Popular Wisdom on Romantic Love

Taken from AOL health (http://aol.mediresource.com/)

Bodies in Love: Why love hurts


Popular wisdom holds that love is in the air, that it makes the world go 'round, and that it's something that is better to have had and lost than... well, you know. Love is many things, but apparently it is not for the faint of heart.

Falling in love is as much a physical reaction as it is an emotional one. In fact, the "symptoms" of being smitten - rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, dilated pupils - are the same as those of the "fight or flight" stress response we have in reaction to an adrenaline surge. Love is also mind-altering - researchers report that brain images of people looking at a picture of their beloved resemble those of people high on cocaine.

It's no surprise, then, that the mind and body are affected when love is unrequited or a romance goes sour. The impact on a person's mood and behaviour can be dramatic. In various stages of love, people exhibit signs of mania (elevated mood, inflated self-esteem), depression (insomnia, tearfulness, loss of concentration), and obsessive-compulsive disorder (preoccupation, frequent checking for e-mail and text messages, pre-date hygiene rituals). Indeed, for thousands of years, lovesickness was accepted as a legitimate medical diagnosis, which gives the term "madly in love" a new dimension.

Love can also be a real pain... in the heart. In 2005, researchers at Johns Hopkins Medicine reported that sudden emotional stress can cause severe but reversible weakness of the heart muscle. Stress cardiomyopathy, nicknamed "broken heart syndrome," occurs when the heart is temporarily "stunned" by a prolonged surge in adrenaline and other stress hormones (exactly how isn't yet known ). Symptoms include chest pain, shortness of breath, fluid in the lungs, and heart failure. Patients are often misdiagnosed as having a massive heart attack. Fortunately, unlike those who have had a heart attack, they recover completely within two weeks and there is no lasting damage to the heart.

That doesn't mean the lovelorn are out of danger. Studies show that it is possible to die of a broken heart. The first and most-cited report appeared in the British Medical Journal in 1969. Researchers followed 4,500 widowers aged 55 and older for 9 years. The risk of dying in the first 6 months after the death of a spouse was 40% higher than usual, with the most common cause being a heart attack. As time went on, the risk decreased to normal levels.

These findings are supported by a larger study published in 1996. Researchers analyzed data from 1.5 million people aged 35 to 84. The risk of dying from a heart attack within the 6 months following a spouse's death was 20-35% higher than normal, while the chances of dying from an accident, alcohol-related problems, or violence was 100% higher.

Before you decide to join a monastery, however, rest assured that it's not all bad news. Decades of research show that people who are happily married live longer than singles. They enjoy better mental and emotional well-being, have lower rates of cancer, heart failure, and other diseases, and are less likely to be victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, and other violent crimes. They also have greater collective wealth and a larger support network, and are less likely to smoke and drink heavily.

It takes time to find the right partner, but you can enjoy these benefits, too, if you survive the initial throes of passion and heartache. It seems that the prevailing theories are correct: of all the things that have been claimed about love, nobody ever said it was easy.




And this from WikiAnswers (where real people post answers to questions)


Q. Why love at all if it hurts so much?



Answer
This is a great question. Love has never been defined and never will be. Love is what two people feel. We read novels about love without limitations, see movies about it on the big screen or TV, and that we can live happily ever after, but it's not real life. The fact of the matter is, our expectations are sometimes too high and the poor mate we choose can't humanly live up to what our expectations are. [...] I find in today's world that many never really try all that hard to work on their relationships. It appears flipping from one partner to the other or "needing head space" is the best excuse most can offer. It's called "failure!" [...] To me anything worth having is worth fighting for and that means if there is a problem in [the relationship] and you feel like quitting that's the time you dig in your heels and try to find a solution to the problem. If you don't then you'll simply drift through life in all areas.

...

Is it easy getting through all of this? Of course not! Quit trying to be perfect and realize that it takes work to make anything worthwhile in your life successful. If everything came too easy for us then we wouldn't appreciate it as much.


Answer
You must have heard the famous quote: "It is better to have loved and lost love, than to have never loved at all."

Truer words have never been spoken. Love is a rarity, and when you find it in its most true form, you should cherish it. Although it hurts to have lost love, the pleasure of being in love outweighs the pain of losing it.


Answer
Because we put all our emotions...we give everything..and we expect that the love we give to the one we love will return to us...



Answer
Love may look pleasant at the begining but in its virtue you loose your talents,skills,individuality and success of your life.So never love!!


Answer
Well, they say what else is there? There is plenty: pride, a feeling of accomplishing something, and if one relies just on themself and no one else there is no fear of being hurt. Love often brings trouble. We live in a world where people are just inflicting their issues on each other, so perhaps it is better not to be exposed to someone else's problems and get on with making ourselves happy.


Answer
Because love doesn't have to hurt! When there is love, there is always HOPE. Maybe this time love hurt, but next time it doesn't have to. If you choose not to love, then you also choose not to be loved. Don't you want be loved? That's what I thought..


Answer
Why drive a car if you can get in a car crash? Why walk on the street when you can get mugged? Why eat when you can choke? I think you get my point. Life is one big risk, as so is love. If you don't take the risk you'll never know. Taking that risk in return you can either be loved or heart broken. but I can guarantee you something- whether you are loved or heart broken, you will always gain something- wisdom and experience. you can learn from your heart aches to better your next relationship to make the love of your life. but if you never try at love because you are scared of being hurt, you'll never know if you could feel the best you have ever felt in your life. I think never trying at love is the biggest pain of all. you are depriving yourself of opportunity. besides, a lot of us wouldn't be here if everyone didn't love because it hurt too much. Life goes on, and love will conquer all.