In contrast to the previous post, here's the real thing. :)
The Wikipedia entry on Robert Burns' poem is particularly good, because it shows, side by side (or "right dere side by each" as dey say in M'waukee, hey?), Burns' original verse, along with the pronunciation as it would sound if a Scot were reading it aloud. Plus, it has the IPA pronunciation guide (for all of you linguistics majors out there who know about such things), and then a translation into modern English (um, what are braes and gowans again?) Except I'll have to edit the Wiki entry. I think they're missing it when they try to find an idiomatic translation of "auld lang syne" itself. We'll see if they take mine. ;)
And.. if you want to hear it read by someone who really knows how.. check out on iTunes a recording of it by Tom Fleming from his album "The Robert Burns Collection: The Words." It's worth a buck to hear it read properly. :)
So .. lift one for me tonight! As I will for you.. for old time's sake.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne ?
CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely ye’ll be your pint-stoup!
And surely I’ll be mine !
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We twa hae run about the braes,
and pou’d the gowans fine ;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit,
sin’ auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We twa hae paidl’d in the burn,
frae morning sun till dine ;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
sin’ auld lang syne.
CHORUS
And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere !
And gies a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll tak a right gude-willie-waught,
for auld lang syne.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Same Old Lang Syne
Back in 1979, Dan Fogelberg put out a song by this title that I just loved, and that used to make me want to cry a little every time I heard it. Yeah, yeah, it's sentimental, melancholy, wistful, sad and sweet.. suits me, huh? ;)
I'll play it a few times tonight. It still brings a lump to the throat - maybe moreso now.
Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling Christmas Eve
I stole behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve
She didn't recognize the face at first
But then her eyes flew open wide
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse
And we laughed until we cried.
We took her groceries to the checkout stand
The food was totalled up and bagged
We stood there lost in our embarrassment
As the conversation dragged.
We went to have ourselves a drink or two
But couldn't find an open bar
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store
And we drank it in her car.
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how.
She said she'd married her an architect
Who kept her warm and safe and dry
She would have liked to say she loved the man
But she didn't like to lie.
I said the years had been a friend to her
And that her eyes were still as blue
But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I
Saw doubt or gratitude.
She said she saw me in the record stores
And that I must be doing well
I said the audience was heavenly
But the traveling was hell.
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how.
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to time
Reliving in our eloquence
Another auld lang syne...
The beer was empty and our tongues were tired
And running out of things to say
She gave a kiss to me as I got out
And I watched her drive away.
Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned into rain --
(instrumental:)
(should old acquaintance be forgot?
or never brought to mind?
should old acquaintance be forgot?
or days of auld lang syne?
for auld lang syne, my dear!
for auld lang syne..
we'll raise a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne)
I'll play it a few times tonight. It still brings a lump to the throat - maybe moreso now.
Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling Christmas Eve
I stole behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve
She didn't recognize the face at first
But then her eyes flew open wide
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse
And we laughed until we cried.
We took her groceries to the checkout stand
The food was totalled up and bagged
We stood there lost in our embarrassment
As the conversation dragged.
We went to have ourselves a drink or two
But couldn't find an open bar
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store
And we drank it in her car.
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how.
She said she'd married her an architect
Who kept her warm and safe and dry
She would have liked to say she loved the man
But she didn't like to lie.
I said the years had been a friend to her
And that her eyes were still as blue
But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I
Saw doubt or gratitude.
She said she saw me in the record stores
And that I must be doing well
I said the audience was heavenly
But the traveling was hell.
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how.
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to time
Reliving in our eloquence
Another auld lang syne...
The beer was empty and our tongues were tired
And running out of things to say
She gave a kiss to me as I got out
And I watched her drive away.
Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned into rain --
(instrumental:)
(should old acquaintance be forgot?
or never brought to mind?
should old acquaintance be forgot?
or days of auld lang syne?
for auld lang syne, my dear!
for auld lang syne..
we'll raise a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne)
Sunday, December 30, 2007
One of the benefits of being numb
..is that nothing hurts. But then, nothing feels good either. Nothing feels at all.
Everyone who prefers not hurting chooses their preferred anesthetic..
and some days.. I do, too. Other days I gut it out. Hopefully, as time goes on, there are more of the latter than the former.
As Dr. S-W says, each day I can make it through the pain, I emerge the next day a little bit stronger, and the pain lessens a little bit, too.
Lyrics from a very pretty song by Magnet. Worth a $.99 download.
Nothing Hurts Me Now
There was a time you made me believe
That I'd recieve
Something that would hold,
And wouldn't leave me cold.
And there was a line
You made me cross
So the two of us
Would have the strength to bear
The crosses we couldn't share
But nothing hurts now
That didn't hurt before.
So I won't pretend
That it was the end of the world.
'Cause nothing hurts now.
No...
There was a time
I made you smile.
And for a while
I was beautiful to you.
I was beautiful like you.
But these things often pass,
And for you, they just wouldn't last.
So I was first to know
When you had to go.
But nothing hurts now
That didn't hurt before.
So I won't pretend,
That it was the end of the world,
'Cause nothing hurts now.
No nothing hurts now
That didn't hurt before.
So I won't pretend,
That it was the end of the world,
'Cause nothing hurts now
No nothing hurts now
Everyone who prefers not hurting chooses their preferred anesthetic..
and some days.. I do, too. Other days I gut it out. Hopefully, as time goes on, there are more of the latter than the former.
As Dr. S-W says, each day I can make it through the pain, I emerge the next day a little bit stronger, and the pain lessens a little bit, too.
Lyrics from a very pretty song by Magnet. Worth a $.99 download.
Nothing Hurts Me Now
There was a time you made me believe
That I'd recieve
Something that would hold,
And wouldn't leave me cold.
And there was a line
You made me cross
So the two of us
Would have the strength to bear
The crosses we couldn't share
But nothing hurts now
That didn't hurt before.
So I won't pretend
That it was the end of the world.
'Cause nothing hurts now.
No...
There was a time
I made you smile.
And for a while
I was beautiful to you.
I was beautiful like you.
But these things often pass,
And for you, they just wouldn't last.
So I was first to know
When you had to go.
But nothing hurts now
That didn't hurt before.
So I won't pretend,
That it was the end of the world,
'Cause nothing hurts now.
No nothing hurts now
That didn't hurt before.
So I won't pretend,
That it was the end of the world,
'Cause nothing hurts now
No nothing hurts now
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Sugar withdrawals
Once in a while Dr. Shrink-wrap comes up with a good tip for me for coping with loss in the short run, or with an analogy to help me think about loss differently in the long run. His coping tips have certainly been helpful, and I've put them to good use. He said again that I've made very good progress since last visit (a month ago.) Feels that way to me, too. Mostly.
So yesterday we started the process of digging a bit more into what's going on *underneath* the sense of loss - what is it exactly that I am missing so much, and why is my reaction to a loss so *big*? What need am I really trying to meet, and why is the need so overwhelming that a loss in that area would have such an impact?
I've been pestering him to get to this kind of analysis, and he's finally starting to. I think he wanted to help me with the day-to-day business of hanging on and surviving, first. And that seems more in hand now. So.. here we go - on to the deeper issues. :) Fun! (really - especially for a guy who always wants to know the "why" of things.)
We kicked around a variety of topics, sort of reviewed the vast panorama of my needs and losses, and tried several analogies on for size to help us both understand what all of that feels like to me, and maybe how to deal with it. One of them clicked. Since I have fought latent diabetes, poorly functioning insulin, and sugar intolerance for years now, we landed on that one.
I have sugar cravings. Always have. I remember during my years of studying for actuarial exams after work, I would prowl the meeting room wing of my former office building for leftover doughnuts from the day's meetings, that the cleaning people hadn't gotten to yet. When I found some, it was a genuine high; I felt so good and really wanted to apply myself to study. When I didn't find any, I was depressed and wanted to quit studying altogether. The more I allowed myself to have sweets, though.. the more I wanted them and began to depend on them. :( And, when I eventually went on a sugar fast for two weeks, it was just awful, but.. the cravings lessened considerably. The *need* was lessened.
Just like my body doesn't properly process sugar, and I have to work around that problem with diet (reducing sugar intake) and medication (to assist my insulin in doing its job), so my personality, as it's developed over the years, doesn't process certain emotional inputs properly, either. I need help in dealing with the disappointment that hits when emotional needs aren't met the way I want them to be, or when I lose the main source of how the need used to get met, whether the loss is forced on me by circumstances, or by my voluntarily choosing to get some distance from it. I also have to figure out ways to lessen the need, to reduce the emotional "craving".
Yuk. Reminds me of giving up sugar. It was nasty, didn't feel good at the time, but.. I did feel healthier afterwards, and more.. in control.
I hate the thought of it already. But.. let's get on with it, shall we?
So yesterday we started the process of digging a bit more into what's going on *underneath* the sense of loss - what is it exactly that I am missing so much, and why is my reaction to a loss so *big*? What need am I really trying to meet, and why is the need so overwhelming that a loss in that area would have such an impact?
I've been pestering him to get to this kind of analysis, and he's finally starting to. I think he wanted to help me with the day-to-day business of hanging on and surviving, first. And that seems more in hand now. So.. here we go - on to the deeper issues. :) Fun! (really - especially for a guy who always wants to know the "why" of things.)
We kicked around a variety of topics, sort of reviewed the vast panorama of my needs and losses, and tried several analogies on for size to help us both understand what all of that feels like to me, and maybe how to deal with it. One of them clicked. Since I have fought latent diabetes, poorly functioning insulin, and sugar intolerance for years now, we landed on that one.
I have sugar cravings. Always have. I remember during my years of studying for actuarial exams after work, I would prowl the meeting room wing of my former office building for leftover doughnuts from the day's meetings, that the cleaning people hadn't gotten to yet. When I found some, it was a genuine high; I felt so good and really wanted to apply myself to study. When I didn't find any, I was depressed and wanted to quit studying altogether. The more I allowed myself to have sweets, though.. the more I wanted them and began to depend on them. :( And, when I eventually went on a sugar fast for two weeks, it was just awful, but.. the cravings lessened considerably. The *need* was lessened.
Just like my body doesn't properly process sugar, and I have to work around that problem with diet (reducing sugar intake) and medication (to assist my insulin in doing its job), so my personality, as it's developed over the years, doesn't process certain emotional inputs properly, either. I need help in dealing with the disappointment that hits when emotional needs aren't met the way I want them to be, or when I lose the main source of how the need used to get met, whether the loss is forced on me by circumstances, or by my voluntarily choosing to get some distance from it. I also have to figure out ways to lessen the need, to reduce the emotional "craving".
Yuk. Reminds me of giving up sugar. It was nasty, didn't feel good at the time, but.. I did feel healthier afterwards, and more.. in control.
I hate the thought of it already. But.. let's get on with it, shall we?
Friday, December 28, 2007
Music Reviews: The Frames, Explosions In The Sky, Fiona Apple, etc.
The Frames, Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova - "Once", "The Cost", & "The Swell Season":
The movie "Once" is now out on DVD, and it's terrific. :) Essentially an Indie musical, the soundtrack has many wonderful songs on it that mentally take you back to certain scenes in the movie. The songs were woven in nearly seamlessly with the movie, and they capture the feel of it well. The soundtrack stands well on its own, but is enhanced by having seen the movie.
Glen Hansard is the lead singer and acoustic guitarist of an Irish rock group called The Frames, who are right up there with U2 as far as musicianship and crowd appeal goes, just absent the hope that U2's Christianity brings to their music. He co-stars in the movie opposite Marketa Irglova, who is a classical pianist just breaking into the pop music scene. Their chemistry on-screen equals that of their music together. Great songs on "Once": Lies, Falling Slowly, The Hill, All The Way Down, If You Want Me, Say It To Me Now, When Your Mind's Made Up; there are no clinkers on the CD at all. Simply great music.
"The Swell Season" features both singers again, and has some fine music cut from the same cloth as that used in the movie. Favorite tracks: Alone Apart, The Swell Season (instrumental), This Low. The duo also resurfaced recently on the Dylan biopic "I'm Not There", doing his You Ain't Going Nowhere, and doing it well.
"The Cost" is Hansard back with The Frames, but again the music sounds much like the "Once" soundtrack, with a couple of duplicated songs, but not many. Excellent album. On many of the tracks, Hansard starts out spare and soft, but the arrangement swells 2/3 of the way through, and crescendos before returning to the soft and spare. Favorite tracks: Rise, Sad Songs, Side You Never Get To See, Song For Someone, True. Two thumbs up for all three CDs, but especially the soundtrack to "Once" - and for the movie. Buy or rent it. :)
Fiona Apple - "Extraordinary Machine": At first I thought.. what the? Plucked violins, bells, bassoon combined with lyrics about coping with the hardness of life. Hm. I don't get it. As I listened again, and again, she sort grew on me. The songs are sometimes quirky, sometimes harsh (mostly on herself), often in the first person and introspective. Interesting. Not the kind of CD you can listen to casually, not a "background" listen. Favorites: the title track, plus Better Version Of Me, Parting Gift. Also really like an old track of hers from the 1996 "Tidal" album - Criminal - and a live track released as a single, the Elvis Costello song I Want You. Both of these last two.. pretty intense. Hard not to stop what you're doing and listen. :) One thumb up.
Explosions In The Sky - "The Earth Is Not A Cold Dead Place" & Others: Great electronic music without a lot of jarring effects. Just good, mellow sound. The captioned CD is excellent on every track (of which there aren't many, but.. each track is long.) I love this stuff for studying to. Their earlier albums also have some good tracks, but you have to pick and choose a bit to avoid ones that are more edgy and disturbing. I like several on "How Strange Innocence", including Magic Hours, A Song For Our Fathers and Remember Me As A Time Of Day. Two thumbs up for "The Earth.." CD. Excellent.
Naomi Streimer - "Images": Saw this Canadian singer at a benefit concert, and hoo boy, can she sing! She's one of those "total packages" that sometimes happens. Pretty as can be, plays piano well, sings great, writes well, and has a sunny disposition. Wow. She's just breaking into the US market and I think will do well. Great CD (not out on iTunes yet) - 17 tracks and no clinkers. Favorites: the title track, Cars, I Know That It's Love, Last Chance. Two thumbs up, for the CD and the artist. :)
The movie "Once" is now out on DVD, and it's terrific. :) Essentially an Indie musical, the soundtrack has many wonderful songs on it that mentally take you back to certain scenes in the movie. The songs were woven in nearly seamlessly with the movie, and they capture the feel of it well. The soundtrack stands well on its own, but is enhanced by having seen the movie.
Glen Hansard is the lead singer and acoustic guitarist of an Irish rock group called The Frames, who are right up there with U2 as far as musicianship and crowd appeal goes, just absent the hope that U2's Christianity brings to their music. He co-stars in the movie opposite Marketa Irglova, who is a classical pianist just breaking into the pop music scene. Their chemistry on-screen equals that of their music together. Great songs on "Once": Lies, Falling Slowly, The Hill, All The Way Down, If You Want Me, Say It To Me Now, When Your Mind's Made Up; there are no clinkers on the CD at all. Simply great music.
"The Swell Season" features both singers again, and has some fine music cut from the same cloth as that used in the movie. Favorite tracks: Alone Apart, The Swell Season (instrumental), This Low. The duo also resurfaced recently on the Dylan biopic "I'm Not There", doing his You Ain't Going Nowhere, and doing it well.
"The Cost" is Hansard back with The Frames, but again the music sounds much like the "Once" soundtrack, with a couple of duplicated songs, but not many. Excellent album. On many of the tracks, Hansard starts out spare and soft, but the arrangement swells 2/3 of the way through, and crescendos before returning to the soft and spare. Favorite tracks: Rise, Sad Songs, Side You Never Get To See, Song For Someone, True. Two thumbs up for all three CDs, but especially the soundtrack to "Once" - and for the movie. Buy or rent it. :)
Fiona Apple - "Extraordinary Machine": At first I thought.. what the? Plucked violins, bells, bassoon combined with lyrics about coping with the hardness of life. Hm. I don't get it. As I listened again, and again, she sort grew on me. The songs are sometimes quirky, sometimes harsh (mostly on herself), often in the first person and introspective. Interesting. Not the kind of CD you can listen to casually, not a "background" listen. Favorites: the title track, plus Better Version Of Me, Parting Gift. Also really like an old track of hers from the 1996 "Tidal" album - Criminal - and a live track released as a single, the Elvis Costello song I Want You. Both of these last two.. pretty intense. Hard not to stop what you're doing and listen. :) One thumb up.
Explosions In The Sky - "The Earth Is Not A Cold Dead Place" & Others: Great electronic music without a lot of jarring effects. Just good, mellow sound. The captioned CD is excellent on every track (of which there aren't many, but.. each track is long.) I love this stuff for studying to. Their earlier albums also have some good tracks, but you have to pick and choose a bit to avoid ones that are more edgy and disturbing. I like several on "How Strange Innocence", including Magic Hours, A Song For Our Fathers and Remember Me As A Time Of Day. Two thumbs up for "The Earth.." CD. Excellent.
Naomi Streimer - "Images": Saw this Canadian singer at a benefit concert, and hoo boy, can she sing! She's one of those "total packages" that sometimes happens. Pretty as can be, plays piano well, sings great, writes well, and has a sunny disposition. Wow. She's just breaking into the US market and I think will do well. Great CD (not out on iTunes yet) - 17 tracks and no clinkers. Favorites: the title track, Cars, I Know That It's Love, Last Chance. Two thumbs up, for the CD and the artist. :)
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Feed My Starving Children
.. was the organization we volunteered for. About 50 people from the church came (out of around 200 who attend each Sunday) - such a good turnout. And after some orientation, we set to work mixing, bagging, weighing, sealing, boxing up what I think of as 6-meal bags of MREs (Meals Ready To Eat - just cook in water.)
They're a balanced carb/protein/fat mixture of rice, soy and vegetables, with chicken flavoring laced with vitamins. All are sent to countries that are impoverished and have high rates of malnutrition, like Haiti, Niger, Indonesia. Our little team of seven (kids & adults) put together over 3000 meals in a little over 2 hours. It was a good way to spend an afternoon with 6 new friends, ensuring that 8 kids will be adequately fed from now until 2009. :)
They're a balanced carb/protein/fat mixture of rice, soy and vegetables, with chicken flavoring laced with vitamins. All are sent to countries that are impoverished and have high rates of malnutrition, like Haiti, Niger, Indonesia. Our little team of seven (kids & adults) put together over 3000 meals in a little over 2 hours. It was a good way to spend an afternoon with 6 new friends, ensuring that 8 kids will be adequately fed from now until 2009. :)
Vacation - sort of
I get to spend today doing whatever I desire. How fun is that?!? :)
But then again, I've committed to a couple of things: grading papers from my math class, and volunteering (along with others from my church) to boxing up food for people facing malnutrition around the world. Both good things.. so not really cramping my style on a day off.
There's still plenty of time to: go see a movie .. read a book from my ever-growing stack .. watch one of the videos from my Christmas gift pile .. attempt recording some of my cassettes to digital format .. cook a little (make some soup stock from a duck carcass and giblets) .. or whatever.
Should be a good day. Enjoy yours! :)
But then again, I've committed to a couple of things: grading papers from my math class, and volunteering (along with others from my church) to boxing up food for people facing malnutrition around the world. Both good things.. so not really cramping my style on a day off.
There's still plenty of time to: go see a movie .. read a book from my ever-growing stack .. watch one of the videos from my Christmas gift pile .. attempt recording some of my cassettes to digital format .. cook a little (make some soup stock from a duck carcass and giblets) .. or whatever.
Should be a good day. Enjoy yours! :)
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Kiss & fly
Dropped J1 at the airport today to send her back to California. :( But we had a nice 3 hour drive together back from the extended-family-Christmas-thingie, plus lunch at a great little grungy truckstop diner. She is in a rockabilly/psychobilly phase right now, and the ourvre of the place suited her. ;) Yeah, that's what I mean, mama. Sweet.
It was a nice time at the in-laws, seeing lots of family and doing all the traditional goofy stuff we do. No snow football, though. The younger generation wimped out on us old guys. (I think they knew that they'd kill us..)
So we sang instead. :) J2, me, his cousin Paul and Uncle Carl threw together an acappella vocal jazz version of Jingle Bells, a'la Manhattan Transfer. It went .. um .. fine. ;)
That plus "family band" (cover your ears), presents, toasts with aakavit (skoal!), rullepolse smorgasbord, and pancake breakfast sort of rounded out the day. J2 and I took in a movie, and J1 had "girl talk" time with the younger girl cousins who hung on her every word about men. ;) It was a nice time all around.
Now back home to a driveway full of snow and a broken snowblower. Yuk. Shoveling by hand, I have to get creative to keep from thinking about how much I hate this.. so I tried to make the five bars from the AT&T commercials (or is it Sprint?) in the driveway. I think it turned out looking more like lines of cocaine (ha - like I would know about such things..)
It was a nice time at the in-laws, seeing lots of family and doing all the traditional goofy stuff we do. No snow football, though. The younger generation wimped out on us old guys. (I think they knew that they'd kill us..)
So we sang instead. :) J2, me, his cousin Paul and Uncle Carl threw together an acappella vocal jazz version of Jingle Bells, a'la Manhattan Transfer. It went .. um .. fine. ;)
That plus "family band" (cover your ears), presents, toasts with aakavit (skoal!), rullepolse smorgasbord, and pancake breakfast sort of rounded out the day. J2 and I took in a movie, and J1 had "girl talk" time with the younger girl cousins who hung on her every word about men. ;) It was a nice time all around.
Now back home to a driveway full of snow and a broken snowblower. Yuk. Shoveling by hand, I have to get creative to keep from thinking about how much I hate this.. so I tried to make the five bars from the AT&T commercials (or is it Sprint?) in the driveway. I think it turned out looking more like lines of cocaine (ha - like I would know about such things..)
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Midnight Mass
..was about the coolest service ever. :)
I've never experienced anything like it. :) From the beautiful sanctuary lighting to the music (combined choirs and bell choir, with tympani and strings), to the dramatic and powerful readings, to the incense waved all around the altar, to the congregation all bringing bells from home and ringing them during the Gloria.. it was so grand.
And when the lights dimmed and the lector read about the Light coming into the world and persisting, undimmed, against the darkness of the world all around us, with the ancient words of the prophet Isaiah ringing through the sanctuary, and the pastor following with his homily along the same lines, it was such a beautiful combination of pageantry and simplicity.. my heart just wanted to break with the beauty of it.
And while I went, as always, so very grateful for mercy, and with my heart full of prayers for those I love and hold dear.. for the first time I began to experience what I understand is core to the Catholic mindset - a sense of communality in our shared journey of faith.
Kneeling in prayer before the service began, my prayers focused less on my heart's preparation and more on the people assembled there - that God would prepare for Himself a people, these people, whose hearts would be open before Him to receive Him and ready for transformation by Him. It was almost pastoral prayer.. as if these people were my charge, under my care.. I wondered at what God was doing in my heart this Christmas for this kind of prayer to come unbidden to my thoughts. I still wonder at it this morning.
And now it's off to see the extended family, and from there to say farewell and Godspeed to the kids as they head back to the home's-not-yet-here-but-no-longer-with-you-either places where they live.
Good Christmas to you, dear reader. May the Light persist, undimmed, through whatever darkness you face this winter. Take heart: joy will come again to you..
and to me.
I've never experienced anything like it. :) From the beautiful sanctuary lighting to the music (combined choirs and bell choir, with tympani and strings), to the dramatic and powerful readings, to the incense waved all around the altar, to the congregation all bringing bells from home and ringing them during the Gloria.. it was so grand.
And when the lights dimmed and the lector read about the Light coming into the world and persisting, undimmed, against the darkness of the world all around us, with the ancient words of the prophet Isaiah ringing through the sanctuary, and the pastor following with his homily along the same lines, it was such a beautiful combination of pageantry and simplicity.. my heart just wanted to break with the beauty of it.And while I went, as always, so very grateful for mercy, and with my heart full of prayers for those I love and hold dear.. for the first time I began to experience what I understand is core to the Catholic mindset - a sense of communality in our shared journey of faith.
Kneeling in prayer before the service began, my prayers focused less on my heart's preparation and more on the people assembled there - that God would prepare for Himself a people, these people, whose hearts would be open before Him to receive Him and ready for transformation by Him. It was almost pastoral prayer.. as if these people were my charge, under my care.. I wondered at what God was doing in my heart this Christmas for this kind of prayer to come unbidden to my thoughts. I still wonder at it this morning.
And now it's off to see the extended family, and from there to say farewell and Godspeed to the kids as they head back to the home's-not-yet-here-but-no-longer-with-you-either places where they live.
Good Christmas to you, dear reader. May the Light persist, undimmed, through whatever darkness you face this winter. Take heart: joy will come again to you..
and to me.
Monday, December 24, 2007
This is the night
This Christmas night, peace was bestowed upon the whole world; so let no one threaten.
This is the night of the Most Gentle One; let no one be cruel.
This is the night of the Most Humble One; let no one be proud.
Now is the day of joy; let us not revenge.
Now is the day of goodwill; let us not be mean.
In this day of peace let us not be conquered by anger.
Today the Beautiful One impoverished Himself for our sake; so you rich ones, invite the poor to your table.
Today we received a gift for which we did not ask; so let us give alms to those who implore us and beg.
This present day's fast opens the heavenly door to our prayers. Let us open our door to those who ask our forgiveness.
Now the Divine Being took upon Himself the seal of humanity, in order for humanity to be decorated by the seal of Divinity.
----- St. Isaac the Syrian
This is the night of the Most Gentle One; let no one be cruel.
This is the night of the Most Humble One; let no one be proud.
Now is the day of joy; let us not revenge.
Now is the day of goodwill; let us not be mean.
In this day of peace let us not be conquered by anger.
Today the Beautiful One impoverished Himself for our sake; so you rich ones, invite the poor to your table.
Today we received a gift for which we did not ask; so let us give alms to those who implore us and beg.
This present day's fast opens the heavenly door to our prayers. Let us open our door to those who ask our forgiveness.
Now the Divine Being took upon Himself the seal of humanity, in order for humanity to be decorated by the seal of Divinity.
----- St. Isaac the Syrian
Attack of the Killer Zombie Cookies..
I think J2's penchant for watching old 1950's horror flicks on cable is getting to me..
What a nice day yesterday.. especially frosting cookies with J1. Fun. :) I finally bowed to her incessant demands year after year of "Daaaaad! You have to frost on the *top* side of the cookies!!" instead of on the correct side - which is, of course, the back.
But but but! I always say... the frosting doesn't run off if you frost the side that laid on the cookie sheet!
Still.. she did fly all the way back from California.. I should play nice. :)
Besides, the regional state map does make more sense if you frost on the top side. ;) (And yes, I know.. wrong state. We'll fix that by next year, when we've driven around this new one a bit more.)
Oh, and not to mention she makes way better cookie art than I do. See?
As for mine, I went with a green and orange motif this year, for.. oh.. sentimental reasons. :) And aww.. didn't the heart turn out nice? ;)
And the gingerbread man is sort of Rothko-esque, don't you think?
Sunday, December 23, 2007
grace
.
favor undeserved
the other side of mercy
giving it brings peace
.
God did indeed grant grace. It was a risk well taken. :)
favor undeserved
the other side of mercy
giving it brings peace
.
God did indeed grant grace. It was a risk well taken. :)
Risk
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk being called sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams in front of a crowd is to risk being called naive.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love and live. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he has forfeited his freedom. Only the person who risks is truly free.
----- Janet Rand
I took risks with people yesterday. But they were risks worth taking, for the sake of openness.. for the sake of love.. for the sake of a hope for the future together. May God grant understanding.. and grace.
To weep is to risk being called sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams in front of a crowd is to risk being called naive.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love and live. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he has forfeited his freedom. Only the person who risks is truly free.
----- Janet Rand
I took risks with people yesterday. But they were risks worth taking, for the sake of openness.. for the sake of love.. for the sake of a hope for the future together. May God grant understanding.. and grace.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Better today
.
decorated tree
presents scattered all around
snow gently falling
.
It was lovely to wake to thick flakes drifting to ground, and have my morning coffee near the tree (yes, D found it, along with a box of decorations), and listen to tracks from J1's freshly uploaded Christmas CDs (Ella and Frank. Why didn't I have those?)
Now the women are off to the hairstylist, giving me a chance to wrap - and blog. :) J2 is still sleeping. No surprise there. ;)
Leftovers for lunch. Mmmm.. real *home* food. :) And maybe a movie later, after Mass.
No agenda today. It's nice.
What are you up to, I wonder?
decorated tree
presents scattered all around
snow gently falling
.
It was lovely to wake to thick flakes drifting to ground, and have my morning coffee near the tree (yes, D found it, along with a box of decorations), and listen to tracks from J1's freshly uploaded Christmas CDs (Ella and Frank. Why didn't I have those?)
Now the women are off to the hairstylist, giving me a chance to wrap - and blog. :) J2 is still sleeping. No surprise there. ;)
Leftovers for lunch. Mmmm.. real *home* food. :) And maybe a movie later, after Mass.
No agenda today. It's nice.
What are you up to, I wonder?
Friday, December 21, 2007
Back home again..
.. to some friendly surroundings and faces. Including two faces I haven't seen in .. well, just way too long. Welcome back, chilluns. :)
It was a long trip, with even longer drives this time. Some parts of this trip felt.. oh.. I don't know.. it's hard to put into words. Like I was where I thought I should be, but.. wasn't. Wanted, but.. not. :(
Plus the doctor visit was tough this time. And almost all of it felt.. just plain lonesome.
I don't know.. maybe I'm just tired. Somehow I wish it were... 5 years from now or something.
So I'm looking forward to being off work, off the road, and surrounded with people I love for a few days. I think I need it.
I think I need Christmas.
It was a long trip, with even longer drives this time. Some parts of this trip felt.. oh.. I don't know.. it's hard to put into words. Like I was where I thought I should be, but.. wasn't. Wanted, but.. not. :(
Plus the doctor visit was tough this time. And almost all of it felt.. just plain lonesome.
I don't know.. maybe I'm just tired. Somehow I wish it were... 5 years from now or something.
So I'm looking forward to being off work, off the road, and surrounded with people I love for a few days. I think I need it.
I think I need Christmas.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Meet and Greets
... by big cheeses in from out of town, business dinners with the same, last-second meetings (rescheduled 3 times), projects suddenly popping up in priority, working through lunch to meet a new deadline, drive-by delegation by your boss, online systems locking down for year end maintenance, holiday candy and cookies on decorated tables down every hallway (and more boxed Swiss chocolate than I've ever seen in my life), new software being pushed out to users, bringing visits from Microsoft's "blue screen of death", passwords expiring and resetting, drop-in visitors wanting to just kill time between meetings (*my* time!), lengthy meetings devoted to priority setting but without any conclusions, and coffee coffee and more coffee.
Yup, a typical week in the home office setting. Very much like 1000+ other such weeks I've known. Having my office at home has eliminated about 1/3 of this stuff, and it's really making a difference in my ability to tolerate this profession for a while longer.
It's the one-week-a-month that I have to spend down here in KC that reminds me of how glad I am that I didn't take the higher salary they used as bait to try to get me to work out of the main office, but stayed in the Twin Cities instead. :)
And while dinner *was* nice (potato/leek/basil soup, striped sea bass, asparagus spears wrapped in prosciutto, garlic/tarragon flan, and creme caramel for dessert) I'm beginning to have the confidence that I could have done just as well with it in my own kitchen! :) And I would definitely not have paired the garlic and tarragon.. ehhh. I don't think it worked.
I can't wait to set out driving today, even if it's not straight home. Let me out, and back on the road! Cheese curds at Culver's await! Now *that's* haute cuisine. ;)
Yup, a typical week in the home office setting. Very much like 1000+ other such weeks I've known. Having my office at home has eliminated about 1/3 of this stuff, and it's really making a difference in my ability to tolerate this profession for a while longer.
It's the one-week-a-month that I have to spend down here in KC that reminds me of how glad I am that I didn't take the higher salary they used as bait to try to get me to work out of the main office, but stayed in the Twin Cities instead. :)
And while dinner *was* nice (potato/leek/basil soup, striped sea bass, asparagus spears wrapped in prosciutto, garlic/tarragon flan, and creme caramel for dessert) I'm beginning to have the confidence that I could have done just as well with it in my own kitchen! :) And I would definitely not have paired the garlic and tarragon.. ehhh. I don't think it worked.
I can't wait to set out driving today, even if it's not straight home. Let me out, and back on the road! Cheese curds at Culver's await! Now *that's* haute cuisine. ;)
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
One story
"Only the good stories have the characters different at the end than they were in the beginning. And the closest thing I can liken life to is a book, the way it stretches out on paper, page after page, as if to trick the mind into thinking it isn't all happening at once.
"Time has pressed you and me into a book, too, this tiny chapter we share together, this vapor of a scene, pulling seconds into minutes and minutes into hours. Everything we were is no more, and what we will become, will become what was."
"It's a living book, this life; it folds out in a million settings, cast with a billion beautiful characters, and it is almost over for you. It doesn't matter how old you are; it is coming to a close quickly, and soon the credits will roll and all your friends will fold out of your funeral and drive back to their homes in cold and still and silence. And they will make a fire and pour some wine and think about how you once were . . . and feel a kind of sickness at the idea you never again will be.
"So soon you will be in that part of the book where you are holding the bulk of the pages with your left hand, and only a thin wisp of the story in your right. You will know by the page count, not by the narrative, that the Author is wrapping things up. You begin to mourn its ending, and want to pace yourself slowly toward its closure, knowing the last lines will speak of something beautiful, of the end of something long and earned, and you hope the thing closes out like last breaths, like whispers about how much and who the characters have come to love, and how authentic the sentiments feel when they have earned a hundred pages of qualification.
"We only have one story, you and I, and one story alone."
-----Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts
"Time has pressed you and me into a book, too, this tiny chapter we share together, this vapor of a scene, pulling seconds into minutes and minutes into hours. Everything we were is no more, and what we will become, will become what was."
"It's a living book, this life; it folds out in a million settings, cast with a billion beautiful characters, and it is almost over for you. It doesn't matter how old you are; it is coming to a close quickly, and soon the credits will roll and all your friends will fold out of your funeral and drive back to their homes in cold and still and silence. And they will make a fire and pour some wine and think about how you once were . . . and feel a kind of sickness at the idea you never again will be.
"So soon you will be in that part of the book where you are holding the bulk of the pages with your left hand, and only a thin wisp of the story in your right. You will know by the page count, not by the narrative, that the Author is wrapping things up. You begin to mourn its ending, and want to pace yourself slowly toward its closure, knowing the last lines will speak of something beautiful, of the end of something long and earned, and you hope the thing closes out like last breaths, like whispers about how much and who the characters have come to love, and how authentic the sentiments feel when they have earned a hundred pages of qualification.
"We only have one story, you and I, and one story alone."
-----Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Music Reviews: Esthero, Matchbox Twenty, Sara Bareilles, etc.
Since I'm about to get in the car for a 6 day trip to KC (and elsewhere - to get my regular checkup with my endocrinologist), I'll have lots of windshield time to review music, so.. I'd best get some of these up and posted. They're accumulating (as is my iTunes bill!)
But before we start.. a brief detour into the odd stuff one can find on the internet:
What
the
heck?
It's a sure sign that soccer is a truly global sport, when it's even being played by other..
species. :)
And with that.. let's get back to the mainstream:
Matchbox Twenty - "Exile on Mainstream": a greatest hits album plus 6 new tracks (essentially a bonus EP) included. I knew these guys were popular, having gotten lots of radio play over the last few years, but had only really paid attention to a couple of their songs. I think I should have been playing closer attention. :) Nice strong pop sound, good hooks, catchy tunes, solid instrumental backing and a decently interesting lead vocal. I like it! Really strong album for the price, too. :) Favorites: I'll Believe You When, How Far We've Come, These Hard Times, If I Fall, Can't Let You Go, Bent, If You're Gone, Bright Lights. Thumbs up!
Sara Bareilles - "Little Voice": Ha. *Hardly* little. :) Great voice. Gravity - a great song with some very thoughtful lyrics (and ones I can understand.) But that's not the only winner on the disc. Love Song is catchy and pop-y with the piano as truly a percussion instrument, setting a strong chordal beat. Also good are Between The Lines, Love on the Rocks, Many the Miles, but really not a bad track on the CD. Thumbs up for Sara B.
Esthero - "Breath From Another": This girl sounds a lot like Emiliana Torrini, or like Sade or Sia. And sort of Jazz/Funk, or.. what is it called? Trip-hop? Down Tempo? Oy! So many genres to keep track of! Too many niches in music now. Leads to mass customization on internet radio, which is cool, but.. who do you pick to listen to? Everybody sounds like someone else in some way. Too many choices.. just put the whole playlist on random shuffle and let 'er go!
Sorry for the rant, there. So.. Esthero.. good in a playlist of similar modern girl singers (which I do have, and play often.) Stirring and soothing at the same time. It's sort of what I think of anyway when it comes to.. oh, never mind. ;) This is a music review. Focus, Bob.
I like best her tracks sung softly with a Funk/Latin feel, like: Anywayz, Country Livin', Half a World Away, Lounge, Superheroes. I don't at all like the title track on this CD - it strays outside the bounds of what I might listen to in mixed company. Another track, Flipper Overture, is only 44 seconds. On the other end of the spectrum is Swallow Me, 15 minutes long, because there's 5 minutes of silence in it waiting for a hidden track to come up that isn't worth the wait. :( A track of hers that isn't on this CD, but is very much worth a download, is Every Day Is A Holiday With You. Nice. :) Anyway, one thumb up for this CD. I'd pick and choose the tracks.
Jem - "Finally Woken": Pretty, pleasant little album, light and easy romantic female vocals over electronic music background. Nothing real stunning, nothing quirky, but all pretty enjoyable to listen to. Some uptempo, some light & pop-y, some slow grooves. All are love songs in some way or other. Another good addition to the "modern girls" playlist. No real standouts, but no bad tracks either. Favorites: Flying High :) , Save Me, Stay Now (mmhmm) , They, Wish I, Falling For You. Thumbs up.
Nick Drake - "Pink Moon": Old, old, old (from my era!) But good. This is really an exception to the rule of staying within the last decade, but this guy played guitar and sang in such a way that he really was ahead of his time. This album from 1972 sounds like it could have been produced this year. Only very occasionally does he sound Dylanesque (From The Morning sounds like Dylan's Don't Think Twice, It's Alright), or like the occasional spare acoustic pieces of Led Zeppelin (Parasite).
But mostly you can hear the kind of chord progressions very common to today's music (when you hear Which Will, think Iron & Wine). I don't remember ever hearing of him back in the day, but it's probably because he sounded like nothing else being played back then. He sounds like today. All good tracks. Favorites: From The Morning, Know, Parasite, Place To Be, Road, Things Behind The Sun, Which Will. Two thumbs up on this surprising vintage album. :)
And now.. to hit the road. Always a bit of an adventure.. with sometimes a surprise or two on the way. :)
Who knows what (or where) it will be this time?
But before we start.. a brief detour into the odd stuff one can find on the internet:
Whatthe
heck?
It's a sure sign that soccer is a truly global sport, when it's even being played by other..
species. :)
And with that.. let's get back to the mainstream:
Matchbox Twenty - "Exile on Mainstream": a greatest hits album plus 6 new tracks (essentially a bonus EP) included. I knew these guys were popular, having gotten lots of radio play over the last few years, but had only really paid attention to a couple of their songs. I think I should have been playing closer attention. :) Nice strong pop sound, good hooks, catchy tunes, solid instrumental backing and a decently interesting lead vocal. I like it! Really strong album for the price, too. :) Favorites: I'll Believe You When, How Far We've Come, These Hard Times, If I Fall, Can't Let You Go, Bent, If You're Gone, Bright Lights. Thumbs up!
Sara Bareilles - "Little Voice": Ha. *Hardly* little. :) Great voice. Gravity - a great song with some very thoughtful lyrics (and ones I can understand.) But that's not the only winner on the disc. Love Song is catchy and pop-y with the piano as truly a percussion instrument, setting a strong chordal beat. Also good are Between The Lines, Love on the Rocks, Many the Miles, but really not a bad track on the CD. Thumbs up for Sara B.
Esthero - "Breath From Another": This girl sounds a lot like Emiliana Torrini, or like Sade or Sia. And sort of Jazz/Funk, or.. what is it called? Trip-hop? Down Tempo? Oy! So many genres to keep track of! Too many niches in music now. Leads to mass customization on internet radio, which is cool, but.. who do you pick to listen to? Everybody sounds like someone else in some way. Too many choices.. just put the whole playlist on random shuffle and let 'er go!
Sorry for the rant, there. So.. Esthero.. good in a playlist of similar modern girl singers (which I do have, and play often.) Stirring and soothing at the same time. It's sort of what I think of anyway when it comes to.. oh, never mind. ;) This is a music review. Focus, Bob.
I like best her tracks sung softly with a Funk/Latin feel, like: Anywayz, Country Livin', Half a World Away, Lounge, Superheroes. I don't at all like the title track on this CD - it strays outside the bounds of what I might listen to in mixed company. Another track, Flipper Overture, is only 44 seconds. On the other end of the spectrum is Swallow Me, 15 minutes long, because there's 5 minutes of silence in it waiting for a hidden track to come up that isn't worth the wait. :( A track of hers that isn't on this CD, but is very much worth a download, is Every Day Is A Holiday With You. Nice. :) Anyway, one thumb up for this CD. I'd pick and choose the tracks.
Jem - "Finally Woken": Pretty, pleasant little album, light and easy romantic female vocals over electronic music background. Nothing real stunning, nothing quirky, but all pretty enjoyable to listen to. Some uptempo, some light & pop-y, some slow grooves. All are love songs in some way or other. Another good addition to the "modern girls" playlist. No real standouts, but no bad tracks either. Favorites: Flying High :) , Save Me, Stay Now (mmhmm) , They, Wish I, Falling For You. Thumbs up.
Nick Drake - "Pink Moon": Old, old, old (from my era!) But good. This is really an exception to the rule of staying within the last decade, but this guy played guitar and sang in such a way that he really was ahead of his time. This album from 1972 sounds like it could have been produced this year. Only very occasionally does he sound Dylanesque (From The Morning sounds like Dylan's Don't Think Twice, It's Alright), or like the occasional spare acoustic pieces of Led Zeppelin (Parasite).
But mostly you can hear the kind of chord progressions very common to today's music (when you hear Which Will, think Iron & Wine). I don't remember ever hearing of him back in the day, but it's probably because he sounded like nothing else being played back then. He sounds like today. All good tracks. Favorites: From The Morning, Know, Parasite, Place To Be, Road, Things Behind The Sun, Which Will. Two thumbs up on this surprising vintage album. :)
And now.. to hit the road. Always a bit of an adventure.. with sometimes a surprise or two on the way. :)
Who knows what (or where) it will be this time?
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Who's Got The Monkey?
Waaaaay back in the early 90's, a couple of work buddies of mine (one of whom was even more competitive and ambitious and cocky than I was - the snot!) and I used to joke about getting the monkey to jump.
The idea was, when someone had a work problem, and didn't want to deal with it, they looked for someone either more junior than they (or more of a sucker for a sad tale) to see if they could get the monkey to jump off their back and onto the other person's.
If they were successful, then the person who took on the responsibility (wound up with the monkey) was the loser, and the person who got rid of the difficult assignment (got the monkey to jump) was the winner. It was a status thing.
Jeff always seemed to have a knack for getting the monkey to jump off of him, or for avoiding the monkey someone else was jettisoning. Me.. I got the monkey a fair amount. Softie.. :( Jeff's out of that career now, doing what he wants to do, and I'm... still plugging away.
So due to some very difficult circumstances this week, in the life of someone close to me, I got to thinking about this idea again. And I wondered.. does this same thing apply in people's personal lives?
Sure. It's kind of what the victim mentality is all about. My problems are really someone *else's* fault and *they* should take the blame. My stresses should be borne by someone else because they're too much for me, and if they don't take on my problem, they don't really love me.
As I talk with Dr. Shrink-wrap, he sometimes takes me back to my parents, my brother.. and I would love to think that yes, how I am today is all their fault, and they should own up to it and help me fix things now. If they loved me, they'd see that.
But, of course, in about 2 seconds I dump that whole idea because..
they're all dead.
What are they gonna do?
Neither admit fault nor render assistance, that's for sure.
Nor are the kids who were so brutal to me in jr. & sr. high, or the employers in whom I mistakenly placed my trust. All past and gone - no relationships left.
So who has to deal with how things are?
Me.
And that's okay. That's how it should be.
But for those who still have parents around, siblings around, or spouses or old lovers or old friends or past teachers or previous bosses or whomever may have hurt them.. should they be trying to get their monkeys to jump, just because these people are still living?
Of course not. They should see themselves in the same situation as one whose past is.. truly.. past and done. As mine is. They should play the hand they've been dealt and make the best of it they can, not ask someone else to play it for them.
I have certainly learned in the last few years that no one will play my hand for me, live my life for me, protect my interests at every turn.. nor should they. That's my place to do, not theirs. It's my monkey, not theirs. And FTM, I say..
The corollary to that is, though (and this is what's hard for me to remember), is that if I shouldn't be trying to get my monkeys to jump, neither should I agree to play someone else's hand, live someone else's life, protect someone else's interests at every turn.. for really, someday, I won't be here.. and then who will deal with life for them?
There's a point at which we all need to grow up, and deal with our own monkeys.. but not by getting them to jump to someone else.
Help I'll give, but I won't take ownership.
The idea was, when someone had a work problem, and didn't want to deal with it, they looked for someone either more junior than they (or more of a sucker for a sad tale) to see if they could get the monkey to jump off their back and onto the other person's.
If they were successful, then the person who took on the responsibility (wound up with the monkey) was the loser, and the person who got rid of the difficult assignment (got the monkey to jump) was the winner. It was a status thing.
Jeff always seemed to have a knack for getting the monkey to jump off of him, or for avoiding the monkey someone else was jettisoning. Me.. I got the monkey a fair amount. Softie.. :( Jeff's out of that career now, doing what he wants to do, and I'm... still plugging away.
So due to some very difficult circumstances this week, in the life of someone close to me, I got to thinking about this idea again. And I wondered.. does this same thing apply in people's personal lives?
Sure. It's kind of what the victim mentality is all about. My problems are really someone *else's* fault and *they* should take the blame. My stresses should be borne by someone else because they're too much for me, and if they don't take on my problem, they don't really love me.
As I talk with Dr. Shrink-wrap, he sometimes takes me back to my parents, my brother.. and I would love to think that yes, how I am today is all their fault, and they should own up to it and help me fix things now. If they loved me, they'd see that.
But, of course, in about 2 seconds I dump that whole idea because..
they're all dead.
What are they gonna do?
Neither admit fault nor render assistance, that's for sure.
Nor are the kids who were so brutal to me in jr. & sr. high, or the employers in whom I mistakenly placed my trust. All past and gone - no relationships left.
So who has to deal with how things are?
Me.
And that's okay. That's how it should be.
But for those who still have parents around, siblings around, or spouses or old lovers or old friends or past teachers or previous bosses or whomever may have hurt them.. should they be trying to get their monkeys to jump, just because these people are still living?
Of course not. They should see themselves in the same situation as one whose past is.. truly.. past and done. As mine is. They should play the hand they've been dealt and make the best of it they can, not ask someone else to play it for them.
I have certainly learned in the last few years that no one will play my hand for me, live my life for me, protect my interests at every turn.. nor should they. That's my place to do, not theirs. It's my monkey, not theirs. And FTM, I say..
The corollary to that is, though (and this is what's hard for me to remember), is that if I shouldn't be trying to get my monkeys to jump, neither should I agree to play someone else's hand, live someone else's life, protect someone else's interests at every turn.. for really, someday, I won't be here.. and then who will deal with life for them?
There's a point at which we all need to grow up, and deal with our own monkeys.. but not by getting them to jump to someone else.
Help I'll give, but I won't take ownership.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Concerts
You get what you pay for.
I had this itch to go see some up-and-coming bands, and check out the local venues for such things, while D was off visiting J2 at college, so.. I go out on the web and see that this week there's a couple of relatively cheap entry fees at two popular concert venues, First Ave and Myth. Cool! Maybe I can get the drift of what they're like without investing a pile of cash.
And besides.. hey.. how bad can they be?
Um..
yeah.
Well, First Ave was.. an experience. That much I'll say.
I mean, I played in two bands in high school, and.. oh never mind. :) It's like saying I walked to school 3 miles uphill both ways through snow and ice from October to April, blah, blah, blah. You would have had to have lived in both eras to get it.
One thing that was kind of interesting, though.. the pre-show music they were playing at First Ave over the sound system was a current band, and I heard an awful lot of Black Sabbath in it. And the kids around me were talking about Led Zeppelin's reunion concert and how this one friend of theirs listens to nothing but Miles Davis and Led Zeppelin. And they thought he was cool. Weird!
The main difference between the pre-show music I heard and the stuff I listened to in 1972 is.. the sound systems and recording equipment are way better now. The bass is incredible! If Zep had had access to sound reproduction like that.. woahh. You talk about heavy, man..
Anyway, quite the difference between the two venues. First Ave is showing its age and needs some upkeep. But a lot of history there - great bands have come through there over time. The "low-end" part of the place is small and really dumpy, but suits the mood of the rough, unpolished bands that play there, who are just getting their feet wet, looking for a break, etc.
On the other end of the spectrum is Myth. Sorry about the blurry image, but.. it's cold up here! My hands were shaking with the cold..
An enormous, glitzy dance club with jumbotrons and VIP boxes, and very good-looking drink servers of all stripes. :) I think I was lucky to go there on a Friday night when it was given over to a benefit concert for a local family whose lives were disrupted by domestic violence. Horrible story, but a terrific community response.
Anyway, a Canadian singer, unknown in the USA, gave the concert. She will show up in a future music review of mine. ;) Tremendous talent, though still a bit awkward on stage. But boy.. she will do very well for herself! Excellent CD, too - and cheap. :)
For a concert, there was waaaay too much talking and heartfelt videos, but for a benefit event it was a heck of a deal. :) Plus, I got to contribute to a really good cause. Maybe in this case I did get more than I paid for. :)
I had this itch to go see some up-and-coming bands, and check out the local venues for such things, while D was off visiting J2 at college, so.. I go out on the web and see that this week there's a couple of relatively cheap entry fees at two popular concert venues, First Ave and Myth. Cool! Maybe I can get the drift of what they're like without investing a pile of cash.
And besides.. hey.. how bad can they be?
Um..
yeah.
Well, First Ave was.. an experience. That much I'll say.
I mean, I played in two bands in high school, and.. oh never mind. :) It's like saying I walked to school 3 miles uphill both ways through snow and ice from October to April, blah, blah, blah. You would have had to have lived in both eras to get it.
One thing that was kind of interesting, though.. the pre-show music they were playing at First Ave over the sound system was a current band, and I heard an awful lot of Black Sabbath in it. And the kids around me were talking about Led Zeppelin's reunion concert and how this one friend of theirs listens to nothing but Miles Davis and Led Zeppelin. And they thought he was cool. Weird!
The main difference between the pre-show music I heard and the stuff I listened to in 1972 is.. the sound systems and recording equipment are way better now. The bass is incredible! If Zep had had access to sound reproduction like that.. woahh. You talk about heavy, man..
Anyway, quite the difference between the two venues. First Ave is showing its age and needs some upkeep. But a lot of history there - great bands have come through there over time. The "low-end" part of the place is small and really dumpy, but suits the mood of the rough, unpolished bands that play there, who are just getting their feet wet, looking for a break, etc.On the other end of the spectrum is Myth. Sorry about the blurry image, but.. it's cold up here! My hands were shaking with the cold..
An enormous, glitzy dance club with jumbotrons and VIP boxes, and very good-looking drink servers of all stripes. :) I think I was lucky to go there on a Friday night when it was given over to a benefit concert for a local family whose lives were disrupted by domestic violence. Horrible story, but a terrific community response. Anyway, a Canadian singer, unknown in the USA, gave the concert. She will show up in a future music review of mine. ;) Tremendous talent, though still a bit awkward on stage. But boy.. she will do very well for herself! Excellent CD, too - and cheap. :)
For a concert, there was waaaay too much talking and heartfelt videos, but for a benefit event it was a heck of a deal. :) Plus, I got to contribute to a really good cause. Maybe in this case I did get more than I paid for. :)
Thursday, December 13, 2007
'Roid Rage
I'm starting to think there's something to it.
For the last 4 years I've been following the direction of this endocrinologist to deal with a whacked-out pituitary and its effects on the rest of my endocrine system, and one of the medications required is this synthetic testosterone goop I have to slather on every morning. I guess that's better than getting shots..
Actually it's kind of creepy and cool at the same time to have all this "CIII controlled substance" stuff in my house.. legally, of course. Sometimes I dream of being in front of a grand jury alongside Barry Bonds. "No, your honor, I've never knowingly supplied Mr. Bonds with any illegal substance.." ewwww..
Anyway, Monday the bottle's little pumping mechanism (it dispenses controlled dosages of the aforementioned controlled substance) was sticking and I had to pull it up after each pump. Then pop! All of a sudden I have a whole handful of it! Rats! Now what? You can't put it back in the bottle.. oh, what the heck. If some is good, more is..
..not advisable!
I was climbing the walls all afternoon. Edgy? Oh, my! Any little irritation was cause for a tantrum! I can't remember the last time I used language like that. :( Good thing D was at school registering for classes. I worried *myself*, I was acting so weird. I can't imagine how much I would have worried anyone else.
It finally started to wear off on my way to teach my math class for Stritch. Listening to Fiona Apple in the car helped a bit. She's even stranger and angrier than I felt. ;)
So.. no more being cavalier with the dosage! :( Any excess goes down the drain. Yikes!
For the last 4 years I've been following the direction of this endocrinologist to deal with a whacked-out pituitary and its effects on the rest of my endocrine system, and one of the medications required is this synthetic testosterone goop I have to slather on every morning. I guess that's better than getting shots..
Actually it's kind of creepy and cool at the same time to have all this "CIII controlled substance" stuff in my house.. legally, of course. Sometimes I dream of being in front of a grand jury alongside Barry Bonds. "No, your honor, I've never knowingly supplied Mr. Bonds with any illegal substance.." ewwww..
Anyway, Monday the bottle's little pumping mechanism (it dispenses controlled dosages of the aforementioned controlled substance) was sticking and I had to pull it up after each pump. Then pop! All of a sudden I have a whole handful of it! Rats! Now what? You can't put it back in the bottle.. oh, what the heck. If some is good, more is..
..not advisable!
I was climbing the walls all afternoon. Edgy? Oh, my! Any little irritation was cause for a tantrum! I can't remember the last time I used language like that. :( Good thing D was at school registering for classes. I worried *myself*, I was acting so weird. I can't imagine how much I would have worried anyone else.
It finally started to wear off on my way to teach my math class for Stritch. Listening to Fiona Apple in the car helped a bit. She's even stranger and angrier than I felt. ;)
So.. no more being cavalier with the dosage! :( Any excess goes down the drain. Yikes!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
oneness
In all civilizations people have sensed a mysterious sacredness about the union of man and woman. There has always been a vague realization that the deep longing for oneness with "the other" is life-giving -- and that it is a longing for oneness with the source of all life.
----- Handbook For Today's Catholic
.
totally other
my beloved opposite
separate yet one
.
----- Handbook For Today's Catholic
.
totally other
my beloved opposite
separate yet one
.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Tis the season.. for tendonitis?
The first Christmas cards of the season arrived.. last week already! Two of my nieces (sisters) each sent one, arriving a day apart, and I had to wonder if they had a bet on to see which one would finish her card list first! ;)
Anyway, I guess it's official, the card & letter season has begun. Ours are in the process of getting out the door..
And with a foot of snow on the ground, it has looked like that season for some time now. No ice so far, yet, thankfully. Only thing ice is good for (except in a gin & tonic) is for applying to various and sundry body parts. :(
(I'll bet that was a segue, what do you think?)
So what's the tendonitis reference in the title for?
Gee, thanks for asking. :P
I was in this routine of running a couple of times a week and doing a little strength training, too - once/twice a week. I had just increased the weights, and began to notice that there was a pulling in my left (weaker) forearm, just inside the elbow heading down toward the wrist. Just seemed a little weak and sore at times. Could still lift, though, no problem.
So I asked a co-worker in KC (via IM) what he thought, as he was a lifter once upon a time. He said: "you've inflamed the tendon. Stop lifting for a while. Let it rest."
That was 2 weeks ago. It doesn't hurt quite as much, but now the pulling is traveling up from the elbow toward the shoulder. What's up with that? And how long does this stuff take to settle down?
I mean.. I have a snow football game coming up at Christmas with the brothers-in-law and the next generation coming up behind them (including J2), so.. I gotta be ready to play! I'm gonna feel like Brett Favre I think.. playing at less than 100% but still able to work miracles on the field. :)
Yeah, dream on, Bob.. your kid is gonna level you.. you'll be watching the action go by, lying on your back. ;)
Anyway, I guess it's official, the card & letter season has begun. Ours are in the process of getting out the door..
And with a foot of snow on the ground, it has looked like that season for some time now. No ice so far, yet, thankfully. Only thing ice is good for (except in a gin & tonic) is for applying to various and sundry body parts. :(
(I'll bet that was a segue, what do you think?)
So what's the tendonitis reference in the title for?
Gee, thanks for asking. :P
I was in this routine of running a couple of times a week and doing a little strength training, too - once/twice a week. I had just increased the weights, and began to notice that there was a pulling in my left (weaker) forearm, just inside the elbow heading down toward the wrist. Just seemed a little weak and sore at times. Could still lift, though, no problem.
So I asked a co-worker in KC (via IM) what he thought, as he was a lifter once upon a time. He said: "you've inflamed the tendon. Stop lifting for a while. Let it rest."
That was 2 weeks ago. It doesn't hurt quite as much, but now the pulling is traveling up from the elbow toward the shoulder. What's up with that? And how long does this stuff take to settle down?
I mean.. I have a snow football game coming up at Christmas with the brothers-in-law and the next generation coming up behind them (including J2), so.. I gotta be ready to play! I'm gonna feel like Brett Favre I think.. playing at less than 100% but still able to work miracles on the field. :)
Yeah, dream on, Bob.. your kid is gonna level you.. you'll be watching the action go by, lying on your back. ;)
Monday, December 10, 2007
A heart for God?
A few weeks ago the pastor of the new church we're attending preached a sermon on the life of Daniel, one of the few people in Scripture who didn't seem to exhibit any flaws, and one of the three (along with Noah and Job) whom God, through Ezekiel, singles out as righteous. He's also one of the few prophets whose teaching Jesus refers to by name.
Shortly after he preached that sermon we exchanged get-acquainted emails, and I pointed him to a recent post of mine on the up-and-down life of King David, and how I relate both to it, and to the things he wrote. Thought it might make a good sermon on how NOT to get through mid-life.. ;)
He responded like this:
"I enjoyed your 'take' on David's life. Yes, he was certainly complex. And, as you well stated, the trajectory of his life certainly leveled off in his mid to later years. What's so interesting is that from his reign on, he's still considered the 'gold standard' of kings. Most every other king in the OT gets compared to him. Whatever he was, his 'heart for God' continues to be the compelling legacy of his life."
And you know, I hadn't thought of it like that. Despite his
fears and failings,
losses and lustfulness,
sadness and selfishness,
apathies and abdications,
rebellions and recklessness,
(preachers do like alliteration - poets, too!) his heart for God still was evident. God used that heart, still hungry for Him, to rouse David again and again to worship, zeal, duty, courage, and even joy.
I wonder if He can use mine to do the same. I already know all about David's flaws.. could I also have his heart?
Shortly after he preached that sermon we exchanged get-acquainted emails, and I pointed him to a recent post of mine on the up-and-down life of King David, and how I relate both to it, and to the things he wrote. Thought it might make a good sermon on how NOT to get through mid-life.. ;)
He responded like this:
"I enjoyed your 'take' on David's life. Yes, he was certainly complex. And, as you well stated, the trajectory of his life certainly leveled off in his mid to later years. What's so interesting is that from his reign on, he's still considered the 'gold standard' of kings. Most every other king in the OT gets compared to him. Whatever he was, his 'heart for God' continues to be the compelling legacy of his life."
And you know, I hadn't thought of it like that. Despite his
fears and failings,
losses and lustfulness,
sadness and selfishness,
apathies and abdications,
rebellions and recklessness,
(preachers do like alliteration - poets, too!) his heart for God still was evident. God used that heart, still hungry for Him, to rouse David again and again to worship, zeal, duty, courage, and even joy.
I wonder if He can use mine to do the same. I already know all about David's flaws.. could I also have his heart?
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Sprinkling & Spe Salvi
Well, this was something new.
At Mass yesterday, the priest prayed a blessing over a bowl of water, and then while the choir was singing a number, took a pine bough and went through the congregation dipping it in the bowl and shaking it out at the people, who then made the sign of the cross as they were sprinkled with .. holy water, I guess? That's what they call it after the blessing is asked?
I had heard of the practice, but had never seen it. Boy, I'l tell you.. these Catholics really do worship with their bodies, and use all kinds of physical aids to the process. It's really something. Definitely appeals to the senses. :)
But what in the world is this for? This sprinkling?
Fortunately the sponsor St. Rose's assigned to me happened to be there today, singing in the choir, so I caught her afterwards and asked. She said it happens occasionally, and is meant both as a blessing (a setting apart as holy) of the people, and a reminder of their baptisms and the vows that were said for them.
Oh, and I saw something else new recently. The local Catholic weekly had some quotes from the new encyclical on hope by Benedict XVI:
"Christ's sacrifice overturned the pagan worldview of the early Christian era. In Christianity's new vision, the universe was governed not by the laws of matter but by a personal God who revealed himself in the person of Jesus Christ."
"And if we know this person and he knows us, then truly the inexorable power of material elements no longer has the last word; we are not slaves of the universe and of its laws, we are free."
Amen, brother. You sound pretty solid there. :)
Um.. may I call you brother?
I don't know the protocol. But I'd bet you wouldn't mind *that* much.
If you ever come to the Twin Cities, and you're still up to it after the long trip, we could go bowling and talk this sprinkling thing over..
Oh, and just for fun.. the pastor at church this morning, true to form, had another crazy introduction to his sermon. They ran this video clip as a run-up to a discussion of joy during the holidays. I can't remember laughing this much in church in a long time. :) If you watch, stick with it all the way to the end.. ;)
I wonder if Il Papa his own self would laugh. :P Hope so.
At Mass yesterday, the priest prayed a blessing over a bowl of water, and then while the choir was singing a number, took a pine bough and went through the congregation dipping it in the bowl and shaking it out at the people, who then made the sign of the cross as they were sprinkled with .. holy water, I guess? That's what they call it after the blessing is asked?
I had heard of the practice, but had never seen it. Boy, I'l tell you.. these Catholics really do worship with their bodies, and use all kinds of physical aids to the process. It's really something. Definitely appeals to the senses. :)
But what in the world is this for? This sprinkling?
Fortunately the sponsor St. Rose's assigned to me happened to be there today, singing in the choir, so I caught her afterwards and asked. She said it happens occasionally, and is meant both as a blessing (a setting apart as holy) of the people, and a reminder of their baptisms and the vows that were said for them.
Oh, and I saw something else new recently. The local Catholic weekly had some quotes from the new encyclical on hope by Benedict XVI:
"Christ's sacrifice overturned the pagan worldview of the early Christian era. In Christianity's new vision, the universe was governed not by the laws of matter but by a personal God who revealed himself in the person of Jesus Christ."
"And if we know this person and he knows us, then truly the inexorable power of material elements no longer has the last word; we are not slaves of the universe and of its laws, we are free."
Amen, brother. You sound pretty solid there. :)
Um.. may I call you brother?
I don't know the protocol. But I'd bet you wouldn't mind *that* much.
If you ever come to the Twin Cities, and you're still up to it after the long trip, we could go bowling and talk this sprinkling thing over..
Oh, and just for fun.. the pastor at church this morning, true to form, had another crazy introduction to his sermon. They ran this video clip as a run-up to a discussion of joy during the holidays. I can't remember laughing this much in church in a long time. :) If you watch, stick with it all the way to the end.. ;)
I wonder if Il Papa his own self would laugh. :P Hope so.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Dreamin' again
Listening to some of the music from my high school years last night, I came across this one by Jim Croce. It triggered memories. I won't say from when..
Don't you know I had a dream last night
That you were here with me
Lyin' by my side so soft and warm
And we talked a while
And shared a smile
And then we shared the dawn
But when I woke up
From my dream it was gone
Don't you know I had a dream last night
And you were here with me
Lyin' by my side so soft and warm
And you said you'd thought it over
You said you were coming home
But when I woke up
From my dream it was gone
I'm not the same
Can you blame me
Is it hard to understand
I can't forget
You can't change me
I am not that kind of man
Don't you know I had a dream last night
And ev'rything was still
And you were by my side so soft and warm
And I dreamed that we were lovers
In the lemon scented rain
But when I woke up
I found that again, I had been
Dreamin', dreamin' again
I had been dreamin', dreamin' again
Don't you know I had a dream last night
That you were here with me
Lyin' by my side so soft and warm
And we talked a while
And shared a smile
And then we shared the dawn
But when I woke up
From my dream it was gone
Don't you know I had a dream last night
And you were here with me
Lyin' by my side so soft and warm
And you said you'd thought it over
You said you were coming home
But when I woke up
From my dream it was gone
I'm not the same
Can you blame me
Is it hard to understand
I can't forget
You can't change me
I am not that kind of man
Don't you know I had a dream last night
And ev'rything was still
And you were by my side so soft and warm
And I dreamed that we were lovers
In the lemon scented rain
But when I woke up
I found that again, I had been
Dreamin', dreamin' again
I had been dreamin', dreamin' again
Friday, December 07, 2007
What place Providence?
.. and I don't mean where the Big East school is going to finish in the standings for men's basketball this year.
I mean the notion that God exerts some measure of direction over life on this earth. In general, a benevolent direction.. or rather, a direction that tends toward our benefit over eternity.
Our last class in TS501 on Tuesday dealt with this issue, and some of the difficulties we face in both accepting it as true, and denying it as true. Here is an example in pictures:
What do you observe about this scene?
The class spent a few minutes speculating on the cause of this situation. What explains it? Looks like the truck went through a guard rail. What explains why it happened, where it landed, and how?
Well.. physics explains the landing, I guess. The speed of the truck, the resistance of the guard rail, the trajectory of the vehicle as it left the road, the shape of the hillside, the presence of the culvert, all contributed to the truck landing right side up. Right?
Why did it happen? Maybe the driver was drunk. Maybe he had the sun in his eyes. Maybe she was texting someone on her cell phone. Maybe he swerved to miss an armadillo. Maybe she spilled hot coffee on her lap. Who knows?
There's an explanation, we were sure of it. Natural laws of physics and the vagaries of human behavior combined to produce this effect.
Right?
Now a few quotes from the theologians:
“Natural science yields facts and theories about creation; but facts and theories alone do not constitute a worldview.”
“Theological, philosophical and scientific evidence are all relevant to answering important worldview questions, and any attempt to hermetically seal-off these disciplines will lead to incoherence…There is one God (or religious Reality) and one world, which we are all struggling to discover more fully.”
- Alan Padgett
“Ignorance of providence is the ultimate of all miseries; the highest blessedness lies in the knowledge of it.”
“How does God’s impulse come to pass in men?” These two statements perfectly agree, 'that man, while he is acted upon by God, yet at the same time acts!' "
- John Calvin
“How can we reconcile the comfort given by the confession of God’s providence and the dread that rises from events of this century? How are we to think of God’s care for the world given the success of modern science in explaining what happens? In our contemporary context, the only time we are allowed to speak of an ‘act of God’ is in the context of making insurance claims in the wake of earthquakes and hurricanes.”
"Without a doctrine of providence the idea of God is largely irrelevant to what is actually happening in the world. Without a doctrine of providence, theology does not touch life. The view one holds with regard to providence affects your approach to action and prayer. For example, is a nuclear war necessarily going to occur or not occur by divine providence, or has God left this contingent on our prayers and actions, with the terrifying responsibility that this entails? The doctrine of providence allows us to counter the idea of fatalism."
- Kevin Vanhoozer
What has God's providence to do with this, you say? Take a look at the picture again.. from another angle:
Oh, my...
Now.. is the naturalistic explanation still satisfactory?
What was at work here? Physics and human behavior?
Or.. Divine Providence?
What do you suppose the driver who survived this thinks was at work?
For whatever reason, when we see a situation that is not *too* traumatic, something that is sort of everyday-ish, we think in terms of natural phenomena as explanation enough.
But.. when we witness something that is *profound*, we reach for an explanation that transcends natural phenomena, and we wonder "What did God intend? What was He doing? What role did He play?"
So is God only at work in the truly profound? Or.. in the routine matters of life?
Is His providence general or meticulous?
I like the idea of meticulous Providence in that I like the idea that God is involved in all facets of my life. :) I don't like the idea, though, when I think of some of the things that have happened in my life, that I'm pretty reluctant to ascribe to God.. :(
In class we didn't have an answer.
I don't either. Do you?
I mean the notion that God exerts some measure of direction over life on this earth. In general, a benevolent direction.. or rather, a direction that tends toward our benefit over eternity.
Our last class in TS501 on Tuesday dealt with this issue, and some of the difficulties we face in both accepting it as true, and denying it as true. Here is an example in pictures:
What do you observe about this scene?
The class spent a few minutes speculating on the cause of this situation. What explains it? Looks like the truck went through a guard rail. What explains why it happened, where it landed, and how?
Well.. physics explains the landing, I guess. The speed of the truck, the resistance of the guard rail, the trajectory of the vehicle as it left the road, the shape of the hillside, the presence of the culvert, all contributed to the truck landing right side up. Right?
Why did it happen? Maybe the driver was drunk. Maybe he had the sun in his eyes. Maybe she was texting someone on her cell phone. Maybe he swerved to miss an armadillo. Maybe she spilled hot coffee on her lap. Who knows?
There's an explanation, we were sure of it. Natural laws of physics and the vagaries of human behavior combined to produce this effect.
Right?
Now a few quotes from the theologians:
“Natural science yields facts and theories about creation; but facts and theories alone do not constitute a worldview.”
“Theological, philosophical and scientific evidence are all relevant to answering important worldview questions, and any attempt to hermetically seal-off these disciplines will lead to incoherence…There is one God (or religious Reality) and one world, which we are all struggling to discover more fully.”
- Alan Padgett
“Ignorance of providence is the ultimate of all miseries; the highest blessedness lies in the knowledge of it.”
“How does God’s impulse come to pass in men?” These two statements perfectly agree, 'that man, while he is acted upon by God, yet at the same time acts!' "
- John Calvin
“How can we reconcile the comfort given by the confession of God’s providence and the dread that rises from events of this century? How are we to think of God’s care for the world given the success of modern science in explaining what happens? In our contemporary context, the only time we are allowed to speak of an ‘act of God’ is in the context of making insurance claims in the wake of earthquakes and hurricanes.”
"Without a doctrine of providence the idea of God is largely irrelevant to what is actually happening in the world. Without a doctrine of providence, theology does not touch life. The view one holds with regard to providence affects your approach to action and prayer. For example, is a nuclear war necessarily going to occur or not occur by divine providence, or has God left this contingent on our prayers and actions, with the terrifying responsibility that this entails? The doctrine of providence allows us to counter the idea of fatalism."
- Kevin Vanhoozer
What has God's providence to do with this, you say? Take a look at the picture again.. from another angle:
Oh, my...
Now.. is the naturalistic explanation still satisfactory?
What was at work here? Physics and human behavior?
Or.. Divine Providence?
What do you suppose the driver who survived this thinks was at work?
For whatever reason, when we see a situation that is not *too* traumatic, something that is sort of everyday-ish, we think in terms of natural phenomena as explanation enough.
But.. when we witness something that is *profound*, we reach for an explanation that transcends natural phenomena, and we wonder "What did God intend? What was He doing? What role did He play?"
So is God only at work in the truly profound? Or.. in the routine matters of life?
Is His providence general or meticulous?
I like the idea of meticulous Providence in that I like the idea that God is involved in all facets of my life. :) I don't like the idea, though, when I think of some of the things that have happened in my life, that I'm pretty reluctant to ascribe to God.. :(
In class we didn't have an answer.
I don't either. Do you?
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Mary, Mary..
..and the saints. Topic of the night last night in RCIA. It's the first time I've seen one of the instructors get a little testy! I had to give him a hug afterwards. :)
I think they sold me on the "communion of saints" idea, the way they view it - which is basically the church being made up of all those who are "in Christ", both those currently living in the flesh and those who have departed. Our fellowship with other believers doesn't end at physical death.
As Jesus taught: "God is not the God of the dead, but of the living." And so the communion of saints is ALL of them, past and present. Even the Old Testament faithful are swept into this definition. Okay so far. Now, the "prayer to" part..
They used the word pray in the Shakespearean sense, a'la: "I pray thee, good fellow, go with me a mile." In other words, a request. Not worship. If there is fellowship among all the saints, those on earth and those departed, then there's no difference between asking a friend or relative sitting across the table from you to pray about this or that concern of yours, and asking a departed saint to do the same. We are in fellowship.
At least that's the theory. :)
We talked about the idea of taking on a "confirmation name", a second middle name, to indicate a saint whom you respect and want to develop a relationship with over the course of your life. Sort of like naming a child after a grandparent, out of respect (which, by the way, is what they mean by veneration.) I asked if you could choose an Old Testament person for that. "Sure, happens all the time."
Good. :) Any guesses as to who I have in mind?
Now, on the subject of Mary, and the hyperdoulia as they put it: "extra special veneration".. I think I'll hold that until part 2. Suffice it to say right now that.. I'm not on board yet. :)
I think they sold me on the "communion of saints" idea, the way they view it - which is basically the church being made up of all those who are "in Christ", both those currently living in the flesh and those who have departed. Our fellowship with other believers doesn't end at physical death.
As Jesus taught: "God is not the God of the dead, but of the living." And so the communion of saints is ALL of them, past and present. Even the Old Testament faithful are swept into this definition. Okay so far. Now, the "prayer to" part..
They used the word pray in the Shakespearean sense, a'la: "I pray thee, good fellow, go with me a mile." In other words, a request. Not worship. If there is fellowship among all the saints, those on earth and those departed, then there's no difference between asking a friend or relative sitting across the table from you to pray about this or that concern of yours, and asking a departed saint to do the same. We are in fellowship.
At least that's the theory. :)
We talked about the idea of taking on a "confirmation name", a second middle name, to indicate a saint whom you respect and want to develop a relationship with over the course of your life. Sort of like naming a child after a grandparent, out of respect (which, by the way, is what they mean by veneration.) I asked if you could choose an Old Testament person for that. "Sure, happens all the time."
Good. :) Any guesses as to who I have in mind?
Now, on the subject of Mary, and the hyperdoulia as they put it: "extra special veneration".. I think I'll hold that until part 2. Suffice it to say right now that.. I'm not on board yet. :)
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Waking up
this morning, I found that I was praying..
You know how when you first start to stir to wakefulness, you dimly become aware of your thoughts? Maybe you're just finishing up a dream, or you're thinking how your arm feels numb, or how warm and cozy it is under the covers, or you wonder if it snowed overnight? Random thoughts like that? You never know what thoughts you will wake to in your head from one morning to the next.
Curled up in the fetal position this morning, cozy warm under the covers, I woke.. in prayer. Hm. I can't remember the last time that happened. Guess there were things on my heart when I went to bed.. and they were still there in the morning.. but I was giving them to God, asking Him to do what I could not.
I wonder if you can talk to God in your sleep?
I wonder if He heard?
Guess I'll find out.
You know how when you first start to stir to wakefulness, you dimly become aware of your thoughts? Maybe you're just finishing up a dream, or you're thinking how your arm feels numb, or how warm and cozy it is under the covers, or you wonder if it snowed overnight? Random thoughts like that? You never know what thoughts you will wake to in your head from one morning to the next.
Curled up in the fetal position this morning, cozy warm under the covers, I woke.. in prayer. Hm. I can't remember the last time that happened. Guess there were things on my heart when I went to bed.. and they were still there in the morning.. but I was giving them to God, asking Him to do what I could not.
I wonder if you can talk to God in your sleep?
I wonder if He heard?
Guess I'll find out.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Music Review: The Flaming Lips, Neko Case, Goo Goo Dolls
Before I begin, I've been studying along to some ambient electronic music that I stumbled across and downloaded recently. Interesting website concept - netlabel. Hm.
This first band provided me with some comic relief in TS501 last week. :) We were discussing doing theology as a second-order reflection, serving to mediate Christianity to culture. The question was "how much should we accommodate Christianity to culture? do we risk draining it of its transforming qualities if we allow culture to subsume it? at what point do we become culture-chasers?" We were discussing postmodernism and the "emerging church" movement that embraces aspects of this philosophy, sometimes a tad too readily.
At a lull in the discussion, I say: "Man, now I don't know what to do. What music do I listen to in my car - Jars of Clay or The Flaming Lips? Does it depend on if I'm driving to church, or to Dunn Bros. for coffee? What if we serve Dunn Bros. coffee at church?" Big laugh there from most of the class. So thanks, Lips.. sometimes theology is too serious.
So, The Flaming Lips - three CDs to review: "At War With the Mystics", "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots", "The Soft Bulletin"
I'm not sure what I was expecting. :) Quirkiness? Yes. Something odd, but appealing? Yes. The only song I'd ever heard of theirs before was "Do You Realize?", and could that possibly be representative of their body of work?
Well.. yes and no. :) Of course, now that it's used as the soundtrack to a Ford Ranger commercial, I automatically have to think less of it. ;) But.. it's a lovely song. Definitely evokes strong feelings..
As I listened more and more, I couldn't shake the thought that if Brian Wilson had been born 20 years later, he might have been the Lips' Wayne Coyne. ;) Neither one of them has that great a solo voice, but when they put instruments and background harmonies together with the weak voice, they soar! And the weird effects behind the music, the knack for a commercial hook, the ability to evoke feeling.. the uniqueness of the overall sound.. very similar. I'll have to dig out "Pet Sounds" again, and the reissued "Smile" album, and give Wilson's productions another listen. Then listen to Coyne's again. :) Yep.. about 20 years. That's the difference.
There certainly are some odd tracks on these albums that I can barely get through. Talking, squeaking, squalling. The ones I think they do best are the ones that are more atmospheric, and set a contemplative mood. You could read a Douglas Coupland novel to them! ;) They fit together. Favorites by album:
"TSB" - Feeling Yourself Disintegrate, Sleeping on the Roof, Suddenly Everything Has Changed, The Spark That Bled, The Observer, Waiting For A Superman, What Is The Light?
"YBTPR" - Do You Realize?, All We Have Is Now, Fight Test (pretty hard to listen to.. those lyrics.. :( ), Approaching Pavonis Mons By Balloon, Are You A Hypnotist?, It's Summertime
"AWWTM" - The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song, Vein of Stars (not exactly original thought here, but the music is way prettier than John Lennon's "Imagine"), It Overtakes Me (this one is almost symphonic, with 3 movements), Mr. Ambulance Driver, My Cosmic Autumn Rebellion, Pompeii AM Gotterdammerung, The Sound Of Failure (another one with movements)
So, thumbs up for these guys. Mostly. :) Oh, and, I'm not really sure Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody really needed to be covered by anyone (it's on AWWTM). It's pretty perfect as is. :) It's kind of like Michael Buble' covering their Crazy Little Thing Called Love. Not really necessary, thanks. Some things are better left alone. ;)
Neko Case - "Furnace Room Lullaby": Wow. Wowowow. :) This girl can sing! I once described her to someone as "Imogen Heap and Rilo Kiley together, if the combination of the two were also channeling Johnny Cash" ;) It's even more true after hearing this CD. I have a couple of her newer CDs ("Blacklisted" and "Fox Confessor Brings The Flood"), where she is a little further from her country roots and a bit more alternative with every release, but this older one is a real gem. Best of the lot, I think.
Every track is good, with my favorites being the title track, plus "Mood To Burn Bridges", "Porchlight", and the absolutely gorgeous little song "No Need To Cry". You say that, Neko, sure, but every time I hear the song I want to! ;) She uses a lot of 3/4 and 12/8 meter, and minor chords, and so it has a romantic melancholy to it. And that, of course.. suits me! :) If I had an extra thumb.. I'd have three up for this one. :)
By the way, if you want to check out "Fox Confessor", I'd recommend downloading these tracks: "That Teenage Feeling" (mmm...), "Lion's Jaws", "Maybe Sparrow", and "The Needle Has Landed".
Goo Goo Dolls - "Greatest Hits, Vol. 1: The Singles": Mmmmm... Beginning with Iris (boy do I wish I would've had that song handy a while back..) and ending with Better Days (really good song for Christmas), this is a terrific greatest hits album; nothing marginal on here at all. Terrific sound, well-turned lyrics, melodic hooks, great balance of guitars, vocals, strings, synth, drum.. really, really, good. :)
Where was I when these guys were coming up? Busy, I guess.. Oh, well - it's never too late to catch on to something good! Two thumbs up! :)
This first band provided me with some comic relief in TS501 last week. :) We were discussing doing theology as a second-order reflection, serving to mediate Christianity to culture. The question was "how much should we accommodate Christianity to culture? do we risk draining it of its transforming qualities if we allow culture to subsume it? at what point do we become culture-chasers?" We were discussing postmodernism and the "emerging church" movement that embraces aspects of this philosophy, sometimes a tad too readily.
At a lull in the discussion, I say: "Man, now I don't know what to do. What music do I listen to in my car - Jars of Clay or The Flaming Lips? Does it depend on if I'm driving to church, or to Dunn Bros. for coffee? What if we serve Dunn Bros. coffee at church?" Big laugh there from most of the class. So thanks, Lips.. sometimes theology is too serious.
So, The Flaming Lips - three CDs to review: "At War With the Mystics", "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots", "The Soft Bulletin"
I'm not sure what I was expecting. :) Quirkiness? Yes. Something odd, but appealing? Yes. The only song I'd ever heard of theirs before was "Do You Realize?", and could that possibly be representative of their body of work?
Well.. yes and no. :) Of course, now that it's used as the soundtrack to a Ford Ranger commercial, I automatically have to think less of it. ;) But.. it's a lovely song. Definitely evokes strong feelings..
As I listened more and more, I couldn't shake the thought that if Brian Wilson had been born 20 years later, he might have been the Lips' Wayne Coyne. ;) Neither one of them has that great a solo voice, but when they put instruments and background harmonies together with the weak voice, they soar! And the weird effects behind the music, the knack for a commercial hook, the ability to evoke feeling.. the uniqueness of the overall sound.. very similar. I'll have to dig out "Pet Sounds" again, and the reissued "Smile" album, and give Wilson's productions another listen. Then listen to Coyne's again. :) Yep.. about 20 years. That's the difference.
There certainly are some odd tracks on these albums that I can barely get through. Talking, squeaking, squalling. The ones I think they do best are the ones that are more atmospheric, and set a contemplative mood. You could read a Douglas Coupland novel to them! ;) They fit together. Favorites by album:
"TSB" - Feeling Yourself Disintegrate, Sleeping on the Roof, Suddenly Everything Has Changed, The Spark That Bled, The Observer, Waiting For A Superman, What Is The Light?
"YBTPR" - Do You Realize?, All We Have Is Now, Fight Test (pretty hard to listen to.. those lyrics.. :( ), Approaching Pavonis Mons By Balloon, Are You A Hypnotist?, It's Summertime
"AWWTM" - The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song, Vein of Stars (not exactly original thought here, but the music is way prettier than John Lennon's "Imagine"), It Overtakes Me (this one is almost symphonic, with 3 movements), Mr. Ambulance Driver, My Cosmic Autumn Rebellion, Pompeii AM Gotterdammerung, The Sound Of Failure (another one with movements)
So, thumbs up for these guys. Mostly. :) Oh, and, I'm not really sure Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody really needed to be covered by anyone (it's on AWWTM). It's pretty perfect as is. :) It's kind of like Michael Buble' covering their Crazy Little Thing Called Love. Not really necessary, thanks. Some things are better left alone. ;)
Neko Case - "Furnace Room Lullaby": Wow. Wowowow. :) This girl can sing! I once described her to someone as "Imogen Heap and Rilo Kiley together, if the combination of the two were also channeling Johnny Cash" ;) It's even more true after hearing this CD. I have a couple of her newer CDs ("Blacklisted" and "Fox Confessor Brings The Flood"), where she is a little further from her country roots and a bit more alternative with every release, but this older one is a real gem. Best of the lot, I think.
Every track is good, with my favorites being the title track, plus "Mood To Burn Bridges", "Porchlight", and the absolutely gorgeous little song "No Need To Cry". You say that, Neko, sure, but every time I hear the song I want to! ;) She uses a lot of 3/4 and 12/8 meter, and minor chords, and so it has a romantic melancholy to it. And that, of course.. suits me! :) If I had an extra thumb.. I'd have three up for this one. :)
By the way, if you want to check out "Fox Confessor", I'd recommend downloading these tracks: "That Teenage Feeling" (mmm...), "Lion's Jaws", "Maybe Sparrow", and "The Needle Has Landed".
Goo Goo Dolls - "Greatest Hits, Vol. 1: The Singles": Mmmmm... Beginning with Iris (boy do I wish I would've had that song handy a while back..) and ending with Better Days (really good song for Christmas), this is a terrific greatest hits album; nothing marginal on here at all. Terrific sound, well-turned lyrics, melodic hooks, great balance of guitars, vocals, strings, synth, drum.. really, really, good. :)
Where was I when these guys were coming up? Busy, I guess.. Oh, well - it's never too late to catch on to something good! Two thumbs up! :)
Monday, December 03, 2007
Back in the classroom
tonight - on the other side of the podium again. :)
Not for long, just a quick 8 weeks (with two of those off for holidays). Cardinal Stritch needed an instructor, and it only overlaps with my January seminary class for 3 weeks, and that on a different night. Plus, it's a class I taught in July, and I have all my prep done already, so.. I took it!
The pay isn't much, just enough to cover the cost of that new sleeper sofa in the room where J2 will sleep when he comes home, but that's not why I do it. I'm just glad for the chance to keep my hand in. I think adjuncting for one class over the Winter break and one or two in Summer is just right. These little 6 week classes are perfect for that.
The only bad thing about it is that I have to dress decently. :( Dress shirt & pants, dress shoes.. ugh! I'm so used to working in a t-shirt & shorts.. and I wear jeans to church (nice ones!).. business dress seems like a step backwards! ;)
D asked this morning if this is something that I can look forward to.. get a little joy from. Yeah. :) I can.
Hmmm... I wonder if they need adjunct professors where she will be going to school. She'll be taking some math.. hmmm. Oh, the possibilities for extra credit assignments.. ;)
The sun came out this morning and baked the snow off the driveway. Love that southern exposure! :) Gee, it looks pretty out...
But oh, is it cold!! Zero. Brrrr... put de-icer in the gas tank this morning for the first time this season. And, like a numbskull, ran it through the car wash to get the slush from the weekend off. Now I probably won't be able to open the doors to drive to class - they'll be frozen shut. :(
Not for long, just a quick 8 weeks (with two of those off for holidays). Cardinal Stritch needed an instructor, and it only overlaps with my January seminary class for 3 weeks, and that on a different night. Plus, it's a class I taught in July, and I have all my prep done already, so.. I took it!
The pay isn't much, just enough to cover the cost of that new sleeper sofa in the room where J2 will sleep when he comes home, but that's not why I do it. I'm just glad for the chance to keep my hand in. I think adjuncting for one class over the Winter break and one or two in Summer is just right. These little 6 week classes are perfect for that.
The only bad thing about it is that I have to dress decently. :( Dress shirt & pants, dress shoes.. ugh! I'm so used to working in a t-shirt & shorts.. and I wear jeans to church (nice ones!).. business dress seems like a step backwards! ;)
D asked this morning if this is something that I can look forward to.. get a little joy from. Yeah. :) I can.
Hmmm... I wonder if they need adjunct professors where she will be going to school. She'll be taking some math.. hmmm. Oh, the possibilities for extra credit assignments.. ;)
The sun came out this morning and baked the snow off the driveway. Love that southern exposure! :) Gee, it looks pretty out...
But oh, is it cold!! Zero. Brrrr... put de-icer in the gas tank this morning for the first time this season. And, like a numbskull, ran it through the car wash to get the slush from the weekend off. Now I probably won't be able to open the doors to drive to class - they'll be frozen shut. :(
Sunday, December 02, 2007
A fresh coat
of white on the ground.
Yesterday and today.. mmm.
What a lovely start to a new month. :)
Yesterday and today.. mmm.
What a lovely start to a new month. :)
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Too cold and snowy..
to get out to Mass today. :(
I'll have to be content with helping change out the seasonal stuff in the sanctuary this morning before the storm hit.
Cold out there..
.. but I'm feeling nice and warm inside. :)
mmhmm. lovely.
I'll have to be content with helping change out the seasonal stuff in the sanctuary this morning before the storm hit.
Cold out there..
.. but I'm feeling nice and warm inside. :)
mmhmm. lovely.
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