Multiple Inhibition Disorder

... otherwise known as Schizomania (or to put it in layman's terms, social mood vacillation.)

Author Douglas Coupland is one for coining new terms and phrases for observed conditions and experiences not heretofore defined. Today I contribute to the literature, in my own small way.

In his latest book, PlayerOne (which I read on Thanksgiving break - yay, love recreational reading!), he defines the "Inhibition Spectrum", which is represented by degrees of deviation from "normal" (whatever that is). Here is his concept, best read by finding "normal" and reading from it in either direction, left or right:

madness <-- talks to self <-- rants <-- no off button <-- life of the party <-- talkative <-- "normal" --> shy --> quiet --> reclusive loner --> scary loner --> hermit --> Unabomber

While Coupland doesn't state it, it seems obvious that his spectrum serves to label the X-axis of the Standard Normal (or "bell") curve, with about 2/3 of the people sitting somewhere between "life of the party" and "quiet". This range would encompass +/- one Standard Deviation from the mean of "normal". A second Standard Deviation would take you out as far as "rants" and "scary loner"; 95% of the people are within those bounds. The other 5% are... out there. Way out there.

No doubt you can find yourself on the spectrum. I can, too. But... I can also find myself in more than one spot. Uh, oh.

I am usually slightly right of center (no political comments, please. Even if they are true) on the chart. But depending on the situation, the people I'm with, the level of anxiety or euphoria (not to mention caffeine or alcohol) in my system, I can just as easily be the life of the party or a reclusive loner, all within the same 24 hour period. I have not yet identified a pattern for sure, but I have some ideas about what may cause me to swing that wildly. Regardless of the onset causes, I choose to call the syndrome Multiple Inhibition Disorder, or Schizomania, the unexpected oscillation of social mood.

I'm sure it's a disability under the ADA rules. If not, it should be. If it persists through the holidays, I may apply.