Outdoor run today! :)
55 and sunny, a little breeze.. who can resist?
Not quite as fast as Wednesday, on the level, controlled surface of the indoor track, but this will be my summer regimen anyway, so - I have to learn to push it outside, too, right?
Or maybe it was just that the demons didn't seem so close behind me today. I didn't have to run *quite* so fast.
Friday, April 04, 2008
Three different takes
on the same subject.
Tennyson wrote, in his poem In Memoriam,
I envy not in any moods
The captive void of noble rage,
The linnet born within the cage,
That never knew the summer woods:
I envy not the beast that takes
His license in the field of time,
Unfetter’d by the sense of crime,
To whom a conscience never wakes;
Nor, what may count itself as blest,
The heart that never plighted troth
But stagnates in the weeds of sloth;
Nor any want-begotten rest.
I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
’Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
So, that's his argument. I can see it.
All the varying emotions, easy and hard, good and bad, light and dark, joy and sorrow, that are bound up together with love.. they tell us we're human beings, we're alive and free! Who would want it any other way? I get what he's saying.
Love is both sweet and bitter, spicy and bland, hot and cold.. that's what makes it great! It's the complementary nature of it, the constant change, the ups & downs that make it so invigorating, so startling, so robust and so challenging.
It gets to you. Gets under your skin. It's like a persistent itch you can't quite reach to scratch, but when you do.. ahh, the bliss of it! :) That is, until it itches again, and you scratch and scratch until it bleeds.
But then, with the bleeding, the nagging itch is finally finished, the salve you rub on it feels so nice, and the raw, bloody skin heals over again. While it's healing, though, it leaves a dark scab that you worry at, and pick off too soon, until your worrying at it leaves a permanent mark there - a scar that takes a long time to fade, or never does.
But who wants a love that leaves no permanent mark? Who invests their hearts in something transient and fleeting, easily healed and the experience forgotten?
It's like a tattoo that way. A henna tattoo causes no discomfort. It quickly fades and is forgotten. But a real one, an ink one made with needles... it hurts! It takes time to heal. It scars you. For life. It lasts. You remember the reason you got it. You don't forget why.
So, yeah, Alfred. I'm with you, man. Bring on the scar, I say! Then you remember what the love was all about. WHO it was all about - and how it changed you, marked you for life.
What follows are three sets of song lyrics, from very different sources, that all muse on the same thing, just not all with the same assuredness of Tennyson.
I guess maybe your view of it depends on where you are in the process - in the midst, with eyes red, nerves raw and stomach churning, or - well beyond, when you can look back peacefully and wistfully on those emotional days, seeing nothing now but benefit and growth?
Tennyson wrote, in his poem In Memoriam,
I envy not in any moods
The captive void of noble rage,
The linnet born within the cage,
That never knew the summer woods:
I envy not the beast that takes
His license in the field of time,
Unfetter’d by the sense of crime,
To whom a conscience never wakes;
Nor, what may count itself as blest,
The heart that never plighted troth
But stagnates in the weeds of sloth;
Nor any want-begotten rest.
I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
’Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
So, that's his argument. I can see it.
All the varying emotions, easy and hard, good and bad, light and dark, joy and sorrow, that are bound up together with love.. they tell us we're human beings, we're alive and free! Who would want it any other way? I get what he's saying.
Love is both sweet and bitter, spicy and bland, hot and cold.. that's what makes it great! It's the complementary nature of it, the constant change, the ups & downs that make it so invigorating, so startling, so robust and so challenging.
It gets to you. Gets under your skin. It's like a persistent itch you can't quite reach to scratch, but when you do.. ahh, the bliss of it! :) That is, until it itches again, and you scratch and scratch until it bleeds.
But then, with the bleeding, the nagging itch is finally finished, the salve you rub on it feels so nice, and the raw, bloody skin heals over again. While it's healing, though, it leaves a dark scab that you worry at, and pick off too soon, until your worrying at it leaves a permanent mark there - a scar that takes a long time to fade, or never does.
But who wants a love that leaves no permanent mark? Who invests their hearts in something transient and fleeting, easily healed and the experience forgotten?
It's like a tattoo that way. A henna tattoo causes no discomfort. It quickly fades and is forgotten. But a real one, an ink one made with needles... it hurts! It takes time to heal. It scars you. For life. It lasts. You remember the reason you got it. You don't forget why.
So, yeah, Alfred. I'm with you, man. Bring on the scar, I say! Then you remember what the love was all about. WHO it was all about - and how it changed you, marked you for life.
What follows are three sets of song lyrics, from very different sources, that all muse on the same thing, just not all with the same assuredness of Tennyson.
I guess maybe your view of it depends on where you are in the process - in the midst, with eyes red, nerves raw and stomach churning, or - well beyond, when you can look back peacefully and wistfully on those emotional days, seeing nothing now but benefit and growth?
Rewind
You didn’t wait for me to help you out
I would’ve stayed to clear those final doubts
How suddenly the whole world can change overnight
How suddenly the whole world knows your name
And I find myself questioning all that I have done
And I’m trying to press the button to rewind
And I find myself whispering ‘There’s more I could have done’
And I wish I had the option to rewind
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
I’m not the same; it feels like I’m missing out
The sky has drained now I must live without
How suddenly the whole world can change overnight
How suddenly the whole world sings your name
And I find myself questioning all that I have done
And I’m trying to press the button to rewind
And I find myself whispering ‘God, what have you done?’
And I wish I had the option to rewind
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
I find myself thinking; I hope I can inspire
The subtleties you taught me to admire
And I find myself whispering ‘God, what have you done?’
And I wish I had the option to rewind
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
----- Temposhark
I would’ve stayed to clear those final doubts
How suddenly the whole world can change overnight
How suddenly the whole world knows your name
And I find myself questioning all that I have done
And I’m trying to press the button to rewind
And I find myself whispering ‘There’s more I could have done’
And I wish I had the option to rewind
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
I’m not the same; it feels like I’m missing out
The sky has drained now I must live without
How suddenly the whole world can change overnight
How suddenly the whole world sings your name
And I find myself questioning all that I have done
And I’m trying to press the button to rewind
And I find myself whispering ‘God, what have you done?’
And I wish I had the option to rewind
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
I find myself thinking; I hope I can inspire
The subtleties you taught me to admire
And I find myself whispering ‘God, what have you done?’
And I wish I had the option to rewind
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
Is it better to have loved than not at all?
----- Temposhark
Is it better?
Is it better
To have loved and lost,
Than never to have loved at all?
I wonder (I wonder),
I wonder (I wonder),
As my lonely teardrops fall.
Is it better
To have kissed and lost,
Than never to have felt the glow?
I wonder (I wonder),
I wonder (I wonder),
Then why do I miss you so?
Only those who've lost at love
Would know how a heart can cry.
And they would know the meaning of
Hearing a last goodbye.
Is it better
To have loved and lost,
Than never had my dream come true?
I wonder (I wonder),
I wonder (I wonder),
'Cause I'm still in love with you.
I wonder (I wonder),
I wonder (I wonder),
'Cause I'm still in love with you.
-----Nat King Cole
To have loved and lost,
Than never to have loved at all?
I wonder (I wonder),
I wonder (I wonder),
As my lonely teardrops fall.
Is it better
To have kissed and lost,
Than never to have felt the glow?
I wonder (I wonder),
I wonder (I wonder),
Then why do I miss you so?
Only those who've lost at love
Would know how a heart can cry.
And they would know the meaning of
Hearing a last goodbye.
Is it better
To have loved and lost,
Than never had my dream come true?
I wonder (I wonder),
I wonder (I wonder),
'Cause I'm still in love with you.
I wonder (I wonder),
I wonder (I wonder),
'Cause I'm still in love with you.
-----Nat King Cole
Yes, better
If the sun went down tomorrow and it never came back
And the city went quiet and we fade to black
Well I won't have a single regret
And I wouldn't trade a thing
Cause I never knew I could feel what I feel inside of me
Better to have loved than never loved at all
Better to have dreamed than never taken the fall
Better to have loved you and let you in
than never to have touched your skin
Better to have hurt and screamed and cried
Fall into the earth for a trip to the sky
Better to have loved
You
I knew all the time I was taking a chance
When I stand there on the edge of the cliff
and no one was holding my hand
Well the wind blew strong and the clouds rolled in
and I, I felt us lift off the ground
Yes I bared my soul and I dared to go
knowing one day you might let me down
Better to have loved than never loved at all
Better to have dreamed than never taken the fall
Better to have loved you and let you in
than never to have touched your skin
Better to have hurt and screamed and cried
Fall into the earth for a trip to the sky
Better to have loved
You
I gave you everything but you have said goodbye
Better to have loved than never loved at all
Better to have dreamed than never taken the fall
Better to have loved you and let you in
than never to have touched your skin
Better to have hurt and screamed and cried
Fall into the earth for a trip to the sky
Better to have loved, better to have loved
You
----- Idina Menzel
And the city went quiet and we fade to black
Well I won't have a single regret
And I wouldn't trade a thing
Cause I never knew I could feel what I feel inside of me
Better to have loved than never loved at all
Better to have dreamed than never taken the fall
Better to have loved you and let you in
than never to have touched your skin
Better to have hurt and screamed and cried
Fall into the earth for a trip to the sky
Better to have loved
You
I knew all the time I was taking a chance
When I stand there on the edge of the cliff
and no one was holding my hand
Well the wind blew strong and the clouds rolled in
and I, I felt us lift off the ground
Yes I bared my soul and I dared to go
knowing one day you might let me down
Better to have loved than never loved at all
Better to have dreamed than never taken the fall
Better to have loved you and let you in
than never to have touched your skin
Better to have hurt and screamed and cried
Fall into the earth for a trip to the sky
Better to have loved
You
I gave you everything but you have said goodbye
Better to have loved than never loved at all
Better to have dreamed than never taken the fall
Better to have loved you and let you in
than never to have touched your skin
Better to have hurt and screamed and cried
Fall into the earth for a trip to the sky
Better to have loved, better to have loved
You
----- Idina Menzel
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Stubborn Spring
Considering everything that's been happening both inside and out, the last couple of days it's been pretty hard to see Spring as either here or just around the corner. It's seemed like things were conspiring to push us back in to the cold harshness of Winter again. And inside I've been shaking, a chill settling on the heart. :(
But last night a warmer wind from the South began to blow.. :)
Today it will reach 50, they say. Fifty-five tomorrow. :) Somehow those numbers sound pretty good when you're talking about temperature and not age. ;)
It's going to be tough to ignore Spring now.
It's warming up even if I'm still kind of chilly inside.
I'll get there. I'll warm up and I'll feel better. It might take until May, but.. I'll get there.
But last night a warmer wind from the South began to blow.. :)
Today it will reach 50, they say. Fifty-five tomorrow. :) Somehow those numbers sound pretty good when you're talking about temperature and not age. ;)
It's going to be tough to ignore Spring now.
It's warming up even if I'm still kind of chilly inside.
I'll get there. I'll warm up and I'll feel better. It might take until May, but.. I'll get there.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Running from demons
After 8 days of layoff from being sick, I finally ran again today, and felt an urgency that I seldom feel. 1.512 miles in under 14 minutes - a new personal best for me at that distance.
I felt driven. Like I had to run faster to get out ahead of some.. I don't know.. personal demons?.. that want to take me down. I have to stay out in front of them. I have to stay ahead. I can't fall victim to them.
But now I can't stop coughing. God, these days it seems like it's either cough or cry. Aren't there any other options? I'd like to laugh, but I've forgotten how.
I felt driven. Like I had to run faster to get out ahead of some.. I don't know.. personal demons?.. that want to take me down. I have to stay out in front of them. I have to stay ahead. I can't fall victim to them.
But now I can't stop coughing. God, these days it seems like it's either cough or cry. Aren't there any other options? I'd like to laugh, but I've forgotten how.
Ps. 51:8, 12
Make me hear joy and gladness,
That the bones You have broken may rejoice.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
Sometimes all you have left is a plea.
That the bones You have broken may rejoice.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
Sometimes all you have left is a plea.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Stop singing and listen to the words (updated)
Guess there's even a bright side to being sick. :)
At church Sunday, my voice was so bad and coughing hurt so much, that I didn't sing a note the whole service, which is so unusual for me. But, what it allowed me to do was close my eyes and listen to the lyrics of the songs, meditate on the meaning. And one in particular stuck out to me.
Instead of concentrating on the harmony part that I would normally sing, I just shut up and listened to the words for once. In the context of all I've been reading (and experiencing) of the cycles of life, the up and down, the ebb and flow, the fast and slow of it, the yin and yang of the world around me, and of my internal world.. this song reminded me of the one Constant that remains through it all, holding things together. And I found that I could agree with all these words in my heart.
Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name
Every blessing You pour out I'll
Turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's "all as it should be"
Blessed be You name
And blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
And Job 1:21 is still true, even today. Yes, even... today.
The Lord gives.. :) and the Lord takes away. :(
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
No matter what.
At church Sunday, my voice was so bad and coughing hurt so much, that I didn't sing a note the whole service, which is so unusual for me. But, what it allowed me to do was close my eyes and listen to the lyrics of the songs, meditate on the meaning. And one in particular stuck out to me.
Instead of concentrating on the harmony part that I would normally sing, I just shut up and listened to the words for once. In the context of all I've been reading (and experiencing) of the cycles of life, the up and down, the ebb and flow, the fast and slow of it, the yin and yang of the world around me, and of my internal world.. this song reminded me of the one Constant that remains through it all, holding things together. And I found that I could agree with all these words in my heart.
Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name
Every blessing You pour out I'll
Turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's "all as it should be"
Blessed be You name
And blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
And Job 1:21 is still true, even today. Yes, even... today.
The Lord gives.. :) and the Lord takes away. :(
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
No matter what.
Monday, March 31, 2008
lion
6-8" today..
This snow lion will melt, but the old adage proves once again that there's rhythm to life, an ebb and flow to things.
.
snow buries our hopes
March keeps us waiting longer
we have springtime faith
.
This snow lion will melt, but the old adage proves once again that there's rhythm to life, an ebb and flow to things.
.
snow buries our hopes
March keeps us waiting longer
we have springtime faith
.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Multi Concerti
Wow, what a musical weekend. And variety galore - folk, classical & rock. Widely varied venues, too: a 100 year old restored opera house, a new state-of-the-art concert hall, and a converted movie theatre. :) Fun. Love this music therapy. Thanks, Dr. Shrink-wrap! ;)
Saturday night was dinner out followed by a show by Pat Donohue, a folk/blues guitarist and songwriter. Half the band were regulars with Prairie Home Companion, and talented musicians all - my goodness, could they play! And did they ever, from blues to bluegrass, from gospel to swing, from classical (a bach gavotte!) to jazz, they did it.
And they played for 2 1/2 hours in the Fitzgerald Theatre, which is owned by Minnesota Public Radio, and hosts the PHC radio show each week. Cool old place.
The special guest was a favorite country singer of mine, Suzy Bogguss. She is just as cute as can be, and has one of those voices that makes a guy want to put his arms around her and take care of her. :) To top it off, the girl can yodel! I mean, what more can a man ask for in a woman? At least.. one that's on stage that he's paying $30 a seat to see. At that price, she ought to be able to yodel. ;)
Sunday afternoon was the St.Paul Chamber Orchestra in the Great Hall at Bethel, with a program of baroque music, including a great little suite by Telemann, and both a Violin Concerto and one of the Brandenberg Concertos by J.S. Bach. I've always preferred Telemann to Bach. Bach is incredibly complex and precise, but.. after a while I get tired of all that counterpoint. Telemann, to me, seems to have more humanity in his music - more warmth and life. :) Anyway, D loves the Brandenbergs and I love Telemann's work, so it was great...
except that we each spent 5+ minutes out in the hallway during our favorite pieces on an extended coughing jag! :( Yuk. But then we got the tickets for nothing, so.. who can complain? Just - never go to a classical performance when you have a cold. Courtesy just demands that you leave, and of course once you're out of the hall you can't go back in until the piece is over. :(
At least at a rock concert nobody cares if you cough yourself silly. They couldn't hear you anyway. So after a run to Culver's for custard (medicinal reasons only - for our sore throats), I squared my shoulders, took some ibuprofen, rubbed my aching ribs, stuffed some cough drops in my pocket and headed out for the rock concert Sunday night.
Carbon/Silicon was the lead act, but I really went for the opener, Matt Pond PA. I have his CD, Several Arrows Later, which I reviewed here some time back, and liked a lot. He also has a new one out, which got great reviews, so I picked that up while there. Plus, it was a favorite venue - The Varsity in Dinkytown.
Boy, does Matt Pond ever sound different live than on his recordings. Four guitars and a drum, and really just straight up rock and roll, man. :) Nothing emotive about this guy tonight. No sir. Leave the string section for the studio, baby. And man oh man - he had absolutely zero personality on stage. Just wind him up and he plays, I guess. But I do like the new CD. :) Review to follow. Sometime.
Carbon/Silicon turned out to be why the crowd was a bit older tonight. I've never seen so many 40-somethings (and older) with straggly shoulder length hair and shades. And I don't mean the women. This act paired up two aging punk-rockers, Mick Jones from the Clash and Tony James from Generation X.
And it took exactly one and a half songs until I remembered why I never got into punk rock. Yikes! It has all the lyrical disappointment and despair of emo, but suppressed and covered over by angry and loud music with the focus squarely on minor chords. Eww. I beat it out of there while I still had my happy face on. :)
Saturday night was dinner out followed by a show by Pat Donohue, a folk/blues guitarist and songwriter. Half the band were regulars with Prairie Home Companion, and talented musicians all - my goodness, could they play! And did they ever, from blues to bluegrass, from gospel to swing, from classical (a bach gavotte!) to jazz, they did it.
And they played for 2 1/2 hours in the Fitzgerald Theatre, which is owned by Minnesota Public Radio, and hosts the PHC radio show each week. Cool old place.
The special guest was a favorite country singer of mine, Suzy Bogguss. She is just as cute as can be, and has one of those voices that makes a guy want to put his arms around her and take care of her. :) To top it off, the girl can yodel! I mean, what more can a man ask for in a woman? At least.. one that's on stage that he's paying $30 a seat to see. At that price, she ought to be able to yodel. ;)
Sunday afternoon was the St.Paul Chamber Orchestra in the Great Hall at Bethel, with a program of baroque music, including a great little suite by Telemann, and both a Violin Concerto and one of the Brandenberg Concertos by J.S. Bach. I've always preferred Telemann to Bach. Bach is incredibly complex and precise, but.. after a while I get tired of all that counterpoint. Telemann, to me, seems to have more humanity in his music - more warmth and life. :) Anyway, D loves the Brandenbergs and I love Telemann's work, so it was great...
except that we each spent 5+ minutes out in the hallway during our favorite pieces on an extended coughing jag! :( Yuk. But then we got the tickets for nothing, so.. who can complain? Just - never go to a classical performance when you have a cold. Courtesy just demands that you leave, and of course once you're out of the hall you can't go back in until the piece is over. :(
At least at a rock concert nobody cares if you cough yourself silly. They couldn't hear you anyway. So after a run to Culver's for custard (medicinal reasons only - for our sore throats), I squared my shoulders, took some ibuprofen, rubbed my aching ribs, stuffed some cough drops in my pocket and headed out for the rock concert Sunday night.
Carbon/Silicon was the lead act, but I really went for the opener, Matt Pond PA. I have his CD, Several Arrows Later, which I reviewed here some time back, and liked a lot. He also has a new one out, which got great reviews, so I picked that up while there. Plus, it was a favorite venue - The Varsity in Dinkytown.
Boy, does Matt Pond ever sound different live than on his recordings. Four guitars and a drum, and really just straight up rock and roll, man. :) Nothing emotive about this guy tonight. No sir. Leave the string section for the studio, baby. And man oh man - he had absolutely zero personality on stage. Just wind him up and he plays, I guess. But I do like the new CD. :) Review to follow. Sometime.
Carbon/Silicon turned out to be why the crowd was a bit older tonight. I've never seen so many 40-somethings (and older) with straggly shoulder length hair and shades. And I don't mean the women. This act paired up two aging punk-rockers, Mick Jones from the Clash and Tony James from Generation X.
And it took exactly one and a half songs until I remembered why I never got into punk rock. Yikes! It has all the lyrical disappointment and despair of emo, but suppressed and covered over by angry and loud music with the focus squarely on minor chords. Eww. I beat it out of there while I still had my happy face on. :)
Go Offline
The pastor at EnCompass started a new series today on "Jesus in the Suburbs", trying to relate His message to where and how we live.
As he said today, it's not so hard to envision Jesus in the heart of the city. You can see Him reaching out to the homeless, the drug-dependent, the outcasts, the despairing, the hoods, the whores. You can see Him wrangling with city officials and the leaders of inner-city churches. He'd be in His element, healing people, inspiring justice, working for acceptance.
It's also not hard to picture Jesus in jeans and flannel shirt out in a rural setting, singing to the cows during morning milking, working up a sweat in the haymow with the neighbors, talking with the boys at the grain elevator about the quality of the harvest, walking through the fields giving life lessons about how things grow, sitting on the porch at night loving the quiet.
But .. Jesus in the suburbs? Stuck in traffic, or running between soccer games and music lessons, or worrying about how to get a decent dinner on the table? Um.. no. Somehow it doesn't work.
So his first sermon text got right to the busy-ness issue with the story of Mary and Martha, where He says: "Martha, Martha... you're worried and upset about so many things" and basically tells her to sit still, stop all her fussing, and be more like her lazy-ass sister. ;)
The pastor suggested that we allow ourselves to be bored. No other species is even capable of boredom, as far as we know. It's a perfectly human state to be in, may actually be theraputic, and something that we ought to welcome now and then. :)
And all the while he was preaching, I kept hearing this nagging little Voice in my head. You know the One. Or .. at least I do. He doesn't do this often, so when He does, I have to pay attention. He said
"Go offline."
That's it. I checked again to see if I heard Him right. mmhmm.
"Go offline."
Would you mind elaborating a bit? I'm slow.
"Go offline."
He rarely does this, either, so even more important.. He elaborated.
"Not forever; a couple of hours a day will do. Just shut off your music, close your IM session, put the Mac to sleep, so you don't hear the ding of new email. You don't need the constant stimuli - it's okay to be bored. Go offline."
Wow. Okay. I guess I'll try it. Maybe while I'm studying? I'll try to figure out a time.
Thanks for the advice. I'll.. give it a try. :)
As he said today, it's not so hard to envision Jesus in the heart of the city. You can see Him reaching out to the homeless, the drug-dependent, the outcasts, the despairing, the hoods, the whores. You can see Him wrangling with city officials and the leaders of inner-city churches. He'd be in His element, healing people, inspiring justice, working for acceptance.
It's also not hard to picture Jesus in jeans and flannel shirt out in a rural setting, singing to the cows during morning milking, working up a sweat in the haymow with the neighbors, talking with the boys at the grain elevator about the quality of the harvest, walking through the fields giving life lessons about how things grow, sitting on the porch at night loving the quiet.
But .. Jesus in the suburbs? Stuck in traffic, or running between soccer games and music lessons, or worrying about how to get a decent dinner on the table? Um.. no. Somehow it doesn't work.
So his first sermon text got right to the busy-ness issue with the story of Mary and Martha, where He says: "Martha, Martha... you're worried and upset about so many things" and basically tells her to sit still, stop all her fussing, and be more like her lazy-ass sister. ;)
The pastor suggested that we allow ourselves to be bored. No other species is even capable of boredom, as far as we know. It's a perfectly human state to be in, may actually be theraputic, and something that we ought to welcome now and then. :)
And all the while he was preaching, I kept hearing this nagging little Voice in my head. You know the One. Or .. at least I do. He doesn't do this often, so when He does, I have to pay attention. He said
"Go offline."
That's it. I checked again to see if I heard Him right. mmhmm.
"Go offline."
Would you mind elaborating a bit? I'm slow.
"Go offline."
He rarely does this, either, so even more important.. He elaborated.
"Not forever; a couple of hours a day will do. Just shut off your music, close your IM session, put the Mac to sleep, so you don't hear the ding of new email. You don't need the constant stimuli - it's okay to be bored. Go offline."
Wow. Okay. I guess I'll try it. Maybe while I'm studying? I'll try to figure out a time.
Thanks for the advice. I'll.. give it a try. :)
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Relatively speaking
(...in this case I really mean relationally speaking, as in relative to one another.)
In TS503 we are starting out with the Doctrine of the Holy Spirit. In parallel with the required text, I'm also reading for my own benefit The Trinity in Asian Perspective by Jung Young Lee, referred to in an earlier post. No doubt you'll be seeing more quotes from him as the quarter goes along. :)
Here's a starter set, first discussing the fuzzily relative nature of the many opposites found in this world - cold/hot, dark/light, work/rest, male/female, East/West, happy/sad, movement/stillness, etc., and the way we use symbols to discuss them:
"It is important to recognize the symbolic nature of yin and yang. Yin and yang are not entities in themselves but only symbols that point to actual entities. In this respect, the yin and yang symbolic approach is different from a process approach, which uses entities to describe the world. Yin and yang are always symbolic. Thus, strictly speaking, yin is not dark, female, or earth, and yang is not light, male, or heaven. Yin simply represents or symbolizes these elements, just as yang represents their polar opposites.
"When relationship is more fundamental than substance, relativity is inevitable. Since [the concept of] yin only exists in its relationship to yang, and yang in its relationship to yin, the existence of one is determined by the existence of the 'other.' Yin cannot exist alone without yang, just as yang cannot exist without yin. This mutually dependent relationship makes yin-yang symbolic thinking relative. In the symbolic nature of yin and yang, any absolute is always relatively defined.
"I am 'yin' in my relation to my father, who is 'yang' in his relation to me. However, I am 'yang' in relation to my children, who are in turn 'yin' in their relation to me. As we see, it is not 'I' as an actual entity that determines the character of my being a yin or yang symbol. Rather it is my status in relation to the 'other' which determines my symbolic character.
"Light is relative to darkness, since light is [understood as] light because of darkness. In the same manner, darkness is darkness because of light. Light and darkness cannot exist independently but always in relation to each other.
"If we think that yang is masculine and yin is feminine, we must say that the masculine nature in men includes [aspects of] the feminine nature, just as the feminine nature in women includes the masculine nature. The male and female are opposite but are in complementary relationship. When yin is incomplete, it needs yang to complete it. Likewise, because yang is not complete [in itself], it needs yin to complete it. Yin is complete in yang and yang in yin, which is the Great Ultimate [the Tao].
"The complementary relationship of opposites is then necessary for the whole. When the whole becomes a primary concern of its parts, complementary dualism is possible. In yin and yang symbolism, the whole takes precedence over the parts.
"Yin and yang are relative to each other. Yin and Yang are complementary to each other. Yin and yang always coexist without losing their distinctive identity."
:)
I like that. The whole becoming a primary concern of its parts. Especially in human relationships. It's probably most easily understood in terms of a man and a woman, though it can certainly be broadened beyond that, too.
When the parts think less of their individual concerns and more of the concerns of the relationship as a whole.. they can be dualistic, but complementary. Retain their individuality, but see it in the context of relating with each other.
Yeah. Nice.
In TS503 we are starting out with the Doctrine of the Holy Spirit. In parallel with the required text, I'm also reading for my own benefit The Trinity in Asian Perspective by Jung Young Lee, referred to in an earlier post. No doubt you'll be seeing more quotes from him as the quarter goes along. :)
Here's a starter set, first discussing the fuzzily relative nature of the many opposites found in this world - cold/hot, dark/light, work/rest, male/female, East/West, happy/sad, movement/stillness, etc., and the way we use symbols to discuss them:
"It is important to recognize the symbolic nature of yin and yang. Yin and yang are not entities in themselves but only symbols that point to actual entities. In this respect, the yin and yang symbolic approach is different from a process approach, which uses entities to describe the world. Yin and yang are always symbolic. Thus, strictly speaking, yin is not dark, female, or earth, and yang is not light, male, or heaven. Yin simply represents or symbolizes these elements, just as yang represents their polar opposites.
"When relationship is more fundamental than substance, relativity is inevitable. Since [the concept of] yin only exists in its relationship to yang, and yang in its relationship to yin, the existence of one is determined by the existence of the 'other.' Yin cannot exist alone without yang, just as yang cannot exist without yin. This mutually dependent relationship makes yin-yang symbolic thinking relative. In the symbolic nature of yin and yang, any absolute is always relatively defined.
"I am 'yin' in my relation to my father, who is 'yang' in his relation to me. However, I am 'yang' in relation to my children, who are in turn 'yin' in their relation to me. As we see, it is not 'I' as an actual entity that determines the character of my being a yin or yang symbol. Rather it is my status in relation to the 'other' which determines my symbolic character.
"Light is relative to darkness, since light is [understood as] light because of darkness. In the same manner, darkness is darkness because of light. Light and darkness cannot exist independently but always in relation to each other.
"If we think that yang is masculine and yin is feminine, we must say that the masculine nature in men includes [aspects of] the feminine nature, just as the feminine nature in women includes the masculine nature. The male and female are opposite but are in complementary relationship. When yin is incomplete, it needs yang to complete it. Likewise, because yang is not complete [in itself], it needs yin to complete it. Yin is complete in yang and yang in yin, which is the Great Ultimate [the Tao].
"The complementary relationship of opposites is then necessary for the whole. When the whole becomes a primary concern of its parts, complementary dualism is possible. In yin and yang symbolism, the whole takes precedence over the parts.
"Yin and yang are relative to each other. Yin and Yang are complementary to each other. Yin and yang always coexist without losing their distinctive identity."
:)
I like that. The whole becoming a primary concern of its parts. Especially in human relationships. It's probably most easily understood in terms of a man and a woman, though it can certainly be broadened beyond that, too.
When the parts think less of their individual concerns and more of the concerns of the relationship as a whole.. they can be dualistic, but complementary. Retain their individuality, but see it in the context of relating with each other.
Yeah. Nice.
Cough, sneeze, cough some more
Ugh.
I feel the way Wisconsin must feel after being pounded by Davidson last night. Something that seemed inconsequential snuck up on me and then laid me flat.
What seemed to be a harmless little throat tickle has turned into a full blown head and chest cold. Ick.
And I've sneezed and coughed so hard over the last 2 days that my rib cage is sore. :(
The only time I don't cough is when I'm sleeping. So at least I haven't been up all night because of it.
Hope I feel better by the time the concert starts tonight, or the people sitting around me will be a tad resentful.
Cough, sneeze, cough.
Bleh.
I feel the way Wisconsin must feel after being pounded by Davidson last night. Something that seemed inconsequential snuck up on me and then laid me flat.
What seemed to be a harmless little throat tickle has turned into a full blown head and chest cold. Ick.
And I've sneezed and coughed so hard over the last 2 days that my rib cage is sore. :(
The only time I don't cough is when I'm sleeping. So at least I haven't been up all night because of it.
Hope I feel better by the time the concert starts tonight, or the people sitting around me will be a tad resentful.
Cough, sneeze, cough.
Bleh.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Music Reviews: Charlotte Gainsbourg, Mae, Straylight Run, Motion City Soundtrack, Relient K
Okay, one more review to clean up the old J2 inventory (along with one newer one not from him.) But before I launch into that.. here comes an NCAA weekend! Yay! Should be fun. And a concert weekend! Yaay! Should be even more fun. And a study weekend! Yaa..
Oh. Well, two out of three...
Charlotte Gainsbourg - "5:55": Breathy, smooth, acoustic, gentle, French accent.. mmmm. :) I like this girl. Simple piano and guitar most of the time, with a vocal delivery that reminds one of a poet reading her material and then gently breaking into song. Her songs sound a bit like those of Marketa Irglova from the movie Once, when she occasionally solos. Favorites: the title track, Somewhere Between Waking and Sleeping, Jamais, Little Monsters, Beauty Mark, The Songs that We Sing, Tel Que Tu Es, The Operation. Two thumbs up. :)
And now the last of the Christmas uploads from J2. Now I can head out to iTunes again. In moderation, of course, thanks to Lent's recalibrating of my appetites. ;)
Mae - "Singularity": Hey! These guys are really good! :) What a solid rock sound, with fine vocals, good songs, great playing. Not one bad track on this CD. They have been a favorite of J2's for a while, and I can see why. I like them, too. The songs I like best are Brink of Disaster, Crazy 8s, Just Let Go, Last Transmission II, Release Me, Waiting. Two thumbs up - good CD.
Relient K - "Five Score and Seven Years Ago": These guys are at the top of their game now. The sound has matured, the gimmicks are few and far between, the vocals and playing are solid, songwriting strong & unapologetic, same great harmonies and positive outlook on things. What a good CD this is. :) Deathbed is a really interesting track - an 11 minute tale of a 74 year old about to die, reviewing his life. Two thumbs up for this CD. I like all tracks, especially Up and Up, Plead the Fifth (very BeachBoysian and not nearly long enough, but the bonus track Sloop John B makes up for it), Must Have Done Something Right, Give Until There's Nothing Left, I'm Taking You With Me, Devastation and Reform.
Motion City Soundtrack - "Even if it Kills Me": Hmmm, let's see... Relient K but less positive? Matchbook Romance with better vocals? :) And with songs maybe not quite as catchy. Pretty good, though, for these MPLS natives. It wouldn't hurt for them to move the language from R to PG-13, though; they could still get their point across. Despite that, I liked This is for Real, It Had to be You, Last Night, Calling All Cops, Point of Extinction, Antonia. But still, only one thumb up.
Straylight Run - self-titled CD, and "The Needles The Space": Kinda nice. :) A little emo, but maybe with more variety and depth than that. Mostly laid-back stuff, with the occasional hard-driving rock song. The bulk of the songs are very accessible and either acoustic guitar- or piano-driven. The vocals are shared male and female, and it's a nice change from some of the mono-gender bands of this variety.
iTunes says they toured with Motion City Soundtrack and Taking Back Sunday, and I can see that they offered to the gigs a softer side. Very pleasant to listen to, but still a young sound. Favorites (from TNTS, the more uneven of the two CDs): The Words We Say, How Do I FIx My Head, Cover Your Eyes, This is the End, The First of the Century. From their first self-titled CD (the better of the two, I think): The Perfect Ending, The Tension and the Terror, Another Word For Desperate, Existentialism on Prom Night, Tool Sheds and Hot Tubs, Now It's Done, Sympathy for the Martyr.
So.. On Wisconsin! :) (with apologies to you badger-haters out there.)
Oh. Well, two out of three...
Charlotte Gainsbourg - "5:55": Breathy, smooth, acoustic, gentle, French accent.. mmmm. :) I like this girl. Simple piano and guitar most of the time, with a vocal delivery that reminds one of a poet reading her material and then gently breaking into song. Her songs sound a bit like those of Marketa Irglova from the movie Once, when she occasionally solos. Favorites: the title track, Somewhere Between Waking and Sleeping, Jamais, Little Monsters, Beauty Mark, The Songs that We Sing, Tel Que Tu Es, The Operation. Two thumbs up. :)
And now the last of the Christmas uploads from J2. Now I can head out to iTunes again. In moderation, of course, thanks to Lent's recalibrating of my appetites. ;)
Mae - "Singularity": Hey! These guys are really good! :) What a solid rock sound, with fine vocals, good songs, great playing. Not one bad track on this CD. They have been a favorite of J2's for a while, and I can see why. I like them, too. The songs I like best are Brink of Disaster, Crazy 8s, Just Let Go, Last Transmission II, Release Me, Waiting. Two thumbs up - good CD.
Relient K - "Five Score and Seven Years Ago": These guys are at the top of their game now. The sound has matured, the gimmicks are few and far between, the vocals and playing are solid, songwriting strong & unapologetic, same great harmonies and positive outlook on things. What a good CD this is. :) Deathbed is a really interesting track - an 11 minute tale of a 74 year old about to die, reviewing his life. Two thumbs up for this CD. I like all tracks, especially Up and Up, Plead the Fifth (very BeachBoysian and not nearly long enough, but the bonus track Sloop John B makes up for it), Must Have Done Something Right, Give Until There's Nothing Left, I'm Taking You With Me, Devastation and Reform.
Motion City Soundtrack - "Even if it Kills Me": Hmmm, let's see... Relient K but less positive? Matchbook Romance with better vocals? :) And with songs maybe not quite as catchy. Pretty good, though, for these MPLS natives. It wouldn't hurt for them to move the language from R to PG-13, though; they could still get their point across. Despite that, I liked This is for Real, It Had to be You, Last Night, Calling All Cops, Point of Extinction, Antonia. But still, only one thumb up.
Straylight Run - self-titled CD, and "The Needles The Space": Kinda nice. :) A little emo, but maybe with more variety and depth than that. Mostly laid-back stuff, with the occasional hard-driving rock song. The bulk of the songs are very accessible and either acoustic guitar- or piano-driven. The vocals are shared male and female, and it's a nice change from some of the mono-gender bands of this variety.
iTunes says they toured with Motion City Soundtrack and Taking Back Sunday, and I can see that they offered to the gigs a softer side. Very pleasant to listen to, but still a young sound. Favorites (from TNTS, the more uneven of the two CDs): The Words We Say, How Do I FIx My Head, Cover Your Eyes, This is the End, The First of the Century. From their first self-titled CD (the better of the two, I think): The Perfect Ending, The Tension and the Terror, Another Word For Desperate, Existentialism on Prom Night, Tool Sheds and Hot Tubs, Now It's Done, Sympathy for the Martyr.
So.. On Wisconsin! :) (with apologies to you badger-haters out there.)
Thursday, March 27, 2008
To _____
But once I dared to lift my eyes,
To lift my eyes to thee;
And, since that day, beneath the skies,
No other sight they see.
In vain sleep shuts them in the night.
The night grows day to me,
Presenting idly to my sight
What still a dream must be.
A fatal dream--for many a bar
Divides thy fate from mine;
And still my passions wake and war,
But peace be still with thine.
----- Lord Byron
(and yes, that really is the title! Still, it makes you wonder..)
I doubt that it's generic verse,
writ for every girl the same,
there is but one who knows it's hers -
she whom he must never name.
:)
I love poetry. It conveys so much with so little.
To lift my eyes to thee;
And, since that day, beneath the skies,
No other sight they see.
In vain sleep shuts them in the night.
The night grows day to me,
Presenting idly to my sight
What still a dream must be.
A fatal dream--for many a bar
Divides thy fate from mine;
And still my passions wake and war,
But peace be still with thine.
----- Lord Byron
(and yes, that really is the title! Still, it makes you wonder..)
I doubt that it's generic verse,
writ for every girl the same,
there is but one who knows it's hers -
she whom he must never name.
:)
I love poetry. It conveys so much with so little.
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