Saturday, January 31, 2009

Music Reviews: Erin McCarley, Adele, The Go-Go's, The Bird and the Bee

Before I launch into this latest set (a looooong set, too - guess I'll do it in two parts), I have to plug a new website I found that does nothing but music reviews (including samples.)  

Music I like, too - several artists are on there who I knew of already (like Madita, Melody Gardot, Aline De Lima, Asa, etc.), but also many who are new to me.  Lots of Euro singers & bands. Check it out, become a follower!

Okay, on to the reviews, part one - girls first.

Erin McCarley - "Love, Save The Empty": This was another of Amazon's $1.99 specials. And another goodie, too. This girl is the latest in a long chain of sweet-voiced female soloists with light rock backing, a'la Ingrid Michaelson, Colbie Caillat, etc.

And she has caught herself a nice break by having the title track picked for the new movie coming out this month, "he's just not that into you". That song is nice, as are Pony, Sticky-Sweet, Lovesick Mistake, It's Not That Easy, Pitter-Pat, Gotta Figure This Out. The others are a bit quirky, but kind of fun, too. A nice debut, and certainly worth every penny of the $1.99 I paid. ;)

Adele - "19": This one came in from the library, finally, after I sat many weeks on the request list. This girl is cut from the same cloth (musically, at least) as Amy Winehouse, but without the razor's-edge severity and personal problems.

A really cool, edgy, retro-soul voice with songs to match. I like it! Favorites: Right as Rain, Daydreamer, First Love, Chasing Pavements, Make You Feel My Love, Hometown Glory.

The Go-Go's - "Beauty and the Beat": Amazon lured me in again. :) Only $.99 for this CD, for yet another 80's group I had ignored back when they were popular. They were a pleasant surprise. Kind of thin and reedy vocals, but upbeat and energetic, pleasant songs, and a really funny bit of cover art. Favorites: How Much More, Tonite, Lust To Love, This Town, Skidmarks On My Heart.

The Bird and the Bee - "Ray Guns Are Not Just The Future": I wondered when this electronic duo (he on keys & beats, she on vocals & guitar) were going to put out another CD. Hadn't heard anything new from them since D and I saw them on their concert tour a year ago.

But a great CD is worth the wait, right? And this one qualifies. Bless Amazon.mp3 for selling it for $3.99 during its first week out! Love her voice, and the songs are smooth & modern without excessive electronica. Sort of like Stereolab, but home-grown and more sedate. Favorites: My Love, Diamond Dave, Ray Gun, You're A Cad, Birthday, Lifespan of a Fly.

Next up - the boys.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Where is the customer in all this?

Well, another trip to KC and back safely handled. :) Weather was not a factor in my drive down, or back, so it was as predictable and uneventful as usual.

Even the cop who stopped me by Owatonna was nice. Really, he had no specific complaint (and I gave him no cause for one), he just felt like cautioning me about the blowing snow outside of town. I think he was bored. ;)

And, other than the morning backaches from an uncomfortable mattress, the way too early meetings, and the 30 minutes from the hotel to the office... I can hardly complain (though I do seem to try.)

What really struck me was a combination of the self-focused tone of the meetings, getting news (by email) of people I know facing job cutbacks, and the same-old-same-old partisan wrangling in Washington about the stimulus package. It was a juxtaposition that worried me, and I think I need to air it out a bit. For my own sake.

I guess it's part of my ongoing frustration/disappointment with supporting myself by working for Corporate America. With the news being all about the stimulus package (both the dire need for it and the lack of bipartisan consensus in congress over it), with sidebar press releases from one large corporation after another announcing layoffs or forced furloughs, it was disheartening to spend another 3 days in meetings with people whose only thought was personal success via contributing to corporate success (i.e. a better bottom line).

In our discussions of planning for 2009, and how to achieve the corporate targets we'll be held to, not once - not once - did we discuss the welfare of the customer. The only individuals whose welfare we discussed were the people in the room. How can WE succeed? If WE can bring in what the company wants, they will be happy and WE will be better off. The customer? The injured worker whose claim we will handle? Not relevant to our discussions except in a tangential way.

There were points in the conversation where I simply wanted to walk out in protest. Maybe my idealism was showing itself again.. at least it was under the surface. I've learned not to voice it, if I want to be seen as a "team player". And so I feel hypocritical, not being willing to practice my convictions.

And then, I read the emails I've gotten with news about layoffs that have reached old friends, of forced retirements and buyouts. And my hypocrisy takes a back seat to my desire to NOT go back to being unemployed again. At least not while I have bills to pay, for myself and for others. Which is the position I'll be in for several more years.

But, I did come to a decision today, driving home from KC. A long trip like that is good for hashing out ideas. I think it's time I set myself a target date for graduation from Seminary. And I have a plan now, a stake in the ground, a finish line in sight. May of 2012. :)

I can do it. And God willing, I will do it. Until then I will not be thumbing my nose at Corporate America. Later, maybe. When I stop fearing the consequences of living my ideals. ;)

Monday, January 26, 2009

Lonesome Town

Heading south again for a few days; business meetings and talking heads (mine included.) It'll be about 20 degrees warmer, yes, but.. not in the restaurant. Not in the lounge. Not in the hotel room.

Every time I travel alone, a couple of songs get stuck in my head, and I have to push them out with borrowed CDs to review. :) The songs are Ricky Nelson's "Lonesome Town", and Jack Jones singing "Dear Heart" ("a single room... a table for one... it's a lonesome town, alright.")

So, I'll be trying to focus on Weezer, The Verve, Adele and Ratatat instead. Maybe that'll help.

See you at week's end - with reviews.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Those who presume to teach others

... will be held to a greater standard. (James 3:1)

Today I teach a class on serving others. The key verse is

"They will be like a well-watered garden, and they will sorrow no more. Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow." (Jeremiah 31:12-13)

And we'll discuss the who, what, when, where, why, and how of serving, so that we can turn people's mourning to gladness.

Every time I do something like this, even though I feel like God has shown me a little something to say about it, I am aware of how much I fall short of the ideal - how much I COULD be doing... and don't.

There are so many needs...

Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Push & Pull of the Past

Now and then I experience an undefined heartache that I could never explain if I wanted to. Recently someone quite close to me said this on her blog, in which she sporadically posts her observations on life:


The character Lillith, on the season finale of "Frasier", astutely observed that "with one hand the past holds us back and with the other it pulls us forward." I have found that very true.

We are all the end product of the sum of our parts, be they good, be they bad, regrettable, or vindicating. And as we settle into new chapters in our lives, we often experience a longing for what we have just left, even if it did not always give us pleasure. Sometimes the fact that it just was, and could be counted on to be, creates an unexpected ache. I suspect that we are creatures of habit, and within familiarity lies comfort. Then again, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Therefore, there is no shame in looking back, as long as you do not lose sight of what lies ahead of you as well.



Well said, J1. Though our circumstances differ, you still captured well the unexplainable churnings of my own heart.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Responsibility, Humility, Civility

Nice article here by Joe Klein in TIME:
 
 
Boring ideas, these.  But really good ones when it comes to defining us as a nation.
 
One can only hope...  and I do.  :)
 
 

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Same thing, only different. Real different.

Here we go again.  The White House has yet another occupant who claims descent from the British Isles.  You know, if it weren't for those Roosevelt boys and that Van Buren guy, they'd all be English or Irish or Scottish or some such mix.  Now we have this O'Bama dude, one more Irishman, with some English in him to boot.
 
Ho hum.  Gee, can't we ever get someone who is of a different ethnicity?  I mean, c'mon!  America is supposed to be a melting pot! 
 
Oh.  Ha. 
 
I forgot about the Kenyan part.  :)  He's only HALF English/Irish.
 
Our new prez really IS the great American melting pot.  He and Tiger.
 
Hey, there's an idea.  Michelle & Barack ought to invite Elin & Tiger Woods to the White House for dinner.   The O'Bama girls could babysit the Woods baby while the grownups visit.  

Later have the men (the mutts) stand side by side, framed by the black & white women (the purebreds), with the girls holding the baby in the front.  Now there's a multi-hued picture for you.  Between where they've lived and their ethnic heritages, I think they have ALL the continents covered.   (my family only covers three...)
 
That's America for you.   Purebred or mutt... it doesn't matter.  
Anybody can be top dog.
 
 

Monday, January 19, 2009

The Phlebotomist's Revenge

Finally, I'm getting around to this.  I've been, um... inconvenienced.  Still am, really.  Using a series of borrowed computers to get this post up.  I won't be as prolific here this week, for sure. 

Some of you are relieved, I know.  
 
I came back Saturday night from my trip to the doctor, and was getting set to upload pictures to have a little show and tell with you... when my Mac's hard drive crashes.  Aaaah!  

Yuk.  I don't want to think about it.  Let's go to a movie or something.  Emma Thompson & Dustin Hoffman?  Not bad.
 
But join me, will you, kids, in a salute to backup?  All is safe.  :)  And I was still within warranty - by one whole day.  Really, one day left.  

Whew!  So all it is, really, is just a pain in the posterior to have the computer in the shop at the Apple store until Saturday.  
 
A real pain.  Not unlike the pain in my hands and arms from falling prey to the night shift at the lab!  I think the technicians on duty after 9PM are a bit lower on the food chain in the bloodletting biz. ("Phlebotomy apprentice, junior grade, reporting for duty, sir!") 
 
I also think they see the rare patient unwarily entering their lair as a perfect subject for practicing their dark arts, all in alignment with their motto: "Try it!  If you guess wrong, you can always apologize later!"  You know, I always try to tell them what works and what doesn't on me, but they never listen.  "Mind if I just try it here?"  Well, go ahead.  It won't be the last mistake you'll make, either, I'm sure.
 
Let's see, here's the final tally:  6 vials (one tossed, five filled), three punctures, two blown veins, one nicked nerve, three needles, one syringe (finally figured out it would help to suction the blood before another collapse ensued), three sets of bandages, two technicians, multiple apologies and untold alcohol swabs. 


It's a good thing that I wasn't taking my usual baby aspirin (laid off for knee surgery and post-op recovery), or I'd have black and blue arms and hands, too.  Jeepers!  On the way out, I grabbed some unsuspecting janitors to snap this pic for my potential malpractice suit.  ;)  (Just kidding, of course.)  They thought it was kinda funny, though.   Hahahahaha.  Yeah.
 
I'm telling you - tattoo needles are less torture than this is.  But I suppose in the end, I had the revenge, as it was worth all this confrontation of my needlephobia to get the results that I got.

Woohoo!  After 7 months of being off the cholesterol meds, the diabetes meds and the blood pressure meds, all readings are well within normal ranges.  

Yay!  Down from 5 prescriptions to 2, hopefully for good.  :)
 
So a little celebrating was in order.  Wish it could've been with someone... but so it goes.  I just pretended it was. 
 
Headed first to the working-class south side, where you can get great ethnic food at low prices. 


Had a late lunch at this funky little place on KK in Bay View - Cafe' Centraal (a Dutch theme). 


I had recently "stumbled upon" their website, and ... yummy.  Quiche Lorraine and split pea soup.  mmm.  And a cool neighborhood.  Sort of what Brady Street used to be before it got über-hip.
 


Before I left the area, though, I stuck my head in a comic book store nearby the cafe, on the off chance I could see a copy of the new Spiderman comic with Obama in it.  "All sold out within the first hour", the guy said. 
 
Yeah, I figured as much.  So I head to my car, and as I'm getting in the clerk comes running out yelling "Sir!, Sir!  Wait!"  What?  "I found a copy the owner read and brought back in."  Oh yeah?  Cool.  Perfect shape, too.  Thanks, buddy.  I'll credit you on my blog. Nice souvenir of the pre-inaugural weekend.  Dumb story, but.. cool illustrations.


Then north to the East Side for a movie: "Slumdog Millionaire" at the Downer.  Nice.  And definitely Oscar material, like they're saying.


And coincidentally a sister restaurant to Cafe Centraal, Cafe Hollander, is kitty-corner from the theatre.  The same people own both, apparently, along with the Trocadero (parisian).  Very Euro.


All this from the manager at Cafe Centraal who elaborated for this "tourist" from Minnesota on the key differences between the East Side neighborhoods, River West & Brady Street, the Third Ward, and the resurgent Bay View ("the new east side", he says.)  I played along.
 
Of all the old neighborhoods, I think I still like 'Tosa best, though, thanks.  I'm partial to the area between State St. and Lisbon, west of Hawley Rd to about, oh.. Menomonee River Parkway or so.  Such beauty in there.  Certain parts are just breathtaking.  :)
 
Then off to Cousins' subs for the best philly cheesesteak this side of the Allegheny (a double, of course.)  A little less cosmopolitan, but no less great.
 
Then back to the room to read a little church history for HS501.  That, plus the Spidey comic, a little Dr. McGillicudy's and a TV movie helped keep me from staring at the cell phone all night, wondering if it would ring. 
 
Finally by morning I was ready to go home, only to find that the atmosphere had definitely warmed up a bit!  Aww... a nice little sendoff as I headed out.  No chill in the air anymore.  :)

So, bye for now...
 


Snowed most of the way home, but not enough to bother the drive.  And I had some CDs along to pass the time.  Review of a few of them (incl. Weezer & Adele) to follow soon...
 
So, in sum, the trip wasn't everything I had hoped it might be, no, but... I'm all right, I guess.  :)  Good, in fact. 
 
Yeah.  I'm good.
 
 

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Blog, interrupted

... by a hard drive crash. 

What a nice surprise to come home to.  :(  

Not sure how long until all systems are back up. We'll see what tech support says later today. In the meantime I'm in search of an alternative computing platform. This blogging by cell phone doesn't cut it...

Friday, January 16, 2009

believe

.


when you give your word
when you say it's forever
when you give your heart


.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

winter


.




ski trails in the yard

drifts snuggle with the mailbox

minnesota snow



.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Teleworking in a cold snap

...is a marvelous thing!  :)

I haven't left the house for 3 days, and I don't care.  Who wants to?

Oh, I do feel kind of bad for those (yes, incl. D) who have to venture out to work or school, but... not so bad that I want to voluntarily share the experience of water vapor from your breath causing your nostril hairs to moisten up and freeze solid, only to melt and drip down your lip when you go inside. Not cool.  It makes one look, um.. unintentionally dishabille, if you follow me.

Not that I can avoid this forever, either.  Tomorrow I hop in the car and head a few hours to the southeast in order to be poked, sampled, and scolded (probably!) by my endocrine doc.  Looks like I'll both drive there & arrive in the deep freeze, although by the time I head home, it should be warming up.  Outside, anyway...

I'll bring HS501 reading material, of course.  But maybe also go see a movie.  Something warm like "Slumdog Millionaire", perhaps.  

Maybe then I'll be less conscious of the chill in the air.


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Social Networks and Relationships

The evangelical church we go to has been having a series of discussions for adults during the hour prior to the worship service, when the kids are in classes. This Sunday and next it will be our turn to lead the discussion on the next assigned topics in the series.

The series is mostly on "what does faith look like during difficult times?" This week - the importance of relationships. Next week - the importance of serving those in need.

This week D will lead and I will do support, then next week we switch. My support for this week consists of greeting, plus creating and tallying a little survey on relationships, both within and outside the church. Yay! Statistics! :)

But writing up the survey this week got me thinking about the impact of social networking sites on relationships. I have this nagging worry that the Facebooks of the world, coupled with instant messaging, texting, and email, are going to move us to become a culture of broad but shallow, or in other words "a mile wide and an inch deep."

I mean, it's not a bad thing to have more breadth, right?  To get outside our parochial little circle and "see the world", even virtually.  But I fear we are trading depth to get that breadth. We amass 436 "friends" on Facebook from all over the world, but then have to filter that list down to our 40 or so "top friends" - the ones we might occasionally talk to.  Electronically.  Maybe.

Electronic communication can easily be ignored, filtered or blocked (as in you're wanting it to be out-of-sight-out-of-mind). This is analogous to not answering the knock at your door, ignoring (or silencing) your phone's ringer, or pretending you just don't hear the greeting or see the wave from passersby.  See what I mean?  ;)

In essence, when routine communication is reduced to primarily electronic means (digital), and not face-face or voice-voice (analog), we can hide. We can easily become as isolated, and even as anonymous, as we want to be. 

You can become a "digitarian" or even a "digi-vegan".  (Oooh, I think I just coined new phrases!  They'll show up at the above links in a few days, they tell me.)

Really, it's worse than that, though.  It's not just about me hiding. Our entire web of social relationships can become reduced to the overlap between our privacy settings/practices and the privacy settings & practices of other people - no more than what is allowable by me... or by you. Combined.

The only antidote to isolation is community. Community forces personal interaction and relationships, including with people we'd really rather avoid. It helps you avoid becoming insular, seeing only what you want to see, hearing only what you want to hear.

But how do you "do community" without totally abandoning digital, going analog with all your communication, becoming anti-digitarian, so to speak? Or can you just cut down on your digital usage?  

How do you have relationships with a digital component, but safeguard against your own or others' tendency to retreat behind filters, firewalls, and privacy settings?

When do you pick up the phone and speak live, instead of leaving messages (text or voicemail)? When do you meet for coffee or recreate together or volunteer together, instead of emailing or posting links about it?

More to the point, I guess, how do we...

you and me...



stay together?

and not drift apart? :(

private

.


just the outside view
no one gets to come inside
anonymity


.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Oh, the indignity!

Yesterday's post was bad enough. Now today I must report that I got picked on by an old woman at the gym. Literally pushed around, for goodness' sake!

Now I'm sporting a bandaid where my hand got cut against a rusty, metal handrail. Tetanus! Ahhhh! Mean old woman...

Well, maybe it wasn't so dramatic as all that. But I did bleed.

The track was crowded again today. Lots of people still trying to keep their New Year's resolutions, I think. And one old woman, kinda short, with a Pillsbury Dough-Boy build, was moving kinda slow on her way around the track. More than once as I ran by, I wanted to hear her go "oooh-hooo", but... I resisted the obvious impulse. ;)

She got revenge, though, for my disrespectful thought. Even though she was going pretty slowly, she was faster than the guy with a cane ahead of her. She moves out to pass him about 50 feet before she needed to, oblivious to anyone behind her.

So, I move to the inside to go quickly past her and then later go around the cane-guy, but at the last second she decides she was out there too soon, I guess, and...

moved back to the inside. Where I was heading by! Jeepers, lady - check over at least one of your two shoulders, huh?

So to avoid plowing into her, I hit the railing instead and gouged my hand on a protrusion. And this was after 2.5 miles, so I was kind of on autopilot thinking about keeping my pace up. I did brush her a bit, and she apologized as I stumbled by, but mostly I impacted the railing - which was not real forgiving.

I finished the 3 1/4 miles, and didn't drip blood once on the track. Kinda hard to run while licking a cut, though, so I walked the rest.

Grrr. And I had it going on, too. Mean old woman...

Saturday, January 10, 2009

It's official

I'm now a member of the old guy club.   :(

Dang it!  I knew this would happen sometime, but it sure snuck up on me unawares.

Here I am in the locker room after my run yesterday, sitting in front of the fan, drinking a diet coke and dripping sweat, and this white-haired guy with a huuuuuge belly slowly waddles in from the pool.   

(You know the kind of belly I mean, right?  It's big enough to be separately introduced...)

Besides the belly, he's sporting a pretty snappy transportation assistance device, too - "a combination walker & workout gear caddy", he says, as he fishes his gym bag out from an open compartment between the wheels. 

(Actually, it looked suspiciously like a large infant stroller, but who am I to undermine an old guy's manhood?)

So with a big sigh, he plunks his ample butt down on a bench nearby, and a conversation ensues:



You look kinda worn out there.


Yep, three miles'll do that to ya. To me, anyway...


Hoh!  I guess it would.
They say it's good for you.


Yeah, I think they're right. I do feel better. 
Except when I'm actually doing the running part.


Ha. Yeah. That's why I don't run. 
That and my two knee replacements.

Two!

Yeah.  See these scars? And that bump? 
It's a piece of my hip that they had to transplant. 
Don't ask me why - never figured that one out.


Hm. How about that...


They're guaranteed for 25 years each, the doc said.
Like I'm going to live that long.


Yeah, imagine what you could do with all that extra time.  
Provided you could find something useful to do, that is.  
Personally, I'm hard pressed to find something useful 
to do right now, much less 25 years from now. 
 

A'yup, that's the trick, ain't it?
My surgeon was a runner, and he said after he replaced these two babies for me, that I oughtta take it up myself, having fresh knees and all. Somehow, I never felt like it. 
(grins and pats his massive belly proudly..)


Hm. I guess I'm just glad I can run at all. 
Just had knee surgery last month myself. 
Only arthroscopic, so just these little puncture marks here, see?  
And just like the surgeon said, after four weeks, 
here I am back running again.  Oh boy, huh?


I suppose so. It'd be nice if a fella could enjoy working out, you know?


Yeah, I know. That'd be nice.
Well.. I think I'm cooled off now. See ya around.


Yup.  Oh hey?  Turn that fan off on your way out, would ya?  
I haven't worked up a sweat like you.

Oh, okay.  Sure.  So long then.




And as I walked out I realized... oh no. I've crossed over.



.

old guys at the gym
talk about their surgeries
senior bragging rights

.


First there was the AARP direct mail solicitation, now this.  Yikes!  What's next, 25 cent coffee at McDonald's?  Meals on wheels?  

For now, though, I think I'll hold off on buying a stroll.. oops, sorry, I mean the custom walker-and-workout-gear-caddy combo. 

I think I'll wait until after I've walked around the Swiss Alps in April and run a 10K right here in May.   Then maybe.  ;)

Friday, January 09, 2009

Oooh! Oooh! Ich gehe in die Schweiz!

Yahooooo!

Switzerland, here I come! :D

Just got word today that I've been invited by my company to their global actuarial conference in Zurich at the end of March/beginning of April.  

Of course, I'll extend a few days on one side or another.  Milano is only a couple of hours away!  Innsbruck and Munich, too!  

Woohoo!  Another stamp in the passport!  Or two!!  Three!!!  Four!!!!



Wait now... I'll be there on April Fool's Day.  Um... I haven't had such good luck with that day.  :(

Maybe this year, though, it'll be a good day for me.  Hope so.  :)


Thursday, January 08, 2009

Dinner with Wiki

Several times now, Wikipedia has been our guest for dinner, usually after a preliminary consultation with Google.

With D's laptop sitting on the kitchen counter, three feet from the dining table, we no longer have to sit and be confounded by a topic of conversation about which the true facts elude us. 

Pre-wireless, we used to either throw up our hands and say, "who knows?", or simply have a contest as to which of us could make up the more believable "facts". :) Now, we reach for the MacBook, and the world's information is at our fingertips!

"Pearl onions" was last night's example.

They happened to be included in a yummy vegetable mélange from Trader Joe's, which was accompanying the evening's entree of Hakkebøf. One of us scarfed them down gleefully, the other picked them out before serving. The conversation that ensued began as a discussion of the merits/deficiencies of pearl onions.



Why are you picking yours out?

I don't like the way they taste.

They taste like normal onions.

No, they don't.

Sure they do.

They do not.

Well, what do they taste like, then?

They just taste different.


If you fed me one, blindfolded, I would know it was an onion.


They don't taste like regular onions, that's all.

What do you mean regular? 

I mean normal onions.


Dey's all KINE o' onion in de worl', chile! What'chu mean normal?!?!

(note, that line was actually delivered in more of an upper-midwest scandinavian-accented jive.  Guess you sort of had to be there...)

You make it sound like they're not even onions at all!


I don't think they are.

What?!?

They're something else.

Like what?

I don't know! Where do YOU think they come from?


I always thought they were like baby carrots.   You know, little baby onions, either harvested real early, or maybe people "core" them out of what you call "regular" onions.


I don't think so. I think they're something else.

Like what? Like a bulb on the bottom of a scallion?

Scallions don't have bulbs.

I know that. But what else could they be?

Well!   There's one way to find out, isn't there?


(gets up and inquires of Google. Wikipedia then joins the discussion, proving that both of us were pretty ignorant. And one of us was definitely wrong.  Again.)



Turns out that pearl onions are a variant of a whole family of "tree onions". They grow on a bush or something. 

Really, they look kind of silly, and sorta cute.  :)  And yes, they're sweeter than "regular" onions.  Alright, alright.

Whatever the heck they are, one of us really likes them.  :)

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Stop complaining and get back to work!

Yup.

Think it's about that time.

Coming off 10 days of vacation is always hard, but it's not so bad if you've actually been able to bore yourself to tears while relaxing. :) Now, I wouldn't say my vacation went that far, but it hasn't been all that bad being back at work this week. And there's a couple of trips this month that will break it up a bit, too: a 2-day one to Milwaukee to see my endocrine specialist (semi-annual checkup with lab work), and 4 days in KC for a business meeting.

Grad school also starts up tomorrow night. This quarter it's HS501 - Church History, which covers from Jesus to the 14th century. Spring quarter will be HS502, which runs from the Reformation to today. Summer quarter will then be my independent study class, I hope: TS670 - Change and Relationality in God (or something like that.) No more recreational reading for a while! Hopefully I finish up with Mother Teresa tonight, and save the rest for later.

Then there's the knee. Still 3 visible puncture holes, with a puffy little bump around each one, but the overall swelling is gone, as is the bruising, and the hair is starting to grow back. :) Still looks a little like I'm wearing a tonsure around my kneecap. :P

But it held up well yesterday for a 5K of 2/3 running, 1/3 walking, and it isn't getting me up at night anymore. No more ice, and less Aleve. It still hurts if I bump it, and I can't yet kneel on it, but... soon that will change, too.

Can't complain, I guess. Which is the point of this post. :)

Life is almost back to what it was at the end of August.



Almost.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

paradiso

.


innamorata
dove siete è la
porta del cielo


.

Love, Risk, and Relationality

I've written here quite a bit recently about joy, love, desire, the idea of delight in the Beloved bringing joy and fulfilling desire, and what happens when that desire is unfulfilled. Well, yet another one of my books in the "recreational reading" stack has now brought this subject up. That makes three of the five now.

(Yikes! Make that 4 of 5. My latest, Umberto Eco's "The Name Of The Rose", just furnished this observation when comparing a variety of lusts, such as a lust for knowledge, or riches, or power, or affirmation, or pleasure: "Like all lusts ... it is sterile and has nothing to do with love ... true love wants the good of the beloved." Hm. More about the Beloved. Maybe I need a new stack of books!)

Regardless, I offer here an extended quote from "The God Who Risks" by John Sanders, a book in my stack, but a book which I'd also like to include in an independent study class this Summer on the notion of change and relationality in God.

(Incidentally, I ran into a prof at Caribou Coffee on Friday, and nailed down the committment to have him advise me on the class, so now... I have to write the syllabus for him to approve. Hey! I'll have something to do during the Summer Quarter now.) :)

So here's the quote. It's long and a little thick, but good. Thank God for scanners and OCR software. :)

*****

"Brummer identifies four characteristics of love that have some differences as well as some affinities to Vànstone’s. Brummer surveys various ways which Western thought has construed love. He concludes that traditionally it has been understood as attitudinal and as involving three aspects: intentions, evaluations and dispositions.

The attitude of love is intentional because it is something we resolve to carry out rather than something we simply experience, such as an itch. Love also involves an evaluation of the object loved. Love is not blind or indifferent to virtues and vices in the beloved. The lover is concerned to bring about the best for the beloved, and this cannot happen without a realistic appraisal of the beloved.

In theology this idea is usually discussed under the heading of the holiness of God. The holiness of God, it is said, can not tolerate sin and seeks to obliterate it, whereas the divine love brings forth mercy to the sinner. Emil Brunner, for instance, holds that holiness creates distance where love creates communion. Others have removed any form of evaluation from the notion of love, reducing love to sentimentality and permissiveness.

A better approach is to speak of God’s holy love, which cares deeply about the harm that the beloved does to herself. The anger, wrath and judgments of God are expressions of his caring love. Justice, holiness and wrath should not be placed alongside love as though they were equal attributes.

Rather, love is the preeminent characteristic of God and holiness and justice qualify the type of love God has while wrath is God’s response to particular situations and is not an attribute at all. God does not simply let us go our own way, for God desires to redeem us.

Love is not blind to the reality of what we are as sinners, nor does it dismiss us from the relationship without further ado. The divine caring is manifested in evaluating our situation and in God’s concern to open it to new possibilities. Finally, says Brummer, love is dispositional, or habitual, rather than occasional.

From time to time we may feel happy, grateful or afraid, but love is not a passing state. It is more like a policy that we publicly carry out in repeated actions with the intention of achieving the goal of a mature relationship.

Brummer adds a fourth characteristic to the three just described: the desire for reciprocation. This is important, he says, if we are to grasp the fact that love is more than a mere attitude;
it creates a relationship.

Love seeks the response of the other yet respects the personhood of the other. The lover desires that the beloved reciprocate the love and so bring to fruition the goal of the relationship. In this sense, love is between persons.

Persons in relation for the purpose of reciprocating love (the divine project) become the lens through which we view the type of providential relationship God has elected to have with the world.

The nature of love, as just defined, is evident in the life of Jesus. His love was persistent, dependent on the ability of others to receive it, evaluative and vulnerable. Everything did not go precisely as Jesus intended. His concerns were rejected by many who did not desire the new possibilities he sought to bring forth.

Nonetheless, he endured rejection, demonstrating the way of love as the way to a redemptive fttture, In this light it is possible to think of the apostle Paul’s description of agape love as applicable to God:

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude, It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentfiil; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Cor 13:4-7)

In the Christian tradition God has been described as loving, patient and enduring, but the fact that love does not selfishly insist on its own way has certainly been a neglected theme in discussions of providence and omnipotence. Instead, it has been common to insist, with Augustine, that “the will of the omnipotent is always undefeated.” Consequently, Paul’s conception of love, which entails vulnerability, has been subjugated to absolute power.

Finally, it hardly needs saying that it has not been customary to think of God as “believing” or “hoping” in anything. But if we begin with the understanding of God as bringing into being creatures with whom he desires to enter into loving relationships, then it is quite permissible to speak of God’s believing and hoping things will go a certain way.

For instance, the prophets proclaim that God repeatedly hoped Israel would put away its idols and return to him, but the people seldom did. God desired the early church to be made up of Jews and Gentiles, but it did not develop exactly as God had planned.

Paul’s characterization of love is appropriate for understanding the way of God with the world.

God creates in love, elects in love, commands in love, judges in love, incarnates in love and redeems in love."

*****

So... rather than seeing God's love as some altruistic, selfless and abstract concept that we can never hope to attain in this life, we can see God's love as also including that which we normally associate with human love relationships... a desire for reciprocation, a risk of refusal of our advances, and a hurt when love goes unrequited.

Yet God also models for us consistently, what we often do not exhibit: persistent love even in the face of disappointment, and committed love even in a one-sided relationship. We love best in human relationships when we love like God does... including the parts about taking risk, enduring hurt, and hoping for love in return.

Monday, January 05, 2009

We Meant It!

Peggy Noonan is a favorite columnist of mine. Yeah, I know, she's a former speechwriter for Reagan, but for being a conservative (which, last I checked, was not yet a sin!), she also has a real heart. :)

Anyway, in her latest column, she sums up the year 2008 with this:

For me, the quote of the year was from a Democratic political strategist, a black woman, off air on election night. She walked up to an anchorwoman who is white, and said, "I'm trying to figure out what so moves me and I realize it's this: You meant it." The anchor shook her head. "You all said you would vote for a black man," said the strategist. "You all said you'd judge him on his merits, race wouldn't stop you. I didn't know until tonight that you meant it."

Darn right we meant it! Now... let's see him use those merits for the good of the whole country. For everybody. Not just for his base.

We elected him to be president of the whole country, not some slice of it. I think that the vast majority of us, whether we voted for him or not, want the new president to be successful, do well, make us a better country.

You lead well, Mr. Obama, and we'll follow. We know you have your hands full, we'll cut you some slack. Just... lead well. Please.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Shoveling before sunup

The usual weather pattern around here in winter is that it warms up to 20+ degrees, snows, and then "clear & cold" moves in behind it. The implication for the homeowner with a south-facing driveway is that, in order to take advantage of the sunshine, one must remove the snow as soon as it stops.

Ideally, one has a chance to get it off the drive before it gets all packed down by driving on it. But when it snows later in the day and keeps going into the evening, and you have plans to go see a movie...

and then if it falls on a weekend when your newspaper arrives early in the morning and the delivery person has an annoying tendency to drive in as far as they possibly can...

you wake up with packed snow to scrape off, and get all sweaty and sore and ornery before church. Grrr. Wouldn't you think the snowstorm could show a little consideration, start a little earlier, and be done by, say... 2PM?

On the bright side, it IS one way of getting to see the sunrise. :)

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Time in reverse

Yesterday I went to see a matinee of "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" (which I found out later was a story by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Who knew?) Seemed like a dopey story idea, and I certainly had no idea that it would affect me so. Boo hoo hoo. :)

{Spoiler alert! Story details follow.}

The main idea of the movie is about a guy who is born old and gets younger as time goes along, and the relationship he has with a girl he meets. They were born a few years apart, and met around age 10-12 or so, only she looked like ten and he looked like 80. :)

Still, some chemistry was there, and eventually, as she ages and he gets younger, they meet "in the middle" and are together and happy for a while. Yet they couldn't make it work on either end, when she's old and he's young, or vice versa. It sort of reinforced the popular notion that people in love need to be about the same age, and that an age gap is a significant barrier to a relationship. On one level that was the message.

Yet, the story also made it clear that the connection between them was there at all times and at all ages, that the spark, the love between them lasted through the years. Even if they weren't together the whole time, they were still always connected, and each was the other's most significant relationship in life, though there were others as well, due to the peculiar circumstances. Hm. Anyway, an interesting story, and moving (at least to me.)

Several things struck me while I was watching, and I found myself sitting there in the theater alone with wet cheeks, reacting to ... oh, I don't know ... not so much the story as the images in it, the emotions in it, finding the characters on the screen acting out scenes that were somewhat familiar to me. Not the same thing, not in the same way, not for the same reasons, but.. it felt similar to something I once felt, you know?

Here's an example. Most of the movie takes place in New Orleans, and not in familiar settings to me; but parts of it take place in Manhattan, and in one scene the actors go around a corner and there in the background is...
the Chrysler Building. 

I've seen it in person several times on trips to New York, but every time I see the top of that tower, my heart thrills.

:)

I love that building - it's my favorite in all the world. This facade is masculine and yet so stunningly beautiful.

And so when I saw that scene on the big screen, I remembered the last time I had seen it.. and found the tears running involuntarily.


Two years ago this April, while already working here but before moving here, I was able to take a long weekend and head back to New England. I could just poke around, deciding at the last minute what to do, and seeing again (maybe for the last time) some of the very familiar places I had come to love, but from a different viewpoint this time - not as a local, but as a tourist. :)

Driving from Hartford to Boston to New York City to Hartford again, it was a wonderful trip, and a great time of year to go - everything was beginning to bloom. Jacket weather, mostly.

I kind of felt like I was acting as a tour guide... :P (yes, to myself, but still!) I loved doing things like:

After shopping in the Back Bay, relaxing in the Public Garden



braving the brisk Spring wind on a nearly deserted Cape Cod



strolling the romantic paths meandering through Central Park



lunching at the Waldorf and walking the busy Manhattan Streets.



It's a trip I'll always remember. Always. :)

So when in the movie, the Chrysler Building came into view... from almost the same angle as my photo above... time ran in reverse for me. For a while I remembered it all... and had to grab a napkin. ;)

Friday, January 02, 2009

The New Year's posts

I'm kind of wondering where to take this blog in the new year. By definition it's supposed to be about the stresses brought on by job changes, and the at least parallel (if not intersecting) paths of unease that come with this stage of life we euphemistically call middle-age.

(Didn't this time of life used to be considered old age not too many generations ago? You know, like back when people died of consumption and the gout. I think there's an underlying inflation rate in longevity that is messing with our lives' relative purchasing power in terms of time.  A year isn't worth what it once was.  Darned improvements in medicine! Getting old ain't what it used to be, either. It used to be... getting dead before getting senile. Now it's the other way 'round.)

As I was saying... the raison d'être of the blog, the career thing, is sort of in a holding pattern right now. I do have a new boss, yes, and I suppose that could be a source of stress, but since I work from home and he is some 400 miles away...

Plus, the career change thing is going nowhere fast. Or maybe it's actually going somewhere, but just reaaaaally slooooow.

At the risk of being woefully off-topic in general, then, I think it will be more like an on-line diary here for a while, with random impressions and musings, than a detailing of career-related stresses. And honestly, that's pretty much what it has been for a while.

So, okay, then. Just a quickie for now about how New Year's Eve & Day went, and then maybe later something deeper about life, love, and faith.

We know from past experience that it takes 2 full years in a new community before you start locking in on relationships deeply, especially as couples. For us, it's been ... 19 months.  So as a result, there's no real "friend group" yet to hang out with on NYE.  A year hence, that will probably change.  

Instead, we did a private "movie marathon" and loaded up on pizza.  :)  The movies we saw were "Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day" (Frances McDermott), "The Name Of The Rose" (Sean Connery, Christian Slater, F. Murray Abraham), and "Be Kind, Rewind" (Jack Black, Mos Def), plus filling in the edges with the complete Lord Of The Rings trilogy, and of course ringing the bell at midnight (see prior post.)  Fun!

The rest of the time I spent cleaning up my basement winemaking area, unpacking tool boxes for my workbench in the garage, and rebuilding my iTunes playlists (still not done with that.  Grrr... they didn't tell me that when you change hard drive locations for your iTunes library that you have to reimport all your music, and that all your old links and playlists are useless!)  :(  

So you know, nothing you really want to spend time on, but need to.  Oh yeah, and having a year-end wrap-up session over coffee with friend SQ, taking inventory of our respective gains and losses in 2008 in the life categories of career, finances, interests, family, and relationships.  That I wanted to do.  :)

Today... more progress on my recreational reading stack, maybe an indie movie, picking up my new turntable with the USB port and analog-to-digital conversion software, and then tonight we're off to a dinner party at which I will break open a 20-year old bottle of Rubissow-Sargent Cabernet Sauvignon.  Hope it hasn't turned!  Which is why I have to bring along a dessert wine, too, just in case.  Not to mention the homemade blackberry/pineapple sherbet I whipped up (literally; even licked the beaters...) for the occasion.  :)  Huzzah!  Extended celebrating!


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