Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Focusing my jumbled thoughts

Such a jumble of thoughts today. I can't seem to corral them.

It was helpful to read something challenging while in the waiting room at the repair shop today waiting for news on my car's engine light issue. (Money. Bleh.)

The something challenging was this hermeneutics text. The author this time is discussing the locus of meaning - is it in the author, the reader, or the raw text? She quoted a line about the "reader model" that I liked:

"Readers may control texts, but that does not lead to anarchy, because interpretive communities control readers." --- Robert Fowler

Hm. Interesting notion. It's fairly easy to see how that would work in the church. Not quite as easy in a secular setting. I suppose a book club or discussion group would work similarly. The fringe interpretation gets mocked or repudiated or censured or marginalized. Especially if the group is cranky. ;)

The church sure seems to be that way on interpretive issues; it generally doesn't handle dissent well. Tends to brand people as heretics. Burns them at the stake now and then.

She goes on to use a little metaphor I thought was helpful:

"The search for authorial intention as defined in the nineteenth century might be compared to approaching the text as a window. The text was understood as a means to understanding the world of the author (history) and the mind of the author (personality or psychology). Textual autonomy, however, understands the text to be a picture, a work of art to be studied and appreciated in its own right, rather than for what it can reveal about the situation or intention of the author. Finally, a singular focus on the reader's role has been likened to the text as mirror. In the end, the interpreter does not see a pristine text, but the reader's own reflection in relation to the text."

Hm. I get that analogy. It's good.

But it's wrong. :)

I think instead it's a YouTube video clip. :P

You've seen them. Somebody captures an interaction between two people (usually funny or violent or sad) and puts it on the web for people to see.

I think it's like that. When we look at a text, we observe a "communication event" between the original author and the addressee (original intended reader.) All else is our reaction to what we see in that clip. We may have a visceral reaction or a thoughtful reaction or no reaction.

We may also have something we take away from the viewing. We may learn something. We may be able to apply something to our own situation or life. Or not. That is in our control.

And, in keeping with her notion of "reading communities" above, we may be told by our particular community (or its leader), what our take-aways *ought* to be. Some seminar leaders do that; I hate it. Don't tell me what my takeaways are. Those are YOUR takeaways, not mine, big shot. I'll think for myself, thanks. But sometimes I need to hear it anyway, so that I don't miss something crucial or go off randomly like a loose cannon.

And, speaking of a "communication event" (a term I think I just coined!), I have this notion that I will trot out with the professor Thursday night, and see if it's original and worth writing a paper on, or if I will see it explored later in the class.

To me, the "original communication event" is something that occurred in history, and is bounded in history by the time span that runs from original composition, to the reading of it by the addressee(s). In this original event, meaning is shaped by author and reader through the speech-act model discussed in a prior post. You remember... locution, illocution, perlocution, electrocution... :P

Anything else is a follow-on communication event, in which meaning is necessarily shaped by the new reader, since the new reader is an observer of the original event, and controls the degree and method of their engagement with it.

In Biblical Hermeneutics we must overlay this idea with the uniquely biblical notion of inspiration. If the author was inspired by an infinite, personal God who transcends time and culture, then we have another dynamic at work with a longer horizon and broader scope than the original communication event.

Now, meaning, in the inspired text, written by the inspired author, can echo through time and space to each and every new reader (whose reading may also be inspired in the present), regardless of their cultural and historical context.

And the game is on. :) We'll see what the prof says.

In the meantime, I am the prof tonight. Last class of Math 151 before the final. Buckle up, students! It may be a bumpy ride.

Monday, September 29, 2008

unsettled

.


front is moving through
wind and rain brings clearing air
things feel different now


.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Language, communication, interpretation (upd.)

Class last night was a provocative jumble of linguistics & literary theory, story, worldview and meta-narrative.

It must have been a bit overwhelming for a lot of the students. Of the 25 or so in the class, only about 5 of us had taken any seminary courses before. The rest were all new students.

I think the prof is going to be every bit as enjoyable as people have suggested he will be. But he also seems tough and intense. As usual, I asked questions, talked a bit, but I think I conducted myself decently. I'm guessing the first impression was okay in both directions. :)

But as I read the first few chapters of one of the two main texts earlier in the week, I got hot under the collar about it, and my first question in class was about having to buy into the perspective of the text. The interpretive model that the author (a fellow Bethel prof. and a colleague of his) put forward really rankled me in spots. Fortunately, my prof said we will not be required to agree with the model proposed in that book in order to get a decent grade.

Some of the things she (the author) put forth made good sense. Others didn't. For example, she borrowed from current linguistic theory to help describe what happens in communication. She referred to "speech-act" theory and "relevance" theory. Speech-act theory says that words accomplish something, they don't just have content, they have momentum and weight - they DO things.

There's the locution (what is written), the illocution (what the words accomplish), and a perlocution (what the reader does in response.) The writer intends that the reader have a certain response; this is the perlocutionary intention. But the reader may not react that way at all, they may have an unintended perlocution. The words written are thus "on a mission", but the mission may or may not not result in the desired response. The Epistles of St. Paul are great examples of this.

Relevance theory says that an utterance (a speech act with a context), requires readers to infer some things, and they will select, among several options, that context which is most relevant for understanding. So, an utterance consists of both linguistic expression and assumed context.

Put another way, lingusitic expression + background context assumptions = meaning. Meaning elicits a response. The response may vary, however, with the context assumptions. If the author and reader have different context assumptions, the response (perlocution) may not be what the author intended.

Okay, so far so good. Are you with me?

I didn't think so. I don't get this either.

:)

Well, really, I suppose I do. Because this is why I got upset. I was tracking, up to this point. But the author of this textbook then went on to say that we, as contemporary readers of the Scripture, by understanding the shared background context assumptions of the original author and reader(s), can be brought into the world of the text and participate in the conversation.

Hogwash. I don't buy it. The best we can do is eavesdrop on someone else's conversation. It's like finding someone's diary, or a stack of old love letters. You may be affected by what you read, but not like the original reader and author were!

Here's an example. Let me illustrate with a dramatic scene.

Picture a boy and a girl on a couch, some time in the past. They are intimately in love, and have been so for oh, say... a few years. Let's further say that one of this pair has a degree in lingusitics - an expert in the field of language form and usage. For argument's sake, let's make the girl that expert (...it just fits the story better.)

Now in this particular scene, the boy is saying goodbye to the girl. She has told him, for lots of very sensible reasons, all of which he understands, that it's finally time they stop seeing each other.

She's right, of course (girls are always right, aren't they?), but he is heartbroken nonetheless.

Knowing she's not only right, but she's convinced... and not wanting to be a problem for her, not wanting to stand in the way of her happiness but preferring to end it well... he muscles up his manhood, bites his trembling lip, and does the right thing: he agrees with her, he gracefully lets her go.

But, he wants to be sure that she knows clearly how he feels about her, leaving no doubt that he would stay if she changed her mind someday. So he does one more time what he's done many times before this - he verbally "takes inventory" of her, and tells her how beautiful she is to him, and what he'll miss.

He starts with her hair: how silky soft it is. Then her eyes: how mesmerizing. Her cheek: how velvety smooth. Her lips: how tender and thrilling. Her neck: perfumed and inviting. And (preserving the couple's privacy a little bit here...), he proceeds downward, remembering out loud how marvelous he has found her to be and how lucky he has been to know it first hand...

Somewhere below the neck, she breaks. Though not the crying type, she can't help it this time. The tears flow, and she weeps and weeps at the beauty, the poignancy, and the heartbreak of it - knowing that she may never hear him say those things again, never see (and feel) him enjoying her again, the way no other boy ever has, and knowing how truly he means every word he said.

She cries. The linguistics expert cries her heart out.



(teardrops fall on couch. fade to black, cue music, roll credits.)



So let me ask you... is she thinking about his perlocutionary intention? Is she laying out the background context assumptions they share?

No.

It all just happens. She understands, without thinking. She knows.

Is her tearful response intended by the broken-hearted boy, who's simply trying to reach her heart one last time?

No.

It just happens. He sees her heart through her tears. He knows.



THAT is conversation. THAT is communication.

Not this silly model of picking apart someone ELSE's conversation, so that if we get all the assumptions right we somehow vicariously participate in it. Nonsense.

Ridiculous.

My point is that you can have all the linguistics and literary training in the world, but if you are not actually personally involved in a communication, your view of it can be nothing more than an academic exercise. And if you ARE personally involved in the communication... all academic training and analysis goes out the window - completely.

When you are personally involved, interpretation happens on the fly, in the now. You instinctively bring all your shared context and emotions to bear in the moment, without analysis.

Analyzing something implies emotional *distance* from it, not engagement in it...



Now, suppose there's an epilogue to our little drama on the couch, not in a movie scene now, but in real life:

Suppose that the boy, after this, had taken the further step of writing to the girl everything that he had just told her in person, so that she would have it to hold on to and read again and again...

and if that girl turned out to be your grandmother...

and you found in the attic her bundle of love letters from the boy, sewn into the lining of an old couch...

and from the words in those letters, while you sat on your grandma's old couch, you reconstructed the scene...

and you looked at the date, put two and two together, and realized that when your grandma sat on this very couch and tearfully said goodbye to this boy who loved her so...

that by this time she already was seeing your grandpa, who she then married a while later.

And not only did you discover that there was more to your grandma than you ever knew...

but all of a sudden you also realized that your existence on this earth depended squarely on the conversation that occurred on this couch, and the exchange of love-words and tears that happened right here.

Because if your grandma hadn't held her ground that night, if she had instead melted into the boy's arms and relented, she may not have ever married your grandpa, and your mother (...and you) never would have been born.

And NOW you can participate in the conversation. :) Because your very existence depended on it. You are the result of how that talk went.

THAT makes sense to me. And that's how to interpret Scripture. Not academically, not with analysis... but with emotional engagement. Because who you are today depends on those ancient conversations.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Homing in on a destination...

... for my getaway/retreat weekend. I've been considering abbeys & retreat centers, who specialize in this sort of thing. You know, a simple atmosphere for quiet contemplation and reflection.

And yet, I know that I get pretty stir crazy staring at four walls, and that much relaxation and reflection for me comes from seeing new things, exploring new places, as well as from seeing and remembering what's brought me joy in times past.

Old familiar places filled with memories really do have their place, and there are times when they are so very theraputic and healing for me.

But, this time I think I'll be heading in the opposite direction from memory-laden spots, toward something new, toward places I haven't seen. I'm doing well enough emotionally that I'm not so much in need of healing, as I am in need of evaluation and perspective.

So... where? Not to the big city, not to distracting night life. Picturesque natural wonders and quaint historic communities can trigger contemplation and evaluation pretty well for me.

Maybe... here?

http://www.twincities.com/travel/ci_10500066

Sounds pretty good. Maybe I'll even try a travel hostel for a night or two. :) Now that would be a new experience!

And if that's too primitive, there's always something more comfy.

Wherever I stay, I can see this area being somewhere I'd enjoy, while alone and reflective, as well as someday, maybe, you know...

;)

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Another anniversary of sorts

It just occurred to me that one year ago this week I was here also, finishing up my orientation for this job. I was nervous, anxious, almost ill with fear - but employed again!

Now, a year later. . . it's okay. I'm alright. :) Thanks be to God. His grace continues to flow my way.

Second day down, two more to go. Presentation today also went well. I actually think I'm being helpful here. :)

Monday, September 22, 2008

One day down...

... three to go. :)

And the first day went quite well. Up in front, presenting (always a fun thing for me.)

Result - even better: work product presented, accepted, applauded.

Yay! But no resting on my laurels for long. Post a dinner, dessert and cordial: hermeneutics is calling me.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Any Linguists Out There?

... who are also interested in sharing what they know?

Have tutoring in Math, Statistics or Theology to trade... ;)

See, it's this grad school course for Fall quarter, BT501 - Hermeneutics. Finally I saw the syllabus, and the requirements are making me nervous:

Course Description:

This course examines the whole range of issues that determine and are affected by the interpretation of texts, in this case biblical texts. Some of these issues are epistemological (how do we know things?), linguistics (how does language work?), genres (what types of literature are there? - even within the bible!), manuscripts (what to do when different manuscripts say different things), cultural anthropology and historical background (what difference does such added knowledge make in interpretation?) and application/relevance (how to bridge the gap between the text and us). The course is foundational for all study of the bible and theology. In fact, it's even foundational for interpreting any kind of human communication. Its main objective is to help students become better and more faithful interpreters.



Hoooweee. I may need some help here. I'll start the reading while I'm in KC this week, and find out! :)

Wish I knew a linguistics major. Hm.

Music Reviews: Beirut, Yo La Tengo, Zero 7, Matt Wertz

I've got a few reviews to finish up here before I head to KC in a couple of minutes, when I'll use that drive time to finish up an old stack of music I've been neglecting.  Almost done!  :)

In the meantime, some new discoveries.  (new to me, that is...)

Beirut - "Gulag Orkestar": A special deal on Amazonmp3, and hey! They're good!  A rock band with no guitars.  Oooh.  Well, they're an indie band, maybe not a rock band.  More like Gypsy folk.  Think Decemberists & Sufjan Stevens playing klezmer music and folk songs from Greece and Italy.  It really is cool stuff.  :)  Fascinating to listen to, love all tracks, but especially: Bandenburg, Postcards from Italy, Rheinland, Bratislava, Prenzlauerberg.

Yo La Tengo - "Summer Sun":  Very chill.  Smooth.  I like the switching between lead vocals; sometimes it's the tenor taking the melody, sometimes the baritone.  And despite the name, there's very little latin feel, only here and there (Winter A Go-Go, Moonrock Mambo).  Great background-y music for reading or dinner.  :)  Favorites:  Little Eyes, Season of the Shark, Today is the Day,  Tiny Birds, Don't Have To Be Sad, Take Care.

Zero 7 - "The Garden":  Also chill.  But not quite so background-y.  When the vocals are all in, they have a California sound like America used to, except there is more electronica in the instrumentation.  But when the female vocal is carrying things, they really sound like an altogether different band.  Really nice, though.  Favorites:  Futures, You're My Flame, Left Behind, Today, Fine Social Scene, Your Place, Crosses.

Matt Wertz - "Under Summer Sun": He gave away his last EP, "Where We Started" (which set up this album), on Amazonmp3. What a generous guy! And what a marketing strategy, too, to do that the day before the full CD is released.

I loved the tracks on the EP, so I definitely went out and bought the remaining 7 tracks on the new release which weren't already on the EP. I'm sure lots of people bought the whole album. I think musicians are getting the hang of what retailers (and lovers!) have known for a while. If you give a little... you maybe get a lot in return.

Favorites: I Will Not Take My Love Away, Marianne, Someone Like You, 5:19, Lord Knows How Hard I've Tried, With You Tonight, Keep Faith. This guy is like a fresh & clean, less introspectively-bluesy John Mayer. :) I like him.


Saturday, September 20, 2008

You know, it's bad enough...


... that I spend a perfectly lovely cool, clear Saturday morning actually running 5K. What is my problem, anyway? I've gone off the edge in my old age. I mean... running! Me. Yikes!




But then I have to suffer the humiliation of being passed by some guy pushing two kids (one just one - two!), in a stroller. Arghhh. At least it wasn't some costumed character, like the time in Milwaukee during Al's Run when all the racing sausages from Miller Park (then County Stadium) came roaring by me, to great applause and laughter. Hey! I'm dying here!

Well, okay, so maybe I'm dramatizing a little. ;) That's not typical for me, is it?

Shut up.



It was a great morning for a run, really. I have no idea how well (or poorly) I did, though - the guy at the finish didn't yell out my time, and then I took too long to go back and ask, a lot of runners were coming in, it was too busy, etc.



But D was there (a gallery of one! oooh..) and said that the people ahead of me came in around 28:30, and they were about 10 seconds ahead of me, so... I'll guess 28'50" for now and wait for the official results. Under 29 is good! :) (especially for running outside - and with hills. I hate hills. Even if they're small.)

So many times in that last mile I wanted to stop running and walk a bit. But grrr... no! Count 50 more strides. No, not yet. 50 more. 50 more. There's the last turn... push.



Ugh. This shouldn't feel so brutal. But now as I type I feel great. :)
So there you go. Stop whining. ;)

Quite a big turnout, well over 100. Lots of different people running.



One old guy in the group wore a sweatband. The old fart. Ha - refugee from the 70's, I guess, back when athletes as diverse as Bjorn Borg, Billie Jean King, and Dr. J all wore them.

Hahahaha. Hey. Wait now.



Um, never mind. Forget I said that.

Anyway, it was for a good cause. This outfit has been serving the homeless in the community for 106 years. (!) They serve 3-400 a night, every night, with food and beds and counseling.



Tired... but a good tired. Glad to help. Proud to wear the t-shirt. :)

Friday, September 19, 2008

Sitting... and eating... and running...

Another Thursday night, another concert.  Yawnn.... 

:)

No, not really.  It wasn't routine - it was great!

I really like the Thursday night gigs at First Ave., because they start early and end early.  For an old guy like me... that works.  :P


And I got there right as the doors were opening, but the line was short, and I got my pick of the dozen or so barstools they have scattered around in the upstairs bar area (which is behind glass, and about the only place you could manage to have a conversation while the music is playing. That's mostly what people do up there... talk.)  



So there was plenty of room for spreading out. Got my beer, my pizza,



and my book. All I need now is the band! ;)



The warm up band was uneventful, so I kept right on reading.



The guy to my right was curious (and not all that attentive to his date), so we chatted about the book. Interesting crowd in general. I never know what to expect, and am often surprised.

This time there was a fairly large contingent from Butchdom there.  (which the guy beside me also brought to my attention.) I don't just mean Alpha females who lead their men around like dogs on heel, though there were plenty of those around, too, as I think about it (with dogs in tow.)

I mean the women who trumpet their alternative sexual preference via their public presentation of self, and public behavior with date.  Of course, some hetero women trumpet theirs, too, yes, but... not quite like this.  I wonder what it was about this band that shifted the demographic in this direction.  Hm.

A corollary to this may be that the men's bathroom was pretty empty all night, but there was quite a line at the women's.  Well... there's *always* a line there.




So, anyway, when Neko Case (the headliner) came up, I put down the book and paid attention.  Couldn't help it.  Her voice is unmistakeable.  When she started singing "Big Red Bells", I thought... oh!  Yeah.  That's why I came tonight.  :)



She sounds like a french horn.  Rich, full, clear.  And that sounds great on a woman, I think.  It's a compliment.  Like describing a man's singing voice as a cello or a trombone.   It's a good thing.  I had been looking forward to this concert for months, and she didn't disappoint.



Then last night, more sitting and eating.  This time with friends from seminary/church.  Youngish friends (transitioning into the Summer of their lives).  We wanted to pick their brains over a meal (chicken parmesan, with some extra sauce I still had on hand from the eggplant lasagna I made for the college kids.)

D and I have been kicking around an idea of doing a small group next Summer for "newly marrieds" to see if we can communicate anything that we might have learned over the last few stressful years about staying together and working things out.  Not that we've mastered it, but we have certainly dealt with things that have brought strain... and are hanging in there, coming through it, moving forward together.

So, we wanted to know what they think might be good topics for discussion for people like themselves, each married under two years, and roughly in their late 20's.  What format might work best, etc?  They were helpful.  :)  We'll see what next Summer may bring.

But it was another night of more sitting and eating.  So... I'll be topping off the sedentariness of the last two days tomorrow morning with my second "public" 5K run.  This time right in the neighborhood, and a fundraiser to help the homeless locally.  Hope it goes well.  :)


Thursday, September 18, 2008

Transition Months

So I was supposed to have lunch Tuesday with the pastor from my "Sunday" church (the evangelical one), and got stood up.  :(  And not for the first time... that's twice now!  

I'm getting a complex.  I mean, when your pastor blows off your lunch date - you're really on the outs with God, man. You got troubles big time.  Like that Moby song "Natural Blues."

:)

But it was a beautiful day - one of those gorgeous mid-September days with a cloudless sky in a rich blue hue, the sun warming things into the 70s, gentle breeze on your face... marvelous.  You can get those same days in mid-June, too.  I remember one in particular that produced a blog entry... about happiness, I think.  

So I enjoyed the walk to the restaurant by way of the library, and took the time I spent waiting at Breuggers' Bagels to kick around in my mind the symmetry between mid-September days and mid-June days.

And here's what I came up with.  Here's my theory about it.  There is a symmetry to the year if you look at it right.  I think that our seasons are each two months long, with transition months in between.


Take Summer (...please!), as an example.  Summer proper is really July & August.  Really.  That's Summer as we know it.  Hot, dry, long days, everything growing.  Daytime temps around 80-85.

September is a transition month.  Some Summer days, some Fall days.  Fruit ripening.  An in-betweener month that lets us all adjust.  

October and November is your classic Autumn.  Cool days, some rain, a frost or two.  Bugs leave.  Things finish up growing and stop, plus change in color and texture.  Daytime temps around 50.

December is a transition month.  Getting chilly now, get that showthrower out and ready, get the leaves off the lawn, gardens tidy.  It can snow anytime.

January and February - this is the heart of Winter.  Long nights & short days.  Dark, scudding, low and loaded grey clouds or bright, white, frigid, blinding snowshine.  Daytime temps around 15-20 degrees.

March is a transition month.  You are sick of Winter by this time and March gives you hope, cuts you some slack.  Things melt, but freeze again.

April and May is Spring.  Not yet warm, but thawing nicely.  Buds come up, birds show up, snow disappears.  You can till the soil and fertilize.  Tune up that lawnmower.  Daytime temps are around 50, just like Fall.

June is a transition month.  You dig out the golf clubs, the tennis racket, buy some new sandals, get that summer pedicure.  Leaves are greening up!

See what I mean?  Pairs of months, with transitions.  


And if you split the pairs, you get the best of each season.  August 1 is the height of Summer, February 1 is the depth of Winter.  November 1 and May 1 are quintessential Fall and Spring, respectively.  Yes?

Now that we've established the seasonal patterns, here comes my usual comparison to the seasons of life.  ;)  You knew this was coming, didn't you?



Let's take a full human lifetime and compress it into one year.  How does it fit with the seasons?  

Well, first, we have to pick a length of life.  I like 84.  It divides nicely into 12 cycles of 7 years each.  Seven and twelve are very biblical numbers of fullness and completeness.  

Plus, when you think of someone living a full life, you think "into their eighties."  And it's what the Scriptures teach, besides.  Look up Psalm 90:10 and you'll see what I mean.

So, figuring that life ends in the cold dark of Winter, and new life begins in Spring... we'll peg birth at March 1 and death at Feb 28.  With that as our structure, here's how the cycles work out:


Birth - 7:  March - transition.  By age 7 you know how to feed, wash and clothe yourself, read and write, have a conversation, be polite.  You're ready to learn.

7 - 21:     April & May - Spring!  The Learning Years.  You figure out life and develop some idea of how you want to live it.  By the end, you're ready to launch (hopefully.)

21 - 28:   June - transition.  You are moving from (relatively) carefree youth to fully functional adulthood.  You are leaving kid stuff behind.  Let's get serious here!  :)

28 - 42:   July & August - Summer!  The Building Years.  You produce stuff (like children & money), you work hard and play hard.  You have energy and you use it.

42 - 49:   September - transition.  You take stock of what you've learned from Summer and figure out how you want to spend the second half of life.  Yikes!  Crisis time!

49 - 63:   October & November - Autumn!  The Consolidating Years.  You don't work or play as hard - you do the "right" work, and play "smart."  Empty that nest!  Bring in the harvest!

63 - 70:   December - transition.  You move from working full time to something sustainable for the coming Winter.  You check your pantry (asset portfolio, 401K, pension) for supplies.  :)

70 - 84:   January & February - Winter!  The Legacy Years.  You've finally figured out what life is all about, and share that wisdom with those starting out (if they choose to listen to you...)  And, get ready for another transition, to Spring again, only... on the other side.


Makes sense to me.  :)

And it puts me squarely in mid-October.  Nice.  I love that time of year.  :)  It's beautiful.


What month are you in?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Shadows

Saw this quote earlier today.  I happened to be reading it out loud at the time, and could barely finish, my voice caught, eyes filled...  

Why, do you suppose?  ;)



"You have been such light to me
that other women have been your shadows."

----- Wendell Berry

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Choices

if i can't do
what i want to do
then my job is to not do
what i don't want to do

it's not the same thing
but it's the best
i can do


if i can't have what i want
then my job is to want
what i've got
and be satisfied

that at least there
is something more
to want


since i can't go
where i want to go
then i must go
where the signs point

though always understanding
lateral movement
isn't parallel


when i can't express
what i really feel
i practice feeling
what i can express

and none of it
is equal
i know


but that's why mankind
alone among the mammals
learns to cry



-from the Collected Poetry of Nikki Giovanni 1968-1998



(thanks, J1)

Sunday, September 14, 2008

They Might Be... Flooded!

J2 came home for the weekend, short notice. It's always nice, just... too late to change plans much, you know? So, he sat home Friday night while D & I went to a neighborhood potluck for a couple of new (mostly youngish) families that have moved in recently.

Nice thing, this. Got to meet lots of people, and get a sense for the neighborhood demographic - which is nicely mixed. Young families with preschoolers, some in the middle with teens, empty-nesters like us, and retirees. A good blend of families, along with some families that don't fit the traditional definition. This is a good place.

Then later, while J2 & D got caught up on things, I headed out for a concert. They Might Be Giants was doing a show at First Avenue, and it proved to be about as peculiar as I expected.




























The opener (Moon Maan) was ... tedious. A drum and guitar trio, they could produce a big sound, but as to content - unremarkable.











Yawnnn. I brought a book.

















Plus I used the time to walk a few blocks north and pick up some nice (...I hope...) table seating tickets at the Fine Line for D and me to see Calexico in November. Should be great. :)



And while out on the street, I saw something I haven't seen before. Some guy had a video game (some version of Guitar Hero, I think) on a big flat screen monitor - in his trunk! People were playing virtual instruments on the street. Okaaaay.




Back to the TMBG show. Their music is hard to describe. Catchy, yes. But odd. At one point, each of the instruments took turns playing random licks, disconnected from one another in terms of style, tempo, rhythm. Then they did the same thing in pairs or trios, but simultaneously. The whole thing took on a feel of a cocktail party, where you have bits of conversations going on all over in sort of a jumble, but... it was all with instruments. Weird.



They seemed to attract a post-college quasi-intellectual crowd. Mostly around 30, give or take a few years. And they sure seemed to know the songs, sang along at all the right parts.

They talked a lot from the stage, too. And they were pretty clever, kind of a running droll commentary on a variety of topics.

Plus, the audience booed them. Booed! Except that it was an inside joke, and the band expected it, took it as applause.

They'd yell:

"Do you all feel lousy tonight?",

and the response would be:

Boooo!

"All right! Wanna hear some music?"

No!

"All right!"

Funny. :)



Really, I would have liked them to do more of the soundtrack work they've done, like "A Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow" from "Meet The Robinsons", or their children's songs, which are so funny and original.

At least the seating was good. I actually found a stool to sit on in the VIP lounge. Nice view of the stage even though the sound was sort of muffled. The merch table was overpriced, though. Too bad.



So, after the show, sleep quick, and a busy day Saturday. Worship team rehearsal, coffee with SQ, Mass, cooking, college kids over for dinner, and then...

J2 heads back after dinner. Huh? You just got here..

Apparently his dorm building was getting flooded as the nearby river was rising, and his roommates called to tell him. So he headed back to help with potential evacuation! Yikes!

Gee, nice to see you for like two minutes. :( Well, okay, a few hours.

And today, singing and reading from the platform, working out in the office, watching a little football, and... my favorite (not!)... grading papers for my Math class on Tuesday. That'll be the fourth of 6 lectures, though. It is going fast.

Which is good, since I have the Neko Case concert on Thursday, a trip to KC next Sunday, and when I get back... grad school starts again: BT501 - Hermeneutics.

Bring it on, baby - I'm ready.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Where to go? What to do?

Over the years I've taken a long weekend away by myself, to... change pace, disconnect, reflect, remember, whatever.

The last couple of years I've done it around the last full weekend in October, like the 26th/27th or so. I like that time of year, and it's met a real need for me, the last couple of years particularly.

It's also just before my birthday, so it has been a good time to reflect on the passing of time - where my life has been and where it's going.

There has been so much tumult and change, so much to rattle me... and these weekends helped me clarify things, get a grip on hope again, find things that I could look forward to.

This year, though... it seems different. I'm planning for it now - that long weekend at the end of October - but it's just not the same.

It's not like there's fresh trauma in my life; a lot of that has passed. What hope there is now... is of a different kind than before. It's in things far off, not in something that seemed only a long reach away.

This is a slow transition time for me now, moving from one stage of life to another, and not a lot to mark that passage, except slowly maturing grapevines (and more wrinkles.) ;)

In times of trauma, I gravitate toward Idealism, to find hope. Idealism and I are buds. :) Realism and I sometimes get along, like when life is calm, and especially when we are looking at what happened in the past, or when we are both living in the moment. Then we tend to agree - this was really good, that was hard, could have done better there, this is working out, etc.

But when the topic is the future, and I'm concerned about it, we don't often see eye-to-eye. I want to convince Realism to come along with Idealism and me, to see how good it can be when we're all together. :)

Realism, however... has other plans. Her *own* plans.  :)  So resolute, so impervious, so practical...

(and yes, in my thinking, realism is female & idealism is male, mostly. Argue with me if you wish, but... you know it's true.)



So.. this year.. what to do? Where to go?

Do I head for where my memories live?
Or where there are things unknown and new?

To a place where I can turn inward in silence?
Or somewhere busy that doesn't allow me much time to think?



Advice welcome. I may not publish it... but at least I'll read it.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

A big yellow mess

... was the kitchen today.

but it smelled really good!

Finally the yellow peppers came in at the Farmers' Market. They are so late this year. It was such a cool Spring.

So I chopped up a half-dozen and tossed them in the freezer with the red and purple ones I had already cut up. Colorful! I love them scrambled in my eggs in the morning, or tossed into nearly every sort of casserole or stirfry.



Then, thanks to K's attempt at making homemade limoncello for the last Three Track party, I thought I'd give it a whirl myself. So, searching the internet (as per usual), I found a likely recipe or three, assembled the ingredients, and commenced.



I love this microplane zester that J1 sent for Father's Day. I had used one in a cooking class and thought it was slick. Now I grate my own nutmeg - and it is soooo much better fresh!

Same with the lemons. The smell of the zest is delightful! And I managed to not zest my knuckles. :) (nor sample the product prematurely, which helped considerably with the knuckle safety part.)



And into the jug it goes, with the alcohol, to steep for about 80 days. Then add some sugar syrup to taste, and bottle. I have a feeling it won't save me any money to make it at home, but... maybe it will taste way better!

So.. I wait. Till Christmas!?! Oh, maybe it'll be ready by Thanksgiving. :)



Then, of course, I have left myself 18 naked lemons to deal with. They look so vulnerable in the sink. :( Awww... don't be scared.
I'll be gentle. (Yeah, right. I work out, you know...)



What do you do when life gives you lemons?

You make lemon sorbet! :D

Found another great recipe for that, using some of the zest to make the sugar syrup. It even calls for a little of the alcohol to keep it slightly soft. Cool.

Yielding to my firm pressure, 18 lemons gave up enough juice for a quart of sorbet, plus a couple of dishes full to sample at dinner. Garnish with sprigs of mint from the garden, and mmmm... lemony!

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Faithful Citizenship

Disclaimer: dense, non-fluffy material ahead. This will take you a while to read and think through. And it may take you more than one reading, at that.  Feel free to skip if your mind's already made up about the Fall elections.  :)



Last year, the US Catholic Bishops Came out with a document, “Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship: A Call to Political Responsibility from the Catholic Bishops of the United States.” It went right over my head last year (at that point there were a lot of other things I was trying to figure out...), but it's been getting a lot more press in this election year, and so I've seen it again.

Catholic Social Teaching in general is being put forth as a guide to wading through the muck and mud of the political campaigns to help people make a morally sound choice in the Fall elections.

And, you know... the more I read of it, the more I am becoming convinced that the Catholics have figured out that elusive balance between "left" and "right", between liberal and conservative, between public and private morality, between social and individual responsibility. I think they get it, in a way that political parties and ideologies don't.

At least the church does, in its teaching. The people in it, though? Well...

Like all of us, they come by their convictions in many ways. Some are generationally handed down, some come from religious education, some are formed by the influence of peers and social pressure, some are formed by hard-earned lessons of our own experience.

As an example, if you've ever held a special needs child in your arms (like Sarah Palin's)... well, it simply reshapes whatever opinion your parents may have passed to you, or your friends told you that you should have, about the quality of that child's life. It just does.

It's the same with having a loved one who is serving in the military, or who is contracting a debilitating physical or mental illness, or who is "coming out" with beliefs or lifestyles that are antithetical to yours. It stops being theory at that point, and the relationship shapes your views on the subject.

Still, our experience is not God, even though we may act like it. And "our truth" is not necessarily society's truth, and society is *not* without common truth.

In fact, society *needs* common truths to guide its collective behavior (even anarchists have to agree on what is true, in order to act in concert, as we saw last week at the RNC.) Society also needs some measure of compassion and tolerance for those who are not "mainstream" in their life situation or their thinking, who hold to different truths in some areas.

It's a complicated business, voting. For in the voting booth, we are voting to shape our society, and define what should be its truths. We are voting to bring our society in line with our values, and with our view of what truths are common (or should be) for us all as a nation, from crime & punishment to caring for the unfortunate to economic fairness to education to private ethical and moral behaviors.

Yeah, all that.

So, how do I view the levers I will have to choose among in November? How do I assess which candidate or party will shape society toward what I think should be its commonly held truths?



Most of the rest of this post is taken from the current edition of The Catholic Spirit, a weekly newspaper sent to all parishioners in the Archdiocese here. If you visit the website, you'll see that I'm quoting extensively, although excerpting significantly as well.

Hey, it's my blog, I can highlight what I wish. ;) At least I'm crediting the source! That's more than Joe Biden did. :P



First, from an article by Stephen J. Heaney, from the University of St. Thomas, in which he introduces a serialized excerpt from the Bishops' Statement, this one about making choices.

Someone once told me that my thinking was too black and white. She thought more in gray. I said black-and-white thinking would be wrong if the topic is gray — but not if the topic is black and white.

In the [prior] segment of “Faithful Citizenship,” the bishops wrote of prudence. Prudence allows us to tell when the moral question is black and white, or gray. If it is gray, then there are several reasonable answers to the question; prudence then judges what seems to be the best course of action. But if the question is black and white, then so is the answer, and it is not prudent to act otherwise.

In today’s segment, the bishops emphatically argue that there are some clear black-and-white issues about which no people of good will can disagree. When a legal system permits an action which is intrinsically evil, we must always and everywhere oppose that action and that law.

(...)

Certainly we must both oppose intrinsic evil and promote good, but there is no moral equivalence between them. There may be many paths to the same good and people of good will may reasonably disagree about how to reach that good. There is, however, only one way to fight intrinsic evils: oppose them by all moral means. We may not compromise with the evil, hoping to accomplish some other goods.



And now from the statement itself:


Aided by the virtue of prudence in the exercise of well-formed consciences, Catholics are called to make practical judgments regarding good and evil choices in the political arena.

There are some things we must never do, as individuals or as a society, because they are always incompatible with love of God and neighbor. Such actions are so deeply flawed that they are always opposed to the authentic good of persons. These are called “intrinsically evil” actions. They must always be rejected and opposed and must never be supported or condoned. A prime example is the intentional taking of innocent human life, as in abortion and euthanasia. In our nation, “abortion and euthanasia have become preeminent threats to human dignity because they directly attack life itself, the most fundamental human good and the condition for all others” (“Living the Gospel of Life,” No. 5). It is a mistake with grave moral consequences to treat the destruction of innocent human life merely as a matter of individual choice. A legal system that violates the basic right to life on the grounds of choice is fundamentally flawed.

Similarly, direct threats to the sanctity and dignity of human life, such as human cloning and destructive research on human embryos, are also intrinsically evil. These must always be opposed. Other direct assaults on innocent human life and violations of human dignity, such as genocide, torture, racism and the targeting of noncombatants in acts of terror or war, can never be justified.

Opposition to intrinsically evil acts that undercut the dignity of the human person should also open our eyes to the good we must do, that is, to our positive duty to contribute to the common good and to act in solidarity with those in need. As Pope John Paul II said, “The fact that only the negative commandments oblige always and under all circumstances does not mean that in the moral life prohibitions are more important than the obligation to do good indicated by the positive commandment” (“Veritatis Splendor,” No. 52). Both opposing evil and doing good are essential obligations.

The right to life implies and is linked to other human rights — to the basic goods that every human person needs to live and thrive. All the life issues are connected, for erosion of respect for the life of any individual or group in society necessarily diminishes respect for all life. The moral imperative to respond to the needs of our neighbors — basic needs such as food, shelter, health care, education and meaningful work — is universally binding on our consciences and may be legitimately fulfilled by a variety of means. Catholics must seek the best ways to respond to these needs. As Blessed Pope John XXIII taught, “[each of us] has the right to life, to bodily integrity and to the means which are suitable for the proper development of life; these are primarily food, clothing, shelter, rest, medical care and, finally, the necessary social services” (“Pacem in Terris,” No. 11).

(...)

These are not optional concerns that can be dismissed. Catholics are urged to seriously consider church teaching on these issues. Although choices about how best to respond to these and other compelling threats to human life and dignity are matters for principled debate and decision, this does not make them optional concerns or permit Catholics to dismiss or ignore church teaching on these important issues.

Clearly not every Catholic can be actively involved on each of these concerns, but we need to support one another as our community of faith defends human life and dignity wherever it is threatened. We are one family of faith fulfilling the mission of Jesus Christ.

The Vatican Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith made a similar point: It must be noted also that a well-formed Christian conscience does not permit one to vote for a political program or an individual law which contradicts the fundamental contents of faith and morals. The Christian faith is an integral unity, and thus it is incoherent to isolate some particular element to the detriment of the whole of Catholic doctrine. A political commitment to a single isolated aspect of the church’s social doctrine does not exhaust one’s responsibility toward the common good (“Doctrinal Note on Some Questions Regarding the Participation of Catholics in Political Life,” No. 4)




Second, here are some points drawn from Archbishop Charles Chaput of Denver in his new book, “Render Unto Caesar: Serving the Nation by Living Our Catholic Beliefs in Political Life.”

It was described by reviewer George Weigel as "essential reading for serious Catholics in an election year fraught with consequence for core Catholic issues in 21st century America."

I quote from his review:

Here’s the argument, concentrated into nine key points (note - I concentrate even further.)

1 Schizophrenic Catholicism is neither Catholic, nor responsible, nor patriotic. “We have obligations as believers,” the archbishop writes. “We have duties as citizens. We need to honor both, or we honor neither.”

2 Postmodern secularist skepticism about the truth of anything is soul-withering; in C.S. Lewis’s phrase, it makes “men without chests.” The current social, political and demographic malaise of aggressively secularist Europe is an object lesson, and a warning, for America: “A public life that excludes God does not enrich the human spirit. It kills it.”

(...)

The most powerful “political” statement Catholics and other Christians make is to acknowledge the sovereignty of Christ as the first sovereignty in our lives.

This confession of faith in fact helps make democracy possible, by erecting a barrier against the modern state’s tendency to fill every nook and cranny of social space.

5 America was founded on the convictions that there are moral truths that we can know by reason, and that the state has no business doing theology.

The result was the vibrant, religiously informed public moral culture that amazed Alexis de Toqcueville in the 19th century. That distinctive American experience later shaped Vatican II’s teaching on religious freedom and the limited, constitutional state.

6 Work for social progress, however noble, is no substitute for ongoing personal conversion to Jesus Christ. True conversion will almost inevitably extract costs in politics.

Catholic politicians who seek to avoid these dilemmas by hiding in the underbrush of a public square stripped of religious and moral reference points should reflect on the lives of Thomas More and Martin Luther King.

7 There is a bottom line in all this: the life issues are “foundational . . . because the act of dehumanizing and killing the unborn child attacks human dignity in a uniquely grave way.”

8 Responsible citizenship means making choices, not simply voting the way our grandparents did. Citizenship is an exercise in moral judgment, not in tribal loyalty.

9 Nothing in politics is perfect, including candidates. Yet unless we fight for the truth, “we become what the Word of God has such disgust for: salt that has lost its flavor.”

Good stuff. Buy one yourself; buy another for a friend.




Hm. I think I just gave my friends the short version, even if it doesn't look like it. :) Lots to think about...

Happy voting!

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Music Reviews: The Weepies, Depeche Mode, The Hold Steady

The Weepies - "Say I Am You", "Happiness": Having reviewed their most recent CD (Hideaway) elsewhere, this review goes back two albums to their beginnings. Gosh, what a great sound.

Their voices are each fine, but when blended, it's almost like a third emerges. And they're not overly serious about themselves or their craft, but they're really good at doing unabashedly sentimental and likeable tunes in a style that has underpinnings of happiness regardless of the topic at hand. They are a real favorite.

I recommend (in addition to Just Blue, All This Beauty, Wish I Could Forget from "Hideaway"), from "Happiness" (their debut): Somebody Loved, Simple Life, All That I Want (the song from the JCPenney commercial last Christmas). From "Say I Am You": Gotta Have You, Take It From Me, Painting By Chagall, Nobody Knows Me At All, Living In Twilight.



Depeche Mode - "The Singles 86-98": I'm finally relenting and listening to this group because my daughter says I should. :) And has said so for years now. Okay, okay.  

Well, my first thought is... they sound soooo '80's.  ;)  Which, of course, they were.  But back then, I'm sure they were pretty darn progressive.  I have a feeling that Moby followed their lead to a great extent (not to mention remixing some of their tunes.)  On the whole, not my favorite band, but not bad.  Guess I'd rather listen to Moby.  :)

Lots of electro-pop synthesized sound, with vocals that have so much echo they sound like they were recorded underneath a bridge in a culvert.  Kind of David Bowie-ish on the vocal, I think, and a bit repetitious style-wise.

I can see how they might have succeeded in the British club scene at first and then broadened out to a larger audience, including across the Atlantic.  Not bad, really.  I kind of liked Enjoy The Silence, as well as Policy of Truth, Home, A Question of Lust, A Question of Time, World In My Eyes, Walking In My Shoes, It's No Good.



The Hold Steady - "Stay Positive": Okay, this one isn't a career-overview. It's one CD. But it was cheap on Amazon, and I wanted to try it, and see if these local boys are any good.  Um... no.

Well...  that's harsh.  I guess they are good players.  They can rock.  The backing band is strong, and could go head-head with Coldplay.  But the lead vocal is weak, and the songs belie the album title.  They are *not* positive.  I had thought I might go see them when they hit town on 11/15, but - nope.  I'll pass.  

Is Keane touring?  THEM I'd like to see.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Ugh

Laid up in bed
With an aching head
And an awful, stuffy nose.

Don't know whence it came
But this bug's a pain;
Can't wait until it goes!

:(

Friday, September 05, 2008

Kohlrabi and ragweed?

Funny looking little critters, these Kohlrabi.




(Kohlrabi is a noun both singular and plural, right?  Like deer?)

The name is really one of those compound German words, combining kohl (cabbage) and rube (for turnip).  So, they think it's a cabbage-y turnip-ish sort of thing.  

I suppose.  Never had a turnip. Not sure I care to.

The Farmers' Market here has been showing kohlrabi for weeks now, and I kept wondering what they were good for.  Finally I couldn't stand it anymore, so some came home.  :)

As usual, the internet was a wonderful source of practical wisdom, and it taught me how to prep it, as well as what to make with it. So last night, I gave it a whirl.

I settled on kohlrabi/ham bake, sort of like scalloped potatoes and ham, but with a low-carb, more flavorful veggie swapping for the potato.  Not bad.  I did make a note to add onion next time.

And all the while today I'm sneezing, eyes watering, throat scratching, etc.  Ick.  No other symptoms, though.  Ashley the stylist (today I was in for a neck trim) says it's ragweed.  I've never been allergic, I say.  You know you can develop allergies as you age, she says. 

Hm!  Nice of her to think of that possibility for me...  thanks so much.

But as I type this post, I am getting more and more of a headful, feeling fatigued, and things are starting to hurt.  I think I'm just getting sick.  :(  Bleh.

I think I'd rather deal with a passing case of rhinovirus than a permanent case of age-related allergies.  (shudder...)

How about we change the subject back to cooking?   What wine goes with kohlrabi?  Hmm.... I'm thinking gewurztraminer.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

The north shore (updated)



Oooh.  Way more pristine and unspoiled than Door County.  Very nice.



Finally got my affairs in order for the beginning of the month, and can now attend to the pictorial record of Labor Day weekend.  :)

For only being gone a day and a half, we sure saw a lot!  

Waterfalls...


























Lighthouses...

























Quirky local businesses...





Just drove up Sunday afternoon, came back Monday night.  Stayed with a couple from EnCompass who annually rent a condo on the North Shore.  This was a new place for them, and pretty typical, I guess.  Right on the water, though the view from the house was a little obscured by trees.  





Even so, you could sure hear the surf hitting shore.  I love that sound - so rhythmic and "white".  Yawnnnn... relaxes you right away.  :)



It really is remote up there. The night was clear Sunday night, and the stars were gorgeous. I love it when you can see the Milky Way. I had been envious of my niece, E, for her trip to the Sierras, for the stars she would be seeing, but... now I know that there are places within driving distance where I *can* see them!



Took a hike right after we got there, and from the heights (where the Superior Hiking Trail snakes along into Canada), you can't even see the road going along the lake, nor any buildings of any kind.



Just like in the Sierras, there are creeks where water runs off. More gurgle and splash!



And all streams lead to the lake, of course.



So, having had a taste of remoteness, Monday we decided to see what civilization held for us. It was pretty colorful. One particular restaurant was especially so:




Although it didn't look like much from the outside - just a hunting lodge circa 1929.



On the way back, we stopped at the lighthouse that was built after the shipwrecks of 1905. It was pretty neat-o, really.




You could go up in the tower, too, and see the lens and the 22-mile view. Nice.





Finally, a stop for a malted in Duluth.



They have a pretty picturesque view from the bluff there, too...



And there was their version of the various riverwalks found in Milwaukee, Chicago, Twin Cities, San Antonio, etc.



Except there it's a "lake walk". Whatever you call it, there was more to Duluth than I thought.



So, a nice little getaway to some nearby scenery. It was a good way to spend a bit of the long weekend. :)
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