
Plus, when you're on foot, and there's no Starbucks near by.. you just do without your bi-hourly webfix, mostly. Or, you pay to use a computer at an internet café. If you can find one. Blog posts, especially, are a pain this way, since I spend so much time rereading and editing. So I tend to (like right now in the Las Vegas airport on Friday en route to California) pre-type them in advance of when I actually plan to post them, save them someplace (like on the thumb drive I carry with me on trips), and put them up when I have a chance, editing a little when I actually do the post in order to exchange anticipated events for what really happened.
So I had this really nice time in California. (I hope...) J
And really, as of the actual time of this posting, so far so good. I have had fun so far, with J1 and Rocket Dog (who still moves his tail pretty well for an old dude. Hmmm… :P Sounds familiar!) just knocking around our old community from.. wow.. 13 years ago now. Jeepers. Back when the whole family lived here, J1 was 11, and I was, um.. more ambitious. ;)
But soon I head home and will have a dire need for catching up across the board. At work, at school, for church (songs to learn for worship team on Easter morning), and in my personal life. At least I've done my required reading for TS502 while on this trip (imagine the chilling effect that reading about the Atonement has on the temptations that face you when you're in Sin City.. this is a good thing!), and am ready for the last night of class Tuesday night. Sure am glad I got that extention on my final paper. Writing that will definitely be taking up my evenings and weekend the rest of this week. After that, Holy Week will be a welcome period in many respects, not the least of which is a break from classwork.
So please excuse the traveling blogger here if the next couple of posts that follow are not really on topic and were written back before I left on this trip. It's the best I've got to offer right now. J
Hey, I think I still have time for a quick Cinnabon before we board. (I have got to stop eating like this. L Traveling lowers my resistance.) When I get back, though.. I'll be catching up on proper eating and exercise, too. I have 20 pounds to lose by the time it's shorts weather. Um, that'd be May (used to be April but I'm a bit more sensitive to cold now.) ;) Two-three pounds a week.. I can do it!
Friday, March 07, 2008
Up and Over..
.. the mountains today. The Sierra Nevadas, to be specific.
I'm all done with Las Vegas. For a loooooong time, I think. Even came away a winner. :) (not a big winner, but.. I was down to my last $5 and came all the way back to the plus column for the week! Woo! Someone must have been thinking about me and bringing me good luck. :)
Now, it's off to California to see J1, and pamper my daughter a little. :) She could use it, I think.
As for me.. I could use a cheeseburger from In And Out. Best burgers on the planet....
Three more days and.. home!
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