At the gym the other day, ESPN was on the TV monitor. So while pedalling away on the recumbent bike watching Sportscenter's Top Ten Plays, I had an insight, and subsequently shared it with a male friend over dinner. He agreed with my basic thesis: when it comes to romantic relationships, I think every woman has a highlight reel.
Yes, some girls have more than others, but there are common themes.
You know, there's that first "real" kiss.. that summer romance.. the date for her first formal.. that older man.. then later, that younger man.. that Spring Break fling.. that forbidden relationship.. that road trip for the ages.. the great guy who got away.. that knock-your-red-pumps-off random encounter.. the complicated office romance.. and the very first man that, well, you know...
Be it short or long, every woman has a romantic highlight reel.
And as I told my friend, if you're a guy in his situation (working out a new relationship)... it might be fun to make it into her highlight reel, to thrill a girl, to stick in her memory as a real "wow", to be one of those once-in-her-lifetime experiences.
But, long-term, you don't want to simply be on a girl's highlight reel. You don't want to be just one of many romantic "big plays" in her life. You want to be the guy whom she follows as a loyal fan.
You want to be the one she goes back to see again and again, year after year, sitting in the same section, cheering for you through thick and thin, good seasons and bad.. not just a "fair-weather" fan, but pulling for you long-term. You want her to collect all your cards, know your career stats, wear YOUR name on her team jersey! (metaphorically speaking, of course..)
Highlight reel romance is nice, yeah, but... when she gets season tickets to see YOU, baby, that's a girl who makes you want to hit it out of the park every time you step to the plate. In your fervor, though, you do have to remember not to over-reach.. just be yourself, buddy, relax, and it'll all come.
(sorry for the extended sports metaphors, but... it is baseball season after all, and this is a male-focused insight gleaned from ESPN..)
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2 comments:
I know the "highlight reel" effect you are speaking of. Although I don't think it is limited to just women. I think men do this as well. In fact, I think any person who has a history of relationships instead of just one relationship in recent history; can relate to this. I think it is simply our human way of remembering the best, worst, and craziest times from relationships past, while filing away and forgetting all the boring inbetween stuff.
Oh, I didn't mean to suggest this was a female-only thing; I agree that many men have a history of romantic highlights, too.
It's just that I can't pretend to speak about how women might view the idea of being on a man's "highlight reel". I could only offer a guy's perspective on this (being a highlight for a girl, vs. having her be your loyal fan) to my younger friend; and he took to the idea right away. I think it helped him think about his new relationship from a longer-term perspective.
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